Destiel:Ā āBecause it was him, because it was me.ā
TFW + Japanese
Sam and Lucifer +Ā āEpithalamiumā by Louise GlĆ¼ck
Sam +Ā ā(Donāt Fear) The Reaperā
Favorite Episode: Hell House
Favorite Sam and Dean Moments
Bloody Mary Sam
The Voicemail
Type: Fics
tag: #foxfics
Supernatural Fics
tag: #spn fanfic
(Sam, gen) -Ā PrayersĀ - 1000 words - Despite his familyās beliefs, Sam has always been religious.
(Sam and Dean, gen) -Ā How Many Hunters Does It Take to Exorcize a Demon? - 600 words - Dean forgot the words to the exorcism spell. Sam canāt speak. They work with what theyāve got. [Mute!Sam series]
(Weechesters, gen) - Voiceless - 1,300 words - Young Sam looks for a way to communicate after permanently losing his voice. [Mute!Sam series]
(Weechesters, gen) - Little Brother - 1,000 words - Dean finds out his sister Sam is a guy. He doesnāt get it, but heās going to try.
(Sam x Cas) -Ā Comfort - 800 words - Sam has a nightmare, and Cas comforts him.
(Sam x Cas) -Ā Castiel, My Guardian Dear - 6,600 words - Sam meets his brotherās angel Castiel and feels an immediate, soul-deep connection that he canāt explain.
(Sam x Dean) -Ā Goodbye - 900 words - Sam leaves for good after the Stanford argument with his dad. Dean canāt stop him from leaving - he can only say goodbye.
(Sam x Kevin)Ā Caretaker - 3000 words - Sam takes care of Kevin while heās sick. Kevin accidentally reveals his crush.
(Dean x Reader) -Ā Safe - 250 words - āImagine having a nightmare and Dean holding you until you fall back asleep.ā
My Hero Academia Fics
tag: #bnha fic
(Midoriya x Bakugo) - Apology - 3,000 words - Katsuki has fallen in love, but he knows no apology is enough to fix the past.
(Midoriya x Bakugo) - Photographs - 3,900 wordsĀ - Eight pictures showing Katsukiās evolving relationship with Izuku.
(Midoriya x Bakugo) - Let me tell you that I love you - 3,400 wordsĀ -Ā
Witcher Fics
tag: #ficlet on @gwentmaster-geralt
(Geralt x Jaskier | Dandelion) - stay - 700 words - Geralt patches up Dandelion.
(Geralt x Jaskier | Dandelion) - elixir - 700 words - Geralt doesn't want Jaskier to see him under his elixir's effects.
(Geralt x Jaskier | Dandelion) - soothed - 350 words - Dandelion watches over wounded Geralt.
(Geralt x Jaskier | Dandelion) - gift - 650 words - Dandelion writes a song for Geralt.
(Geralt x Jaskier | Dandelion) - warmth - 500 words - Jaskier and Geralt cuddle in Brokilon.
(Geralt x Jaskier | Dandelion) - emotions - 1000 words - The bard following Geralt has questions about witchers' emotions.
(Geralt x Jaskier | Dandelion) - safety - 800 words - Geralt comforts Dandelion after a nightmare.
(Geralt x Jaskier | Dandelion) - grief - 1300 words - Dandelion watches Geralt die.
(Geralt x Jaskier | Dandelion) - toussaint - 500 words - Geralt confesses his feelings after Dandelion decides to stay in Toussaint.
(Jaskier | Dandelion x Yennefer) something familiar - 1100 words - Yennefer is on the run, and she's relieved to see someone she knows: Jaskier.
Event: Whumptober 2020Ā
Oct 1 ā Oct 31, 2020
prompt list | tag: #whumptober2020 | masterlist
Waking Up Restrained (12.01 | Keep Calm and Carry On)
Kidnapped (12.01 | Keep Calm and Carry On)
My Way or the Highway (2.19 | Folsom Prison Blues)
Caged (1.15 | The Benders)
Failed Escape (12.01 | Keep Calm and Carry On)
Pleaseā¦ (3.11 | Mystery Spot)
Iāve Got You (8.23 | Sacrifice)
Isolation (7.23 | Survival of the Fittest)
āTake Me Insteadā (4.09 | I Know What You Did Last Summer)
Blood Loss (4.19 | Jump the Shark)
Crying (2.17 | Heart)
Broken Trust (5.02 | Good God, Yāall)
Breathe In Breathe Out (11.20 | Donāt Call Me Shurley)
Fire (1.01 | Pilot)
Possession (2.14 | Born Under a Bad Sign)
Hallucinations (5.11 | Sam, Interrupted)
Dirty Secret (4.20 | The Rapture)
Phobias (7.02 | Hello, Cruel World)
Broken Hearts (2.01 | In My Time of Dying)
Field Medicine (11.17 | Red Meat)
Infection (11.02 | Form and Void)
Withdrawal (4.21 | When the Levee Breaks)
Sleep Deprivation (7.17 | The Born-Again Identity)
Sensory Deprivation (12.09 | First-Born)
I Think Iāll Just Collapse Right Here, Thanks (8.21 | The Escapist)
Migraine (1.14 | Nightmare)
Extreme Weather (3.06 | Red Sky at Morning)
Hunting Season (6.22 | The Man Who Knew Too Much)
I Think I Need a Doctor (7.02 | Hello, Cruel World)
Ignoring an (Internal Organ) Injury (8.16 | Remember the Titans)
Summary: Katsuki comes back to the dorms drunk. When Izuku helps him get to bed, Katsuki reveals a lot more than he intended to.
Fandom: My Hero Academia
Pairing: Katsuki Bakugo/Izuku Midoriya
Characters:Ā Katsuki Bakugo, Izuku Midoriya, Bakusquad
Word Count: 3,400
Rating: T
AO3: Link
Other tags: postāDeku vs Kacchan 2, drunken confessions, first kiss
Notes: Beta-read by @thequirkygirlnextdoor, thank you !
Excerpt:
āAnd you know what else about you I canāt stand? Youāre so nice all the time. Whatās with that? You donāt even try and everyone falls in love with you. I hate that about you, Deku.ā
āI know.ā
āI always thought everyone else was so fucking dumb for it, but looks like I wasnāt so different from them after all.ā
āKacchanā¦ā Izukuās voice was very quiet. āWhat are you saying?ā
Fic:
1. Drunk
When Kirishima woke him up at two in the morning, Izuku really wasnāt expecting to hear that a few of their classmates had snuck out to a party and Katsuki had come back completely wasted.
āHeās actually a total lightweight,ā Kirishima told Izuku as they walked down the stairs to the common room. āHe had like, three drinks and now heās a mess.ā
āHowād you get him to drink? Thatās so unlike him.ā
āEasy. We just told him he couldnāt outdrink us and he had to prove us wrong.ā Kirishima smiled, flashing his sharp teeth.
Izuku sighed. āSo why did you wake me up at two in the morning for this?ā
āHe asked for you as soon as we got back.ā
Izuku stopped in his tracks.Ā āMe? Why?ā
āI donāt know. We tried to get him to drink some water and go to bed but he wouldnāt stop asking for you.ā
āOh,ā Izuku said, continuing to walk again.
Why would Katsuki be asking for him? It wasnāt too long after their second fight at Ground Beta. Maybe Katsuki wanted to make some sort of point? Maybe his drunken self wanted to get into another fight? Or maybe since their relationship had shifted, he just felt more comfortable being vulnerable in front of Izuku rather than others?Ā
Right, like that would ever happen.
āMidoriya,ā Kirishima said, interrupting his thoughts. āYouāre muttering again.ā
āOh, sorry.ā
They reached the common room, where Katsuki was sitting on the couch with his arms crossed and Ashido, Sero, and Kaminari in a half circle around him. It seemed they were trying, with no success, to cajole Katsuki into drinking a cup of water.
