Unrepentant Pervert

Kentuckian. Unrepentant pervert and shit-disturber. Poet, vocalist & advocate. Bodybuilder, hiker & firespinner. Bourbon, pipe & cigar lover. Geek, bear & leatherman. Fair Warning: NSFW is my middle name.

[fetishbloke]

[aerond]

ClovedCopSF

[truenorthstrongfree]

“spider and I”

2018

[foxbear]

#douchey

#gymselfie

#thirsttrap

#hashtag

#dujour

[foxbear]

Hey, lookit! I ran into a @boatinrob at a pool party in Michigan!

[foxbear]

Okay, so I'm about to talk some extremely serious geek shit. Nerd shit. Dork shit. Don't expect to see this sort of thing from me out in public much. If you want in on this kind of content in the future, let me know and I'll advertise the sub-blog that I may create soon. Otherwise, you may want to skip this post and go on to other things in your feed.

...

I'm not kidding. Porny pictures, political news articles, and cat memes are calling your name. What's about to happen here is going to be some intense, deeply disturbing, card-flopping Magic: the Gathering dweebery, so if you're not into it, scroll away NOW. No, I'm fucking serious. RIGHT. THE FUCK. NOW.

You've been warned.

So...after pushing through most of a yesterday with a headache, I started to feel a bit better after dinner and was thinking about watching a movie to unwind. However, the huzbear, who is currently a sicko, was already in bed with meds in him, and I just didn't feel like sitting around watching a movie by myself. And so, I slipped on down to my LGS for the casual Commander night.

And that's where I got to play the best game of Commander that I've ever played, and I think maybe one of my favorite games of MTG ever, period.

I was playing Esper colors, with Zur, the Enchanter as my commander. At the table of four were the following:

1) A gent who was playing an aggressive combo deck with the new "Birthing Pod on-a-stick," Prime Speaker Vannifar. 2) A guy playing a 5-color pillow-fortish "politics" deck full of tricksy shit and enchantments. 3) A dude playing a mono-blue High-Tide-group-draw-mill-deck-out-Black-Vice-Lab-Maniac...thing. 4) And me, going last.

Play ran something along these lines:

Thanks to an interaction with another player's anti-token/counter enchantment that I had never seen before, the Combo Guy had infinite (or a finite but arbitrarily large) amount of green mana on turn 3. However, for his combo to completely go off, he needed one more blue mana and was hoping to draw it, since at that point, thanks to Mr. Blue, we were all drawing three cards a turn.

Our Pillow Friend continued to fluff up his fort, but kept leaving enough open to respond if needed. Mr. Blue stalled out the tempo a little with an Arcane Laboratory (players can only play one spell per turn) and managed to aggressively mill Combo Guy for about half his deck. I just sat there, essentially pretending to be looking at a terrible hand, but I was holding a Counterspell and a Deflection, just silently daring Combo Guy to hit me with what-the-fuck-ever he was going to do with all of that mana so I could shove it right the fuck back down his throat. Or at least tell him "Um, actually... How about we don't?"

A turn or two later, in response to some more Combo Guy shenanigans, I managed to Swords to Plowshares and Path to Exile two of his combo pieces simultaneously. Three more turns and he scooped in a huff rather than wait to get decked out. Which was fine by me. The jackass, bringing an aggressive combo deck to casual night. Infinite mana on turn three? Fuck that shit. Go play Modern or Legacy, jerk.

The three of us continued to play. Both my deck and the other pillow fort had a lot of dead cards since there were basically no creatures on the board to remove or stymie, but there was still some minor politicking going on since our WUBRG Pillow Friend had some tricksy-shit reanimator thing going on. It really was great because Mr. Blue was having a total blast because neither of our decks were offering him any threats and he just got to play all of his win-condition stuff. He had us fairly strangled with a Winter Orb and some other bullshit artifact that only let us untap two permanents each turn, and we were drawing 8-10 cards a turn. He was drawing about twice as many cards as we were.

I just sat there building the right hand. I had a shit-ton of blue mana because Mr. Blue was playing Extraplanar Lens and something else that made Islands produce extra. As we all were burning our libraries down--especially Mr.Blue--the tension was getting thicker because the pressure was on for that clutch move...and then he made it. Then after a flurry of counterspells from all three of us, I managed to Force of Will his expected Laboratory Maniac and then Braingeyser Pillow Friend for 10 on the turn before Mr. Blue decked himself.

