Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Mike Driver
izzy's playlists!
occasionally subtle
PR's Tumblrdome
i don't do bad sauce passes
Andulka
AnasAbdin
$LAYYYTER
Love Begins
Monterey Bay Aquarium
One Nice Bug Per Day
KIROKAZE
blake kathryn
#extradirty
No title available
roma★
sheepfilms
d e v o n
No title available
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@fredthejackal
the suffocation of self
as promised
at first, then after
wonder
why
realism shakes itself awake
foolish
enough
the situation
of myself
of suffocation
asphyxiation
the shackles
the bad tempering of
the brass ring
wound round
bound
wringing and writhing
a self-imposed strangulation
the effect
ribs
broken and bruised
struggle to peel the wire
away
aware
acute
removal hurts
now that we're in it
poison potion
light reflect dark
and
dark reflect light
interwined and enraged
furious with chaos
brought and wrought
the
scuffle and shuffle
unintended offended
shame's always the same
hide the crying pride
wake shake
not so bad
amends are made
black and whites, greyed
nothing ever happened
the war is forgotten
to see unclean
those demons of annoyance
parasitic
the alternative
a presentation
a rebirth of unrealized potential
a letting go of old habits
a telling of the incompatible current path
with new growth and goals
it
an indication
some unknown situation
they
the blind enter into
that situation or deal
the evaluation
the facts more carefully
that person in our life
draining self-confidence and resources
there was no fight
the feminine
the graciousness
the attack to the ego
that and
there was no guilt
there was no fight
only motion toward
transforming the succubus
into
intuition
loyalty
generosity
protection
fidelity
and it was set free
foundations shifted
ruins remain
the earth belched
the pressure beneath the surface
the ice and sleet rained down covering the ground
I cry out at what was lost
alone
I try to preserve my anguish for an audience not there
posterity
relay my plight
the more i try to explain
the more enraged i become
for they don't seem to care
they don't feel what i feel
I can't convey the loss
that which I had
their comfort is salt in my eyes
a discounting
my agony is not understood
my agony is a solitary trial
there is no diffusing it
the shell holds it fast
inside
it builds
wanting to erupt
as the earth did before
the suppression is poison
the expression is poison
from whence does it hale
and where does it go
where will it diffuse to
out
the pressure
it builds
the escape lies in its escape
the pressure becomes that with which identify myself
it becomes me
it defines me
my rage defines me
to let go of rage is to let go of everything that makes me
me
for I know nothing other than it
like an addict
I feed off it
a closed-system drug addict
an adrenalin junky
but the fix will never be as good as the first time
I’ll always want more
more and more
until it destroys me
until it destroys everything
I have to stop to start again
trust and faith
built on each other
rest atop reliance
my denial of the
cross
country
trip
the worry of what
she gets hurt
she gets dead
my fear
my security
my life
my loss
my choice
at the expense of her freedom
knowing she sacrificed her freedom
to be with a drunk
I killed myself
and she watched me do it
her reputation
her security
her fear
her life
which way
stop her because she stopped me
or
see if she can handle herself
freedom and fear inform
take heart
don't lose it
H&R outside the happy hour parking is a bear and when you get too close to the bear you get hit and left no1curr they that idle in my way nestled too close they that delay my repose my head now in state compels me not to care or ask you to move politely as you idle unaware i was proud boasted of this teaching moment back at the den i thought i had taught them a lesson the lesson not looking out for their surroundings the real lesson was not looking out for me and the drink
SCLEROTIC FOUNDATION SCARRED AND BLISTERED FROM THE CHASE ATTEMPTED PRIDE WOUND EXPOSURE SABATOGE RUN OFF AHEAD OUT OF REACH CAN'T KEEP UP IS IT THE ENVIRONMENT THAT SLOWS ME OR A MENTAL BLOCK THAT STOPS ME. I FLEW BEFORE THE RUSH TO INDULGE TO FEED THERE LIES AMAZING POTENTIAL FOR THE BASER DESIRES THE BLOCKADES ERECT FOR THE MORE MEANINGFUL THE SPIRITUAL CUNNING AND CLINGING SABOTAGE
better off without within, the ups and downs that are left out without leave the with behind be removed from the binds of within. be without. without carries no pain. without doesn't injure. within, there is pain. not letting go. attainment within. loss within. without, there is none. nothing. oblivion. within within withering. without without without a thought. stay or stray. there is no way out within, so remove thyself, without. the only way to win.
