ᵃⁿᵍᵉˡ ᵒⁿ ᶠⁱʳᵉ

SOMETIMES I DON'T RECOGNIZE MY NAME. I'M A ZOMBIE IN THE MORNING TRYING TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY. AND THE ONLY THING I'M LOOKING FOR IS S O M E O N E WHO UNDERSTANDS.

[ftgage]

@lana_jameson: @gagerowland wtf i ws kidding 😔 do u actually nt like my red cowboy boots i'm DISTRAUGHT!!!!

@gagerowland: @lana_jameson no i'm srry i lied!! i do like them i just wnted to be differnt :( it wasnt worth it

[ftgage]

@lana_jameson: @gagerowland ur TOO sweet n TOO adorable n frankly i am jst SICK OF IT!!!!

@gagerowland: @lana_jameson srry maybe i can be mean

@gagerowland: @lana_jameson i dont like ur shoes

[ftgage]

@bansheemans: @gagerowland your head is too small

@gagerowland: @bansheemans oh :/

@gagerowland: @bansheemans thank u i needed that

[ftgage]

@gagerowland: feeling left out can someone be mean to me? :)

[ftgage]

text 📲 wifey 🌹

audrey: you're right. I don't care.

audrey: i'm fine.

audrey: whatever happens to me will happen

audrey: people can fuck off. honest.

gage: nooooooo

gage: no

gage: that aint it

gage: how would you feel if i said that

[ftgage]

text 📲 wifey 🌹

audrey: how am I acting?

gage: like you don't care what happens to you

gage: everyones telling you that its not good

gage: and you dont even care

[ftgage]

text 📲 wifey 🌹

audrey: not trying to hurt me? what else would be the point of calling me out on twitter instead of just fucking coming to my face or dm'ing me?

audrey: would that have been so difficult?

audrey: blasting it was meant to hurt.

audrey: I'm just done. done with the bullshit.

gage: listen to meeeee

gage: no one hates you

gage: everyone just hates felix

gage: and how youre acting scares me

[ftgage]

text 📲 wifey 🌹

audrey: not all that much to care about, tbh.

audrey: whatever. let's forget about it. it's fine.

audrey: i'll be fine.

audrey: fuck people. fuck their opinions.

gage: no no

gage: ima need u to take a step back

gage: sorry that sounded mean

gage: i just think that what people are saying about him is important

gage: you need to listen

gage: dont just block it out

gage: no ones trying to hurt you

[ftgage]

text 📲 wifey 🌹

audrey: i know

audrey: it's just

audrey: I know what it's like to have no one

audrey: to feel like everyone is against you and people couldn't give two shits about your existence. so I gave him a chance

audrey: sure, has that thinking got me into trouble before? hell yeah.

audrey: but underneath all the messy bullshit, he's a genuinely nice dude

audrey: so idek anymore. my brain hurts.

gage: just because he's nice to you right now doesn't mean he's nice

gage: he was nice to saige at one point to

gage: idk i dont want to fight with you again

gage: i just think youre making a mistake with him

gage: i know why you think its ok but

gage: i think you deserve better

gage: and i wish you cared about you as much as i do

[ftgage]

text 📲 wifey 🌹

audrey: you are the literal light of my life ❤

audrey: not a promo but go check out my twitter. things kind of got....well a moment occurred.

gage: ok i looked

gage: you know i love you

gage: but you know i dont like felix

gage: i think everyones right about him but you know him better than i do so idk

gage: i dont want you to think i'm against you

[ftgage]

text 📲 wifey 🌹

audrey: okay. I'm done being a bitch to you. i'm sorry I had a moment.

audrey: can you find it in your heart to let your dumbass friend escape the stupidity of the internet with you?

gage: i'll have booze & food ready for you :)

gage: doors unlocked

gage: i have no idea what happened but do you want me to do something

gage: i'm not good at fighting but i'll stand in front of you and plugs your ears with my fingers

[ftgage]

bnjigates‌:

“That’s a great story, Gage,” Benji said simply, snorting at the thought of trying to force feed a toddler liquids. Taking the bottle, Benji investigated the label before pouring his own shot, careless about whose glass he was using to do so. “Does it? In that case, count me in. I’m genuinely a bit cold. AC is always way too fucking high in the summer,” he complained aloud, pouring the vodka in the way that it made a bit of a mess. Pick it up, he shot it back, coughing at the harshness of the alcohol. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said. “My dad and I don’t get along sometimes and he kicked me out. It’s not a big deal, I mean, I technically live at Audax and my actual home is at my grandma’s. He’s just an asshole. Just wanna forget about it. What works for you, works for me.”

