i'm yours

do i like you , oliver ? I WORSHIP YOU. ind . elio perlman of ' call me by your name ' . scripted by river .

[timmychalamet]

Tregua?

[frompeach-blog]

♡ oliver .

he remembers everything. the ocean’s salt that nestled between his shoulder blades. the suns warmth that so selflessly gave light and life to the city, evident in the vibrancy of its people. the smell of the sea and the sound of the wind swirling around crashing waves that kissed the rocks along the shore with fervent passion. he remembered every sight, every smell, every person he had encountered during his stay with the perlman family. calling his spot by the pool side heaven was somewhat inaccurate, for it was all the same to him, each part of the experience a different piece of nirvana.

he remembers him. the memory of elio is one that is engraved particularly deep in oliver’s mind, in his blood, his bones, his soul. elio is his heart, just as he is elio’s. when he dared allow himself to dwell on the logistics of the relationship they shared it was sometimes met with a surge of guilt. of shame and fear that, for his own sanity’s sake, he let get lost to the back of his mind. he wasn’t ready to close the door this last summer had opened. and were we ever really prepared to close doors on things that our hearts ache for when our minds know it’s something we can’t have?

“ i miss it too. “ the walls and you. the sheets and you. the pool and you. the sun and you. and you. you. the smile never falters though there’s a weight to his words when he speaks again. “ new york is fine. “ question is summarily avoided, doesn’t find glad to be a proper adjective for his feelings about being home. home didn’t live within the united states - it lived with him. “ it’s ordinary. woke up at the same time i always do. got to work early as i always am. worked as long as i always have. missed out on heaven another day. just ordinary. “ he hopes elio is enjoying all the things he craves in italy for him.

voice drops in volume after another pause, somewhat hushed, as if worried there may be a nosy listener on another line. “ leaving you at that station was the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do in my life. ”

he had not expected it to hurt this much .   who knew how devastating distance could be ?   that it could crawl through his body ,   wrapping tightly around him ,   taunting him in both daylight and moonlight .   oliver is everywhere and nowhere all at once .   he must live together with his absence ;   sharing a table ,   a balcony ,   a bed with it .   there is longing trapped in oliver’s voice too .   maybe it is a fabrication of his imagination .   he wants so much for oliver to miss him that he is able to delude himself into believing that he does .   but those words cannot be mistaken .   oliver missed out on heaven another day .   perhaps ,   when midnight struck and his thoughts could no longer be shifted to academics ,   oliver missed him too .

a change is sensed before he hears it .   voice becomes quieter on the other end ,   and he knows from the first word that this is important .   this is the man he has wanted to speak to ,   the man who dared to be honest with him ,   who was not hiding behind carefully chosen words and actions .   this was reckless of them .   but it felt so much more powerful than gentle pleasantries .   it felt real .

his heart catches in his throat ,   the rest of the world falling away from him as his eyes fall shut .   in the darkness ,   they were together again .   a crackling phone speaker replaced by oliver’s carefree lips ,   whispering the name that was now his .   oliver ,   oliver ,   oliver .   he’ll dream forever if he has to .   anything to feel close to him again .    ❝    watching you go was the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do .    ❞    he regrets it .   letting oliver walk away from him .   he should have kept him there ;   crafted some elaborate excuse ,   taken hold of his hands and refused to let go ,   trapped him in a kiss that he could not walk away from .   don’t leave italy ,   don’t leave me ,   don’t leave us .

quietly ,   a soft sigh escapes from his lips ,   head pressed against the wall .    ❝    i wish you’d stayed .    ❞    it feels shameful to say .   he knows it is selfish ,   but he says it anyway .   the consequences will be what they are .   the icy glare is thousands of miles away   ❪  but so is everything he loves  ❫ .

[frompeach-blog]

♡ oliver .

elio. elio. elio. hearing the name spoken from his mouth was almost enough to make oliver drunk, and even through the muted telephone wire his stomach lurched with something pleasant - something beautiful that only the two of them shared or could ever possibly understand. butterflies, perhaps it was, though it felt much stronger than child’s play.

a silence settles between them, between the soft buzz of white noise, between 4,283 miles that oliver would much rather not think about. better not to think about the distance that separated them, better to crack the window of his apartment and stand near the sill when the sun hit the point at around five o’clock where it finally made its appearance into olivers room, welcomed graciously by closed eyes and the apples of cheeks that were starved of summer sun. sometimes he tried to imagine he was back on the balustrade, imagines the weight of a full cup of coffee brewed from mafalda’s beloved bialetti, imagines cotton robe brushing against his bare thigh still warm from the shower, imagines watching elio with his guitar from the garden. the bliss of the memory would always fade in the same way, lost to blaring horns and shouting men in the city below.

