Long post ahead; My College Experience.
If you get to the end, thank you for reading this. If not, its cool. I just want to express this so I don’t forget how I feel in this moment.
As I am finishing up college (I graduate officially this week), I am overwhelmed with emotion. I am so happy that I am finally done! My degree is in education and I already have a job waiting for me in August. Although I am happy to be done, I am also scared SHITLESS. I mean, I was in college for FIVE YEARS. Being a student is all I know. And honestly, its what I enjoy. I am good at being a student and I love to learn. So I obviously have a lot of mixed emotions.
My first year of college was chaos. I failed my first college math course and I was also enrolled into a bio class that was WAY too advanced for a freshman (thank you flawless community college advisors). I went in thinking I wanted to get into pharmacy, and by my second semester, I was floating around, unsure of what I wanted at that point. I mean, I was pretty scared because I had NO CLUE what my future would be looking like. In addition to this, I felt overwhelmingly alone. I knew no one in my classes, my friends went to school on different days, and I didn’t make any new friends in community college. For the first time in my life, was walking alone to my classes, eating alone at lunch, sitting alone outside of class, drinking coffee, alone. Not only that, but I was in my first long term relationship which turned long distance. I was dumb and in love for the first time and I actually considered dropping out of college and just seeing where life took me with this guy. He ended up joining the army and leaving, and although we still stuck together, it was hard and a very difficult time for me, emotionally. I was unmotivated to work and honestly, pretty sad most of the time. Looking back, I am a little disappointed in myself for letting a boy get in the way of my ambition of finishing school.
Later on, I changed my major to anthropology after taking a life changing course where I learned about the evolution of humans. It was and still is the most fascinating subject me and I could go on for hours talking about the subject. I finally changed my major to teaching, which I obviously stuck with, specifically focused on English as a second language. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had stuck to Anthro as my major, if I had taken that risk. But I have found my passion in teaching and I could not be happier with it. By my third year I finally had some direction and I had something to look forward to. Btw, as a side note, this whole time, I had worked up to 3 jobs at a time to pay for my education. So I was also broke as fuck (still am tbh lol). So although I had financial stress, I at least had a more visible path of my future.
By my junior year, I had broken up with by previously mentioned boyfriend. It was very emotional and honestly not healthy during this time. I wont get into details because I don’t want to, but this was for the best for the both of us. I met a new man who I had fallen even harder for, who had helped me endlessly and selflessly during my last years of my education. I also was starting at a university, which I was so fucking excited to do. It had been my dream to go to an actual university during college. I was enrolled in 6 classes my first semester in addition to an internship, and it was fucking hard. Nevertheless, my university experience was truly unreal. I had a boyfriend who stuck by my side through thick and thin, no matter how shitty I was to him. No matter how stressed and emotional I was. No matter what rough patch we were going through. Not only this, but I MADE FRIENDS, guys. Like real friends. Sure my classes at a university were much more rigorous and stressful, but I had people going through the same shit as me and we could help each other through it. I finally wasn’t alone. Without the people I met at university, I don’t know if I would be graduating and typing out this experience of mine.
To summarize, I have learned so much being in college. I have developed weird traits and abilities, such as surviving on very little sleep, food, and money, swallowing my pride when necessary (still have a hard time with this), and being able to (shamelessly) sleep in public places and in uncomfortable environments. I’m pretty sure I slept every single day I rode the bus to and from my university, as well as countless times in the library and study rooms.
However, I have also gained good, useful habits, like typing bomb ass essays and professional emails, how to interview, not to be afraid to just ask questions, not be afraid to just admit that you need help, and in general, just being a fucking adult. My first years especially. I had to do so much shit on my own, and it sucked, but I am happy it happened. I have learned so much about myself, my limits, and my self worth. I have also had life changing experiences that I will never forget.
To my seniors about to graduate, we fucking did it. Be proud of yourself. I am a first generation graduate and this is one of my biggest, if not, my biggest accomplishment.
To my incoming college kids, be prepared for a wild ass ride, and most importantly, enjoy your years and have as much fun as you can. It will be over before you know it.
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