Then, once Pillow Friend got a full untap, he played two or three things that I had never seen before that let him dig in his sideboard while I was content to smack him with my True Believer who I had under multiple layers of buffer-protection (otherwise enchanted, with Greater Auromancy out, plus a Curator's Ward on the Greater Auromancy). He thought he had me with a Leyline of the Void and Helm of Obedience, but I reminded him that the Helm has to target me, and I was sitting pretty under the True Believer's shroud.

He had some other reanimating strategy and said he thought he could kill me in another turn or two, but it was only couple of minutes before the store closed. I told him that I couldn't kill him fast, but that it would be a close call as to whether he decked out or I beat him down with the True Believer, 2 damage at a time (he was still 30 and I was at 39).

When the game store guys had to kick us out, Pillow Friend asked what I had in hand, and I showed him: two counterspells, a split-second targeted bounce, a mass bounce, two forced retargeting spells and a Disenchant. He conceded, so I'll call it a win.

The best part is that after Combo Guy left, the three of us basically spent about an hour and a half laughing at the hilarious interactions of our respective strategies and good-naturedly talking shit at each other. Oh, and the crowning snappy moment of geekery--complete with sexual innuendo, of course--for which I was unanimously awarded two extra life for good measure:

At one point, we each probably had about 30-40 cards in library and Pillow Friend had about 50 cards in his hand. After I cast a tutor, shuffled and he cut, Pillow Friend handed my library back to me and made some smart-assed comment about "Oh, I didn't realize we were playing Standard tonight!" *nyuk nyuk* Which of course opened the door for me to drop the line: "Damn, dude. Your hand's so big that it kinda makes my deck look small."

Everybody in the shop roared.

That's right, kids. I got to win at geeking last night. *bows, struts off stage*

[foxbear]

All I Really Want

Waiting for Thai food.

This is the sort of thing that happens when I get bored...

[wilwheaton]

I just want to belabor this point for a moment.

These images are not explicit. These pictures show two adults, engaging in consensual kissing. That’s it. It isn’t violent, it isn’t pornographic. It’s literally just two adult humans sharing a kiss.

It’s ludicrous and insulting that – especially in 2018 – this is flagged, either by some sort of badly-designed algorithm, or by shitty homophobic people.

And to just restate something that I reblogged a little bit ago:

the reality is that for a lot of the LGTBQ+ community, particularly younger members still discovering themselves and members in extremely homophobic environments where most media sites were banned (but Tumblr wasn’t even considered important enough to be), this was a bastion of information and self-expression.

I am so lucky. I am so massively lucky and privileged. I’m rich, I’m white, I’m a CIS male in a heterosexual relationship. I can look just about anywhere in the world and see myself represented in art and media. My experience has been normalized to the exclusion and oppression of people who don’t share that experience.

That. Must. Change.

I can only imagine what it must feel like to fight every second of ever day just to exist in a world that is filled with people who share my demographic (but not my values) using their wealth and power and privilege to attack you, simply for being who you are, for existing. I can only imagine how terrible and suffocating and exhausting that must be. 

According to marginalized and vulnerable people, this change in policy will directly hurt them, and that’s indefensible. 

The ridiculousness of this policy change can be simply illustrated by the image here being flagged. Why was it flagged? Because homophobia is rampant and too many people who should stand up against it are cowards who don’t want to risk their own wealth and privilege in the service of people who can’t defend themselves.

I applaud and admire and respect the hell out of everyone in the LGBTQ community here who have formed networks and friendships and relationships and support structures for each other. You have worked so hard to create and maintain a safe space for each other, and I’m embarrassed, appalled, and furious that people who look like me are making your lives – hell, your very existence – so hard. 

I’m just one person, and maybe it won’t matter or make a difference, but I stand with you, not just on this website, but in our entire universe. I see you. I love you. I value you. 

[foxbear]

^^^ALL.  THE.  THIS.^^^

[staff]

A better, more positive Tumblr

Since its founding in 2007, Tumblr has always been a place for wide open, creative self-expression at the heart of community and culture. To borrow from our founder David Karp, we’re proud to have inspired a generation of artists, writers, creators, curators, and crusaders to redefine our culture and to help empower individuality.

Over the past several months, and inspired by our storied past, we’ve given serious thought to who we want to be to our community moving forward and have been hard at work laying the foundation for a better Tumblr. We’ve realized that in order to continue to fulfill our promise and place in culture, especially as it evolves, we must change. Some of that change began with fostering more constructive dialogue among our community members. Today, we’re taking another step by no longer allowing adult content, including explicit sexual content and nudity (with some exceptions).  

