WASTELAND, BABY! — I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU

her [ eyes ] look sharp and steady Into the e m p t y parts of me still my heart is heavy with the hate of some other man's beliefs always a well dressed fraud who wouldn't spare the rod never for me S C R E A M I N G the name of a f o r e i g n e r ' s God S C R E A M I N G the name of a f o r e i g n e r ' s God the purest expression of grief

[thegreatescape]

lmao filippo

[milesgmoralles]

#me when a minor inconvenience happens

[frnkhamilton]

@sunkissvs

there were tells to his distress. there always were. fidgety finger knocking nonstop against the steering wheel, leg bumping up and down in the same spot unable to stay still. frank was hoping only that lily couldn’t tell, that it wasn’t as obvious to her as it was to the rest of the world. — but not even him, doing his best attempt at pretending he was okay, not even him trying to hold everything together for as long as humanly possible could wait more than a few seconds after lily was inside the door to pull jeanie outside. — shaking his head repeatedly, unable to breathe still, “ i can’t, i can’t fucking— ” if the guilt didn’t single-handedly crush his chest, then the certainty of his own incompetence as a father would. how dumb did he have to be to leave that kind of shit laying around ? god, how dumb did he have to be to leave that kind of thing in his house ? “ can you stay with her ? for a little ? for, for, i don’t know, until i’m— until it doesn’t— i can’t. i’m a shitty fucking dad, okay ? i’m, i’m the shittiest fucking dad there is and i don’t want her around me. i don’t think she should be around me. can you stay with her ? ”

[frnkhamilton]

@ohitsrobyn

He had to get over himself. All on his own. One terrible life-destroying hangover after the two days wasted on nonstop drinking, Frank decided he had to get over himself. ( Robyn was his friend still, regardless of whoever she decided to date, regardless of how the idea of her and Vinnie together again made his stomach turn ) He had no right to be mad over it — And so Frank showed up at her classroom. A few hours after he was sure all the students had left, a few days too many since the last time he had indulged in this almost daily ritual of theirs. Two coffee in hands and a small smile trying to find its way to his features. “ Hey. ” There was barely a moment between him knocking on the open door and him walking inside. Silence standing in the small place he couldn’t fill with his words. Frank had to get over himself, he knew that, was sure of it, but that certainty didn’t make looking at her any easier. “ You alright ? ”

[frnkhamilton]

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RED: Well, my clients want a sweaty jump, then usually climb off and pay. Women are the ones who enjoy in seeing their partner come more, so will naturally give them. Besides, I can give myself the orgasms I need and be guaranteed everytime. I don't need to come at work, it's easier if I don't, Most of the time I don't even let my clients touch me that way.

RED: Well, it's a learning curve, just say that you're sowing some wild oats?

RED: I Have friends, I have you, I have some of the actual hookers to swap stories with.

RED: Because if I start with her, then what's stopping it from getting out, so many clients have fallen in love with me and I've always just ignored it. I suppose it was just really good sex that my name came out. It's just really not me, Frank. It's not for everyone and we have to remember that.

FRANK: Are they? Don't you?

FRANK: That's a lot of new information my brain is not willing to register.

FRANK: Sowing some wild oats. lol. I do have sex, if that is what you are asking me, grandma. But it's not, I mean, it's just that

FRANK: Well, you told me all about your stuff, so I might as well tell you too, I guess.

FRANK: I'm still crazy about my ex and I think I'm falling for my friend too. It's a little confusing, but neither of them want me, so it doesn't really matter.

FRANK: Okay, I give up on trying to convince you. I still think you are full of shit, but if you don't want to do the thing, then don't.

FRANK: I just think you could give that chemical reaction a chance. It might feel better than sex Or oR even maybe make good sex even better. Our brains are some weird little shits

[frnkhamilton]

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RED: I just don't come from penetration, Frank.

