Lost in Everything

[actuallysara]

New/old video of Connor Storrie and Hudson Williams BTS of their GQ photoshoot (via GQItalia)

[thatonekimgirl]

Heated Rivalry || the full 'first time' sex scene without music

[cuntessa-lestat]

literally how it feels

[actuallysara]

Connor Storrie @ The Late Night with Seth Meyers | January 12, 2026 | PART 1 (PART 2)

[couldneverhurtusnow]

late night with seth meyers (x)

talking about how his dad showed him the shining when he was 6

[actuallysara]

Connor Storrie @ The Late Night with Seth Meyers | January 12, 2026 | PART 2 (PART 1)

[ilyaslouis]

tongue

[glennethph]

Speaking in tongues.

[bigboyhammerhead]

The more I think about it, the more I realize how much I relate to Shane because of the relationships I was in during most of my late teens and very early twenties—and also as someone with an anxiety disorder on the spectrum.

I unconsciously chose people who didn’t immediately seem to like me back, which thrilled the ADHD brain that loved the adrenaline from the anxiety, but also satisfied my embarrassingly real need to replace the love I didn’t feel like I got from my dad (yeah, shut up, I know) and going after men who seemed hard to earn the love of meant that, if I /did/earn that love, then I was clearly Good and Worthy.

Unfortunately, that also meant choosing people who didn’t fulfill my needs, for whom I was constantly making myself smaller in order to keep them happy and thus keep them around, and who seemed happy to have me operate that way. It made the moments when I did receive affection hit harder, but it meant I never felt secure or confident in the relationship—I was always worried they’d leave me for someone else, or decide I was boring, or worse, that I was too much—and the moments when I was unsure or having to push my needs to the side were heartbreaking.

Shane is, from the moment he and Ilya first hook up, in that space. He shoves his own needs down (not asking Ilya to stay, not fighting back after his initial reaction when Ilya says he’s leaving without getting Shane off). He tries to be cool, but so clearly betrays his own fear and desire (you can hear it and see it when he responds “…No?” to Ilya’s “I would not leave you like that”. He’s afraid to expect more).

He doesn’t ask for more than he’s given. He makes his own needs small. He bottles up his emotions until they explode, (because it’s either that or express his needs healthily, and it doesn’t feel like he believes Ilya would ever respond positively to that), as we see in ep. 2 in the bathroom scene, when he finally breaks and attempts to force Ilya’s hand by asking “what the fuck do you actually want from me?”. Something I had to train myself out of was thinking that was a normal way to communicate, but it felt cathartic to have a reason to verbalize the pain I’d feel in relationships when my needs weren’t being met.

Even moreso in Ep. 2, the entire post-sex scene shows Shane doing his best to make himself small in order to please Ilya. He says nothing about the cigarette indoors. He has a fleeting moment of confidence when he asks Ilya about going to Russia, but gets shut down (not intentionally on Ilya’s part, but the emotional bid goes unnoticed and Shane retreats back into his shell). And worst, IMO, is the elevator scene where he types and then deletes “We didn’t even kiss”. I fully burst into tears watching that scene because I know exactly how heartbroken Shane is feeling there.

I could go into a lot of detail on Ep.4 with Rose, but the entire scene at the club speaks for itself, honestly. But man, the pre- and during-tuna melt couch conversations are peak examples. Ilya is trying to sus out Shane’s sexuality and in his own way assure Shane that he’s the only one, really, for Ilya—but Shane is too uncertain and anxious (and autistic) to pick up what Ilya’s putting down, which results in yet another painfully familiar few minutes of Shane shutting down and giving short, clipped responses that clearly show how worried and hurt he’s feeling while listening to Ilya seemingly talk about how many women he’s been with, how much he enjoys being with them, how he has someone else special, and how he plans to find yet another person. That fleeting moment of happiness on Shane’s face when Ilya goes from having been several feet away on the couch to holding him close and petting his hair? To me that expression is the “this is what I’ve been wanting, and what I wish it could be like all the time. Maybe he finally likes me back the way I like him”. I kind want to read into the fact that Shane only lets himself have a few moments of comfort before going for Ilya’s crotch, because I could certainly believe Shane feels like sex is what’s keeping Ilya with him, but also those two are both horny as hell, so I won’t make any hard (haha) statements. But man, Shane panicking and leaving after Ilya says his name? Literally like the one scene where they switch roles—Ilya having to convince him to stay, trying to acts-of-service Shane, and then panicking when he realizes he’s gone too far, shown too much, and seeing Shane pull away.

