the FOUND Side of Lost

¡BIENVENIDOS! VISIT MY WEBSITE

[foundsideoflost]

Elena Marcu, Romanian translator of James Baldwin’s Giovanni’s Room:

“With Baldwin, there are at least five ways to say what he wrote, and most of the times, none of them seemed quite right.

My room was never completely quiet. I read each translated sentence out loud to hear how it spoke. Was my voice in there? Change it! And repeat. Over and over and over. When the book speaks, I have to remain mute.

Eventually, I set a deadline to finish the translation. I don’t quite know if it’s finished and I probably never will. It’s strange to feel there’s so much need for change to get closer to the core. To keep that rawness and that sophistication of language, thought and emotion, to make alterations to keep the meaning intact, the tone intact in such a different language, to preserve Baldwin’s mind in all its intensity, to elude the mental patterns that make translators who they are. Translators need to be invisible. They need to leave no trace, I reminded myself. They need to quietly live inside every word they’ve typed but didn’t write. They need to project, to reflect, not to mimic. They need to become someone else. They owe it to themselves to try.”

–from Marcu’s 2018 essay “The Joy and Terror of Translation James Baldwin’s Giovanni’s Room“

[foundsideoflost]

Tomorrowland has already happened while I think about unfolding these elbows that keep holding me up. tired of pretending to be something I’m not I choose to leave the ash alone. tired of waiting for what comes next, and after the next, will what happened way back then happen all over again. I’d like to be prepared to pray. I’d like to be prepared for anything at all, even if that means I lose the parts of my body that hold me up. But what will become of us, what is us. What is now. Where is tomorrow.

[foundsideoflost]

On the other side of the trees there’s a Macondo being made of this town. The rainfalls, the emptying where it once was full. The drying like bowls of dust, where there is no glitter. The everything you read about. The everything that was written. The nothing. On this side of the trees I think of my Macondo, no emptying or drying. No nothing. The everything. A heaviness that forces you to forget your own name, and your own body parts. All of the Macondos, all of the houses, all of the blurs. But not this house. And surviving forces you to remember. And I‘m [still] not mad at the men who knew better, or at the women who became spectators, or at all of the liars. I look out the window and see no windstorm, the trees still stand, the sun still sets [of course], and I still feel guilty of course, and I still feel scared [of course], and I still feel, and I’m still unable to articulate. And so I write.

[foundsideoflost]

PEDESTRIAN SAFETY IN COMMUNITIES OF COLOR & EQUITY AND ENGAGEMENT TOWARD VISION ZERO "All Angelenos deserve safe streets. Traffic deaths affect our communities more than traditional measures of crime, such as gang-related activity. In 2013, there were 201 traffic deaths in Los Angeles, compared with 149 gang-related homicides. Nearly half of the streets on the High-Injury Network are neighborhoods with a greater percentageof children, seniors, people of color, immigrants, people with disabilities, or low-income households. A disproportionate percentage of serious and fatal collisions take place in Central and South Los Angeles, where people are more likely to walk, bike, or take transit as their primary mode of transportation. The City’s commitment to equity and engagement prioritizes communities that depend on a variety of travel modes. The first step to addressing equity and engagement through Vision Zero is to build a deeper understanding of how social inequalities affect the health and safety of Angelenos. For example, race may affect the safety of people of color as they walk from place to place. In one study, blacks trying to cross the street had to wait 32-percent longer than whites because cars did not stop to allow them to cross safely. Although health equity and social equity are directly related, they have di erent implications for safety on our streets. We must continue to better define and understand issues of social and health equity to support traffic safety in all our communities. We can grow our understanding of these complex issues by building relationships with communities where health disparities are concentrated alongside social inequities such as poverty, unemployment, and crime. We will engage community members from the beginning of the project planning process and work to build trust." -----taken from the VZ action plan. The city of LA has to be held accountable, and we all have to step up and initiate these conversations before implantation without equity takes place. We don't need to see law enforcement become a part of the solution. We can help each other make the necessary changes we need to survive these injustices!

