This is going to sound stupid but does anyone else ever just let minor sexism happen to themselves because theyāre lazy? What I mean is like when Iām out in public if some dude thinks Iām incapable of doing some easy task because woman, sometimes I just let them do it for me because Iām lazy. Like why do extra work when theyāre offering to do it for me and all I need to do is stand there? Iām talking stuff like carrying things, checking that Iām finding everything ok in the hardware area multiple times in a short period(so I just ask them for what Iām looking for instead of looking myself), searching up the correct hardware or car part, etc. And usually thereās a level of insistence from these people too, like, āare you *sure* you donāt need help?ā
Iām a short, cis woman and tend to present more femininely. Weirdly, the more femininely Iām dressed, the more this tends to happen. I get a lot more ādo you need any help?ā if I go to Loweās in a dress vs in a T-shirt and jeans. Itās cliche.
Itās not like itās just men either. Often it is, but women do this too. And I can tell the difference between general kindness, motherly sort of kindness, and judgement of incompetence. Like a lady (probably close to my age) did this to a me at the auto parts store when I needed new wiper blades and I just sort of let her because it was easier to let her do the research on her database than go through it on my phone.
If Iām uncomfortable with them Iāll be like nah Iām good and get it myself but, like, if theyāre going to take one look at me and immediately judge me incompetent, then I may as well take advantage of the help offered, you know? Maybe thatās wrong or something but I so do not have the energy to correct someone every time this happens.
I remember when I was a kid and the teacher would ask for some strong boys to help move chairs and I would get pissed off because I was strong too. I remember when the class had to move chairs I would try to take at least as many as the boys just to prove a point, even if it was just to myself. As a teen, I probably would have been silent in the moment about a lot of these instances and then gone on a tirade to myself or a friend later about how sexist it was. But these days Iām just tired and I get a little joy out of what feels like working the system. So sometimes, if Iām just tired or lazy and someoneās offering to do it for me, I let them. If they want to think Iām incompetent then they can also put in the physical labor to do so.
(P.S. I want to be clear that this not meant for terfs, they can fuck right off, Iām putting it in the body of my text for a reason. The point of this post is to discuss my experience and see if anyone else has experienced similar, including trans and non-binary people. So again, terfs can fuck off because I have zero interest in their experience as it relates to this post or really anything they have to say unless itās āIāve realized I was wrong.ā)