RED: You do realize that most women don't? And those that say they do are lying 90% of the time : laughing emoji:

RED: I like the more effeminate ones, but having sex with men is a job for me. If I could I'd just lay there and let them do what they needed to whilst I read a magazine.

RED: You'd be apologizing for many many men XD

RED: So, you just mean a friend? Isn't that just what friends do minus the sex? I have sex anyway, so...Wouldn't I just need a friend? Friends care-

RED: I have no idea what to call it, it's not my department.

RED: She's my client, the only date I have is if she pays and wants to go out. Leading her on breaks the illusion of myself as an actress, opens up a whole can of worms.

FRANK: well, yeah, okay, but the guy can eat you out. he can do Something for you. never is a long ass time

FRANK: i get it if you are not into guys, but. no, no, forget that, i don't get it. 'never' still has me questioning reality. that's too much bad sex for a life. jesus christ.

FRANK: you deserve an apology from many men

FRANK: i guess. i don't know. the lines between what is a friend and what isn't have been pretty blurry in my mind lately. i might be biased on that department.

FRANK: but anyway wouldn't you like a friend too?

FRANK: nah, you are back to bullshitting me, red. and the worst is that you are bad at it. if it doesn't matter, and love is just a chemical reaction, and there was no real reason for you to tell her your name, then what's the problem in making it complicated for a night? it's just a client. you still got half the town left if things go wrong.

[frnkhamilton]

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RED: I have always found that mens arrogance overthrows whatever attraction I have to them, women just have this...I don't know how to put it. I can't say a man has ever made me come.

RED: Well, you have a big caring heart, you're a father and you have been in love before. SO yes, you are. I honestly can't say I agree, perhaps it makes me broken?

RED: God no, it's anything but.

RED: Absolutely not.

FRANK: never?

FRANK: NEVER?

FRANK: NEVER???

FRANK: but like are you just not attracted at all to guys or have all of them just failed you?

FRANK: never? i'm. i'd like to formally apologize in the name of every other guy out there that has ever slept with you.

FRANK: oh, come on, red. you really gonna say you don't like company? I'm not even talking about a girlfriend right now, I'm talking about company, like talking to someone without worrying about random bullshit, feeling like someone cares about you? you really gonna bullshit me like that, red?

FRANK: i'm sorry. not love at all. that was a bad joke on my part. it was just... a very special thing you shared with her that you don't tend to share with other people. Not love ofc, it's just... what do you call that, exactly?

FRANK: what's the harm? ask her out for one date and if your brain is not wired for that dumb chemical reaction like my soft brain is, then it won't change anything in your life.

[frnkhamilton]

sunkissvs‌:

smoking was one of the only bad habits aliza had. it helped her NOT think about the bottle or the pills. she smoked even more after seeing her ex ( it could have been worse. she could have decided to drink ). “ if you’re another person who’s come over here to tell me that smoking is going to kill me …  please walk away. “ 

“ no, i— hey. ” he raised both hands in the air in surrender, shook his head a little. smile set at the corner of his lips. “ i just wanted to ask if you could share ? one, maybe ? ” pulling the empty cigarette pack from his pocket, frank waved it a little. “ no intention of telling you what does or doesn’t kill you. just wanted one. ”

[frnkhamilton]

kaplxns‌:

what a bum. what a complete fuckin’ bum. not much seemed to have changed with frank. still pathetic, still a sap. vinnie never took to frank’s hero complex. it was pitiful and he couldn’t understand why robyn was friends with him. “aw, c’mon, frankie. don’t you wanna reminisce for ‘ol times sake?” his hands raise to his face, mimicking a boxers stance, a nasally, obnoxious laugh pushes past his lips. it only felt like yesterday when vinnie had knocked frank into a blubbering, bloody mess. “so you heard about that?” his shoulders raise into a small shrug. “you know, it’s prison. not for the faint of heart. i don’t think you’d do too well there, frankie. if memory serves me right, you always were soft.”

