DO GOOD RECKLESSLY

d a n k  m e m e s  a n d  a d u l t  t h e m e s  f o r  e d g y  t e e n s

[whimsicalfairytales]

I really do think that it’s good for the soul to be unironically pretentious about something. Not in a gatekeeping kind of way but in a “yes, it really is that deep and I would love to enthusiastically and passionately explain why” kind of way.

[haarute]

pov you are sent to hell

[sodeathitis]

They grow grants there like rhubarb

[grickle14]

Patron.

[contemptible-scoundrel]

You're the Michael Sword.

[contemptible-scoundrel]

wield the Michael Sword

[natalieironside]

Every night at Camp Malaprop we would stay up late sitting around the campfire telling spooky goat stories

[cipheramnesia]

I was really scared by the one where the calls were coming from inside the horse

[typhus-andronicus]

I like the one about the man with a hawk for a hand

[nudityandnerdery]

I still can't sleep because I'm too freaked out about Bloody Manny.

[ixiagrey]

It's the one about the babysitter and the clone in the corner that gets me.

[traycakes]

I'm too easily scared, I still freak out when someone flashes their high beans at me while driving.

[iwannabeaswampwitch]

Lots of drama in our household

[a-book-of-creatures]

Is it socially acceptable to use opaque watercolors, or is that considered gouache?

[penandinkprincess]

listen i'm not advocating for exotic animals as pets, but i really just feel like cheetahs are probably different

i feel like we need to give them another shot as housebeasts

[penandinkprincess]

this is a critter who wants greenies and then to take a nap on the couch next to me, and i KNOW it

[penandinkprincess]

cheetah in House perfec t size for put inside! inside very Soft and Comfort cheetah sleep soundly put cheetah in House. Put Cheetah In House. no problems ever in cheetah in ho use because good Happy and Satisfy for human where sleep. House yes a place for a cheetah put cheetah in house can trust cheetah for giveing good love to humans in house. friend cheetah

[justasmidgx]

I mean, as someone who as worked in a zoo, this is fairly true.

Obvious disclaimer that you shouldn't have wild animals as pets.

But like, cheetahs are the only large cats that keepers will do free contact with. Hell, even most small cats don't get free contact. (Because small cats can be VICIOUS. They'll have a baby pallas cat wearing thicker gloves than when handling an owl. Because small cats can just be vicious.)

Like I think the only other cat at our zoo where I've seen free contact with was servals? Because I know they've used servals in shows to demonstrate their natural jumping ability. But I know servals can sometimes have a mean temper as well. Meanwhile they'll do the cheetah run and afterwards put the mic by the cheetahs and it's just like an engine with them purring. It's fascinating to watch when the message in every other large animal is "no free contact because it's dangerous even when they're born in captivity".

Legit if any wild animal could be adapted to a pet it would be cheetahs lmao. Only problem is they can be skittish and very anxious and that's why they're often raised around dogs in zoos to gain confidence.

[penandinkprincess]

congrats, i award you funniest take on this post

[flareonfloof]

she c5 on my e4 til i long castle

[flareonfloof]

why did this get put on a porn blog. is the sicilian too sensual for main?

[jungwildeandfree]

unfortunately being slightly woke in new england makes you instantly aware of how many of the "haha funny long new england town name" jokes are actually secretly about the straight up names of various indigenous groups, some of whom no longer exist. this is one of the many ways that living in new england makes you more annoying

[mapsontheweb]

Most oddly named town in each US state.

[ohifonlyx33]

i love small towns in America.

[trochaic-mutant-ninja-tetrameter]

🎶Volcano, Hawaii! Ding Dong, Texas!🎵

[fireandslate]

Looking for something new to read this summer? Blank Slate is a dark fantasy webserial about fire, hope, lesbians, religious oppression, and rebellion--and also includes:

post-apocalyptic fantasy kingdom

evil church (with not-so-evil theology)

sinister sellsword haunted by a kindly demon

anxious minstrel who is more clever than she lets on

cold-eyed and treacherous knight with a cool sword and perfect skin

devout and defiant nun who is lethal with a flintlock

courtly knights that wear steel armor

cryptic druids with ancient gold

infrequent but frightening bursts of otherworldly dread

and ever-present,

--an indestructible, stubborn thread of hope electric--

--reminding us that every tyrant will in time come crashing down.

Dark, sapphic, mystical, and updated every Sunday, this character-driven, long-form fantasy web serial is available to read at fireandslate.com!

[bargarean]

[bargarean]

reblog my post boy

[meanbuddhist]

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

[jennelikejennay]

turn your attention to The Character

[clementine-kesh]

in a way grief sex is like having a threesome with a ghost

[nyanletnest]

hold it gentlestyle

[valtsv]

"here's my original character, Man Who Sucks But Loves His Daughter Very Much" and it's a guy who worships at the altar of patriarchal violence and the woman he uses as an excuse and an effigy to absolve him