Finally There.

I would recognize you in every life.

[freaksgivebetterhead]

Also I moved from a small town in the valley of two mountains to a city so also that

[freaksgivebetterhead]

Well I had a mental breakdown in December and now I’m back, medicated and on only fans hell yeah

[freaksgivebetterhead]

All I can think about rn is being railed by a heavily tattooed man. Like just disrespectfully.

[freaksgivebetterhead]

Challenge accepted bitch. Bold of you to assume I’m not beyond competitive.

[freaksgivebetterhead]

Alright guys it’s official, I’m gonna go actually insane for awhile. Like just full batshit insane. I’m gonna be a menace to society.

[freaksgivebetterhead]

Man. Four years clean down the fuckin drain. I hate my own head.

[freaksgivebetterhead]

Girls know girls. We can tell when we see another girl as a threat.

[freaksgivebetterhead]

I hope all the shows you play go well.

Remember, your feet didn’t stop working, you’re just overthinking it. You will do great like you always do.

Remember to drink water at work and eat a real meal for dinner.

Lock the doors in your van before you go to bed and charge your battery pack.

Be safe on your next jobs, remember to bring extra socks.

You should charge the battery on your 2nd gen, I bet it’s dead and you’re gonna need it for something.

I hope you get your shovel head and it’s just the way you want it and it doesn’t leak oil or need a rebuild.

Don’t drive too fast and wear your seatbelt.

Don’t let Cody talk you into dumb shit.

I hope one day you get your big garage that fits all your toys.

I hope you finish the Hudson one day. With a supercool 8 ball shifter.

I hope one day you find the right girl. I hope she’s patient and kind. I hope she doesn’t have my worst qualities or my need to isolate. I hope she’s cooler than me. I hope your mom loves her too.

I hope you change for the better. I hope you figure things out.

I’m sorry I fell out of love with you. I wish I could have stopped it. I wish it all could have been different. You just hurt me so much and didn’t listen when I needed you to.

[freaksgivebetterhead]

Why even bother to keep being alive. My life is a mess. Everyone else is so far ahead of me… I didn’t plan to be alive this long. I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going. I’m so fucking lost.

[freaksgivebetterhead]

Life is totally fine rn but I’m drinking and wanna fucking scream.

[freaksgivebetterhead]

Some days I miss your laugh.

Your callused hands.

I miss your eyes.

But then I just keep thinking about how I would cry so much.

I think about the nights where you fell asleep and I just sobbed. How I felt so alone in so many moments.

Begging for things to change and they didn’t.

I just feel defeated.

I don’t want another shot at us.

I just wish you would have changed with me. 

[freaksgivebetterhead]

Hey I’m not depressed anymore

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And I made an OF. So yeah.

[freaksgivebetterhead]

Some days I miss your laugh. But then I remember all the times I cried after you fell asleep. I just got so tired of asking.

[freaksgivebetterhead]

I’m so sorry you’re hurting. I wish you weren’t. I don’t want to reach out because I don’t wanna give you false hope that I’ll come back. I won’t come back. I’m sorry.

[freaksgivebetterhead]

I am confused about my future but oh wow are there possibilities. That’s kinda insane.

[rickybabyboy]

Ricky what do u think of toilet gang

hmm i think they might be babies daculas

[freaksgivebetterhead]

Maybe I’ll get to a point where I am violently comfortable in my own skin.

A point where nothing burns or aches

A point where I take care of myself inside and out

Maybe I’ll lose my reservations and just allow myself to do the thinks I so badly want to do.

I think I will.