[organicfeelings]

[foundsideoflost]

Throughout my life I've benefited from the support of the National Endowment for the Arts (a service Trump wants to cut), like participating in art programs that nurtured the beauty and creativity my sad childhood needed in order to survive the bad stuff, and school field trips to museums where some exhibits would provide that cultural influence that instilled my interest in traveling, and learning before judging. And now I work 'in' the arts, and I witness the magic that continues to happen thanks to any and all funding available. When I was working in Alaska as an AmeriCorps volunteer (a service Trump wants to cut) I volunteered for Meals on Wheels America (a service Trump wants to cut funding to) three times a week. The MOW program made it possible for folks who were too sick, alone, and unable to get out of bed, to stay in their warm homes during winter and experience a warm meal & conversation. AmeriCorps creates several opportunities for real-world community engagement, in ways that foster equitable leadership in socio-political, economical and environmental structures, for those interested in 'a next step in volunteerism.' These things are important. Cutting even a fraction of these budgets limits access to these programs for many who need them. And eliminating them all together will leave holes in some structural foundations of humanity in this country. And if this country can "elect" a Trump, heaven KNOWS we need whatever amount of governmental/institutional support in humanity we can get. #SaveTheNEA #SavetheNCCC #SaveTheMOWfunding #SaveTheEPA #SaveItAll #StopTrump #byanymeansnecessary ONE CLICK signs a letter https://www.votervoice.net/mobile/ARTSUSA/Campaigns/47344/Respond if you can donate... http://www.mealsonwheelsamerica.org ❤

[foundsideoflost]

"To make the distinction unmistakably clear: Civilization is the vital force in human history; culture is that inert mass of institutions and organizations which accumulate around and tend to drag down the advance of life; Civilization is Giordano Bruno facing death by fire; culture is the Cardinal Bellarmino, after ten years of inquisition, sending Bruno to the stake in the Campo di Fiori; Civilization is Sartre; culture Cocteau; Civilization is mutual aid and self-defense; culture is the judge, the lawbook and the forces of Law & Ordure (sic); Civilization is uprising, insurrection, revolution; culture is the war of state against state, or of machines against people, as in Hungary and Vietnam; Civilization is tolerance, detachment and humor, or passion, anger, revenge; culture is the entrance examination, the gas chamber, the doctoral dissertation and the electric chair; Civilization is the Ukrainian peasant Nestor Makhno fighting the Germans, then the Reds, then the Whites, then the Reds again; culture is Stalin and the Fatherland; Civilization is Jesus turning water into wine; culture is Christ walking on the waves; Civilization is a youth with a Molotov cocktail in his hand; culture is the Soviet tank or the L.A. cop that guns him down; Civilization is the wild river; culture, 592,000 tons of cement; Civilization flows; culture thickens and coagulates, like tired, sick, stifled blood."

[foundsideoflost]

OH EM GEE. Unveiling January 13 & 14 at Black Comic Fest. "Octavia E. Butler, one of the most recognized science fiction writers of our time will have her most celebrated novel, Kindred available as a graphic novel for sci-fi fans and comic books enthusiasts alike." #scifi #afrofuturism #octaviabutler #comicbooks just got real!

[roxanegay]

My 2016 In Reading

THE BOOKS I LOVED SO MUCH I WANTED TO SEW THEM INTO MY SKIN AKA MY FAVORITE BOOKS OF THE YEAR IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi Another Brooklyn by Jacqueline Woodson Today I Am a Book by xTx The Three Woes by Casey Hannan A Bestiary by Lily Hoang Queen of the Night by Alexander Chee The Mothers by Brit Bennett Commonwealth by Ann Patchett

THE BOOK THAT OPENED MY EYES AND MIND AND BROKE MY HEART WITH THE PAINFUL REALITY TOO MANY AMERICANS LIVE WITH

Evicted by Matthew Desmond

THE BOOK THAT WAS TOTAL TRASH AND I THINK THE WRITER HATES FAT PEOPLE WHICH IS FINE BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE OUR ISSUES BUT STILL, GIRL, WHAT….