“ nah, vinnie, i’m fine. see, i’m not fifteen anymore. not gonna try to punch you over some spray paint nowadays. I’ll just arrest you for vandalism. ” there was a very loud, very long sigh, and a second later, a second too late, frank was hit with a sting of irrational jealousy. as though vinnie’s presence on its own could destroy frank’s ( already non-existent ) chances with robyn. — if he couldn’t compete with that guy twenty years ago, when his hair was still intact and there no inkling of a beer belly, he as sure couldn’t do it now. “ well, you know, good thing i’m not going around stealing anyone’s shit, hun ? i’m a fan of freedom myself, so— ” there was a small shrug. “ when are you going back, though ? i’m sure people over there are already missing you. i’ll gladly be the one to put your handcuffs back on. ”

[frnkhamilton]

kaplxns‌:

it only takes the slightest inconvenience to set him off. there’s a fracture in his composure, he’s off the bar stool within seconds, turning towards the voice of the person who was going to be the tough guy this evening. it takes a moment, a lingering stare in the direction of that corner booth. a smile slowly tugs itself onto his lips, recognition clear on his face. “well look who it is.” his voice is coarse and loud enough for the whole bar to hear. “if it ain’t ‘ol wile e coyote. frankie hamilton.” slow, heavy steps take him to frank’s booth. he stands there, looming over the man like they were kids again. “so, you’re still lumberin’ around this town, hamilton?”

He is left sitting at the corner booth, cursing the world under his breath, questioning whatever god there was that put him in this situation. — Frank hadn’t been to church in a few years. That was it. That had to be it. He was being punished for the loss of Sunday mass. There was no other explanation for the disastrous collection of horrible thing after horrible thing his life had become. “ Nah, not really, man. I’m all the way out in California. Would you mind going there to check out how life going for me ? And while you are at it, maybe, stay there too. ” The whiskey glass in his hands could not hold enough alcohol to make this situation bearable. “ How was prison, hun ? Had fun ? Missing anyone over there already ? ”

[frnkhamilton]

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RED: I have always been attracted to women far ED:more than men, it's just that men happen to be the ones who want to pay.

RED: Not everyone is into the natural form as they claim to be.

RED: OH yes, I have oodles of optimism seeping out of my very pores.

RED: Hey hey, lets slow down and back up. I don't /have/ to be optimistic about my love life, because I'm content with not having one, I'm happy with myself and don't need another persons problems. For me love is a chemical reaction that encourages animals to mate. But you're a softer soul, you enjoy love, company- which is why you should seek it.

RED: I'm getting close to someone I don't want to get close to, that's all. I don't do feelings as per above and it's not starting to teeter on the fence between business and pleasure and I'm not happy about it.

RED: Stupidly told them my real name in the throws of passion.

FRANK: i'm more of 50/50 man myself but i understand where you are coming from. women truly are out this goddamn world

FRANK: a shame really cause personally i think my leg hair is great

FRANK: not to be an asshole, red, but i think you are full of shit. i'm not any softer than anyone, every single human being on this earth enjoys company. no one wants to be alone. chemical reaction or not, it is nice to be around who care about you

FRANK: oh wow so you are on a first-name basis, hun. that is a whole new level. is that true love right there?

FRANK: okay i'm joking

FRANK: but you should ask her out

[frnkhamilton]

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RED: I could write a book on how easy men are, trust me. But yes, it probably is the leg hair.

RED: Well, we can't make ourselves live in the past, Frank. We learn from it and we have to move on from it. I think there's a woman out there waiting for you with love to shower on you and you know that will happen when you get out of your head, thinking that you'll destroy it.

RED: Ahh, but not everyone is like that, jealousy comes naturally and people are just jealous beings. I can't say I'm interested in bothering...I think.

RED: IT's a superpower alright, but trust me. I'm just fine.

