How I healed after my Mom went to heaven
It was January of 2013 when I received a call from my Momās doctor in NYC. I was at my beach apartment in Venice, CA, cooking dinner and saw that my cell rang with the doctorās name. It was a dreadful feeling to see the doctorās number come up on my cell, I knew something was wrong.
The doctor, Jackie, with her intense New York voice said,Ā āHi there.ā I responsed with hesitation,Ā āHiā. . . she continued with no emotion at all . .Ā āYour Mom might die this weekā. I remember nearly fainting on the kitchen floor from shock. I almost collapsed on the ground but grabbed the kitchen counter and cried like a 3 year old baby and gasped for short breathes of air.Ā āThis canāt beā. I told the doctor. . .Ā āSheās not going to die this week.ā The doctor continued,Ā āYou might want to fly in to say good byeā.Ā
A few hours later I was on a flight to NYC. She had been in ok condition the week before and suddenly she caught a bad virus and was going downhill fast. She was in the hospital room and I walked in at 6am with my luggage. Her smile, her bright eyes, looking at me. Iāll never forget it. We smiled at each other and she was so happy to see me. I hugged her and the only thing on my mind was that I was there to be her hero and save her from dying. It was soldier mode and determination until I got her home. There was no way I was gonna lose my Mom. She was my best friend.Ā
After 3 days of intense ups and downs, she passed away. The last 6 hours of her life, I laid beside her in her hospital bed, Ā holding her and crying. Trying to make negotiations with God to please perform a miracle. Whispering in my Momās ear that she was the best thing that ever happened to me and my everything. That she was the best Mom ever.Ā
But then terrible cancer spread everywhere andĀ took my Mom and her last breathe.Ā
Flash forward 2 years and 3 months after her passing.....Ā
I finally feel ok. Sometimes I cry, but itās a different cry.Ā I grieved for at least 6 months straight after her passing and donāt cry the same tears. The tears I cry are different - not of desperation and loss, but of sadness that weāll all have to say good by to each other one day. Tears about how none of this is going to last forever.Ā
The point of my post is not about feeling depressed any longer but for writing part of my story to help those who have gone thru or are experiencing the same thing. After my Mom went to heaven, I healed by doing the following 5 things. I hope that my story helps at least one person out there:
1) I contacted Inerman Angels (http://imermanangels.org) and was matched, free of charge with a Mentor Angel. This is an amazing organization that matches people who have walked down the same path as you (before you and are experienced) who can help you and give you support on the phone. I had a great mentor who helped me feel more grounded.
2) Ā I actively started to go to an amazing spiritual center called Agape in Los Angeles. Founded by the infamous Michael Beckwith (from the movie The Secret). It changed my life because of the positive thinking everyone has there. I started to have faith and hope, knowing that things would get better.
3) I made a firm decision to only surround myself with people who truly love me and positive people. 50% of the people I used to spend time with, I realized were just acquaintances. Changing the people around you to positive people can change your entire world.
4) I was lucky to have the guidance of a music mentor and friend named Phil Ramone (who was one of the most legendary music producers of all time who went to heaven in March 2013). Phil guided me to write an album after my Mom passed away. The music I wrote saved and healed me. Putting your emotions into something that you can create, can not only heal yourself but possibly others once you finish and share it. I had a purpose to create something from my pain to help others and this gave me tons of strength.Ā
5) Allowing time to help you heal. Time is the best medicine and being patient thru the process of grieving and experiencing the journey of it, has helped me to heal. I donāt believe anything is overnight - it takes time for a cut to heal, for an injury to feel less painful. In time, I can say, things get so much easier.Ā
6) Lastly, Iāve becomeĀ more spiritual and started to understand to the fullest that my Mom and Dad are still around in spirit and are my angels. Thereās signs I see everyday, especially when I meditate. I used to take little things for granted, but not anymore. Every moment is so precious and not having my parents here in the physical world anymore makes me realize I need to enjoy every moment before I leave here myself.Ā
I hope I helped someone out there in the world. We are all walking similar paths at some point in our lives and by sharing our stories, I believe we can truly help one another.Ā