Maestra by L.S. Hilton

THE COMING OF AGE PROSE POETRY THAT MOVED ME IMMEASURABLY

The Pocket Knife Bible by Anis Mojgani

THE BOOK THAT MADE ME THINK HILLARY CLINTON REALLY WAS GOING TO WIN THE PRESIDENCY

All the Single Ladies by Rebecca Traister

THE STRANGE BOOK ABOUT LONELINESS AND THE THINGS WE DO ONLINE THAT I HIGHLY RECOMMEND

Valletta78 by Erin Fitzgerald

THE POETRY BOOK I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND AT ALL THOUGH I COULD TELL THE POEMS WERE SUPER SMART

The House of Lords and Commons by Ishion Hutchinson

THE ACTION THRILLER THAT HAD LOTS OF HYPE BLURBS BUT WAS ONLY SO SO

The Second Life of Nick Mason by Scott Hamilton

THE RETELLING OF A CLASSIC THAT I REALLY ENJOYED, WHICH SURPRISED ME AND ALSO THE AUTHOR WROTE ONE OF MY FAVORITE BOOKS OF ALL TIME, AMERICAN WIFE

Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld

THE BOOK THAT MADE ME CRY BECAUSE IT HELD SO MUCH I COULD RELATE TO AND THEN MADE ME A LITTLE MAD

13 Ways of Looking at a Fat Girl by Mona Awad

EXCELLENT SMALL PRESS BOOKS YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT

Pink Museum by Caroline Crew The Farmacist by Ashley Farmer The Voyager Record by Anthony Michael Morena Massive Cleansing Fire by Dave Housley

THE BOOK I READ TO LEARN HOW TO WRITE A COMIC BOOK SERIES EVEN THOUGH I WAS WRITING FOR THEIR MAJOR COMPETITOR

The DC Comics Guide to Writing Comics by Dennis O’Neil

THE COMIC BOOK I LOVED AND RECOMMEND OFTEN

Saga by Brian Vaughan

THE COMIC BOOK ISSUE I READ AND THOUGHT WAS NOT SO GOOD SO I HAVEN’T READ ANY OTHER ISSUES IN THE SERIES

Wonder Woman Rebirth #1

THE BOOK I WROTE AN INTRODUCTION FOR (OUT IN 2017! FROM BEACON PRESS!)

Like One of the Family by Alice Childress

THE BOOK I REVIEWED FOR THE NEW YORK TIMES

Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult

THE BOOK I WANTED TO LOVE THAT HAD GORGEOUS OBSERVATIONS OF WOMEN’S FRIENDSHIPS

Rich and Pretty by Rumaan Alam

THE BOOK ABOUT CHEFS AND THEIR TATTOOS WITH FASCINATING STORIES OF WHY PEOPLE PERMANENTLY INK THEIR SKIN

Knives and Ink by Isaac Fitzgerald and Wendy MacNaughton

THE BOOK I READ BECAUSE I SAW A PREVIEW FOR THE TV SHOW AND LEARNED IT WAS BASED ON A BOOK SO I STARTED WONDERING IF THE BOOK WAS GOOD

Queen of the South by Arturo Perez-Reverte

SOME VERY GOOD BOOKS YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT BECAUSE THE STORIES ARE WARM AND/OR INTELLIGENT AND/OR STRANGE AND/OR GRIPPING AND/OR INTENSE

Turner House by Angela Flournoy LaRose by Louise Erdrich The Wangs vs the World by Jade Chang The Story of My Teeth by Valerie Luiselli You Will Know Me by Megan Abbott

THE HEARTBREAKING BOOK ABOUT BEING GAY IN THE MIDDLE EAST DURING THESE TUMULTUOUS TIMES FROM A WRITER WITH A LOT OF POTENTIAL