FRANK: in defense of every man interested in women out there.. .. have you seen women? i mean, it's a pretty damn great reason to be easy

FRANK: see, i was going for the bear look with the leg hair, but i guess that isn't for everyone

FRANK: i love your optimism, red

FRANK: how can you be optimistic about my shitty love life when all i do is fuck things over with people? and you can't be optimistic about your love life? when all you have to do is find someone who is not gonna get jealous over the 80-year-old dude taking viagra to fuck? i don't understand your logic

FRANK: oh come on, i poured my heart out here. talk to me, red. we are questionable pals, aren't we?

[frnkhamilton]

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RED: The problem with life

RED: I spend enough time in bars around town to easily take them over, all I need to do is give a flash of my leg.

RED: Frank, you're not a cat. You can't just think you'll be okay everytime.

RED: I disagree, relationships suit you and I think you just need the right woman to show you we're not all looking to tear men apart-

RED: I guess I just haven't. I enjoy my work too much, no one will be in a relationship doing what I do, and I can't say I've ever craved the intimacy.

RED: Complications forever arising, nothing for you to worry your moustache about I can assure you.

FRANK: men are that easy, hun? i flashed my leg too but it had the opposite reaction idk why. you think it's the leg hair?

FRANK: maybe i am though. if you knew the shit i have survived up to this point. isn't 'the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior' or some shit like that? i have been through enough shit that at this point that if i don't have nine lives, then i might have the best fucking guardian angel around

FRANK: i know women are not looking to tear men apart, red. my ex was a goddamn angel for putting up with me for as long as she did. i am just worried i might be tearing them apart by accident. it's a me problem. not a them problem.

FRANK: idk i'd date someone with your job if i was in love. it's just a job, right? not like you are going around falling in love with everyone you sleep with. maybe you are just looking at the wrong place?

FRANK: but my mustache is always worried! it's like a sixth sense. it tingles when there is something wrong with people i care about.

[frnkhamilton]

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RED: You should laugh more, laughing releases all the good chemicals into the brain.

RED: I LOVE AVIATORS, They are so in right now!

RED: You can only keep things running smoothly if you are taking care of yourself, perhaps it is something you should look into therapy for. There's no shame in doing so.

RED: ANother break up will only happen if you go in thinking that way.

RED: I am no relationship expert as I have never had one, but even I know that.

RED: ... Surviving

FRANK: with that, i agree, red; it's just hard sometimes

FRANK: see, we are already fashionable. questionable pals is the one group to take over everyone else in this town. we'll rule the late-night bars.

FRANK: i'm fine. it's fine. i'll be fine. don't worry. it's okay. i always end up okay.

FRANK: i didn't go into my marriage thinking it would end in divorce and yet, here we are. i just suck at this. i'm doing people a favor by staying away from them.

FRANK: you have never had a relationship, red? how did that happen?

FRANK: what's up? something wrong?

[frnkhamilton]

sunkissvs‌:

“ no reason , actually. “ she sighs HAPPILY. she was in love. she’s been in love since they met. she kisses him again , as if she couldn’t help herself from being as close as possible to him. cheeks burnt red - which only added to the mess that she looked like ( in HER EYES ).  “ just … the best things in life are … left unexplainable , sometimes. “ 

“ is that right ? ” he couldn’t stop smiling. it was so prominent, so wide while set on his features. frank’s cheek started to hurt a little. — he couldn’t stop thinking about easy it was to be happy around her. every muddy memory of whatever came before turned blurry and disappeared. — his thumb brushed against her cheek softly, pulling her closer, kissing her again. softer, warmer, for a little while longer. “ unexplainable, hun ? ” frank didn’t know what he would do without her. “ i love you, babe. ”