The stop-clause option
cattles and rattles catatonic,
crediting the leaf flicking by the
trio, intending to employ the
fire ants, acing a non-supportive
taboo lexicon, smitten with the
nearest slapping stilt of an
ice picking gull-scepter
roofing the foundry ale,
awakened, first, on the sand.
Nicked from the cesspool and served up on a hotplate.
Bass, a forgiven fillet harvested by my little reaper and the motioning vine.
The accompaniment are the notes of a ferocious fight, tamed by the art of the thread.
An elated wound reflected upon, leads to chunder. Having the heart to face the sting of nasal notes.
The ice, at its optimum, flaking mist. The intensity of an account of strides and inroads. A gala of laws, guiding a queer escape.
The first step will be to break up the barrier. The fear.
Afterward, the light shines down, into the deep. Into the dark. Scattering and killing that which dwells there. Consciousness will shine down. Antiseptic. Exposing it as the destructive power that it is. With knowledge will come power over all. A power, an ability to control and use it for purposes other than self destruction.
Aspiration perspiration, a longed for acceptance. The futile attempt to feel significant, the waiting to be received. The wish. The fear of rejection.
It is there, below the quiet. Lying right on the surface, of that below. Settled on top. Like scum on a pond, obscuring. Denying the light. Hiding that which is underneath. The fear obscures, washing out the light. Effects kept hidden. The creatures that live and thrive in the dark. Swimming about. There, light destroys the environment. There, they've evolved over time. There, they've created their own ecosystem. There, they flourish. And I have to destroy them. I, the destroyer.
Destroy it before it destroys me? Is that the resolution?
Through destruction, creation. A new Eden. But to kill….will they be integrated or obliterated? Am I the executer of the whole? Must I decide what will live and what will die?
In me. For, I am. And they, a part of me. A part of me apart from me. To integration/obliteration is survival over the long term.
Here, I rely on the relay. I somehow fit in a Venn Diagram, a niche, between Messiah and Jackal. Destroyer versus Order. And the ever present feeling of being watched by those in posterity. Not as a point of pride, but as a point of view. Although it is pride.
It’s time to appreciate the jackal. What it says is funny, not horrifying. The Jackal knows it’s all comedy. Some of it is just bad writing. Find humor in it all, you'll be a llama. Baaa
Don’t take sides. Why play a game? good versus bad, bad versus good
Perception is the difference.
We'll see
Maybe
Check out and love it.
All of these varieties…All of these ideas. Slowing down on a selected path of identity and destiny. Black and white decision making, yes or no. All binary. And one on/off switch that decides your fate. It hinges on one switch. What pressure at this moment. Right now. What will the next thought be? Deciding. Solidifying my fate. Until the day I die. How and what is decided….on…this…thought. The pressure is immense. Best to not participate. Or participate at random. On a whim. An instrument of chaos.
Just reach a bit further back. Into the mind. Make a decision.
Messiah speaks: Glorious, self-aggrandizing, beautiful. Goody-little-two-shoes. Make the excuse for yourself. Jackal, Messiah, Self. Son of man? so you say. I AM.
The deflection of everything. In. Between.
Seen as innumerable, damages and disasters, inferring signs of The Flood.
Rein homage to affairs of Estate.
Add to the rest our current comet commodity. Obliteration as an import aid. Pry the re-nascent nation up. Build a projection, an overseas exponent, in the crease of rational debt. The buried money. Chosen. Stolen.