Guapa by Saleem Haddad

GORGEOUS BOOKS OF POETRY I REALLY LOVED

Night Sky With Exit Wounds by Ocean Vuong L’Heure Bleue by Elisa Gabbert The New Testament by Jericho Brown Look by Solmaz Sharif There Are More Beautiful Things Than Beyoncé by Morgan Parker

THE EXCELLENT BOOK I CHOSE AS MY SELECTION FOR BOOK OF THE MONTH CLUB

The Veins of the Ocean by Patricia Engel

THE BOOK I READ BASICALLY TO IMPRESS A GIRL AND IT WAS A PRETTY GOOD BOOK ALSO AND I HOPE THE GIRL WAS IMPRESSED BY MY DEDICATION BECAUSE THE BOOK WAS VERY LONG

The Fireman by Joe Hill

THE BOOK WITH AN AMAZING TITLE,  SOME REALLY GOOD STORIES INCLUDING A RIFF ON ANTIQUES ROADSHOW AND ALSO SOME STORIES I LIKED LESS

American Housewife by Helen Ellis

THE BOOK THAT WAS EXCEPTIONALLY WRITTEN BUT I WANTED THE ACTUAL RAILROAD PART TO BE MORE FULLY REALIZED

The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead

FUN BOOKS THAT WERE FUN

The Assistants by Camille Perri China Rich Girlfriend by Kevin Kwan

THE BOOK ABOUT BEING SINGLE TOWARD THE MIDDLE OF YOUR LIFE THAT PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE IS GOING TO LOVE WHEN IT COMES OUT

All Grown Up by Jami Attenberg

THE EXCELLENT SHORT STORY COLLECTIONS COMING OUT AROUND THE SAME TIME AS DIFFICULT WOMEN THAT MADE ME JEALOUS AND ALSO SCARED OF THE COMPETITION

Homesick for Another World by Ottessa Moshfegh Always Happy Hour by Mary Miller

THE BOOK THAT WAS NOT MY CUP OF TEA BUT IT’S ME NOT THE BOOK

300 Arguments by Sarah Manguso

THE BOOKS I BLURBED (AND THEREFORE REALLY ENJOYED)

You’re the  Most Beautiful Thing That Happened by Arisa White In the Not Quite Dark by Dana Johnson I Almost Forgot About You by Terry McMillan Feminist Baby by Loryn Brantz Lower Ed: The Troubling Rise of For-Profit Colleges in the New Economy by Tressie McMillan Cottom Bruja by Wendy C. Ortiz Sing For Your Life by Daniel Bergner Made for Love by Alissa Nutting

[diaryofanangryasianguy]

09/25/16

Vendors sue Grand Central Market, say gentrification caused lease terminations

“‘I’ve lost everything. I’ve been living in this country for 48 years. I put everything in it. I lost everything,’ Soo Hwan Kim said.

Kim, 68, and Bo Soo Jo, 76, are suing the owners of Grand Central, claiming their leases, as well as those of 11 other minority vendors, were terminated last year. Those spots were then replaced with white-owned businesses, according to the suit.”

[huariqueje]

Dinner    -     Alejandra Caballero

Spanish,  b. 1974-

Oil on canvas

[onehumangallery]

the worst sentence i read all year

It’s the end of the year so I’m creating my first ever Best/Worst Of list! Except it’s only Worst Of. And it’s not really a list. It’s just one thing.

I am a writer and a publisher, not to mention that I basically live on Facebook 24 hours a day, so it goes without saying that I read many many beautiful words, sentences, paragraphs, stories.

Obviously, being around words all day everyday also means that I’ll inevitably read some terrible things—fucked up construction of sentences, very wrong usage of words, stupid/nonsensical/dangerous ideas. Many of them even written by me!

Well…

Here is my TOP ONE WORST SENTENCE I READ IN 2016 list!

1. “Opiate addiction – to pain pills or heroin — is the closest thing to enslavement that we have in America today.”