the silence drags on for maybe too long but it’s comfortable, bitter tension between them a thing of the past by now, and if elio was listening close enough he would hear a smile draw onto olivers lips. if he wasn’t, it’s heard clearly when he finally speaks. “ how is paradiso? ”

it’s a question that catches him off guard ,   no answer planned and no answer known .   how is paradiso ?   beautiful .   empty .   busy .   lonely .   home .   strange .   most of all ,   it is no longer paradiso ,   not with an absence that haunts him like a ghost in the hallways .   every room he enters ,   every place he goes ,   is linked to a memory of oliver .   it is both dream-like and nightmarish to have to greet the past everywhere .   sometimes he hates having to live this way ,   his heart and mind dominated by feelings and thoughts that he no longer has control over .   sometimes he prays that one day he will stop longing for this ulliva who came and went in the blink of an eye ,   for there is a certain pain that comes with wanting someone ,   a pain that he never knew before this man entered his life .

though even with this newfound ache that lives inside him ,   a smile drifts onto his lips to match oliver’s before he speaks .   the thought of oliver smiling at the memory of their paradiso gives him a sense of unexpected joy .    ❝   just as you would remember it .   ❞    he’s careful to dance around the truth in a way that is still honest .   nothing has changed since oliver has left and yet ,   to him ,   it feels like everything has changed .   there is something missing now ,   as though a puzzle he has known forever was replaced with a special edition but there is already a piece missing from it .   it is still the same home he has always known but at the same time it is not .     ❝   it misses you .   ❞    the walls ,   the sheets ,   the pool ,   the sun .   they all miss oliver .   just as he does .    ❝   ---   are you glad to be home ?   ❞

[belabelabelaff-deactivated20200]

“Nature has cunning ways of finding our weakest spots.” 

                    一 Call Me By Your Name [and I’ll call you by mine], an aesthetic

[frompeach-blog]

' my shirt still smells of you. '

♡  accepting !

what a way to make his heart ache .    words sounding as though they had been plucked out of a love song drift into his ear from phone speakers .   thousands of miles separated them and yet they were connected still by a smell ,   sight or song .   he likes that .   oliver still has a piece of him .   it makes him less easy to forget .   maybe the memory of him will not fade away so quickly if his smell can be found resting in oliver’s shirt ,   even as a new landscape beckons with a city so different to b. and the country that is the home of their love .

he wishes every shirt he owned smelled of oliver .    allow him to cocoon himself in it while he sleeps in the room that is no longer just his ,   the room that he gladly shares with another soul ,   even if that soul is too far away to touch or smell or taste .   he will surround himself with oliver things until oliver himself returns to him .   finally ,   he breaks his silence ,   voice sounding more desperate than he had wished it to .    ❝    don’t let it stop.    ❞    don’t wash me away ,   don’t remove me from your life .

[frompeach-blog]

“ is it bad i really want to kiss you right now? ”

♡  accepting !

bad ?   face is forced to convey his perplexity at such a question .   how something so intimate shared between them could ever be bad is unfathomable to him ,   though he knows that he has had similar thoughts at later and earlier hours when the cold hand of shame crept across him and eyes did not dare to even look at oliver .   nothing given to him from la muvi star ,   with his sunglasses and that billowly shirt ,   could ever be anything other than beautiful ,   every kiss treasured and kept in the chest box inside his mind that held all of their moments .   he will never forget .   ever .

lips move to form words but they are silenced before spoken .   it is bad to release them into the atmosphere .   it is bad to do anything that might give oliver a chance to find the wrong answer   ❪  don’t think yes .   think no .   say no .   show me our kisses are sacred .  ❫ .   instead ,   elio’s answer is provided silently and softly .   a question leads to a thought and a thought leads to a kiss .   the shorter boy closes the space between them ,   allowing their lips to meet ,   the movement feeling like a song written in a language that only they know how to play .   do you see now ,   oliver ?   do you see how even my lips are yours and your lips are mine ?

[vaememes]

kissy sentence starters.