āKacchan?ā Izuku said.
Katsuki turned around. The corner of his mouth turned up when he met Izukuās eyes. āTook you damn long enough, nerd.ā
āYou asked for me?ā
āYeah. I have to tell you something.ā
āTell me what?ā
āI donāt remember.ā
āOkay. Maybe itāll come back to you. Letās get you to bed, Kacchan.ā
Katsuki stood up from his spot on the couch and stumbled over to Izuku.
āSeriously?ā Sero said. āHe wonāt listen to us telling him to go to bed for ten minutes but you get him to go in ten seconds? I thought he didnāt like you!ā
āI donāt,ā Katsuki snapped. āI just dislike you more.ā
āOuch,ā Kaminari said. āCāmon, man.ā
āLetās go,ā Izuku said. Katsuki looked like heād wander off in the wrong direction without guidance, so Izuku took his hand to pull him towards the stairs. Izuku was surprised Katsuki didnāt pull his hand away immediately; instead, he gripped Izukuās hand in his and followed him without a word. Izuku ignored the butterflies fluttering in his stomach from the touch.Ā
āWhat is happening?ā Kaminari whispered to Ashido, eyeing their held hands.
āNo one is going to believe us in the morning,ā Sero muttered.
Katsuki flipped them off on their way out of the room.
āHey, Kacchan,ā Izuku said as he guided Katsuki up through the stairwell. āYou really donāt need to drink just because someone challenges you to, you know.ā
āI had to show them I could win.ā
āBut you didnāt win.ā
Katsuki pulled his hand out of Izukuās and glared at him. āFuck you. I was having an off day. Next time, Iāll outdrink them for sure.ā
āMaybe you should focus on keeping a winning sober streak instead. I had my last drink fourteen days agoāāan accident, when he hadnāt noticed the alcohol warning on the can, and Uraraka and Iida had had to spend ten minutes calming him down after he realizedāāand itās been zero days for you. So it looks like Iām winning at being sober the longest.ā
āYeah? Well, Iām gonna be sober for the rest of my goddamn life. Think you can beat that, nerd?ā
āIāll try my best,ā Izuku said. āAnd you know I donāt give up easily.ā
Katsuki seemed content with the answer, so Izuku took his hand again and led him up the rest of the stairs to Katsukiās room.
āHow are you feeling?ā Izuku asked Katsuki as he helped lead him into his room.
āFucking great. I feel like Iām the best. Number freaking one.ā
āYou always feel like that.ā
āTch. Of course your dumb ass would think that. You donāt see how things have changed?ā
Izuku wasnāt quite sure how to respond to that. Sure, things had shifted after their second fight at Ground Beta, but Izuku never thought Katsukiās confidence in himself would waver.Ā
Katsuki swayed on his feet, which immediately pulled Izuku from his thoughts.
āHey,ā Izuku said, reassuring. āSit down here, okay?ā
āDonāt tell me what to do,ā Katsuki said, but he was unsteady enough that it didnāt take much for Izuku to push him into a seated position on the bed.
Izuku set about making Katsuki ready for bed. He set a trash can next to Katsukiās feet in case he had to throw up. He filled up a glass with water and set it down on the nightstand. He tugged off Katsukiās shoes and put them by the door.
Izuku had just grabbed one of the post-workout electrolyte drinks that Katsuki kept around when he heard Katsuki throw up.
āAw, Kacchan,ā Izuku said. He sat next to Katsuki on the bed and rubbed his back as he continued to retch into the bin.Ā
āKnock itā¦ā Katsuki said, voice hoarse and strained, āKnock it off.ā
āNo.ā
āAsshole.ā
It took a few minutes for Katsuki to stop vomiting. When he had apparently decided nothing else was going to come up, he flopped back on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling with eyes damp and breath heavy from the effort of throwing up.
āWait, Kacchan, not yet, drink this.ā
āI told you not to tell me what to do,ā Katsuki muttered.
Izuku forced Katsuki up into a seated position and passed him the bottle. āNumber one heroes keep themselves hydrated so they arenāt too hungover to train in the morning.ā
Katsuki groaned and took the bottle from Izuku before chugging the entire thing down.
āHappy?ā he asked, tossing the empty bottle at Izuku. It hit Izukuās forehead and then bounced to the floor.Ā
āYeah.ā
Katsuki stretched out on the bed and yawned.
āLooks like youāre okay,ā Izuku said. āIāll let you get some sleep.ā
But as he turned to leave, Katsuki caught his wrist. āStay, Deku.ā
āWhat? Did you remember what you wanted to tell me?ā
āYeah.ā
āOkay,ā Izuku said hesitantly. He sat back down on the bed. āSo, what is it?ā
Katsuki looked up at Izuku with thoughtful, relaxed eyes. Izuku smiled just a little bit. Katsuki was kind of pretty when he wasnāt angry.
āI wanted to tell you that youāre intolerable,ā Katsuki finally said.
āWhat?ā Izuku said, shocked out of his admiration. āKacchan?ā
āYeah. You know what I really canāt stand about you?ā Katsuki said.
āProbably a lot of things,ā Izuku said. It was two in the morning and he wasnāt sure he wanted to get into a list of grievances right now, but Katsuki had asked him to stay, so heād stay for now.
āI canāt stand these fucking freckles.ā Katsuki reached out and brushed a thumb across the freckles on Izukuās cheek.Ā
Not quite what Izuku had expected. His eyes were wide as he rested a hand on top of Katsukiās. He couldnāt remember the last time Katsuki had touched him gently like this. Not since they were little kids. Or maybe not even then.
āThereās more than the fucking stars in the sky. And I want to find the constellations in them, but youāre always so goddamn far away.ā His speech was still slurred, but the words were running together in a way that was less messy and drunk, and more gentle and sleepy. A warmth settled in Izukuās core. Katsuki seemed calm now, his eyes idly running over the freckles on Izukuās cheeks. After a moment he dropped his hand and met Izukuās eyes again.
āAnd you know what else I canāt stand? Youāre so nice all the time. Whatās with that? You donāt even try and everyone falls in love with you. I hate that about you, Deku.ā
āI know.ā
āI always thought everyone else was so fucking dumb for it, but looks like I wasnāt so different from them after all.ā
āKacchanā¦ā Izukuās voice was very quiet. āWhat are you saying?ā
He knew he should get Katsuki to stop, to shut up and fall asleep so he wouldnāt say anything heād regret in the morning. But Izuku needed to know. Katsuki was holding on to something important, and if Izuku didnāt find out now, he probably never would.
Katsuki smiled, just slightly, just a little bit sad. āIām saying I donāt want to feel like this. Because you know what the worst part about you is?ā Katsuki picked up Izukuās right hand. āThis hand. Look at it. Itās so fucked up. Youāve got all these scars and these weird crooked fingers.ā
Izuku was silent as Katsuki turned his hand over and traced a finger over the scar across it.
āWho just goes and fucks themselves up the way you do? Youāre such a stupid asshole. Learn your limits and stop pushing past them. Stop saying youāre fine when youāre not.ā
Izuku hadnāt even noticed he was crying until he felt Katsuki reach up and wipe away his tears.
āThat's why I canāt say anything to you. I need to keep you at armās length.Ā Youāre gonna get your dumb ass killed because of some stupid self-sacrificial bullshit, and I donāt want to be destroyed too.ā
āKacchanā¦ā¦.ā The tears were falling faster now, and Izuku squeezed his eyes shut and grit his teeth in a futile attempt to stop them. Heād had no idea Katsuki felt like this. Izuku thought he hadnāt cared, that he was just helping him and All Might to develop One For All because he felt a responsibility to do so.
And the comment about his frecklesā¦ That was almost romantic. Was there really something there? Or was Izuku reading too much into things?