Episode 5 sees the both of them happier because they’re actually regularly having their needs met (feeling desired by the other and having emotional bids answered) for the most part! I kinda think Shane wouldn’t have asked Ilya to the cottage in a previous episode—only now has he gotten enough moments of confirmation that he won’t be rejected that he feels like he can be vulnerable and not get hurt.

Episode six tho, man…man. The couch scene. Shane being embarrassed that he probably won’t last long, and then being unable to let Ilya’s response of “same” go pass unremarked upon. Because the expectation is that Ilya is still regularly hooking up with other people, that Shane is still not a higher priority in Ilya’s heart. But “same” means, wait…does Ilya…does Ilya like him back? Does he feel the same way? It’s been months! It’s been months since they were last together! And he hasn’t seen anyone? Oh my god?

Yeah. Yeah. Me too, Shane, me too. Meeee fucking toooooooo.

Anyway justice for every anxious preoccupied hopeless romantic. Find a partner who fulfills your needs and communicates, it’s WAY better I promise <3

[ink-splotch]

What if Harry Potter, the chosen one, had turned out to be a squib, how do you think history would have turned out differently?

It was Mrs. Figg who suspected first.

She noticed many things, sitting on her side of her fence with her cats chasing butterflies and nuzzling her ankles, Mundungus and the other watchers dropping by for tea now and then.

Mrs. Figg noticed that Petunia was a nosy bit of work with insecurities hanging from her every harsh angle. She noticed when Dudley learned the word MINE– the whole neighborhood noticed that one. She noticed that Vernon glared at owls.

She noticed that when Petunia gave Harry a truly horrendous haircut one year, it grew back in at a normal rate. Harry was uneven and weird-looking for ages, hiding under beanies when he could.

When Mrs. Figg had Harry over for carefully miserable afternoons of babysitting, she noticed nothing moved that shouldn’t. He didn’t accidentally make flowers out of fallen leaves, or levitate anything during tantrums, or turn toys funny colors.

Mrs. Figg called up her mother, interrupting the wizarding bridge game she was winning against the nursing home staff, and asked her how she had known, decades back, that her youngest daughter was a squib.

When Albus Dumbledore received Mrs. Figg’s letter he wrote back a polite thank you and then went to talk with Minerva McGonagall, who inhaled sharply in horror when he told her the news.

Finally, McGonagall gave a gathered sigh. “I suppose we can ask one of the wizarding families to homeschool him,” she said. “We can’t have the Boy Who Lived not knowing about his own world.”  

“No, he’ll come to Hogwarts,” said Dumbledore.

“Hogwarts is not a place for–” Her voice fell. “–squibs, Albus.”

Dumbledore shook his head. “Harry must be taught.”

“Be taught what, Albus?”

But Dumbledore just sighed and offered her a lemon drop.

Years later, the owls and the letters came to 4 Privet Drive. The Dursleys ran, dragging Harry with them, and the letters and one stubborn gamekeeper followed– none of this would change with a magicless Harry.

When Hagrid asked Harry in that little cabin on that little rock in the middle of the sea if weird things always happened around him, Harry couldn’t tell him about vanishing glass and setting captive snakes free, about ending up somehow on the school roof, or growing his hair out overnight.  

“Strange things always happen around you, don’ they?”

“Um,” said Harry, racking his brain. “Well… I live in a cupboard under the stairs…”

Harry could tell him about how snakes sometimes talked back, because that had never been Harry’s magic, but when he did Hagrid just blanched and changed the subject.

Hagrid held out hope, even against Dumbledore’s quiet warning explanations, until they made it to Ollivander’s Wands. Harry marveled at Diagon Alley, got his hands shaken in the Leaky, pressed his nose up against shop windows. Hagrid watched the scant boy– looked at James’s messy hair, Lily’s eyes, Harry’s own wandering gaze– and he wondered how this boy could be anything but magical.

In the wand shop, Ollivander said, “James Potter, yes… mahogany, eleven inches. Pliable. A powerful wand for Transfiguration.” He said, “And your mother, Lily…  strong in Charms work, ten and… yes, ten and a quarter, willow, swishy.”

Harry picked up stick after wooden stick. They remained just that– wood with bits of feather or scale or hair. Harry wondered if the creatures who gave these offerings were still alive– if they were given or taken. What did it do to your wand when they died? He waved a maplewood wand (unicorn hair, eleven inches) and a gust from the door opening blew some receipts off the counter.