“ is it bad i really want to kiss you right now? ” “ do me a favor, kiss my ass. ” “ they can all just kiss my ass. ” “ i kissed someone today. ” “ i kissed a girl/boy and i liked it. ” “ kissing burns calories you know. ” “ my lips really want to meet yours. ” “ so are we going to kiss or not? ” “ i sent you a bunch of kiss emojis. ” “ don’t talk, just kiss me. ” “ i really enjoyed our kiss last night. ” “ you make me want to kiss you. ” “ you owe me a kiss. ” “ pucker up. ” “ read my lips, no. ” “ your eyes say no but your lips say yes. ” “ i just want to kiss you. ” “ i miss your lips. ” “ give me a kiss. ” “ blow a kiss my way for good luck. ” “ ever kiss in the rain? ” “ ever kiss under water? ” “ it was just a kiss, that’s all. ” “ a kiss doesn’t mean anything. ” “ i love when our lips meet. ” “ where do you want me to kiss you? ” “ i want to either kiss you or kill you right now. ” “ did you really just kiss him/her? ” “ friends aren’t allowed to kiss one another. ” “ kiss me one more time. ” “ want to make out? ” “ you’re a terrible kisser. ” “ teach me how to kiss? ” “ i remember our first kiss. ” “ your lips are calling my name. ” “ let’s just kiss already. ”

[littlelovelymemes]