āDumb nerd,ā Katsuki said. āPromise me youāll do better.ā
āB-better?ā
āPromise me youāll look out for yourself. Saving people means saving yourself, you know.ā
āYeah, Kacchan, Iā¦ Yeah, Iāll look out for myself. Iām sorry. Iām sorry I made you worry.ā
āYou fucking should be,ā Katsuki said, closing his eyes. āYouāve always been such a goddamn nightmare.ā
Before Izuku could think of a response, Katsukiās breathing had gone steady.
āKacchan?ā
No response. He was asleep.Ā
Well, that was it, then. Izuku stood up and walked to the door. He turned back to look at Katsuki once more. He should go, butā¦ Katsuki had asked him to stay, hadnāt he? Heād told Izuku all those things. The least Izuku could do was not sneak out in the middle of the night.
He took a blanket from the end of the bed and draped it over Katsuki, and then sat next to the bed with his knees pulled up close to his chest. Izuku was pretty sure he wasnāt going to get any sleep tonight. He had too much to think about.
2. Hungover
Izuku felt like heād just closed his eyes when he woke up to the sound of Katsuki throwing up in the trash bin again. He blinked tiredly and yawned, and then looked up at Katsuki.
Katsuki looked terrible. Pale, almost greenish complexion; tired, bloodshot eyes; wrinkled clothes. Izuku didnāt need to ask to know that a hangover headache accompanied that particular look.
āKacchan? How are you feeling?ā
āWhat do you think? Like shit, dumbass,ā Katsuki said, voice hoarse. āWhat are you doing in my room?ā
āI wanted to make sure you didnāt need anything during the night. You were really wasted.ā
Katsuki grabbed the cup of water from the nightstand and took a long drink.Ā
āWhatever, nerd. You wanna fill me in on what happened last night?ā
Izuku hesitated. āWellā¦ What do you remember?ā Izuku wasnāt even sure how to approach the subject. If Katsuki had forgotten, wouldnāt it be best to just drop it and never mention it again? Or did Katsuki deserve to know what heād revealed while he was drunk?
Katsuki furrowed his brow, thinking. āI had a few drinks, and then came back to the dormsā¦ā
āWhat else?ā
āYou were in my roomā¦ā Katsuki said. There was a flash of vulnerability quickly covered up with anger. āI bet you loved seeing me like that, huh? A totally helpless idiot that you could feel all superior to?ā
āHuh?ā Katsuki had voiced a similar concern at Ground Beta, but Izuku had thought theyād worked past that. Apparently not. āNo, you were drunk, so I brought you to your room and helped you go to bed. Thatās it.ā
Katsuki scowled and crossed his arms.Ā
Izuku hesitated and said, āYou did, uh, tell me some things.ā
āWhat did I say?ā Katsuki asked, narrowing his eyes. When he saw the uneasy expression on Izukuās face, he clenched his jaw, hard. āShit. Tell me what I said. Exactly what I said.ā
āYou saidā¦ You said that you cared about me, but that you wished you didnāt because I donāt take myself into account.ā
Katsuki scowled, his eyes flicking away.
āThere was something else you said, too. Kacchanā¦ Do youā¦ like me? Uh, as something more, I mean?ā
Katsukiās tired eyes flew back over to meet Izukuās. āWhy the fuck does it matter to you, nerd? Looking for something to hold over me?ā
āNo, Kacchan, Iāā I like you too!
āYou want some gossip to share with your friends, is that it?ā
āNo, Iāā I like you too!
āGet the hell out of my room.ā Katsuki stood up, swaying on his feet a little before he grabbed Izukuās arm and yanked him to his feet. āOut.ā
āWait, Iāā Let me tell you that I like you too!
āGo. And if you tell anyone about any of this, Iāll fucking end you.ā
Katsuki opened the door and shoved Izuku out, slamming the door shut behind him.
Izuku let out a long breath. How was he supposed to tell Katsuki how he felt if Katsuki wouldnāt let him?
3: Sober
Katsuki did an impressive job at avoiding Izuku for the rest of the weekend, always finding an excuse to leave the room any time Izuku entered and ignoring Izukuās knocks on his door.
Izuku knew Katsukiās routine, though, so Monday morning he woke up early to wait by the front door for Katsuki to come back from his 4am run.Ā
Katsuki pushed open the door a little before 5am. He was breathing hard and his skin glistened with sweat, and even in Izukuās state of anxiety, he couldnāt help but stare. Hot and sweaty was a good look on Kacchan.
Katsuki froze when he saw Izuku, and Izuku quickly pulled his focus back to the conversation they needed to have.
āKacchanāā Izuku started, but Katsuki was already striding past him towards the stairs. Izuku grabbed his arm. āKacchan, stop. We need to talk.ā
āI donāt want to talk,ā Katsuki said, pulling his arm out of Izukuās grasp.
āBut the other dayāā
āI was just starting to be able to tolerate you, but then you went and fucked it up by asking that question. Whatās wrong with you?ā
āJust let me talk!ā Izuku snapped. āMaybe if youād let me talk in the first place, you wouldnāt have had to spend all weekend being so dramatic!ā
Katsuki narrowed his eyes, but didnāt say anything.
āYou opened up to me, and I didnāt do the same for you, and Iām sorry. Iām sorry I made you feel like I was just trying to get something to hold over you.ā
Katsuki was silent, his whole body tense but his face betraying no emotion.
āIt doesnāt really matter if you like me or not, but you deserve to know, at leastā¦ I like you, Kacchan. I have for a long time. Thatās why I asked how you felt. Youāve always been out of reach, but I thought, maybeā¦ā
Katsuki frowned. āWhy the hell would you like me like that?ā
āBecause youāre amazing! I keep telling you, why wonāt you listen?ā
āI treated you like shit.ā
āYou know itās always been more complicated than that.ā
āThis is what I meant when I said you never take yourself into account. Just let it go, moron.ā
Izukuās eyes filled with frustrated tears. āI donāt understand. I tell you I like you and you respond by telling me I never think about myself? Canāt you just tell me how you feel?ā
When he saw Izukuās tears and heard his words, Katsukiās guarded expression cracked, showing something more gentle underneath. He took a deep breath, and the tension seemed to melt from his body.
āFrom what you told me about last nightā¦ I already did. Itās not my fault youāre too fucking stupid to connect the dots.ā
āI want to hear you say it.ā
Katsuki let out a frustrated huff, but he took Izukuās hand in his. He took a step closer, bringing his face within inches of Izukuās.Ā
āHow many times do I have to tell you not to tell me what to do?ā he said softly. He closed the last few inches and kissed Izuku.
Izuku had thought about this moment a lot. Heād spent a lot of time staring, as inconspicuously as he could, at Katsukiās lips. Heād spent a lot of nights up late, wondering what it would be like. How it would feel.
It felt as good as he thought it would. Underneath the scent of sweat and smoke, there was something that was distinctly Kacchan, a familiar, comforting scent Izuku had known his whole life. All the thoughts disappeared from his brain as he savored the feeling of Katsukiās lips against his and the heat of their bodies so close together.Ā
But doubt started creeping in after just a moment. What was Katsuki thinking? Had he ever thought about kissing Izuku before? Was he disappointed? Did he wish he could take it back? Maybe heā
Izuku didnāt realize how tense he was until Katsuki pulled back and met his eyes, gentle concern in them. āYou donāt want this?ā
āPlease,ā Izuku said. His mouth was dry and the word barely came out, so he swallowed and tried again. āPlease donāt stop.ā
The corner of Katsukiās mouth turned up in a smirk. āThought so. Stop overthinking it, nerd.ā Katsuki kissed him again, but it wasnāt long before Izukuās mind started wandering again - should he be doing something with his hands? How long did kisses usually last? Should heā
Stop overthinking it, he reminded himself. He relaxed his body and melted into the kiss. It was messy but gentle, Katsuki leading and Izuku following, for now. Izuku absently noted the feeling of Katsukiās hands coming up to cup his face, the movement of his own arms wrapping around Katsukiās sweat-damp waist, pulling him closer because as close as they were, it didnāt feel close enough.