This shit sentence was written by National Book Award nominated author Sam Quinones, who has been writing about heroin/opiate epidemic for a little while now, in a blog post called “Donald Trump & Opiates in America.”

Not sweatshops. Not all the migrant workers. Not any of the people living through the Old and New Jim Crow era. Not people being forced to drink contaminated water. Not the Natives living on reservations. Not anybody in the prisons whose literal bodies are being used/held/owned for literal profit. Etc etc.

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! 

The nonsense of that sentence is amplified a million times by two other statements that precede it in the post:

“In theory, addiction knows no race. In reality, though, our national opiate scourge is almost entirely white.”

and…

“People also grew to understand that virtually all our heroin comes from or through Mexico – which is why it is cheaper and more potent than ever in our history. That did nothing to engender love for our southern neighbor in regions that had lost factories as well as kids.”

So….let’s do some calculations.

Only white people suffer from this thing.

This is why white people don’t like Mexicans.

People who suffer from this thing are the only people enslaved in this country.

White people are the only slaves in this country.

Y’all follow that? Did I math wrong?

It’s no surprise that SQ has become a darling of the suffering Whites. I’m sure he’s working his ass off, like writers tend to do, to parlay that into book sales, movie deals, awards, etc. 

And it seems like with the election of Trump, he’s finding a new angle to hustle his words and expertise.

Anyway, there was a moment where I thought, “Maybe that’s all it is. Just a desire to sell more books. I mean, I wouldn’t do it that way but…”

Then I see him slinging this NYT garbage from Lilla:

Really.

Not only does whiteness want to steal all the wealth, power, and resources, whiteness also wants to steal all the pain, suffering, and sympathy.

Quoting @racheldoinglines, this is the comment I left on his Facebook post:

[foundsideoflost]

I can't stop thinking of this piece from Wendy C Ortiz's Bruja. It's affect on me, the chilling unmemories and haunts that it conjures up for me, reminds me that the thing about dreams is sometimes we share them, because they're made of symbols. Symbols are universal. Belonging. They're spirits way of guiding us back to us, and the road is often the same road to the other side of the belonging. The unbelonging. That's where the best of us are, the unbelonged, untouched, the placenta removed, but not ever misplaced. This is a really good book of brujería. Thank you Wendy, for being. ❤️🔮#Bruja #CCM #Books #literaryLA #Dreamoir

[foundsideoflost]

Eating at a Mexican chain restaurant I've been going to since I was three or so. The news is on, showing protesters in NYC and Chicago. A strong white 50+ year old man wanted to shut it off, aggressively demanding it off, but systems my please. But one of the workers told him to hold on because he wanted to watch it. I wondered why the man wanted it off. Thought maybe this is the kind of attitude that we should expect in the coming years. He goes to his table and sits down with his wife. He asks how so and so's kids are doing. And continues saying things that I can't quite make out. She says to him loud enough for me to hear, "Government works slowly. We have to find a way to be emotionally healthy about the whole thing, and continue on. Life goes on despite what happens in the government. And it's only four years." And I realize that they haven't exactly smiled, and they look sad. This grown man wanted the news off because it was upsetting him. I hear him sniffle as she's telling him this. I don't know his story, but I know he has a heart. He continues to talk to the staff warmly, not demanding. And now I can't stop crying. California will not be silent about all of this mess that was created before 1776.

[sordxradical]

Frida Kahlo and Cultural Appropriation

First Things First- I revere Frida Kahlo like no other. i recognize her as an ancestor who was fiercely political, and therefore resistant of many systems of dominance… the ultimate disabled femme of color who didn’t give a fuck. i deeply resent how she is decontextualized and appropriated by corporations, businesses, and [white] people who don’t bother to keep her legacy whole and intact, and instead pick her apart for only the most appealing components to sell or get brownie points for: e.g., the white-washing, the despicable photoshopping/rebranding of her as non-disabled, the plastering of eurocentric beauty norms, toting bags of her or dressing up as her for halloween cuz it’s “different,” and so on. i’m resentful of witnessing all of these actions many times over, 

but, loving and honoring somebody, even an ancestor, doesn’t mean that we cannot or should not critically examine them and their lives. if anything, love means that we confront, embrace, but acknowledge the complexities of the whole person. (see: bell hooks.) and so with that, i feel we should start talking more about Frida and her appropriation of indigenous cultures. 