✰   —  —  —  FIERY SUGGESTIONS STARTERS

‘  set your past on fire and leave.  ’ ‘  don’t let your smile go wasted.  ’ ‘  my love for you i swallowed, yet your name will forever rest on the tip of my tongue.  ’ ‘  i still look upon you fondly.  ’ ‘  be in love, with or without me.  ’ ‘  i would give my life to meet you all over again.  ’ ‘  all love is conditional.  ’ ‘  love transcends beyond the edges of a relationship.  ’ ‘  i wonder if you’d still recognize my heartbeat the way i memorized yours.  ’ ‘  all the love you tried to waste on them should be put to use on yourself.  ’ ‘  love is crying in crimson.  ’ ‘  let it burn, let it cleanse, let it start anew and grow.  ’ ‘  love is never pure.  ’ ‘  you cannot endlessly give that which you don’t receive.  ’ ‘  every day i am moved by the waves you made in my past.  ’ ‘  if you get lost, all it means is that your old path has ended. search and find a new one.  ’ ‘  i have enough warmth to share.  ’ ‘  don’t look for them in other people. look for new happiness and new connections.  ’ ‘  have i ever cared for someone the way i cared for you?  ’ ‘  remember to count the stars in her eyes.  ’ ‘  giving love is not a waste.  ’ ‘  there are parts of me that remain forever changed by your presence and i’ll cherish these forever.  ’ ‘  i am complete as a sole being.  ’ ‘  there’s love to find beyond the horizon.  ’ ‘  no matter how hard i cry, it’s not gonna bring us back.  ’ ‘  your smile was golden like the sun and warmed my body the same way.  ’ ‘  you may never know how much i still care for you.  ’ ‘  the pillow still smells of you.  ’ ‘  good or bad, i hope we are feeling the same.  ’ ‘  i haven’t ever touched someone the way i touched you.  ’ ‘  my favorite homes are the ones i can leave.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of healing myself just so i can be hurt again.  ’ ‘  you are my heartbeat.  ’ ‘  even if i say i love you a hundred times a day, i mean every single one of them.  ’ ‘  don’t forget to create a new self before abandoning the old one.  ’ ‘  these tears are for me, not for you.  ’ ‘  the best part of our relationship was me.  ’ ‘  don’t look at them anymore.  ’ ‘  there are better things in store for you.  ’ ‘  unrequited love is like falling but knowing there’s no one to catch you.  ’ ‘  some flowers only bloom after a fire.  ’ ‘  free but struggling is better than trapped but happy.  ’ ‘  cry then cry some more. then cry again. it’s a process you need to go through.  ’ ‘  losing you is worth it.  ’ ‘  i’m not quitting, but i do deserve a break.  ’ ‘  don’t be with people who use kindness as a tool.  ’ ‘  don’t ever convince yourself you are beneath or above someone.  ’ ‘  forgiving someone is a choice, but it’s not always the right one.  ’ ‘  don’t let someone else bring you down when you could be building yourself up.  ’ ‘ i care about you, but i care more about me.   ’ ‘  i’m yours only if i want you.  ’ ‘  you cannot keep waiting on someone else to turn your life around.  ’ ‘  it’s okay for me to still love you after all that you did, but i can’t let that love stop me from knowing what’s ultimately better for me.  ’ ‘  forgiveness does not mean acceptance.  ’ ‘  forgiveness does not mean acceptance. it simply means you will not allow the actions of other to extinguish your flame.  ’ ‘  forgiveness says that your fire will continue to rage on with or without them.  ’ ‘  gracefully letting go of someone not meant for you means you will be introduced to something that is.  ’ ‘  goodbyes are not always goodbyes, but the painful ones usually are.  ’ ‘  don’t mistake possessiveness for love.  ’ ‘  living with a closed heart is not living.  ’ ‘  i’ve been through worse, but that doesn’t mean this doesn’t hurt.  ’ ‘  my love for you was strong enough to beat everything. everything.  ’ ‘  your love is not the love i want anymore.  ’ ‘  you’re all the home i know.  ’ ‘  we can all start forgetting now.  ’ ‘  they are not you and that brings me more comfort than pain.  ’ ‘  don’t let anger be all there is to you.  ’ ‘  i liked everything you were five years ago.  ’ ‘  if love were easy to find, it wouldn’t be worth it.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to set things on fire anymore.  ’ ‘  time passes even if you’re not moving forward.  ’ ‘  crying is sometimes the best option.  ’ ‘  don’t bother worrying about things that will never happen.  ’ ‘  there’s still a lot i have to learn, but i hope i don’t have to learn it through heartbreak and pain.  ’ ‘  you don’t always want what’s best for you.  ’ ‘  the sun is all i need to keep myself warm.  ’ ‘  i promise, when this is through, it will all be worth it.  ’ ‘  you almost made me stop believing in love.  ’ ‘  i could have fallen in love with you so easily.  ’ ‘  i’ve found the one. i realized it was me all along.  ’ ‘  there are so many reasons to smile and love is only one of them.  ’ ‘  start taking no for an answer.  ’ ‘  calm down, but don’t extinguish your fire.  ’ ‘  what’s coming is always better than what you have lost.  ’ ‘  don’t mistake confidence for arrogance.  ’ ‘  there’s a lot of moments in my life i wish i had live through with you.  ’ ‘  sometimes it’s better to not have any place to go back to.  ’ ‘  i will fall in love with myself, slowly but surely.  ’ ‘  be blind to pain or be kind to pain.  ’ ‘  you’ll get there on your own.  ’ ‘  goodbye for now doesn’t necessarily mean goodbye forever.  ’ ‘  heal, but keep your heart open.  ’ ‘  the urge to start anew burns deep within me. i will kindle this flame.  ’ ‘  you can be heartbroken without ever falling out of love.  ’ ‘  no fire keeps burning without good support.  ’ ‘  don’t try to leave someone because you want them to stay.  ’ ‘  what you feel is always real.  ’ ‘  even good things will hurt if you’re surrounded by only bad things.  ’ ‘  i have been waiting for too long to give up.  ’ ‘  i’ve seen love come and go, but you’re the only one who made a home out of my heart.  ’ ‘  you’re the only one who made a home out of my heart.  ’ ‘  stop agreeing with what they tell you.  ’ ‘  keep the past in the past.  ’ ‘  don’t worry too much about tomorrow, it will come and it will pass.  ’ ‘  allow people to move on and in turn, you will too.  ’ ‘  i refuse to believe you no longer feel about me like that.  ’ ‘  i still love you just as kindly. i’m still waiting with the same patience.  ’ ‘  you can find more love in yourself than others.  ’ ‘  i carry more guilt than i deserve.  ’ ‘  guilty people often make the first move.  ’ ‘  i am now and will always be mine.  ’ ‘  don’t call me… at all.  ’ ‘  it’s okay to say you don’t need them anymore and still fall asleep crying about them. it takes time and you are making progress.  ’ ‘  burn bridges to the past and build bridges to the future.  ’ ‘  respect isn’t free.  ’ ‘  just as beauty has no weight limit, no amount of love is too much.  ’ ‘  romance and heartbreak is not something to devote most of your time to.  ’ ‘  never let someone new in to fill up the gap another person left. instead, work on replacing it yourself.  ’ ‘  if they can’t explain, they can’t be trusted.  ’ ‘  i wrote ‘yours forever’ and i meant that.  ’ ‘  don’t compare yourself to the sun. instead, let it keep you warm.  ’ ‘  it still burns.  ’ ‘  the trick is to keep going.  ’ ‘  kiss someone where they’re hurting, but please be gentle.  ’ ‘  just do your makeup and try not to care.  ’ ‘  how many times do i have to tell you no?  ’ ‘  dream of me more often, even if it’s nightmares.  ’ ‘  you need to choose a better life for yourself.  ’ ‘  you’ll leave me and i’ll save myself.  ’ ‘  you are no longer my goal.  ’ ‘  i’m slowly moving on and starting to realize that i actually am better off without you.  ’ ‘  i don’t cry because of you anymore. i cry because this beautiful person that i am spent so long wondering why i wasn’t good enough.  ’ ‘  right now isn’t forever.  ’ ‘  i’m still there for you even though i’m no longer waiting.  ’ ‘  loving someone takes more than just love.  ’ ‘  never choose someone who doesn’t choose you.  ’

[roleplaymemesforyou]

Affection meme

Send one for a gentle gesture. When possible, send “reverse” to invert the roles.

