Monkeytraps

A blog about control

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Bert Life 12/What Bert doesn't see (the Third Paradox of Control, yet again)

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Bert Life 11/What Bert doesn't see (the Third Paradox of Control, continued)

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Bert Life 10/What Bert doesn't see (the Third Paradox of Control)

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Bert Life 9/What Bert doesn't see (the Second Paradox of Control)

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Bert Life 11/Bert will falsify

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Bert Life 7/Bert doesn't see

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Bert Life 6/Bert can't escape this feeling

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Bert Life 5/Inside

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Bert Life 5/Inside

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Bert Life 4/Bert is a people-pleaser

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Bert Life 3/Before he could speak

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Bert Life 2/Bert thinks it's dangerous

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Bert Life 1/Bert's first job

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The Red Thread, part 2

Bert arrives . (Continued from The Red Thread, part 1.) . After the workshop I go back to doing therapy with clinic clients.  . Mine is a typical outpatient caseload, filled with the sorts of problems every therapist faces: anxiety, depression, addictions, bad relationships, parenting problems. . But something’s different now. . Have you ever bought a new car — say, a Honda — and…

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Bert thinks it is dangerous

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The Red Thread, part 1

How I discovered control addiction So I’m giving this talk, and suddenly realize I don’t know what I’m talking about. . I’m a new social worker, six months out of grad school, working for a clinic attached to a rehab.  My new boss has decided I’m  the best one to run the weekly Family Education Series, basically a crash course in alcoholism and how it screws up families.  . And…

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The smell of the bait

. Last night I replayed a conversation for the eleventh time. . I was trying to get it right. . Not the conversation itself; that was over and done with. . But how I felt about it. . I did not feel good. . So I reviewed (a) what I said, (b) what I should have said, (c) what I shouldn’t have said, (d) what the other person said, (e) what they really meant, (f) what they might be…

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