I'm Delilah and welcome to my space! I'm still moving in but soon we'll have some neat things to look at.
My goal is to find and appreciate media (particularly games) that do something novel or can really resonate. I want to show you games you might not have heard of or you might have tossed aside thinking you weren't really missing out on anything. Or just stuff that means a lot to me.
Stories mean a lot to me. At least one game helped me accept I was trans. Some helped me explore my gender safely and made me question it even further when I thought I had it all figured out.
Many have given me hope for a better world. They've inspired me to work towards telling my own stories, so that I might one day help someone through their situation.
So thanks for stopping by! I hope you find something that makes your day a little brighter.
Cafe at The Portland art museum has Rothko no. 5 cakes. Something intellectually meaty about seeing the painting in person, and then eating a cake copy. The complete experience. Full spectrum.
For those asking: the cake was good. I was worried it was gonna be gimmicky and low quality but nah it was straight up delicious. I think the colors were different berry flavors. Honestly the whole cafe was a highlight of the visit. Good food. Lot of cute fashionable old ladies. Highly recommended.
Marathon is doing some really worthwhile things since I've last played an extraction shooter. I haven't played Arc Raiders so I wouldn't know if that game has done things similarly. My last extraction shooter was Tarkov (and that was years ago), so with that in mind:
Narrative and Lore as Reward in a Competitive Shooter
I think the biggest draw for me is the narrative to be uncovered by exploring the colony. Drip fed as it may be the bits of lore to read and listen through are interesting. Even if I don't extract with much in the way of gear, I can usually find a piece of rare salvage like the Drinkable Cheeseburger and progress that story line. And even if I don't extract at all, I'm having conversations with faction leaders and uncovering more interesting reveals with them (like what actually happened to all these colonists). The pace of the story is slow, but not slow enough that it doesn't still feel rewarding. I'm still getting regular cutscenes and developments in the story close to what I'd get in a singleplayer game.
Do the cutscenes work in a multiplayer setting? Unless you're solo-queuing you've probably got a team waiting for you to move your ass up and do another run. I think the intention, and what I've been doing, is to do runs with your friends progressing all the contracts you can and then holding off on claiming those contracts until after you're done for the night. In either case you get to wind down after a bunch of matches or have some reading material while you wait for your friends to hop into the lobby. You also get a bunch of gear which gets into my next point...
Forgiving Means Fair (and Fun) or How to Not Punt Your Newbies
Getting supplies for leveling up your factions and completing your contracts really helps give you a cushion after getting absolutely trashed by other players in the match because now you've got some gear to experiment and build with. Having skill be a hard barrier from from character building (in a game about the loot) just isn't fun when you're trying to get to grips with the game. I hope people see how this helps onboard new players to actually maintain a functioning player base. This is also the major reason why I, not normally an extraction shooter fan, can really jive with Marathon.
Getting generous rewards for just playing the game also offsets gear fear, where you're stashing everything away that you like instead of playing with it, and helps the game economy as a whole. It doesn't feel as good to kill a team of sponsored kits (the free loadouts) as it does to face a team with a fighting chance. It doesn't feel good to be stuck dying with sponsored kits either. Ideally, there should be some good wiggle room so each match feels like a curious poke at the multiplayer sandbox.
The runs feel like a sandbox because of the added influx of loot in the pool. I don't know if I'm going to run into a team with purple, blue, or green gear or what types of weapons and ordinances I'll be playing against. I learn I can expect to see anything in play. That makes fights and looting consistently exciting.
Whether you're good or bad at the game you get to see all the content. You'll certainly be rewarded with faster progression by winning with the mechanics or with a good strategy (or lucking into some good loot or a good situation), but this just adds depth to the experience, not a barrier to entry.
I like that this isn't a zero sum game. People willing to try weird strategies or ballsy plays. One team I closed in on had put so many claymores in the building that I felt like I was back to playing R6 Siege, disarming defenses while watching points of entry, while watching out for another team trying the same thing. And even if I die to some bullshit, "Hey at least I progressed my contract." This keeps the maps refreshing because players are interacting more. Speaking of the maps...