👫- To hold my muse’s hand

💕- To give them a kiss on the cheek

💋- To give them a kiss on the lips.

❦- To hug them.

🍓- To share a sweet together. 

🌙- To put a blanket on them as they sleep. 

✿- To give them a gift. ( Feel free to specify ) 

🍴- To invite them over for dinner.

☆- To give them a massage. 

⇨ - To see a movie together

[frompeach-blog]

♡  oliver .

TWELVE O’CLOCK SHARP, the phone hardly has time to cycle through one single ring before he’s bringing it to his ear. this has become tradition for the two, as twelve is lunch time for oliver and by six elio has already swam, already played a game of tennis, already biked back from b. and is waiting on dinner drudgery. reminders of the ins and outs of their families routines never fails to leave him with a warm feeling in his chest, for during his stay there was never a time he didn’t feel like family, too. he never could find the words to properly thank mrs. p. in a beat he’s picking up with their routine greeting. “         oliver.”

each hour leading to this one had felt torturous .    he slept to become closer to this hour and he awoke to greet this hour ,   just as the sun had risen to tell him that this was the day .   the day he would hear oliver .   his ulliva .   it was easy to think about convincing himself that he did not care ,   that nothing in the world would change with or without this phone call ,   but less easy to carry through with the act .   for as soon as that voice crackled through the speaker ,   with that word ,   he knew that there was nothing he would not give to have this phone call ,   that it was ,   in fact ,   the most important thing in the world .

❝     elio .     ❞    your name .   anyone who would happen to overhear would think he was simply introducing himself .   hello .   yes ,   it’s me .   elio .   but it was so much more than that .   it was his world and his universe .   it was theirs .   if he shut his eyes now ,   the miles between them ceased to exist and oliver was back again ,   throwing a Later! over his shoulder as the sound of his espadrilles on the balcony drifted through the french windows that were as much his as they were elio’s.

[frompeach-blog]

     TAG DROP ( part 1 ) .

╰   🍑   ᶦ ʷᵒʳˢʰᶦᵖ ʸᵒᵘ⋅  *   ›  oliver .

╰   🍑   ᵏᶦᶫᶫ ᵐᵉ ᶦᶠ ᶦ ˢᵗᵒᵖ⋅  *   ›  visage .

╰   🍑   ᵖᵉᵃᶜʰᵉˢ⋅  *   ›  aesthetic .

╰   🍑   ʷᵉ ᵃʳᵉ ᶰᵒᵗ ʷʳᶦᵗᵗᵉᶰ ᶠᵒʳ ᵒᶰᵉ ᶦᶰˢᵗʳᵘᵐᵉᶰᵗ ᵃᶫᵒᶰᵉ⋅  *   ›  study .

╰   🍑   ᶦ'ᵈ ˢᵗᵃᵏᵉ ᵐʸ ᵉᶰᵗᶦʳᵉ ᶫᶦᶠᵉ ᵒᶰ ᵈʳᵉᵃᵐˢ⋅  *   ›  headspace .

╰   🍑   ᵈᵒ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵐᵉ ʷʰᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᵃᶰᵗ⋅ ᵗᵃᵏᵉ ᵐᵉ⋅  *   ›  desires .

╰   🍑   ᶜᵃᵘᵇᵒᶦ⋅  *   ›  001 .

╰   🍑   ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵘᵐᵐᵉʳ ᵒᶠ ’⁸³⋅  *   ›  verse .

╰   🍑   ʷᶦᵗʰᵒᵘᵗ ʰᵉᵃᵛᵉᶰ⋅  *   ›  verse .

╰   🍑   ᵗʰᵉ ʷᶦᶰᵗᵉʳ ᵒᶠ ’⁸⁶⋅  *   ›  verse .

╰   🍑   ᵒᶫᶦᵛᵉʳ ᶜᵒᵘᶰᵗʳʸ⋅  *   ›  verse .

[chalametdaily]

Call Me By Your Name (2017) dir. Luca Guadagnino