They finally broke apart, both of them breathing hard.
Izuku was so happy, down to the core, his whole body tingling with the delight of being so wrapped up in Katsuki.
But a cold sense of anxiety descended on him within a few moments. āThis means something, doesnāt it?ā He couldnāt bear the thought of experiencing this and then going back to how things were.
āYouāre so stupid.ā
Izukuās lower lip trembled.
āYes, okay? It means something.ā Katsuki leaned his forehead against Izukuās. āI like you, you like me. Letās see where it goes.ā
Tears spilled over, streaming down Izukuās face.
āWhat the hell are you crying for?ā Katsuki said, stepping back to take Izukuās face in his hands and wiping away the tears with his thumbs.
āIām so happy.ā
āYouāre so pathetic. Come here.ā Katsuki pulled Izuku into a hug and rested his chin on top of Izukuās head.
Izuku buried his head in Katsukiās shoulder, holding onto Katsuki like he was the only thing keeping Izuku grounded.
āIām so happy,ā Izuku murmured again.
āI am too, nerd,ā he heard Katsuki mutter back.
* * *
Note: I got two parts of Katsukiās drunken speech from 319 (āHe doesn't take himself into account. He always just insists heās fine.ā) and 284 (āHe justā¦ deep down, he doesn't take himself into account, y'know? ā¦ It makes me want to keep him at arm's length.ā).
Summary: Eight photographs over the years of Katsuki and Izuku, and Katsuki's reactions to them, showing the evolution of their friendship: The first four he destroys. The fifth triggers a revelation. The sixth marks a change. The seventh forces him to reveal the truth. The eighth is something special.
Fandom: My Hero Academia
Pairing: Katsuki Bakugo/Izuku Midoriya
Characters:Ā Katsuki Bakugo, Izuku Midoriya, some Eijirou Kirishima, a little Mitsuki Bakugo
Word Count: 3,900
Rating: T
AO3: Link
Other tags: BNHA #306-322 spoilers, pining bakugo, happy ending
Excerpt:
āItās us,ā Izuku said, looking at the framed photo on Katsuki's nightstand.
āObviously, dumbass.ā
āWhy?ā
āāWhyā?ā Katsuki huffed out a laugh and met Izukuās eyes. No point in being anything but honest. āBecause I like looking at you.ā
Izuku hesitated, and then asked again, āWhy?ā
āBecause youāre fucking cute, okay?ā
āIāmā¦ what? Why?ā
āYou really havenāt figured it out yet?ā
āAre you making fun of me?ā Izuku said, narrowing his eyes.
Katsuki wished thatās all it was. He took a deep breath and admitted what heād been holding in for years. āJesus. Iām in love with you, asshole.ā
Fic:
āSmile!ā Izukuās mom said, snapping a picture of Katsuki and Izuku where they were all at the park.
Izuku had a huge grin and was holding up a peace sign with his fingers. Katsuki had his arms crossed and was scowling. Why he had to pose for this stupid picture was beyond him, but his mom had insisted he behave, so he would try to hold still for five seconds so Izukuās mom could get her dumb photo.
Once the Polaroid had printed and dried, Izukuās mom gave it to Katsukiās mom to keep.
āThis is cute,ā Katsukiās mom said, holding the picture in one hand and ruffling Katsukiās hair with the other. He let out an audible growl. The disrespect of this woman. āI hope they stay friends forever. Maybe this little gremlin could learn some manners from your kid.ā
āLetās go,ā Katsuki said, turning and storming off. Without even looking, his mom grabbed him by the ear. āHey! Let go!ā
āIt was nice seeing you again, Inko,ā Katsukiās mom said, ignoring Katsuki struggling to get away from her grasp.
āYou as well! Come by some time, all right?ā
When they got home, Katsukiās mom pinned up the photo high on the fridge, out of Katsukiās reach.
āTake it down,ā Katsuki said, arms crossed.The careless grin on Dekuās face, like he was somehow better than everyone elseā¦ Katsuki couldnāt stand the thought of seeing it every day.
āNo, I like it.ā
āItās cute,ā Katsukiās dad chipped in.
Katsuki jumped to take down the picture but still couldnāt reach it.
āCome on, kid, we have so few pictures of you with your friends. Let us keep this one.ā
āHmph,ā Katsuki grunted before storming off.
It took him three days of various techniques of jumping, climbing, throwing things, and moving furniture to take down the picture. He ripped it up over the trash. Good. Thank god it was gone.
Primary School
One of the stupid teachers in their primary school had been taking pictures of the class all year and handed some out to the students at the end of the year.
āThis is you showing off your quirk to your friends!ā His teacher said, passing him the photograph. In it, Katsuki was setting off small explosions in his hand as his small group of friends crowded around him. Deku included, standing at the edge with a look of awe on his stupid face.
Katsuki looked up at Deku, who was receiving his photograph from the teacher. Just him, working on a piece of art, alone like the pathetic loser he was. Katsuki thought the photo really did nothing but emphasize his lack of popularity. But Deku still accepted it enthusiastically from their teacher with repeated thanks.
Katsuki crumpled his picture in his hand and set of an explosion within his fist. As every person in the room turned to look at the source of the noise, he let the charred ashes of the photograph fall to the ground. He wasnāt much for sentimentality. They shouldāve all known that by now.
Middle School
An end-of-school class picture from junior high: all the students lined up in rows in their crisp black uniforms, looking ahead at the camera.
Katsuki received one just like everyone else. It hadnāt been a terrible year, no classmates that were too bad. A lot of morons and extras but nobody whoād really made a point to stand up to him or bother him, exceptā¦
Deku. Standing at the edge of the class, with that dumb, wavering smile on his face and his eyes wide. Like he was afraid of even having his picture taken. If he was so scared all the time, then why had he thrown himself at the sludge monster just a couple of months before to save Katsuki? What did he know that nobody else did?
Katsukiās mom was expecting him to hand over the photograph, but he scribbled over Midoriyaās face in black pen very thoroughly before handing it over.
She raised her eyebrows at his addition. āSeriously, Katsuki, what did he do to you?ā
āShut up,ā Katsuki grumbled, storming out of the room before she could ask any more irritating questions.
UA Festival
āCome on, we have to try it!ā Kirishima said before pulling Bakugo into the photo booth set up at their first UA festival. First flash. Katsuki scowled as Kirishima switched to a different silly pose. Second flash. Deku poked his head in. āHey, Kirishima, are youā¦?ā Third flash. With a playful laugh, Kirishima grabbed Deku and pulled him in, crashing him into Katsuki. Fourth flash.
And then some explosions.
Katsuki didnāt want to look at the print, but Kirishima made sure he saw it anyway. āI canāt believe how you kept the same face the entire time!ā Kirishima said, his eyes scanning over the four photographs where Katsuki did indeed have an identical scowl and glare in all four pictures. āAnd look how red Midoriyaās cheeks are in the last one!ā He said, pointing at the fourth photograph, where Deku was blushing furiously.
Freak. He couldnāt even take a picture normally.
Katsuki had refused to keep the print, but he still found the picture inside his notebook the next day during class. Kirishima, that sneaky bastard, mustāve put it there when he wasnāt looking, because Katsuki sure hadnāt left it there.
The corner of Katsukiās mouth turned up in a smile as he looked at the others in the photos - Kirishima making weird faces, and Deku turning red. Okay, even though Deku had been there, it had been kind of fun. Maybe just a little bit. He wasnāt going to hang this picture up or anything, but it might be worth holding on to.
When he stood up after class, the photo slipped out of the notebook and fluttered down to the floor.
Someone stooped down to pick it up.
Shit. Deku.
āOh, these are those pictures from yesterday!ā He said, his face lighting up as he scanned over the photos.