“Well, said Ollivander. “I think that’s as close as we’re likely to get.”

He sent them out with the maplewood. Hagrid bought Harry a snowy owl and a fudge sundae and tried not make it too obvious that these were condolence gifts. The next day the Prophet’s headlines read: The Boy Who Lived– A Squib? Various magical medical experts weighed in on how it might have happened. Fingers were pointed at childhood trauma, at his upbringing, at his family lineage.

Harry still met Ron on the train– Ron was still smudge-nosed and Harry still bought enough candy to share. When Molly had helped him through the platform entrance, her voice had been a little softer, a little more pitying– but it was still better than the laughter that had been in his aunt and uncle’s voices when they dropped him here to find a platform they didn’t think existed.

Hermione Granger dropped by their compartment, looking for Neville’s toad, but got distracted when she spotted Harry. “I’ve read about you! In my books, and in the paper,” she said. “You’re the Boy Who Lived, and you’re a squib.”

Harry sank down in his seat. Ron hid Scabbers under a candy wrapper.

“Squibs have never been allowed in Hogwarts,” Hermione announced. “According to Hogwarts, A History, squibs try to sneak in now and then– the furthest anyone’s ever gotten is to the Sorting Hat before they got found out.” At eleven, Hermione still believed in expulsion being worse than death. Her voice was thrumming with sympathetic horror.

“But they already found out about me,” Harry said, alarmed.

“It’s alright, mate,” said Ron. “You’re Harry Potter. Oy, Granger,” he added. “What’s this Hat? Fred and George were trying to sell me some story about having to fight a mountain troll to get your House…”

Harry sat back and watched the countryside rush by. Yes, he was Harry Potter– his aunt’s useless sister’s useless child, the boy in the lumpy hand-me-down sweaters who named the spiders who lived in his cupboard. And here, in new world, he was apparently useless too.

When they got to Hogwarts, Harry clenched his fists and stood in line with the other first years. He barely twitched at the ghosts or Peeves, just stared ahead and thought about how far he would get before they turned him around and sent him back to Vernon and Petunia.

They opened the Great Hall doors. They called the first years one by one. Harry clenched his teeth and walked up to the Hat when they called his name.

As he turned to sit down on the stool, he really caught sight of the Hall for the first time– the hovering candles, the big wooden tables, the black robes that swallowed the light. Translucent ghosts gossiped with the students beside them. The paintings on the far walls– were they moving?

Harry’s jaw had unclenched, falling open. His fists curled open, curving around the stool’s seat as he leaned forward to stare. If this was it, if this was as far as he’d get in this world, then he wanted to drink it all in. The candles were floating, in mid-air.

The Hat dropped down over his eyes and blocked out the light.

Well, said the dry voice that had been hollering House placements all night. What do we have here?

Ron had been begging for not-Slytherin. Draco from the robes shop had been scornful of Hufflepuff, desperate in his disdain. Neville had begged for Hufflepuff, sure he was not brave enough for Gryffindor.

Please, thought Harry. Don’t send me back.

Lees verder

[koreanbreeze]

Routledge Masterpost

Here are all of the Routledge Grammar PDFs that I currently have. I’ll be updating whenever I find more. Let me know if there’s one in particular you want me to look for^^

Last Update: 2017/04/24

Fixed Intermediate Japanese: A Grammar and Workbook link 

Added books for Czech, English, French, French Creoles, Persian, Ukranian

Added more books in Cantonese, Danish, Greek, Polish, Spanish, Swedish

Arabic

Arabic: An Essential Grammar Basic Arabic: A Grammar and Workbook Modern Written Arabic: A Comprehensive Grammar

Cantonese

Basic Cantonese: A Grammar and Workbook Cantonese: A Comprehensive Grammar Intermediate Cantonese: A Grammar and Workbook

Czech

Czech: An Essential Grammar

Danish

Danish: A Comprehensive Grammar Danish: An Essential Grammar

Dutch

Basic Dutch: A Grammar and Workbook Dutch: A Comprehensive Grammar Dutch: An Essential Grammar Intermediate Dutch: A Grammar and Workbook

English

English: An Essential Grammar

Finnish

Finnish: An Essential Grammar

French

Modern French Grammar Workbook

French Creoles

French Creoles: A Comprehensive and Comparative Grammar

German

Basic German: A Grammar and Workbook German: An Essential Grammar Intermediate German: A Grammar and Workbook