Let’s first be unequivocal about something that should not be confused with today’s policy change: posting anything that is harmful to minors, including child pornography, is abhorrent and has no place in our community. We’ve always had and always will have a zero tolerance policy for this type of content. To this end, we continuously invest in the enforcement of this policy, including industry-standard machine monitoring, a growing team of human moderators, and user tools that make it easy to report abuse. We also closely partner with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and the Internet Watch Foundation, two invaluable organizations at the forefront of protecting our children from abuse, and through these partnerships we report violations of this policy to law enforcement authorities. We can never prevent all bad actors from attempting to abuse our platform, but we make it our highest priority to keep the community as safe as possible.

So what is changing?

Posts that contain adult content will no longer be allowed on Tumblr, and we’ve updated our Community Guidelines to reflect this policy change. We recognize Tumblr is also a place to speak freely about topics like art, sex positivity, your relationships, your sexuality, and your personal journey. We want to make sure that we continue to foster this type of diversity of expression in the community, so our new policy strives to strike a balance.

Why are we doing this?

It is our continued, humble aspiration that Tumblr be a safe place for creative expression, self-discovery, and a deep sense of community. As Tumblr continues to grow and evolve, and our understanding of our impact on our world becomes clearer, we have a responsibility to consider that impact across different age groups, demographics, cultures, and mindsets. We spent considerable time weighing the pros and cons of expression in the community that includes adult content. In doing so, it became clear that without this content we have the opportunity to create a place where more people feel comfortable expressing themselves.

Bottom line: There are no shortage of sites on the internet that feature adult content. We will leave it to them and focus our efforts on creating the most welcoming environment possible for our community.

So what’s next?

Starting December 17, 2018, we will begin enforcing this new policy. Community members with content that is no longer permitted on Tumblr will get a heads up from us in advance and steps they can take to appeal or preserve their content outside the community if they so choose. All changes won’t happen overnight as something of this complexity takes time.

Another thing, filtering this type of content versus say, a political protest with nudity or the statue of David, is not simple at scale. We’re relying on automated tools to identify adult content and humans to help train and keep our systems in check. We know there will be mistakes, but we’ve done our best to create and enforce a policy that acknowledges the breadth of expression we see in the community.

Most importantly, we’re going to be as transparent as possible with you about the decisions we’re making and resources available to you, including more detailed information, product enhancements, and more content moderators to interface directly with the community and content.

Like you, we love Tumblr and what it’s come to mean for millions of people around the world. Our actions are out of love and hope for our community. We won’t always get this right, especially in the beginning, but we are determined to make your experience a positive one.

Jeff D’Onofrio CEO

[foxbear]

Welp.  That’ll be that, then.  You just killed your website.  Congratulations and kiss those advertising dollars goodbye, motherfuckers.

Have we decided on where we’re migrating to?  What’s available that’s not going to go the censorship route while trying to dress it up as “striking a balance” and creating “a place where more people feel comfortable expressing themselves.”

Oh, and of course it’s on ME to go back and “clean up” my own fucking blog with scarcely two weeks’ notice, or just have a bot scan and spot-nuke it without my input. 

FUCK YOU, AIR-FRESHENER VAMPIRES!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DDdM66_nSI  

[foxbear]

STARS AND STONES!!

WARNING: SEVERE GEEKINESS AHEAD So, I've been through Jim Butcher’s Harry Dresden books (at least up to Changes) about a dozen times or so.  However, I caught something this trip through Fool Moon that I hadn't really stopped on before... (Also, FUCKING SPOILERS for this series, especially from Ghost Story on.  Consider yourselves warned.) When Harry is in the car with Susan and Tera West after Harley MacFinn went wolfy up in the holding cells down from Special Investigations, he falls unconscious and meets his internal, primal, instinctual, id-driven, subconscious "evil twin" for the first time.  You remember.  He's wearing the leather duster and has the beard and is all "I-can't-do-the-banter-thing, but I-could-get-us-laid-a-lot-more," and so on and so forth. Well, in the midst of that conversation, as Harry is moaning about how tired he is and doesn't want to deal with shit and goes to leave the circle of light, Subconscious Harry steps in front of him, blocks his path and drops this line: "It isn't that simple, Harry.  No matter where you go, there you are."    Flash a dozen books forward to Ghost Story.  Harry has solved the mystery of his own murder and is having a conversation with Uriel after seeing Maggie and Mouse.  He's arguing with the Archangel about “balancing the scales” and is getting stonewalled pretty hardcore. Harry finally asks Uriel to tell him “something useful" and he'll be happy with whatever he gets.  Uriel thinks for a moment and then drops the line: "No matter where you go, there you are." They blather on about it being Buckaroo Bonzai and/or Confucius, but that's neither here nor there. This is something that Harry already knows, so it's not new information.  However, what's new is that Harry is being told by the sneakiest fucking entity in the Dresdenverse this side of Mab, one who cannot lie any more than the Queen of Air and Darkness herself, that that particular statement is USEFUL.  And it's right after Harry has accusingly poked at Uriel's double-speak "maybe" evasions as being a cover for "trying to hit two birds with one stone," (ie. risk sending Harry back in just his naked soul to work out the balance of things with Molly, but also for some other as yet-unrevealed purpose). So.my question for you lovely geeks is this: am I just imagining things here, or is Jim telegraphing the kick?  What possible usefulness might that line have as we watch shit continue to drift further and further sideways for Harry and the rest of the gang?       And, yes.  Insomnia makes me notice and think about weird shit.  You’ll get over it.

