bitch 101

hi my name is jordan but some people call me kelsey

[fridat]

hi just checking in

[fridat]

how the fuck do i log out

why is tumblr so complicated

[algrenion]

“i wish i lived in the country side!”

no u dont. You dont want to have to drive an hour just to get some McDonalds. There is nothing to do here and everyone is racist. My neighbour’s chickens got stolen last week

[toukos-moved-blog]

u ever have that friend where ur like. yes lets get an apartment together. lets adopt 200 cats. lets DO IT

[eroticfriendfictions]

[laurbyboom]

when u suckin dick and u look up and they like

[laurbyboom]

[grimelords]

I bought a new doorbell the other day which was exciting because it seems crazy that that’s a thing you can just buy from a shop. Like how you can buy garden gnomes when they seem more like something that just exists and always has. But anyway you can and I set it up my doorbell and it worked fine and I pressed the button about a thousand times because I’ve never had a doorbell before and it was exciting. Except sometimes it would ring when nobody had pressed the button, like just every couple of hours my doorbell would go off for no reason including twice with two different types of ding dong at about 1am. So I looked it up and it turns out it was probably on the same frequency as other doorbells in the area which is great news because it not only means that at least two of my neighbours have visitors at 1am, but also all the time I spent hammering the button when I first set it up and being totally enamoured with the concept of a doorbell I was invariably setting off my two neighbours doorbells as well.

[marcitlali]

who even uses celsius… like how extra

[thestylesmaliks-deactivated2015]

[ratshithead-deactivated20210422]

all posts should be in deviantart journal format

[ratshithead-deactivated20210422]

Listening to: linkin park ;D Reading: yaoi :3333 Watching: naruto rofll Playing: kingdom hearts!!!!! Eating: nothing o__O Drinking: blood XD

[oate]

you only realise how bad the jokes on this site are until you actually say one out loud

[raredusk]

If 5sos went by their middle names how ghetto would that be. “Hi, we’re 5sos, I’m gordon, this is thomas, he’s fletcher and that’s robert.”

[pettyblackgirl]

………Do you even know what the term ghetto means because….

[deadmemesociety]

My body is a temple. It’s full of sick traps and death pits and there is a golden monkey at the end.

[mercy-nerfs-deactivated20200127]

just in case people needed some perspective as to how much a billion actually is

1 million seconds is just over a week and a half

1 billion seconds is about 35 years

[lady-fett]

this is it. this is the best way to handle it.

[raychjackson]

Inspirational

[divineapparition-deactivated202]

I’m a hoe but I’m an emotional hoe who needs nurturing and affection

[sizvideos]

[fridat]

relative: how are you? I haven't seen you in a while!

me: i'm okay I feel exhausted every day but I can't get any sleep, my existence is pure anxiety i feel like a waste of space, i'm losing my friends because I don't have energy to interact and I wish a black hole would swallow me

me: haha but i'm okay

relative: great! nice seeing you!