The Multiplayer Arena as Vehicle for Environmental Storytelling
A quick tangent: Not every immersive sim is that open ended. I play Dishonored and there's really two strategies, loud or quiet. And both feel boring because both are easy. After your first two playthroughs of Dishonored you quickly fall into optimal strategies with no reason to step out of them. Without any danger the world feels hollow and unreal. And what a disservice it is to that world to feel rather than immersed in it as totally above it all. This is by no means what most people's experience with Dishonored is, difficulty is subjective after all, but it is mine.
I bring all this up to say that, unlike Dishonored, here in Marathon there are actually enough varieties in approach to warrant re-exploration and plenty of incentive with progression between matches being tied to engaging with objectives in that world. I feel a bit closer to what Deathloop was trying to do, make a setting for a game of death that I slowly get to unravel and understand the mystery of.
I think this promise is the only thing that I feel hasn't quite come fully together. It doesn't feel too dissonant to uncover the details of the colony in between runs from a codex. I figure if I was in that world as a runner I'd only really have safety to do it in between runs anyway. But there is a disconnect there to where the stories being told of the location are over here and the actual location is over there without the two properly ever properly getting to meet.
It helps this is a game about scavenging. Factions will request certain materials to upgrade them, which means you do have to pay closer attention to what you're looting and where you're going to loot. It makes some intuitive sense too. Where do I get bio-samples? Go to the labs or agricultural buildings where they were growing shit. Where do I find the secret logs or evidence of the conspiracy? Go check those locked rooms that require keys or complicated steps to enter.
I wish there was a bit more to make each location identifiable and unique. Each location location looks amazing but it's all too cohesive of a landscape. Maybe that'd go against the corporate dystopia the story is going for or might make the places harder to move through, but I don't think it'd take a lot to go a long way. It feels a little too much like this colony wasn't ever lived in before it was abandoned. I'd like some trace of the human element to the interiors closer to Prey, something unmistakably human among the remains. I feel like what stories I'm chasing are less echoes of the past and more like echoes of echoes. Maybe the UESC are just a bit too good at cleaning up the evidence? That seems like too much of a stretch to me.
All to say, while all the pieces are here to do something really amazing where the narrative is firing on all cylinders with the gameplay, it just isn't quite there. Maybe it'll get closer with future seasons or matches creating a context on top of the world. But I think the only way I'm going to really cross that gap at this point is to put a lot more work to tie the pieces together. Take screenshots to tie a place to the fragments I find in the codex. But at that point I'm just doing a lore channel.
In Conclusion
I hope I've painted a clearer picture as to why I love this game, why it might be popping off with some of y'all who aren't normally into this kind of game. I do think narrative and progression are doing a lot of work to make a fun game here. The game has good style and execution where it counts, in the gunplay and map-design. I just want a bit more from a shooter if it's going to be something I focus on, and for my complaints, I think Marathon strikes the right balance. This won't be the last I gush about this game, but it's probably the last I'm doing here for a while.
When I picked up Purrfect Apawcalypse, it was because the store page checked three boxes for me:
[X] Cute furries
[X] Gay
[X] Nonbinary MC
Well, I've finally completed the trilogy and I am pleasantly surprised! I did not expect just how much I would come to adore these characters. It's one of those games where the cast of characters feels like a group of friends you would want to be a part of. I can't get too into it without spoiling it, but this dialogue is on point! It has good comedic timing. None of it feels like fluff. Each game is short and sweet, most of your time is spent trying out different routes and sequences hopefully get the best ending (and make everyone happy). Olive is a delightful MC that plays off of rest of the cast really well. They are not strong or smart (if they were they might not die quite as much) but they are compassionate to everyone they meet, and that combination makes them someone you want to protect and that believably the other characters would too. The game is spooky but not scary. These characters are in an horrific situation, but the game largely doesn't acknowledge it. The game leans to the comedic and silly side of the situation most of the time so the horror never gets a chance to set in. The situation largely serves to push these unique characters together so they be cute and gay.
