Most people are inherently filled with goodness, but each unique in their positives and their flaws. It is hard to imagine one of a good nature wanting to take advantage of another, and it is probably not the case. People, of course, try and use family or friends for many things, but what I mean is that no good person would willingly try to take advantage of another in a way that harms the other and only benefits the self. Within the context of this, it is the hardest thing to see misunderstanding between two people. We are more optimistic in youth, perhaps more easily trusting. Somehow, it appears that along the path of life, people may become more cynical of others’ intentions. While we want the good for others, we are not without selfish tendencies. Relationships are so complex. Obedience, loyalty, love, respect - everyone seems to have slightly unique glasses with which to view these. Ego is the root of all evil. When ego is touched, often due to misunderstanding or certain things not going according to expectations, it brings out the selfishness in us, and with that, a stress is created with a target we choose to exert our selfishness on, usually on someone close. The nature of relationships dictate that thoughts are often clouded under pressure, and the sage advice one may give others they cannot follow themselves under such circumstances. One act of selfishness creates another in the person affected, and that person in turn is selfish to another. Like dominoes, a chain of people are affected. One misunderstanding creates another, and another person becomes cynical along the way. Another person loses the inherent trust they have in others.
We like to think that we are unselfish, but when tested, we all often bend or crack under pressure, and we cannot but blame the issues we face immediately on others rather than a situation created by misunderstanding or different information with different people. We cannot see the test from God and allow our selfishness to take control of our interactions. We do not become disillusioned, but rather we are illusioned into thinking that others may not be considering for us as we are considering for them.
Things ebb and flow. Sometimes we are severely tested, and sometimes we are at ease. Who really knows how we do under such tests given each person is so unique? None of us do. We will probably see how each person acted under each circumstance, and given each person’s personal benchmark, they will judge how each acted under the circumstances. There are ideal ways to act under situations, but not all of us will, and not all of the time, act in the ideal manner. We are human and err. There is, however, something we can all take once the situation passes - what we learn, and most often, we learn that things stem simply from misunderstanding. Had we had more patience and faith, we would see the true intentions of the others, the limitations they face and their personal circumstances. And perhaps we will find that people acted selfishly, but at the very least we will know why they were driven to it, and how to help them out of it. What is our loss is that we give up on patience too quickly, on understanding too quickly, on trust too quickly. The tests in this world are designed to make us lose these, and we repeatedly fail, and the world becomes more and more selfish.
There is so much strife, misunderstanding, between good people everywhere. It doesn’t have to stay that way. It takes one person to hold on to patience, trust and understanding, and perhaps others will eventually see and follow. Perhaps people will learn to forgive each other, and accept the improved nature of each other. Perhaps something much more beautiful will grow out of it than if these struggles had never been.
There is also something else we can learn from such things, and that is to not overreact when seeing a loved one distressed. It is in our nature to be drawn to their side and see a blurred version of right and wrong. What was exemplified by great people in the past is to stay calm under such circumstances until the storm can pass, for everyone sees a little more clearly and thinks a little more calmly once it passes. Overreacting during the storm may not leave room to be able to do anything after. We will be lucky to survive a few storms, but we must learn quickly, or be carried away.
I will remember these lessons, always.
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