How David Bowie Articulated my Gender Envy/ Dysphoria
Boys Keep Swinging is a song by David Bowie that I feel a strong connection to. At it’s core, it is a celebration of what it feels like to experience boyhood and also a critique of patriarchy and toxic masculinity. Speaking specifically, lines like “You’re always first on the line” and “You can wear a uniform” are both positive and negative. Boys are given the opportunity to take on hard jobs like being a part of the military which is a privilege that women don’t have, but they are also pushed to even if they don’t want too.
I connect with this because I think the reason I feel connected to masculinity stems from my experiences with misogyny. I am tired of my femininity being perceived as inherently sexual (The phrase “I wish I was feminine the way boys are” is a common one now, and I relate to it immensely. Many have pointed out that this idea is probably at least partly rooted in how everything feminine is often sexualized). I feel body dysphoria because I’ve been shamed for being flat-chested from an early age, yet bigger boobs are often something to gape at and sexualize. I think the gender euphoria I experience from being called a boy stems from my experiences with misogyny, and I don’t think that makes the transgender in me any less valid. It’s just the psychological reason behind it.
(Songs like Brutus by The Buttress looks at this kind of gender envy motivated by misogyny in a different direction and I would recommend checking it out “I don’t want what you have, I wanna BE you,”)
There are also some obvious queer undertones to the song and music video. “Other boys check you out”, “Uncage the colors, unfurl the flag”, and David in drag as his own backup singers in the music video.
That leads me to the music video
David Bowie appears as three different dragsonas in this music video. I interpret this as telling the viewer that “my gender expression does not define my gender” and is also obviously a big “screw you" to gender norms and the norms of masculinity in particular. When Bowie rips off his drag, he is revealing that he is still a masculine being because he is man. His rejection of norms does not make him any less in touch with his manhood.
This is validating to me as someone who feels in touch with masculine labels yet naturally gravitates towards things that are traditionally deemed more feminine. Masculinity and femininity are social constructs. Bowie affirms that I can enjoy being called a boy and still love wearing dresses and makeup, he tells the viewer that those don’t contradict each other.
David Bowie was possibly the first person I ever felt gender envy towards, and in addition he created a song that I consider an afab trans anthem. Bowie paved the way for so many queer folks and those who do not fit convention. He’s affirmed so many and gave so much of himself. Thanks, Bowie. RIP, Blackstar.
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