Greek

Greek: A Comprehensive Grammar Greek: An Essential Grammar of the Modern Language

Hindi

Hindi: An Essential Grammar

Hebrew

Modern Hebrew: An Essential Grammar

Hungarian

Hungarian: An Essential Grammar

Indonesian

Indonesian: A Comprehensive Grammar

Irish

Basic Irish: A Grammar and Workbook Intermediate Irish: A Grammar and Workbook

Italian

Basic Italian: A Grammar and Workbook

Japanese

Basic Japanese: A Grammar and Workbook Intermediate Japanese: A Grammar and Workbook Japanese: A Comprehensive Grammar

Korean

Basic Korean: A Grammar and Workbook Intermediate Korean: A Grammar and Workbook Korean: A Comprehensive Grammar

Latin

Intensive Basic Latin: A Grammar and Workbook Intensive Intermediate Latin: A Grammar and Workbook

Latvian

Latvian: An Essential Grammar

Mandarin Chinese

Basic Chinese: A Grammar and Workbook Intermediate Chinese: A Grammar and Workbook Chinese: A Comprehensive Grammar Chinese: An Essential Grammar

Norwegian

Norwegian: An Essential Grammar

Persian

Basic Persian: A Grammar and Workbook Intermediate Persian: A Grammar and Workbook

Polish

Basic Polish: A Grammar and Workbook Intermediate Polish: A Grammar and Workbook Polish: A Comprehensive Grammar Polish: An Essential Grammar

Portuguese

Portuguese: An Essential Grammar

Romanian

Romanian: An Essential Grammar

Russian

Basic Russian: A Grammar and Workbook Intermediate Russian: A Grammar and Workbook

Serbian

Serbian: An Essential Grammar

Spanish

Basic Spanish: A Grammar and Workbook Intermediate Spanish: A Grammar and Workbook Spanish: An Essential Grammar

Swahili

Swahili Grammar and Workbook

Swedish

Swedish: A Comprehensive Grammar Swedish: An Essential Grammar

Thai

Thai: An Essential Grammar

Turkish

Turkish: A Comprehensive Grammar

Ukrainian

Ukrainian: A Comprehensive Grammar

Urdu

Urdu: An Essential Grammar

Welsh

Modern Welsh: A Comprehensive Grammar

Yiddish

Basic Yiddish: A Grammar and Textbook

Hope this helps everyone out a bit! Happy studying^^

-koreanbreeze

[living-languages]

oh lord i’m about to fail school for this

[learnnewthings]

[medicalbasics]

Know Your Surgical Terms - NCLEX Quiz #nursingschool #nurse #rn #nursing #nurses #nursingstudent #resources #study #inspiration #school #tips

[medicalbasics]

NCLEX Pharm Med Suffixes #nursingschool #nurse #rn #nursing #nurses #nursingstudent #resources #study #inspiration #school #tips

[er-cryptid]

Free Health Science Resources

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Rahul Gladwin

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[er-cryptid]

Free Health Science Resources

Anatomy and Physiology

Anatomy and Physiology Textbook

Anatomy and Physiology I Lecture Notes

Anatomy and Physiology I Lecture Notes and Powerpoint Slides

Anatomy and Physiology II Lecture Notes and Powerpoint Slides

Anatomy and Physiology II Lecture Notes

Anatomy and Physiology I and II Lecture Notes

Human Anatomy and Physiology II Lecture Notes

Human Anatomy and Physiology II Summary

Anatomy and Physiology (Alpena High School)

Anatomy and Physiology (Mrs. Chou)

Human Anatomy and Physiology – Heart Notes

Human Anatomy and Physiology – Blood Notes

Human Anatomy and Physiology – Respiratory System

Human Anatomy and Physiology – Endocrine System

Medical Terminology

Medical Terminology on Memrise

Medical Terminology (based on textbook) on Memrise

Medical Terminology A - Z on Memrise

Online Medical Dictionary (with Search Feature)

Medical Terminology (Des Moines University)