āYeah, too bad youāre in them,ā Katsuki said, snatching back the strip of photos before catching it on fire with an explosion and letting it burn in his hand.
Deku watched it burn, his expression a mix of forlorn and resigned. When there was nothing left but some blackened scraps of paper, Deku looked back up at Katsuki. āItās okay, we can always take some more next time.ā
āFuck off,ā Katsuki mumbled, before grabbing his stuff and storming off, leaving Deku staring after him.
Deku Disappears
āI found these when we were evacuating,ā Katsukiās mom said, passing him an envelope.
Katsuki opened the envelope to glance at the contents. Photographs. He knew what they were from - a couple of the girls of Class A had taken a bunch of pictures at class parties and celebrations that they printed out and distributed to the other students for Christmas. He hadnāt wanted to keep them at school, but something stopped him from throwing them out, so he dropped them off at home on one of his visits back there.
āOkay.ā He scowled and looked down. āHey. Iām glad youāre safe.ā
His mom pulled him into a hug, and Katsuki tolerated it. āIām glad youāre safe too. Stay that way, okay?ā
When Katsuki was back in his dorm room, he opened the envelope and flipped through the pictures. There were some of everyone, but a couple of the more central students of Class A showed up again and again. He saw one person stand out in particular. Izuku. Izuku. Izuku.
His eyes caught on a specific photo and he stopped flipping. It was in the dorm common room, during a group dinner. Izuku was smiling, huge and sincere like he always did, looking at his classmates fondly.
Katsuki was next to him in the picture, and the expression on his face as he looked at Izuku wasā¦ soft. Relaxed and affectionate. He felt his cheeks burn at the thought that not only had someone seen him looking happy like that, but they had caught it on camera too.
Still, he remembered that night. Thinking about how glad he was that their relationship had changed to something almost like friends, that he was so lucky to have someone like Izuku never had given up on Katsuki. Thinking that Izuku was actually amazing, and that Katsuki couldnāt believe heād never seen it before.
Katsuki dropped the photos on his desk, tears pricking at his eyes. Theyād come so far, and then Deku had just left him behind, just run off to go try to save the world on his own. Katsuki still had so much to tell him, so much to apologize for, andā¦ He missed him. He wanted to talk to him again, he wanted to be near him, to touch himā¦
Katsuki froze. Touch him? Where had that thought come from? Why would he wantā¦?
It hit Katsuki like a punch.
What theyād had - a rivalry, a tentative friendship - wasnāt enough.
Katsuki wanted more.
He wanted to hold Izukuās face in his hands, and he wanted to run his thumbs over the light freckles on his cheeks. He wanted to meet those big green eyes and tell Izuku that Katsuki had been such a moron for not seeing what had been in front of him his entire life. He wanted Izuku to smile, for Katsuki and Katsuki alone, and then he wanted to kiss that smile right off his face.
He brought up a hand to cover his mouth, shocked. He couldnāt believe heād never seen it before. With the amount of time he spent looking at Izuku, thinking about Izuku, why had he never realized his feelings were something more?
He clenched his jaw. No matter how much Katsukiās feelings towards Izuku had changed, their history never could.
Even if Izuku felt similarly, it would never work out with them, and never should.
Katsuki put the picture back in the envelope and shoved it into a drawer so he wouldnāt have to look at it any longer.
His heart ached as he thought about what was going to happen if - when - they got Deku back. Katsuki would have to deal with this revelation again, with Deku right in front of him but just out of reach.
Deku Returns
They got Izuku back, and now the idiot was sleeping off his month of nonstop work. Katsuki had said what he shouldāve said a long time ago, and even if it didnāt change anything between them, he was glad he had.
He took out the envelope of pictures his mom had given him and flipped to one in particular. Heād looked at them a lot while Izuku was gone and he knew exactly which one he was looking for.
There. Izuku with a huge grin and his fingers up in a peace sign. Katsuki scowling with his arms crossed. Almost identical to that picture from when they were kids, the one that heād torn to pieces but for some reason Katsuki hadnāt been able to forget.
He pinned the photo onto his bulletin board, next to all the blueprints for his gauntlets and notes on fighting tactics. Heād never put up a picture like this before, but the butterflies he got looking at it made him feel nice, even though he would never put that emotion into words, for himself or for anyone else.
Then he frowned. The picture stood out, a strike of color among all the plain notes, so anyone in his room would be able to tell heād put it there intentionally.
He tacked up a couple more photos to hide its conspicuousness. A picture of all Class A shortly after moving into the dorms; Kaminari and Kirishima arguing in front of Katsuki; Katsuki and Shoto sparring.
There. He could still see Izuku, but now it wouldnāt be quite so conspicuous.
āAw, Bakubro,ā Kirishima when he stopped by Katsukiās room later. āYou finally put up some pictures. Look, thatās me. I made it onto your board.ā He mimed wiping away a tear.
Katsuki glared at the board, ready to tear it all down, but he swallowed the anxiety at showing his vulnerability and looked back at Kirishima. āAnother word and Iāll blow you into so many pieces that even Recovery Girl wonāt be able to put you back together.ā
āAll right, all right,ā Kirishima said, holding up his hands in defense. But his smile towards Katsuki as he left was a gentle one.
Pro Heroes
Katsuki was a pro hero now, number 2 on the charts less than a year after his debut despite his abrasive personality. He was only behind Deku. Katsuki still planned to surpass Deku one day, but despite his continued expression of aggressive rivalry, they were close now after having been through so much together.
Katsuki had finally gotten his own apartment, and it was missing any personalized touches, which he didnāt mind, exceptā¦ He missed some of the photographs heād had pinned up when he was at UA.
This is pathetic, he thought as he picked out a photo on his phone. This is humiliating, he thought as he got it printed. I canāt believe Iām such a loser, he thought as he put it in a frame and set it on his nightstand.
It was a photo of Deku and Dynamight talking to the press after their first official debut as pro-heroes a couple of years ago. Theyād taken that villain down together, like they had almost every one since. Katsuki was scowling and quiet, but Deku had his hand resting lightly on Dynamightās arm and a big smile on his face as he explained to the press what had happened. Deku looked adorable in the photo, with the scratches and the messy hair and the optimistic expression and the easy way he spoke to the press.
The photo evoked an embarrassing feeling of warmth and happiness in Katsukiās chest, and heād gone back to it again and again on his phone whenever he couldnāt get Izuku off his mind. Now, he thought it was a good addition to his own private space.
That was, until Izuku visited for the first time, a month after Katsuki had moved in.
āWow, Kacchan, I canāt believe how nice this place is,ā Izuku said, running his hand along the marble counters. The place was simple and sparsely furnished, but it had a nice kitchen and a gym. Katsuki didnāt really think much of showing it off. He knew it wasnāt his belongings but rather his abilities that made him exceptional.
Izuku wandered into the bedroom, which was empty except for a bed and a nightstand. The picture frame on the nightstand caught his attention and he wandered over to look at it.
Katsuki froze. It was just a fixture of the room at this point, so he had completely forgotten it was there when heād invited Izuku over. He cursed himself for leaving it out.
Over the years, he hadnāt felt a strong need to keep his feelings completely secret; nothing would really change if anyone found out. But still, heād never actually said anything to Izuku, and never had planned to. There wasnāt a point. It could never work out. But hiding the picture would have avoided that unnecessary and undoubtedly uncomfortable conversation, at least for now.
āKacchan?ā Izuku asked, turning to Katsuki, who was leaning on the door frame.
Katsuki kept his expression carefully blank, watching Izukuās reaction closely. He felt his cheeks heating up and hoped Izuku couldnāt see the color from where he stood across the room. Okay, so maybe Izuku thought it was pretty weird that Katsuki kept pictures of his friend next to where he slept, but he wasnāt about to apologize for it.
āItās us,ā Izuku said.
