FreAlt

𝚍𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚢 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢

[frealt]

It shouldn't hurt. My friend forgot our little plans and I don't blame him. Seriously I don't. I just wanna know if I did something. Or maybe said something. I'm looking back at our texts I don't know. I should just sleep.

[frealt]

It hurts a little because this is the closest I was getting to actually getting to them and for me I just. I really want to hug then and hold their hands but it's just I don't have that option anymore.

Idk I'm happy they're happy bc that's what really matters to me. But at the same time I just want someone I can say I truly love with all my heart. And that I can give them all the affection they deserve.

Idk I'm so done with this I really like them both a nd glad they're happy at least, even if not with me.

[frealt]

Nvm my problem of finding which girl I like is fixed they all talking to someone already 🥲

[frealt]

Two

Here are the different girls from my previous post. Obviously not using real names.

1. Red 🟥

She's cool, an online friend. I gave her a cute nickname and we talked for a while. I flirted with her a little and she did back but in the end it didn't really go anywhere. We don't talk too much anymore. Just the once in a while tiktok.

2. E 🟢 (One of the main ones)

She's really fucking cool. Another online friend but sometimes I forget she is. We have the same humor and the same music. She is one of my best friends ever. Even over some of my real life friends. I think about her a lot.

3. Orange 🧡(Of the the main ones.)

She's actually one of my real life friends. Sometimes I'll give her hints that I might like her. She gets close to me sometimes and says things. I don't know but she's cool and stuff.

There is another but my feeling for her have slipped I don't really think about her in that way anymore. It's really just thoose two girls honestly. I think about them the most.

I definitely love them both a lot as friends but. My mind goes further sometiems and I don't know if its just me wanting someone to love or love me or if I actually love them.

[frealt]

One

I can never tell if I really like someone. Because I'm friends with really pretty girls. And when they get close to me or say certain stuff I do feel it in my stomach.

And I've felt that with the same three girls for this past year. And sometimes late and night my mind will wonder and think about how it would be like to be in a relationship with them.

I've thought of this multiple times with these girls. And I find myself sometimes wanting to say something. But then I have a thought.

Do I really like them or do I just want affection? Do I really like them or just the things they tell me?

I want to love someone I really do. I've loved someone before and it felt so good. Or maybe liking things a certain person says to you and feeling a fluttering in your stomach when they almost touch you are the beginning stages of liking someone?

Maybe even loving them? I have no idea just want to love someone and for them to love me.