Gage actually tried to listen when Benji was explaining his home life. He knew what it felt like to not have a home and he knew what it felt like to be unwanted. It was hard for him not to frown at the thought, immediately feeling compassion for the other male. ❝Who needs dads anyway? I don’t even have one. I turned out fine.❞ The words didn’t come out how he intended and he felt the need to quickly fix it by adding,  ❝--I’m sorry. That's rough. I hope things get better for you soon. If you ever need someone to complain to, I'm your guy. --But, yeah, let's forget about it.❞ He offered Benji a soft smile, somewhat forced but still genuine.  ❝We got paired together to design a room...for the party. What do you wanna do? I’m not good at drawing, or painting, or...planning, but I’ll try my best. We can hit up a Walmart. Buy some rainbow cups? That’s all I’ve got so far. ❞

[ftgage]

lcofowler‌:

As embarrassing as it was, Leo was aware of the fact that he looked like an extra that just walked off the set of a slasher movie. The sunglasses that sat restlessly on the throbbing bridge of his nose made it hard to notice the shiner surrounding his still somewhat swollen left eye, but still managed to leave very little to the imagination. Two fresh cuts that still resplit at the slightest of smiles were found on the corners of his bottom lip and a butterfly stitch was in plain sight across the deepest cut that’d graced his browbone. At this point, it was hard to find anything resembling the previous peach tone Leo generally adorned, face a cocktail of blue’s, purples, some greens and yellows where Felix’s punches had grown sloppy. Leo looked gross, and while he kinda loved it, the fact that practically the entire campus knew how he got to look like this was merely humiliating, “You can sit, y’know,” pointing to the empty seat across from him in the cafeteria when he recognized a familiar face stopping to do a double-take, Leo’s brow rose almost mockingly. It was uncharacteristic of him to be seen anywhere alone if he could help it, but the silence was actually a bit of a comfort these days, “It’s not contagious. You won’t wake up tomorrow with a broken nose and… blind or something. Though that’d be cool. Like, shitty but. Kinda cool, I think.”

Gage was normally off in his own world. He didn’t pay much attention to what was going on around him and was always the last person to know. He hadn’t even recognized Leo sitting on his own, which is why he stopped to stare for so long, really trying to take in what he was seeing. The concern on his face was clear as day. There was a sad pout where a smile normally was, staying silent as he slowly sat down at the table with him. ❝Why do you look like that?❞ He questioned, leaning in to get a better view. He didn’t even take into consideration that Leo might not have liked the invasion of space. All he could focus on was the bruises, trying to come up with ideas in his head about how he could make the situation better. ❝Listen...I’m not much of a fighter, but I own a pair of combat boots with studs on them and I’ll kick anyone you ask me to.❞ He offered Leo a weak smile, though his brows were still furrowed, eyes wide and almost puppy-like.  ❝Oh, god...but what if...I don’t run away fast enough.❞ He mumbled under his breath, turning away to think about it for a moment before turning back,  ❝I would still do it for you. --We could match.❞ He wasn't good at comforting people much, though he was trying his best.  ❝Do you want...ice? Do you wanna get high?....Do you want...a hug? I wish genies were real. I would wish this away.❞ He was rambling at this point, like word vomit pouring out. If it weren’t for all the unsure pauses, Leo might not have been able to get a word in. 