[frnkhamilton]

sunkissvs‌:

she realizes what all of this MEANS. would she even be able to handle wearing his shirt , being in his home ? ( not theirs , not the home they built together ). she used to wear his clothes all the time to the point of his clothes smelling like HER instead of him … it was like the world was giving her a taste of what they could have been like if they had stuck it out. it was a cruel joke. she attempts to protest but it was the only way for her to not end up with a cold by tomorrow. “ yeah , yeah , i kind of am , “ she nods. if she was in a better place then she would have smiled. it had been an incredibly rough week and an equally rough time since the divorce. she hadn’t been able to catch a break lately , it seemed. “ i - sure , okay , “ she watches him run into his house. what she wasn’t expecting was the relief when she saw lily at the front door. lily was HER ROCK. she gets out of the car once frank is by her door. she didn’t expect him to come running out with an umbrella — but it was a nice surprise. she half - smiles , if you could call it that. “ hey , pumpkin , “ she says once they get to the house. a smile forms on her lips but doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “ i hope you haven’t been giving your dad too much of a hard time , “ another half - smile , she ruffles lily’s hair and hugs her tightly , not caring that she was soaked.

there was a smile tugging at his lips. watching her, and his daughter— their daughter. and then there was a sharp wave of pain washing over him, reminding frank this wasn’t their house, wasn’t their marriage, wasn’t two years ago when they were still happy and could still stand in the same room to have an entire conversation that didn’t end in an argument. —— why did it have to end like this ? why did he have to fuck things up so much ? why couldn’t he just have been better ? —— “ okay, come on, both of you. inside. i’m not taking care of anyone with a cold, just because of this stupid rain. ” and he tried. he really tried his best attempt at a good-humored smile, but frank was just as bad at pretending as he was at holding onto happiness. — the warmness of the inside of his place should have helped him breathe, but it only worsened the contrast of his life then & now. with jeanie standing inside of it, his house looked like a nightmare brought to life. a mess of things thrown haphazardly around, objects left out of their place, forgotten somewhere else instead. the little bundle of books, blankets and snacks he and lily had set up in front of the tv only working to worsen the already natural mess of his house. the little girl was barraging them with question after question. what are you doing here, mom? are we going home? why are you clothes so wet? why is dad so quiet? dad. dad. dad! and it was too much for him to deal with all at once. “ look, imma— imma get you some dry clothes. gimme a second. ” he just needed to be in another room to breathe.

[frnkhamilton]

ohitsrobyn‌:

“Good.” She was glad he was willing to take some advice from her, and if that was the only thing he’d listen to her about then she’d done more than she expected to. “I’ll try to stop worrying about you. The more smiles I see on that face of yours today, the less I’m gonna worry. So far, so good.” She grinned. Popping the trunk, Robyn was about to pick up the cooler box, but Frank got in there first. She appreciated it, seeing as she’d almost filled it up and it was pretty heavy. “Thanks, muscles.” She swung the lid down on the trunk and locked her car, tossing her keys into her bag as she walked alongside Frank. It would only take them about five minutes to get to her spot, and it was mostly uphill. Robyn’s smile returned immediately and she practically beamed up at him. “Well, I do try…” she joked, then her smile softened, “I’ve gotta be a little bit amazing sometimes, just to keep you on your toes, Sheriff.” She led them up the slight incline, and they finally reached the top. Up there was a small patch of grass, a bench and a perfect place to see almost all the town. “Ta-da!” Robyn gestured her arms out wide before laughing at herself. 

“ A little bit ? Sometimes ? Nah, I think you are pretty much perfect, all the goddamn time, Robyn. ” and there was a smile now. Easily attainable, a lot more real of a thing for him to hold onto. — Sometimes Frank forgot how much he loved that stupid goddamn town. The worries of everyday life, the constant pain in his chest always got to him. Sometimes, Frank got so caught up with himself, the reason he became a sheriff in first place disappeared off the back of his mind. — He just needed this: That one sight, tiny cars rushing in and out of the main street, looking more like models than real engines from up there. People so tiny, you could barely recognize anyone. All walking around, talking to one another, all living their ordinary lives around Elmerton, despite his failings. That one view alone felt like a rush of fresh air. He forgot the last time he breathed in this easily. “ Holy fuck. ”Setting the cooler down by the bench. A tiny little sigh escaped his lips. “ How the hell did you find this place ? ”