Webster’s Medical Dictionary

Medicine in Other Languages

Medical Spanish Themed List

Anatomy in Spanish

Medical Spanish on Memrise

French Medical Terms

Medical French Themed Lists

Japanese Medical Terms on Memrise

Face and Body Parts in Japanese

Symptoms in Japanese

Pharmacy Terms in Japanese

Emergency Medicine

Mosby’s EMT Lecture Notes

Emergency Medical Responder on Memrise

EMT Test Prep Study Guides

First Aid Textbook

Wound Care

Pathology

Diseases and Conditions A - Z

Symptoms A - Z

Tests and Procedures A - Z

Medical Syndromes on Memrise

Muscle Pathophysiology

Kaplan Pathology Textbook

Pathology Lecture Notes

Intro to Human Pathology Lecture Notes

Microbiology

Microbiology Notes

Microbiology Powerpoint

Microbiology Lecture Notes

Introduction to Food Microbiology (requires free sign-in)

Microbiology Lecture Notes by HCC

General Microbiology Notes (requires download)

General Microbiology Powerpoint (requires download)

Medical Microbiology for Dentistry Textbook (requires download)

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Introduction to Parasitology Powerpoint

Medical Parasitology Lecture Notes

Parasitology Notes by Week

Basics of Medical Parasitology

Medical Parasitology (requires free sign-in)

Veterinary Parasitology

Parasitology Lecture Outlines

Virology

Introduction to Virology Powerpoint

Virology Table

Virology Textbook

Virus Explorer

Virology Powerpoints

Virology Powerpoint (Abdul-Azeez Anjorin)

Virology (MBChB Resource Materials)

General Properties of Viruses Powerpoint

Miscellaneous Viruses Powerpoint

Pharmacology

Drugs and Supplements A - Z

Principles of Pharmacology Lecture Notes

Pharmacology Infographics

Pharmacology Notes

Pharmacology Powerpoint

Pharmacology Notes (Adam Hollingworth)

Neurotoxins

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Bacteriology Textbook

Bacteria Metadatabase

Mycobacteria Powerpoint (requires log-in)

Pathogenesis of Bacterial Infection (requires log-in)

Bacterial Infections (requires log-in)

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Biology Textbook

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Concepts of Biology Textbook

AP Biology Notes

Biology Glossary

Biology Documents

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Campbell’s Biology Powerpoints

Campbell’s Biology Outlines

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Forensic Psychology

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Forensic Science Documents

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Nutrition

Vitamins and Minerals

Proteins in Nutrition

Proteins

Sports Nutrition

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Nutrition and Digestion Biology Notes

Principles of Human Nutrition Lecture Notes

Basic Nutrition Lecture Notes

Nutrition Notes

Nutrition – United Nations

Sports Medicine

Sports Medicine Powerpoints

Athletic Training Program Powerpoints

Specific Sports Injuries Lecture Notes

Sports Medicine Powerpoints (Miami Dade)

Sports Medicine Handouts

Sports Medicine Presentations (USUHS)

Sports Medicine Lecture Notes (WUHS)

Sports Medicine Handbook

Performance Enhancement Lecture Notes

Athletic Training and Sports Medicine Lecture Notes

Exercise Physiology Lecture Notes

Exercise Physiology Lecture Notes (Windsor)

Basic Exercise Physiology Powerpoint

Clinical Exercise Physiology Notes

Exercise Physiology Powerpoint (Columbia)

Active and Healthy Lifestyles

Sport Coaching and Psychology

Psychology of Sports Injury

Chemistry of Sports

Exercise and Mental Health

Ecology and Evolution

Ecology and Ecosystems

Ecology

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Ecology Glossary

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Plant Structure Powerpoint (requires log-in)

Introduction to Ecosystems

Atmosphere, Oceans, and Environmental Change

Global Warming

Science of Evolution

The Evolving Universe

Co-Evolution

Evolution, Ecology, and Behavior

Evolution Through Natural Selection

Artificial Selection and Domestication

Environmental Politics and Law

Epidemiology

Infection and Immunity

Introduction to Epidemiology Powerpoint

CDC’s Intro to Epidemiology Powerpoint

Epidemics in Western Society

Epidemiology: An Introduction

Influenza: Case Study

Vaccination

Overview of Epidemiology Notes

Basic Epidemiology Textbook

Principles of Epidemiology in Public Health Textbook

Public Health Approaches to Infectious Disease

Health Trends in America - Statistics

Chemistry

Organic Chemistry I

Organic Chemistry II

Chemistry Textbook

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Chemistry Notes

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Chemistry, Organic Chemistry, and Stoichiometry Notes

Psychology

Intro to Psychology

Introduction to Psychology Notes

AP Psychology Chapter Outlines

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Psychology Lecture Notes

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Major Psychologists in History

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Introduction to Social Work

Introduction to Child Psychology

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[er-cryptid]

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[er-cryptid]

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