If you've got a couple days (it takes about five hours to complete the trilogy with the first game being the shortest), don't mind seeing these characters getting murdered a few times (I recommend checking the game's screenshots if you're unsure), and would enjoy figuring out how these silly dog (and cat) people survive a demon apocalypse and live happily ever after I recommend giving that first game a shot! It's only five dollars and you can play it on your phone!
I think what I appreciate the most about Wanderstop aside from its potent themes, gorgeous art style, cozy gameplay and wonderful characters is the fact that it subverted my expectation of it being a game where Alta would fix everyone elses problems and then herself.
But no, you can't save Gerald, you can't stop Ren, you can't 'fix' any of these people just like you can't magically fix yourself. It's a game that truly showcases healing as this non-linear messy ordeal that it actually is. Alta is not there to be the typical protagonist who saves the day. She's a person with her own problems and does what is in her power to do. The ending of this game at first I pegged as unsatisfying but now do I appreciate how that's very much the point.
There is no magic 'overcome your demons permanently' option for Alta or for me or for any of us. It is a constant clash of choices day upon day for the rest of our lives.
I found out about the game Wanderstop
It was a very beautiful and calming game that I came across at the right time ,during burnout
I was also able to empathize very deeply with the main character, since her problems were very close to me as a person with OCD
I came across this in my reading and I can't help but think it fits perfectly for how Davey Wreden (in the game) The Beginner's Guide, characterizes his relationship to Coda. I don't think it's too much of a stretch.
("Coda" by Jason Shinder, in The Art of Losing: Poems of Grief and Healing)
How do you interpret the House level (the one with the housekeeper and the repetitive chores)?
I find it interesting that this is the first level Davey specifically mentions that Coda "called him up to see," which Davey interprets as Coda simply being proud of that level and wanting to share it. However, it's a bit of a theme that Coda's work is frequently misinterpreted by Davey, and it seems to me that this Coda is commenting on their relationship as friends through the chat system and (would be) endless chores.
Additionally, what do you make of the opening to Mobius, the game where it tells you to keep your eyes closed, when doing so makes it nigh impossible to win? That's one of the ones I think about the most when this game comes up - leaving the player in ignorance of their impending demise, surrounded by a few horrified mute NPCs who've gone blind, everyone about to be killed, the whole thing stuck in a loop. It's all very interesting, though I'm not sure if it's a simple comment on how Davey ought to respect Coda's work despite what he might miss or if there's something deeper there.
(I'll be honest and say that this game makes me feel bad for asking about interpretation considering that it's partly about an artist asking you NOT to overanalyze their work/themselves - makes it very hard to talk about).
Oh, and happy birthday!
Thank you anon! Sorry for getting to this late, it's been a busy week and I wanted to make sure I gave myself enough time to think through my response, because I just love this game that much.
As a bit of a disclaimer, I tend to be of the opinion that Coda didn't start making their games to be about Davey and their relationship until The Machine (which in my mind Coda undoubtedly made after Davey shared their games, not before), or maybe Island. Like, Machine and Tower are so clearly messages to Davey, obvious in their intent in a way most of the rest of Coda's games really aren't, and so between that and Coda's whole point at the end being that they wish Davey could just "let [the games] be what they are", I prefer to just take the rest of the games at face value in terms of Coda's intent (or, more aptly, lack thereof).
That being said, I definitely think the real-life Davey Wreden intended the games to reflect all the stuff going on in the narrative between Davey and Coda, so we can look at both of these games through that angle. And I'd encourage you not to feel bad about reading into the game and "overanalzying" it, or asking others' readings. Wreden himself has said he didn't want the game to make people feel that way. It's about being careful and consientious when drawing conclusions, minding the separation between the work and the author, and recognizing the difference between what's in the game and what you bring to do it.
With all that out of the way...