āObviously, dumbass.ā
āWhy?ā
āāWhyā?ā Katsuki huffed out a laugh and met Izukuās eyes. No point in being anything but honest. āBecause I like looking at you.ā
Izuku hesitated, and then asked again, āWhy?ā
āBecause youāre fucking cute, okay?ā
āIāmā¦ what? Why?ā
āYou really havenāt figured it out yet?ā
āAre you making fun of me?ā Izuku said, narrowing his eyes.
Katsuki wished thatās all it was. He took a deep breath and admitted what heād been holding in for years. āJesus. Iām in love with you, asshole.ā
āOh,ā Izuku said blankly. And then a moment later, āOh.ā
āDoesnāt matter,ā Katsuki said, stepping past Izuku and setting the frame face-down on the nightstand. It was almost a relief to finally have his feelings out in the open after years of not saying anything. Still, Izuku knew now, but so what? Everything would go back to normal soon enough. āMy hero work is the only thing thatās important.ā
āYouāre in love with me?ā Izuku said, like his brain was experiencing a serious lag.
āYou need to get your ears checked?ā
Katsuki turned to go back to the main room but Izuku spoke again.
āHow long?ā
Katsuki was quiet for a moment. āSince you went off on your own after Shigaraki. I donāt know, something changed when we were working on One For All together. When you leftā¦ It made me realize how I felt.ā He shook his head, a ghost of a smile on his lips.
Tears welled up in Izukuās eyes. āYears?ā
Katsuki didnāt reply, didnāt even meet Izukuās eyes. āYeah, whatever. Doesnāt matter.ā He started to walk away again but Izuku grabbed his arm and forced him to turn around and meet his eyes.
āKacchan.ā He licked his lips, which was so distracting that Katsuki almost didnāt hear what came next. āI really like you too. So, so much.ā
Katsuki hadnāt been expecting that. He knew Izuku cared about him, like he cared about so many people, but Katsuki never wouldāve thought Izuku cared about him like that, not after everything Katsuki had put him through.
āWhat?ā
Izuku sounded more unsure when he repeated, āIām in love with you too.ā
Katsuki felt like he shouldāve seen it coming, the way Izuku had followed him around their entire lives. But whatever complicated motivations heād ascribed to Izukuās behavior before, he never wouldāve expected it to be this.
āWhat the hell.ā
Izuku gave him a wavering smile. āSorry.ā
āAsshole. Donāt apologize.ā
āSorrāā
āDeku.ā
Izuku held back another apology and then asked, āHow come you never told me?ā
āI couldnāt change anything Iād done.ā
āOh.ā
āThereās some things that canāt be forgiven. We get along fine now, but I made your life hell for the longest time.ā
āBut Iām okay. Weāre okay.ā
āThatās not the point,ā Katsuki said, not even trying to hide his exasperation.
āI donāt get it.ā
āListen, Izuku,ā Katsuki said. āSometimes youāre too nice for your own good. You never take yourself into account. You deserve someone who doesnāt have that complicated history with you. Literally anyone else. I accepted that a long time ago, andāā
Izuku furrowed his brow and scowled, a familiar look of determination coming over his face. āYouāve told me what I couldnāt do my whole life, Kacchan. That I couldnāt be a hero. That I couldnāt go to UA. That I couldnāt keep up with Class A.ā
āExactly, which is whyāā
āShut up, Iām not done,ā Izuku said, and Katsuki was shocked into silence at his blunt words. āNow youāre telling me I canāt feel the way I feel about you. Screw that, Katsuki. I know what I want. You canāt tell me what I canāt do anymore.ā
āIzukuā¦ā Katsukiās throat was thick with tears.
It meant something that Izuku was telling him off. It gave him hope, even though he knew it shouldnāt. Maybe Izuku was right. Maybe they could move on from the past. Maybe they had to.
Katsuki cleared his throat to hide his emotion, and asked, his voice very quiet, āSo what do you want?ā
Doubt clouded Izukuās features again. āI wantā¦ Kacchan, I want you, I mean, if thatās okayā¦ā
Izukuās soft, sincere voice broke down the last of Katsukiās reluctance. The firm belief that he couldnāt be with Izuku, that he shouldnāt, cracked and fell apart.
āFucking idiot,ā Katsuki said with a laugh. At the response, Izukuās eyes went huge and unsure, but Katsuki still took his time to add, āOf course thatās okay, moron.ā
āOhā¦ā
Katsuki wasnāt sure if Izuku kissed him first, or if he kissed Izuku first. But finally, finally, his lips were on Izukuās, the lips heād watched and dreamt about for years. The lips whose image had kept him up late at night, wondering how he could turn off the feelings he had for someone he didnāt deserve.
Izuku kissed him back, his hands greedily grasping Katsukiās shirt. Izukuās kiss was clumsy and uncertain, but Katsuki didnāt mind. Heād thought about this first kiss so many times, and it was exactly what he expected, exactly what he wanted.
Izuku pulled back, eyes closed, and even this close Katsuki could see he was an endearing shade of red. āKacchanā¦ā he muttered, burying his face in Katsukiās shoulder and trying to catch his breath. āAhā¦ Sorryā¦ Iāve never kissed anyone before, and I just never expected it to be you, and I really like you, I really, really like you, andā¦ā
Katsuki smiled into Izukuās shoulder. āIdiot,ā he muttered. āStop talking.ā
āOkay.ā
They held each other close, the last wall between them finally torn down after all these years. Their relationship had shifted a lot since they were kids, and Katsuki was stunned it had turned itself into this. Stunned, but so happy.
āKacchan.ā
āHm.ā
āI want to be with you.ā
āYou are with me, idiot. Youāre in my arms right now.ā
āNo, I meanā¦ With you. Likeā¦ Your boyfriend.ā
Katsuki took a step back to look at Izuku. His eyes were pleading and vulnerable. Katsuki thought about it. One, heād been determined to avoid any type of romantic relationship so he could focus on hero work, though that reason didnāt seem so compelling right now. Two, boyfriend seemed like an inappropriate word for them, not even close to enough to describe their relationship.
Still, it didnāt take long for him to make up his mind.
āYeah, sure,ā he finally said. āYou can be my boyfriend.ā
Izuku kissed him again, and Katsuki could feel Izukuās smile against his lips.
Epilogue
Katsuki stood in front of the newly-printed picture Izuku had hung up earlier that day on the wall of their shared apartment. It was the two of them, exchanging vows in front of an altar, both dressed in tuxedos. Katsuki smiled gently at the picture, even though he had thought marriage was a dumb idea, unnecessary and a waste of time and money. But Izuku had really wanted it, so Katsuki said yes.
Katsuki felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist and a head rest on his shoulder.
āAdmit it, youāre glad we got married,ā Izuku murmured.
Katsuki scoffed. āNo way. It was just for you.ā
Summary: After Izuku comes home, Katsuki realizes heās fallen in love. But no apology is enough to fix the past, and he knows it.
Fandom: My Hero Academia
Characters:Ā Katsuki Bakugo, Izuku Midoriya, Class 1A
Pairing: Katsuki Bakugo/Izuku Midoriya
Word Count: 3,000
Rating: T
AO3: Link
Other tags: BNHA #322-327 spoilers, first kiss, love confessions
Notes:Ā Takes place during events of #322ā327 and a couple of days after. Starts with canon events including a couple of direct quotes but diverges from there.
Fic:
Katsuki started to realize a few things about himself after Izuku left UA.
First, he was worried about the nerd.
Second, he was furious at the nerd for making him worry. Izuku putting Katsuki in a situation where he thought about Izuku all the time, where he lost sleep over him, absolutely qualified as a dick move.
Third, he was furious at himself. He knew now that Izuku was better than him. He always had been, but Katsuki had been too caught up in his own greatness to notice.
Katsuki had watched Izuku risk his life over and over to protect others, and now was watching him work himself to death to keep everyone safe. He knew first-hand that Izuku had always been like that, even before his quirk. Heād always been determined and selfless and willing to sacrifice himself if others needed it.
