Always Meant to Be

I'm so sorry you were hurt. I don't think you'll ever know how much I love you. So I'll just write it down for these strangers on the internet. And maybe they can relate. Or maybe I'm alone in feeling this way. You're the Fry to my Leela. You're my sleepyheaded boy. I wish you could understand. I wish I could tell you in a way that would make you feel how deep my love is. Make you love me as I do you. I love you. I wish you could understand that.

[frylovesleela83]

I can’t breathe Without you here Next to me Making sure I do Like how you always used to make sure I ate that day And I had enough And that I was taking care of myself

These days I don’t I can’t bring myself to care any longer About myself Not without you Beside me The place that you belong I miss you More than I have ever Ever in my life Missed another person More than I will ever admit To another living soul Though when it’s just me in this bed Lonely and feeling so I feel like screaming to the sky How much I miss you But all that comes out Is a whispered prayer Saying over and over again “I miss you.”

As if you could somehow hear me Feel it in your bones As if you could somehow Bring yourself to care I wish I hadn’t been such a fool That fateful day And I guess Every single day before that I wish I had known what I’d had Before you had gone Before I was here alone My heart torn out I wish I were yours again Though I don’t think I ever was in the first place I may be a fool And it may be crazy To hold on to this hope But one of these days I still believe You’ll come back to me And I can show you just how sorry I am

And how much I missed you And just how much

I love you

[frylovesleela83]

I’ve been doing things That remind me of you Now that you’re gone But I don’t think it’ll be forever I think it’s just for now I know you’ll come back soon And you know I’ll be waiting here for you With wide open arms As usual

But I can’t help but miss you We burned bright for a while And burned up in an instant I haven’t even known you for long How dare you make me feel like this Make me feel again Make me want you so bad That I feel an ache in my soul When you’re gone How fucking dare you

[frylovesleela83]

I just want to scream From the top of the rooftops From the top of the tallest mountain At the world At you How I feel How I can feel so deeply How much I can feel now Now that you’ve come into my life You made me feel again I wish you knew how important that was How impossible it felt Just last year I wish I could tell you how I felt Scream it at your face When you stare so impassively I love you so much Why the fuck can’t I tell you I’ve never felt like this before I love you so deeply It felt like waves crashing over me Drowning me Your love feels like drowning

And I’m ready to die

[frylovesleela83]

You came into my life So very suddenly You were in both of my classes That semester we met Little did I know I’d pick my classes based on you the next And the following Though you dropped them You had asked me a question that second week That I can’t even remember now But I had remembered your name And you had smirked When all I had responded with Was asking if I got your name right That smirk sent a bullet Straight through my heart If I had known then What I know now I’m unsure if I would have continued Or dropped out of college Just to not see you To not feel the pain I do now I know you feel what I feel I really believe that you do You’re just scared And god do I understand that I’m scared too With how you make me feel So much more than I ever thought I could We’re broken But maybe We can be broken together Instead of what we are now Broken apart I wish you were mine Forever and always If you asked me now If I would be yours I wouldn’t even hesitate I’d be yours in a heartbeat

[frylovesleela83]

We were always Always meant to find each other Always meant to be I know you know this Somewhere deep Deep down inside yourself Star crossed lovers Split apart by life Parallel lines coming so close to each other Yet never touching But we touched And when we did My soul was fire And I could feel yours Hidden away Away from the sun There’s a sadness inside of you You’ve been hurt You’ve been burned I just want to fix you Want to show you what love Truly is and how I feel I will love you forever And always Even if you don’t feel a thing For me

[frylovesleela83]

I never wanted to feel in the first place I always hated feelings But with you It felt so natural As the words rolled off my tongue Whispered hastily So many times Into your tired ears Maybe you heard them In your dream Maybe in that moment You could feel how strong My love for you is And always will be

I love you I whispered into my pillow As we were on skype While you were asleep And I was drunk Drunk off wine And my feelings for you I never knew I could feel anything So strongly

I had never wanted to feel again

[frylovesleela83]

How am I supposed Supposed to let you go I can’t stop these feelings I can try Try as hard as I can Try harder at this than anything before I still can’t do it I can’t stop feeling They’re too strong For me For you I know you don’t want me Not anymore But with you I feel safe Safer than I ever have You make me feel whole again Like nothing could ever hurt me Like you could save me From everything in my past Like you can just make it disappear Like it never even happened We still talk Like the conversation never happened Like we never shared those moments Those intimate moments Where we were one And it was beautiful It was everything I’d ever wanted Ever needed Yet you don’t seem to understand How I fell so hard for you Baby It’s because you’re you And I love every bit of it Every single thing I learn about you I love you even more I didn’t think that was possible I never thought you were possible Never thought I could feel like this So deeply I never thought That we would end Not like this

Though we never even began

[frylovesleela83]

My dream man Probably would look nothing like you Honestly But dammit, baby Why do you have to be him The goofy faces you make The way you hold me The tenderness in your smile In your eyes When it’s just us I miss you when you’re gone Why can’t you let me in? Just let me in I promise I won’t hurt you like the others did I know you can’t trust anymore But please Trust me I would be so good to you I would hold you, because we both need it I would love you like you deserve I would make you feel whole again I would hide you away from the world I would never Never hurt you Not like they did I know you’re hurt From your past I know you don’t think That you’re good enough But baby, just trust me You’re so damn good And I hate that you can’t see it And I hate that they hurt you so Please Just let me in Let me love you Like you deserve

[frylovesleela83]

The smell of spices Lingers around me When I leave your place It’s the smell of you Not quite acrid Though maybe to others I poured out my heart To you through a text And you told me To dismiss the feelings So I told you I would hide them away For the rest of my life I lied I cannot dismiss the feelings so easily Not when I’ve fallen this hard And this fast I didn’t mean to I never liked feeling But you made it so easy And on some faraway level I hate you for it I can’t help but feel things for you I can’t help but try to make you happy See the smile That lights up my world I wish I could stop I wish I could forget you Like some dream That would just drift away You are my dream And I cannot have you