House
I partly agree with the idea that the player and the cleaner NPC reflect the Davey - Coda relationship. The cleaner reflects Coda in how they find joy from this activity that, through its looping, seems to have no clear purpose. And I think it's worth noting that these endless chores are portrayed as something earnestly enjoyable, not a burden - after all, this game was made in the period where Coda was, to quote Davey, "grossly happy".
On the other hand, if you ask the cleaner how they got into this job, they talk about how a friend dragged them into it and then say,
Never did like cleaning my own home. I might've got some demons I ain't ready to face yet.
If you combine this quote with the cleaner's later suggestion that "one's house is a lot like one's soul", then we see the cleaner as someone who tries to fix other people's problems because they don't know how to deal with their own. Aka, game Davey to a T.
This is the one game Coda called Davey up and asked him to come look at, and I think that's because it made Coda happy, and they thought it might make Davey happy too. But right as Davey cuts the game off, the cleaner shows a bit of awareness and asks the player, "Do you enjoy this?" Coda is not so naive not to realize that their games aren't for everyone. (I mean, in a literal sense, they're not meant to be for anyone but themself.)
And clearly Davey didn't really get the point of this game. For one, there's the way he describes Coda's happiness in this period of time as "gross", and how most of his praise for this game is phrased more as "I'm happy Coda liked it" than "I liked this one". Has a "I don't get it but you do you" type of energy. And then there's the fact that he bases his interpretation of the game entirely on a change he made. He cuts off the game and says the point, of both this and the puzzle doors, is that "you can't stay in the dark space for too long ... sooner or later you have to pick up and move", knowing full well that Coda made the game to loop forever. To Davey, they are just chores.
(We'll get back to why he didn't get it at the end of this post.)
Mobius
The framing of this game is certainly interesting, though I'm not sure I have a distinct Take on it. I def think your idea about how "Davey ought to respect Coda's work despite what he might miss" makes sense. It reminds me of Davey's last line of narration in Ready, Set, Fish, the game that introduces the puzzle doors and then has all the hidden hallways floating in space:
Most of the time you don’t get to know what you’re missing, or that you’re missing anything. That’s not your role as a player. So if your role here is not to understand, then what is it?
The puzzle doors themselves can be vaguely tied back to the idea of blindness, with how the way to get through to them is to lock yourself in the dark space between with the blind faith that a new solution will become apparent. Maybe that's why the threat in Mobius is the puzzle door, something Davey notably does not comment on at all.
Blind faith as an idea also appears in the final prison game, where the past you just has to trust that talking and being sincere will help them escape. And that ending parallels Mobius, where the solution is also telling the truth. The motif of sincerity and truth, as a subset of the game's themes of communication and perspective, really is very prominent in the second half of the game, starting with Lecture... but that's a whole other discussion.
The idea that you're not supposed to be able to "win" Mobius while abiding by its rules is certainly not a new thing for Coda's games either. It's famously one of the things he and Davey most disagreed on. You can even see it in House, where Davey forces an end condition, a win state. Davey is all about solutions, about moving towards a goal, about progress, whereas Coda is more than willing to stay in place, to just be, with no rush toward any destination.
Coda enjoys the dark spaces. Davey puts lampposts in them.
Computers are so scary what if I accidentally hit F12 in a steam game and it takes a screenshot. What if I press shift + F12 while in word and accidentally save my document 😖
If you had to learn what the F keys on your computer do through me reblogging this post, then I'm glad you did. Computer literacy is not a skill that gets taught anymore, and it is absolutely one that needs to be taught in order to be learned. Don't ever feel bad for not knowing something, but ☝️ don't ever stop learning learning about your environment, the tools you use, and especially the people around you
I Saw the TV Glow is uniquely trans horror but it is a kind movie. I mean, if the horror resonates with you then what it's scaring you to do is pretty important.
All I knew going in was it was a kind of scary and weird movie with heavy trans themes. I still think that's an accurate description, though I want to reiterate that it is absolutely a trans movie that if you're trans will fuck you up but probably in a good way. Being in the closet (to yourself and others) does do its damage, but there is still time.
