Bringing this back because NOTHING is more hot than someone with a clearly defined fetish I can play into. I want you stuttering and begging for it as I'm completely unaffected.
Have I ever mentioned that I hate misogyny, racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism islamaphobia, xenophobia, and anti-Semitism?
Have I ever mentioned that if you accept or participate in bigotry that I don't want you following me or interacting with me? That I think you're as repugnant as your beliefs?
Have I ever mentioned that if you're a conservative or centrist I don't want you on my blog?
Have I ever mentioned that I don't want Trump supporters, Reform or Conservative party supporters, Israel government supporters, terfs, American Republicans, genocide deniers, or any type of fascist interacting with me?
I have mentioned it? Good. I'm saying it again. Conservatives are stupid, unattractive, unsafe partners, and awful at sex. They also can't read and don't actually believe in consent. They can fuck right off.
I'm convinced 90% of these Tumblr Daddy, "women are toys/property" blogs don't actually give a shit about healthy kink or relationships. They just want to abuse women under the guise of "kink."
To the submissives in my orbit:
Wanting to be beat, choked, even CNC? That's all FINE. Follow your bliss, do your role play, have your fantasies.
But stay away from these creeps. Do not engage in kink play with people you haven't met. Do not engage in kink play with people who do not respect you as a Person. Do not engage in kink play with people who "don't do aftercare." (Kink without aftercare is Abuse, full stop.)
Real, actual Dominant-types will open with vanilla conversation, be fine with sharing pictures and information about themselves, will meet you in a public, vanilla space before asking for your submission. They will negotiate scenes and dynamics, learn your limits and triggers. And they will engage in your preferred aftercare method.
Learn the red flags of fake Doms. Fake Doms are Abusers, not kinksters. Take care of yourselves, babes.
This isn’t a joke… kink is NOT for kids. I want absolutely nothing to do with you if you’re under 18 OR if you think it’s okay to bring minors into the world of kink.
“I could probably write an entire post on good dirty talk.” please do 🙏🏻
Ok bet, welcome to Dirty Talk 101 with Professor Cala. I am going to answer this question from the perspective of “I am fucking someone, being fucked, or leading up to one of those things. What do I say and how do I say it?”, cause there’s a lot more stuff beyond that, and I only have so much space and brain cells!
What do I say?
As I talked about in my last ask post, a bit part of the skill of dirty talk is just the skill of yapping about nothing. Basically asking, how do you say the same thing a bunch of different ways? But then we have to zoom back even further, which is “what do I even say in the first place? What thing am I trying to say a bunch of different ways?”
So, we can start like this: if you are leading up to sex, talk about what you want to do, or want them to do to you. Also, compliment them! It can be as simple as “I want to kiss you so bad” or “I can’t wait to have my hands on you”, or get as detailed and explicit as you like. Honestly, the more detailed about it you get, the more material you have to work with. Start more vague/general to get comfortable, but then try to work up to be more specific. “I can’t wait to have my tongue on your clit” is hotter to hear than “I can’t wait to eat you out”, because it appeals more to specific senses, and creates a clearer scene for people to imagine. Feel free to vary general and specific statements, too!
If you are currently having the sex, you can also talk about what you are enjoying, and what you want more of. Otherwise, the same things apply as above - the more specific, the better it is and the more you have to work with. Compliment your partner. Tell them what specific acts/body parts feel good. Ask for things. Repeat things. Literally just say “fuck” or “god” or something a bunch of times. Vary it up. Combine all of the above, and you get something like this:
“God, you’re so hot. You’re so fucking hot. Your cock feels so good inside me. I love the way it fills me up. Will you please choke me? Please, please choke me. I need your hand around my neck. Fuck yes. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, that’s so good.”
Tada, dirty talk content.
Okay, but how do I make it sound sexy?
If you want a practical answer, it would be this: slowing down your voice and pitching it down a bit makes it sexy in a more powerful/dommy way, while speeding up, pitching it up and adding lil whine to it gives it that more desperate/subby quality. Try it!
The other answer is confidence. And no one likes this answer because confidence is an intangible thing that you have to learn to develop yourself. Confidence isn’t just about projecting arrogance (although, that can also be hot), it’s about learning to commit to things and recover gracefully from missteps. You’re gonna say weird things sometimes, you’re gonna stumble over your words, you’re gonna have to suddenly pause to deal with a logistical issue, and then get back into it again. The less of a big deal you can make those things, the easier it is to dirty talk, because you won’t be overthinking it so much. Getting into a good dirty talk flow requires you to stop overanalyzing, and just say whatever you’re gonna say.
But Cala, I feel so awkward doing this
I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this: there is no way around this feeling. We just gotta feel it. Sex is weird and awkward and gross, that’s part of what makes it good. Give yourself permission to be awkward about it. Dirty talk is a skill, and it gets easier and less awkward with time. Before you know it, the words won’t even matter - you’ll be able to recite your grocery list in way that turns on your partner. But you gotta be willing to be awkward and embarrassing about it.
And of course: practice
Practice on your own, practice with your partner(s), say it, type it, record it, read/listen to other people’s dirty talk. Do it when you’re getting off. Do it when you’re not getting off. Get a sense of what you like and don’t. Literally just have fun with it. I like to turn on my dirty talk voice randomly, even when I’m alone sometimes, because it’s just stupid and fun. It doesn’t have to be serious.
That is my basic overview of dirty talk! There are more levels to it, I think, that get a bit more complicated, especially when you start adding in praise/degradation, BDSM dynamics, building scenes, sexting/roleplay and so on, but this is a good place to start :)
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