Factman

I draw and shitpost sometimes

[rocky-the-eridian-official-real]

i know its probably the equivalent of human cremation, but when i read "yeah we toss em in the industrial grinder" it had me CACKLING 🤣🤣 im so sorry rocky

<Is no joke is very real serious somber ritual. Sometime live eridian fall in by accident.>

[datasoong47]

[theonion]

Trembling as he held a hand mirror to his face to behold his ghastly new form, internet personality Clavicular reportedly woke up as a hideous, jawless monster Thursday after rating an old crone’s looks a four out of 10. “Oh God, oh God—what has she done? I’m a monstrosity! I’m hideous!” said the formerly chisel-jawed influencer and champion of the “looksmaxxing” subculture, clutching for the now-nonexistent jawline that had somehow disappeared overnight, likely due to a vengeful act by the old, wizened hag whose looks he had judged as “mid” in a late-night livestream.

Full Story

[bestfriendforeverandever]

"Golly... it's been a long time, hasn't it? Sorry I disappeared the way I did. Things happen, and... y'know, occasionally, li'l routines like these get lost in the shuffle." "But for everyone's information- no, I'm not dead!" "Yet." "I'll be getting back in the groove of answering questions again soon! Even for a li'l guy like me, there's some work that's gotta be done! Things that need to be... dealt with." "Anyway! See ya soon, old pals!"

[thememedaddy]

[thememedaddy]

[hotvampireadjacent]

Insane

[fujokafka]

we need to bring back old school tumblr communication and im so serious. sending an ask to a mutual just to say hello. seeing three different asks in your inbox all asking how your dentist appointment went. seeing a post you think one of your mutuals would enjoy and tagging them/sending it to them in the dms. nowadays its just silently liking a post or (if youre feeling extreme) replying under posts. WHAT HAPPENED TO US!! we used to be a proper community!!!! #LetsBringWhimsyBack

[andthelaw]

reblog if you want ppl to send you random lil' asks

[fagcrisis]

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

[fricknfactman]

I love eating erotic food

[cyanolov3]

My rendition of little red riding hood — assignment for class

[frostedshadow]

I love how Rocky is incredibly well aware that saying "where my bedroom" doesn't make any sense (he's got a whole plan for making a sleeping area already and knows the Hail Mary doesn't have bedrooms) and therefore literally the only purpose of saying that was to mess with Grace. He's such a little shit I love him so much

[rainbowgaez]

evil great lakes

lake inferior

lake normal

lake offtario

lake hurton

lake michigan

[rathayibacter]

movie title: DICK GRINDER

scene one: dimly lit night scene where a character we'll never see again gets his dick mutilated by what is implied to be a sentient meat grinder

scene two: daytime. our protagonist is wearing glasses and giving a lecture to a class of bored high school or college students. "what.. is... a meat grinder?" he looks around the classroom expectantly, then begins writing on the chalkboard. "and would it feel good... to fuck one?"

[ketrindarkdragon]

Girl will ask you "Will you still love me if I was a worm?" and then pull out this move

[fricknfactman]

Would you open a gastro pub that sells $30+ burgers with me ❤️

[autisticlittleguy]

So, unlike Eridians, we discovered fire very early on and so our civilization kinda grew up with combustion right? We've had thousands of years to normalize it and get comfortable with the idea of using it casually for warmth or cooking etc.

In contrast, Eridians had to discover fire in a lab since their atmosphere doesnt have O2 like ours. So they dont have, like, an entire culture normalizing fire.

> Be me. Rocky the Eridian cosmonaut

> Tell Grace about Eridian space elevator design made out of Xenonite. Grace very impressed, says humans only dream about making space elevator.

> Odd? Ask Human friend Grace how humans got into space. Expecting some high tech solution since science humans clearly know more physics.

> Grace explains Humans strapped other Humans on top of Fire-Explodatron-9000 machines made out of weak human metal, basically Eridian cardboard, then shot them into orbit. Grace say the fire it makes is quite pretty to look at

[audhdspacewizard]

Knowing that Eridians have much longer lifespans, and also he can't be at every school on the planet at once, Ryland Grace decides to record a bunch of entertaining science lessons with Rocky's help.

Hundreds of years later, Eridian kids still get excited when the substitute teacher rolls in the 3D shape projector, because they know they're in for an episode of Friend Grace the Science Ace.