being a racially mixed and multiethnic xicanx (father is a lightskinned latino born in el salvador, mother is a third-generation euro-american, with basque and italian ethnic ancestries) who largely passes as white, i’ve come to decide that i no longer wear clothing associated with/produced by indigenous cultures of mexico or central america. the reason for this is because of the rampant presence and practice of cultural appropriation, which is in itself an act of violence, always. cultural appropriation is violence because it not only decontextualizes history, circumstance, and power structure/dynamics/relations, it erases all of the aforementioned… and that is an act of violence, in all possible degrees and manifestations. consider the systematic erasure and institutionalized invisibility of Indigenous peoples in the Americas, this takes on greater meaning. 

so by me donning the blouses of various indigenous groups across central america, and with my lightskinned and white-passing privileges, i walk in public passing as a white woman, and therefore both overtly and subliminally give a message to actual white women that *it’s okay to do this, it’s okay to look like me and to wear products like this and it looks cool and trendy and it’s no big to do this*- and that is not what i want to espouse. i care more about ending the violence of cultural appropriation than i do about wearing those cultural products. i know that i walk in public, and i am read as a white woman, and therefore this comes with staggering responsibility, and i am at the table to talk about how i need to navigate these privileges in a society that is overtly anti-Black, anti-Indigenous, anti-Black and Brown, and so on. 

this, however, has led me to contemplate what it means for us to view, post, hang, and/or revere the images of Frida in Tehuana clothing, for instance. Frida and I are similar- at least one parent was European, the other lighter/lightskinned mestiz@- we may have dark hair, dark eyes, thick eyebrows, but our skin is damn light and white. the racial privileges we both have/had is very real. we also shared similar class status in Latin America, which expounds our lightskinned/white-passing privileges, in the context of Latin America being a colonized, white supremacy-dominant territory. take us out of Latin America and place us in Europe or the U.S. we’ll do reasonably okay, if not perfectly okay, traversing the social axis of race. 

so what does it mean that Frida drew “inspiration” from Indigenous art, iconography, cultural products, and peoples? if she was an icon in present day, would we bring out the old and tired and inept argument of “appreciation” in spite of the increasing conversations we’ve been having about lightskinned/white-passing POC, cultural appropriation, and community responsibilities? i somehow doubt it. 

so what conversations should we be having and continuing? again: loving and honoring our ancestors still means that we recognize the whole of who they were and what they did. and we can still embrace them as who they are, without sidelining important discussions.

-Elena Ruiz-Williams 

[formerly Elena Figueroa-Ruiz]

multiracial/multiethnic Xicanx cis Femme PanQueer Deaf-Signing writer/activist, 2014

[foundsideoflost]

night day dream mares Last night while dreaming a pre-baby was burning in my glass. But the smoke was louder than the fire. I watched for proof that fireworks can happen in dreams, so I waited for the flames. I also waited for the flames and smoke to stop. And then I took the fire out with slowly-dripping water from the broken faucet. They say fire is the center of it all, but I don't want to forget about the contents of the glass. Not right now. The fire went out yet the smoke never stopped, I still see the smoke, still after 15 or so hours. At some point I should make a fire out of these wet sticks that resemble wood. The worst thing of all, it was decided tonight that rape should be a dinner-table conversation, but without anybody talking. Without anybody listening. It was decided that we should all remember everything. And just let the remembering sit by itself. Leave us alone with our memories of the worst case scenarios. And instead of wanting the glass, and everything inside, I'd rather crawl in, stay inside, and swallow the burning and the smoke that makes the contents disappear.

[foundsideoflost]

Henry Lee ✊🏽✊🏾