When Izuku had held his hand out to Katsuki when they were kids, it wasnāt because he was looking down on Katsuki. It was because he was kind. It was because he cared. It was because he knew that even if someone was strong, they still deserved help and support - something that Izuku himself seemed to have forgotten right now.
When they found Izuku, exhausted and giving up under the press of dozens of civilians controlled by a villain, he was relieved but angry. This fucking dumbass. Katsuki knew it. He knew Izuku would push himself too far like this, and then would push his friends away in an effort to protect them, even when they didnāt need protecting.
The fury subsided when he faced Izuku directly. Izuku, barely staying on his feet, eyes foggy and barely able to focus on Katsuki through his exhaustion. Katsuki felt the eyes of the rest of Class 1-A on him as he told Izuku what he needed to tell him. That Katsuki had always known Izuku was strong, even when Katsuki had tried to believe differently. That Katsuki was sorry for everything heād done to Izuku. That no matter how strong he was, Izuku needed to accept their help now.
Izuku took a long time to absorb the words, and he finally spoke with a wavering voice, clearly a huge effort through his exhaustion. āI said you all couldnāt keep up with me. Iām sorry I said something so awful.ā
With the words out of his mouth, he started to collapse. Katsuki rushed forward and let Izuku fall into his arms. āWe get it,ā he said, but he wasnāt even sure the nerd was even alert enough to have heard him.
Katsuki started to realize something else as he held Izuku in his arms, as he looked at Izuku, his face dirty and scratched but now so free from worry now that he was asleep.
Katsuki was in love.
He was still stunned by the realization as they got Izuku home.
He was too stunned to go into action against the crowd that was preventing Izuku from entering U.A., which was the only thing stopping him from blasting his way through the idiots in their way, get Izuku some place he could rest. Instead, he stood steady and reassuring by Izukuās side and let Uraraka convince the crowd.
He started to come back to himself when the boys of 1-A took Izuku to the baths. āWeāre still rivals, including you, DekuāIzuku,ā Katsuki said, splashing Izuku with a wave of water.
Izuku smiled at Katsukiās self-correction of his name. āToo challenging? āDekuā is fine, Kacchan.ā
Little shit. Katsuki splashed him again and made his disagreement loud and clear, but even as he yelled, he felt warm and happy. Izuku was safe.
Izuku had said he was too wired up to sleep, but it didnāt take long before he slumped against Katsuki where they sat together on the couch, fast asleep. Katsuki glanced down at Izuku, his head resting on Katsukiās shoulder. Izuku normally wouldnāt have gotten away with it, but Katsuki wasnāt going to move the guy when he was so tired.
Andā¦ He was cute. When had he gotten so cute? Freckles and curly green hair and a round face that radiated kindness, even when he was asleep.
Katsuki couldn't stop staring. He smiled and brushed a lock of unruly hair away from Izukuās face.
He glanced up and met Icy-Hotās eyes across the room, and immediately scowled, his cheeks starting to burn. There was no judgment in Shotoās eyes, only the soft relief that all of them were feeling now that Izuku was back, but it was a moment Katsuki hadnāt meant anyone to see. He still was unsteady in his own feelings, he wasnāt ready for others to form their opinions as well.
One by one the others filtered out of the room to go to bed, everyone exhausted from the stress and exertion of their fight with Izuku earlier that day.
Shotoās eyes lingered on them for a couple seconds too long.
āGood night,ā he said. āBe nice.ā
Mind your own business, you half-assed ice cube, Katsuki got ready to say, but he bit back the retort. He didnāt want to wake Izuku up, not now.
Instead he just nodded. Shoto left and they were alone.
Katsuki rested his head against Izukuās. He took one of Izukuās hands in his own and ran a thumb over one of the scars. There were a few of them, representing Izukuās determination and sacrifice, and Katsuki thought they were beautiful.
Tiredness washed over him now that everything had calmed down, and he closed his eyes, not taking long to drift off to sleep.
He woke up to the sound of giggling. His eyes snapped open and he was met with the sight of Mina and Yaoyorozu snapping a picture of him and Izuku, leaning against each other with their hands intertwined, on one of their phones.
āHey!ā he shouted, startling Izuku awake. He jumped to his feet. āGive me that, now!ā
Yaoyorozu laughed and dodged his sparking hands reaching for her phone. Mina blocked his way as Yaoyorozu tapped something on her phone. The phone made the whooshing sound of an email being sent. Small booms went off in Katsukiās clenched fists.
āWho knew you were such a softy?ā Mina said.
āDo I look like a softy to you?ā Bakugo shouted, his fists now starting to smoke.
āWhatās going on?ā Izuku says, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. āKacchan?ā
āHe was holding your hand,ā Mina said.
āWhatever,ā Katsuki said, throwing up his hands in irritation and storming out.
āYouāve really made progress, huh?ā Katsuki heard Yaoyorozu say to Izuku from behind him.
āOh, yeahā¦ I guessā¦ā
Izuku wandered into the kitchen to find Katsuki a couple of minutes later, still looking exhausted and ragged. He had dark circles under his eyes and heād clearly lost weight in the month he was gone. Stupid Deku.
āSorry, I didnāt mean to fall asleep on you like that,ā Izuku said, yawning, as he slid into a chair at a table nearby.
āYeah, of course your sorry ass would be too lazy to actually get up and go to an actual bed,ā Katsuki grumbled, chopping up vegetables for an omelet.
After a moment, Izuku added cautiously, āWe were holding hands?ā
Katsuki scoffed. āDonāt look too much into it, nerd. I just wanted to make sure you werenāt going anywhere again.ā
Izuku was quiet for a few minutes as Katsuki whipped up the omelet with the ingredients that he knew were Izukuās favorites. When he looked over at Izuku again, he was slumped over the table with his head resting on his arms, asleep.
Katsuki slid the plate onto the table in front of Izuku and nudged him. āHey. Shitty Deku. Wake up.ā
āMmf?ā Izuku blinked tiredly and looked up at Katsuki.
āFood.ā
āYou made this for me?ā
āYes.ā
āKacchanā¦ā Izukuās eyes filled with tears.
āShut the fuck up and eat.ā
Izuku did.
āWill you train with me today?ā Izuku asked as he ate.
āIām not going to kick your ass while youāre only half alive. I have my pride.ā
āI think youāre scared because you know I got better.ā
āWanna bet, shitty nerd? Even if you got better, youāre still leagues behind me.ā
āAh, thereās the Kacchan I know and love.ā
Katsuki looked away, flustered at the choice of words. Love. And the way heād said it, so naturallyā¦
āI mean, youāve been going kind of soft on me since I got back,ā Izuku said.
āIāll beat you into the ground at training and then weāll see whoās going soft,ā Katsuki growled.
āGood.ā
It took a couple more naps and another healthy meal, forced upon him by the other classmates of 1-A, but finally Izuku was deemed fit for fighting.
Izuku had gotten better. One month of nonstop work meant more mastery of his six quirks, and of using them simultaneously. But Katsuki had been training too, developing a couple of new moves, and within a few minutes he had Izuku pinned to the ground.
āI told you,ā Katsuki said with a grin.
Izuku grinned back at him. āYou did.ā
God. This fucking asshole. He went through hell alone, he gave every part of himself to keep everyone else safe, and one day later he was already back to being his sunny, cheerful self. Now that heād gotten some rest, the blank eyes heād had yesterday were now filled with life and sparks of challenge.
āIzukuā¦ā Katsuki groaned, and he quickly stood up and took a few steps away, running his hand through his sweat-soaked hair.
āWhat? Are you okay?ā
āNo, Iām not okay,ā Katsuki snapped.
āDid I do something wrong?ā
Izuku looked like a fucking kicked puppy, big pleading eyes and small frown on his freckled face and Katsuki couldnāt stand it. He wanted to walk over there right then and kiss him. If Izuku were anybody else, he would have.