---Your Friendly Neighborhood Geeky-Ass FoxBear

[foxbear]

Who’s Been Naughty?!!

My life is fairly full, and I am very fortunate. There's very little that I actually *need* that I don't already have.

That being said, I still *want* things, and so for the people who have asked me for a Christmas list (and for the curious), I have begun a patently self-indulgent Amazon list for the holiday. I may continue to add things as the season goes on, and maybe not...but, for those interested, here ya go...

Link: http://a.co/fmdCRv0

Happy Monday, folks!

---Your Friendly Neighborhood Santa FoxBear

[foxbear]

Excellent cigar weather.

[foxbear]

Bar lighting makes everybody look better.

[foxbear]

After commenting on a post by my buddy Paul about watersports this morning, I decided to rock out and flag on the sly at work today. Boots reformed and rehomed to me, courtesy of an excellent bootblack, Boi. Are ya thirsty, my friends? Ready for a Wet Wednesday? 😈😜 #stealthperv [EDIT: Also, because I was asked about context, I'll repost the relevant part of Paul's question and my answer. Him: "When you drink from the tap is the headspace more about doing it or who you are doing it with?" Me: "Both, but not so much like what most folks are describing here. For me, almost any piss scene that I'm drinking or wearing in is a very mutual, reciprocal, fraternal experience. It's about sharing, commingling, and marking ourselves as belonging to each other in a territorial sort of way."]

[bear-hairy]

[foxbear]

Living Your Best Bulge

It's actually a couple of things: 1. Yes, I'm decently hung.  Not massive porn-star donkey-dick hung, but I'll put it this way: I'm proportional.  I'm generally a bit bigger than average all over, including cock and balls.  BUT, that's not the most important thing as far as bulges go. 2. I wear a lot of clothes that flatter and produce a pronounced bulge.  That includes the underwear I choose, the singlets I wear to the gym, as well as the shorts and pants that I wear over them. As far as underwear and jockstraps and singlets go, the most important thing is that they isolate my junk from my thighs.  For me, it's more than fashion, as I have chronic epididymitis and can't handle even fairly mild trauma to my nuts.  I have thick legs and balls that hang fairly low, and so that means that I have to wear stuff that provides enough lift, both up and slightly forward, to prevent me from sitting on my balls or crushing them between my thighs.  The best brands that I've found for such, given how my body is shaped: Cocksox, UFM, Stageman, N2N Bodywear.  I’m sure there are others, and others that work well for body shapes that are different than mine. As far as outerwear goes, they tend to be cut closer on my thighs to prevent backward slippage, higher in the rise to aid in the lift and prevent swing, and either tighter and stretchy in the pouch or with the right amount of room and shape for me to fill out well.  3. I know how to photograph myself.  I've got a lot of practice at finding the right positions, lighting and angles that highlight and showcase what I've got.  I generally don't fluff myself up, except in those cases where I'm actually trying to show VPL through the clothes, which isn't that often.  Like you, I'm a grower, and my "proportional-ness" often leads to people underestimating how big my junk actually is, but if they're actually getting an in-person view, I usually don't mind showing them.  It tends to be a fun surprise.  *evil grin* Anyhow, I hope that sufficiently answers your question and maybe gives you a few tips on how to best advertise what you’re packin’.  Cheers, bub! ---Your Friendly Neighborhood FoxBear    

[foxbear]

Them: “Hey, you're a big guy. Will you be the 'cop' for our Kentucky Innocence Project CSI day? We have a plastic badge and some toy handcuffs you can use...” Me: “Ladies, please.”

No, I'm not a cop. But sometimes I play one during crime scene investigations...

#takeyourfetishtoworkday