But it was Izuku, who he gave shit to relentlessly for years, and he had apologized - heād had to, to get Izuku home, though he meant every word - but that didnāt change anything. That didnāt mean he had a shot in hell with this guy, or that he even deserved one.
āKacchan?ā Izuku said, tilting his head slightly. Katsuki realized heād been staring at Izuku for a few too many seconds and turned away, face burning.
āForget it, nerd,ā he grumbled. āCome on, letās get back. You need some more rest.ā
āIām fine, I can go again,ā Izuku said.
āNo,ā Katsuki replied. He couldnāt handle being close to Izuku, touching him, when all that was going through his mind was how much he wanted to kiss him. āYouāre still recovering, idiot. You need a break.ā
Katsuki started to walk towards the exit of the training room, and Izuku caught up with him, their shoulders almost brushing together. Katsuki gritted his teeth.
āHey, Kacchan,ā Izuku said softly.
āWhat, asshole?ā
āThanks for taking care of me.ā
āIām not,ā Katsuki scoffed, and he wished that were true so that people - Izuku - wouldnāt think he cared as much as he did.
āKacchanā¦ā Izuku had stopped walking, so Katsuki stopped to look back at him.
The idiot had tears welling up in his eyes. Fucking crybaby. Izuku sniffed. The tears started to spill over, and they wouldnāt stop.
āEverything you told me, Iā¦ I never thought weād get there, you know? I thoughtā¦ā He sniffed again and then Katsuki was in front of him, Izukuās face in his hands, wiping away the tears with his thumbs.
āHey,ā Katsuki said, his voice gentle. He cleared his throat and tried again, gruff. āHey. Knock that shit off. The new symbol of peace canāt break down crying all the time.ā
Izuku looked up at Katsuki with a wavering smile, his eyes still shining with tears. And then he threw his arms around Katsuki and pulled him close, burying his head in Katsukiās shoulder, and all of Katsukiās thoughts disappeared from his mind at the close contact.
āYouāre amazing,ā Izuku said. āI couldnāt have gotten here without you. You know that, right? You know that I think youāre amazing?ā
Hesitantly, Katsuki brought his arms up to hold Izuku. āYeah, I know. Everyone thinks Iām amazing.ā
Izuku let out a little laugh-hiccup. āThanks, Kacchan.ā
Katsuki huffed. āYeah. Donāt mention it. Pathetic crybaby. Come on, letās go back.ā
Katsuki couldnāt deal with his feelings, so he tried his best to avoid Izuku. Which was hard, because Izuku was everywhere, being fawned over by Class 1-A. And secondly, Katsuki was worried about him, felt anxious every time he was out of sight (what if he took off again?), so he moped around in the corner of the room, keeping an eye on Izuku.
They were all stressed and wired up, having to be on standby for defeating Tomura before the deadline, but they also had to do their best to remain rested enough that they would have the energy to fight when it came to it.
Katsuki had trouble falling asleep. He was sure they were all having that problem, with Japan on the brink like it was.
So the knock on his door was something of a relief. He slid out of bed and padded over to the door, opening it up.
āIzuku. You couldnāt sleep either?ā
āI did, but the nightmaresā¦ With Tomura. So many people got hurt, because of me.ā
āWhyād you come to me? Donāt you have Iida, or Todoroki or someone?ā
āI can go if Iām bothering you,ā Izuku said, starting to turn away, and Katsuki grabbed his arm.
He sighed. āYouāre not. Come in.ā
They sat on the floor in front of Katsukiās bed, leaning back against it.
āIt was my fault,ā Izuku said, resting his head against Katsukiās shoulder again. Katsuki went rigid for a moment before forcing himself to relax. He needed to be a calming presence right now. āI shouldnāt be at UA right now.ā
Katsuki sighed. āChrist, Deku, for someone with such good grades, youāre really fucking dense.ā
āHey!ā
āAll for One was going to happen with or without you. What happened is not on you. You did everything right. Even right now. Listen, Iām not saying this because I care about you, but - if you run yourself into the ground until you canāt get up, youāre not going to be any good to anyone. We need you safe here so we have a fighting chance against these fuckers.ā
āKacchanā¦ā
Katsuki was going to melt if he heard that name out of Izukuās lips one more time.
Izuku was looking up at him, and Katsuki hesitantly met his gaze. Izukuās still-shining eyes flicked down to Katsukiās lips for a moment and then back up to Katsukiās eyes.
Katsuki couldnāt breathe. Time seemed to slow, his heart pounding loud in his chest.
Izuku closed the gap between them and pressed his lips to Katsukiās.
Katsuk kissed Izuku back. He brought a hand up to rest on the side of Izukuās neck, the tips of his fingers brushing against the curly green hair. The butterflies in his stomach were something new. Unexpected, but good, making his entire being aware of what he was doing.
What had he been waiting for? This was perfect.
This was wrong.
He pulled back and quickly looked away.
āSorry, I shouldnāt haveā¦ā Izuku started to say, his voice embarrassed and barely audible.
āWhy the hell would you do that, moron?ā Katsuki asked, eyes carefully avoiding Izukuās. āAfter everything? After how I treated you?ā
He heard Izuku sniff and finally looked back at him. Tears were streaming down Izukuās face again.
āWeāre more than that, Kacchan.ā
Katsuki considered scolding him for crying, again, but he couldnāt bring himself to do it. This moment was too important.
āEven when you were meanā¦Ā You were something that pushed me to improve myself. You were the ideal I wanted to reach. When we got to U.A., when we started talking again, I was so happy. I missed you.ā
Fuck, this nerd was sappy. Katsuki grit his teeth to stop his own tears. āYou deserve better. Anyone else. Uraraka likes you. She defended you out there. Be with her. Youāre close with Icy-Hot, maybe him.ā
āBut I like you,ā Izuku said. āI have for a really, really long time.ā
Katsuki shook his head. āChrist, Iāve always told you that you were dumb.ā
āHow do you feel?ā
Katsuki scoffed and rubbed the back of his neck. āGetting into this emotional territory is a little lame, Deku.ā
āKatsuki.ā
Katsuki was a little jolted by the sound of his actual name.
āI like you too, okay?ā he grumbled.
Izuku beamed up at him with such excitement that Katsuki couldnāt help but let out a low chuckle. āNerd.ā
He leaned forward and gave Izuku another brief kiss, the taste of Izukuās tears salty on his lips.
When he pulled away, he met Izukuās gaze and held it. āThis thing with Tomura isnāt going to be easy. But youāll be there for me, and Iāll be there for you. We all will. No more nightmares, okay, dweeb?ā Katsuki ruffled Izukuās hair.
āI probably wonāt have any more nightmares if I stay here.ā
āYeah?ā Katsuki raised an eyebrow. āFine. But no funny business.ā
Izuku snorted. āI should be the one telling you that.ā
Katsuki laughed. āIāll hold back. For now.ā
Izuku got to his feet. It was even more obvious from this position that Izuku had grown up. He had grown so much from the timid, unsure Deku heād been just a couple of years ago.
Izuku extended a hand down to Katsuki. This time, Katsuki took it.
Isaiahās been to hell and back. If I was in his shoes, Iād probably feel the exact same way. But what would be the point of all the pain and sacrifice if I wasnāt willing to stand up and keep fighting?
Iām not notĀ into spn I guess... You can still see Iām pretty active on @audi-nos-bitch. Iāve just gone through a lot of change recently, with moving and everything, and when your environment changes, your habits change, ykwim? So Iām doing less giffing and watching spn and writing and moreā¦ idk, what have I been doing instead? Reading and watching anime? Rearranging my room? Boring shit like that. Also as a lot of other creators have noted, itās hard to stay motivated when the fandom is dwindling and thereās not much interaction butĀ Iām gonna try to keep up with @canonspngifsās gifathons and maybe try to write some more, that type of thing