[ftgage]

@gagerowland: @BillNye how do vegtables make u smart if they come from the ground? news flash dead bodies come from the ground nd dead people are the stupidest! there brains dont work

[ftgage]

audrey-ashbo‌:

no one would argue with the fact that audrey was dramatic. so when the fourth location request from gage popped up in her notifications, the girl excused herself and made her way over to his room. loud knocks pierced the hallway as she probably broke some dormitory rules. did she care? did audrey ever care? fists flung onto the wood harshly. “gage! open up!” her voice was exasperated yet booming down the still space. “don’t think just because you hide behind the door I won’t start climbing up the fucking building to get in. you know me. I’d do it!”  

@ftgage

Gage was worried for Audrey and he didn’t want to be obnoxious about it, but he cared about his friends safety. He didn’t like when she put herself at risk of being hurt, which she did often. He was a hypocrite because he did the same every night. He’d much rather hurt himself than see the people he cares about hurt. The knock on the door scared him at first, unsure of who it might be. When he realized it was Audrey he rushed to open it.  ❝Hi. Why are you being loud?❞ Was the first thing he said, opening the door completely and standing aside for his friend to enter.  ❝I thought you were busy?❞

[ftgage]

bnjigates‌:

“Maybe when I was little? Seems like the kind of thing I’d have done when I was like three and wanted attention,” he said, nose wrinkling as Gage continued. “Raspberry vodka,” he repeated. “I mean, I totally admire your ability to not worry what people think, but seems kinda, you know, like an odd choice,” Benji continued, laugh escaping him despite his sour mood. “Whatever. Hit me with it. Either the shot or just the bottle straight to the head.”

❝When I was three I didn’t know how to drink anything. My mom had to open my mouth and pour stuff in. That’s what she told me at least. I don’t remember.❞ Gage shrugged, taking back his shot, visibly disgusted by the taste. ❝A girl gave it to me. She told me I look like I’d drink anything...Hey, she was right.❞ He laughed softly, the smile never leaving his face as he poured himself another shot, this time sliding the entire bottle toward Benji. ❝Hit you with it? I don’t wanna do that. --You’re suppose to drink it. Makes you feel warm and fuzzy.❞ Shaking his head, he had obviously taken the statement more literally than he should have. It took Gage a few minutes to process the fact that something was wrong, but as soon as he noticed the signs he made sure to ask, ❝Are you okay? You can talk to me. I'll probably forget what you said.❞ 

[ftgage]

romeofredette‌:

Romeo’s harsh expression faltered for a second, the cruel sneer he’d been wearing falling away as Gage crumpled under his words, but quickly returned as if it didn’t wrench at his heart to see the man so uncomfortable. He’d really liked Gage, maybe even loved him, and echos of that fondness still made themselves known even after what he’d done. The infidelity had completely caught Romeo off-guard, which made it hurt even more, and what drove his persistent anger. How dare he try to small-talk him after everything? He’d made it abundantly clear he didn’t give a damn with their relationship when it was at its best, so why the hell should he care now?

“Fucking peachy, Gage. Living the goddamn dream,” Romeo scoffed, his voice heavy with sarcasm. “You want to buy me a coffee? Go right ahead, I won’t stop you. Just know it won’t earn you any brownie points.” 

Gage was still sad, the frown hadn’t left his face, but Romeo agreeing to let him buy coffee felt like a big step. It was an excuse for him to stick around and that’s all he needed. ❝Okay? I don’t even want a brownie. I already ate.❞ He responded quietly, his voice low and shy. Opposite to how loud and expressive he normally was. He reached into his pocket, digging around for a moment and pulling out a small wad of cash. Crumbled paper receipts fell onto the floor in the process, causing a few funny looks from the people around them. He didn’t have a wallet, but either way, he shouldn’t have been carrying that much money on him. ❝Do you want breakfast? --Whatever you want. Order it. I’ll pay.❞ They didn’t discuss Gage’s job when they were together. It was something he chose to keep hidden and was ultimately the fall of their relationship. Same as all of his others. He was growing tired of the sacrifices he was making, but he wouldn’t stop, as much as it was starting to hurt him.  ❝Do you have a game coming up? I found out recently that food makes you smarter. Isn’t that crazy? So, maybe it helps with sports and stuff too.❞ He offered Romeo a soft smile, knowing he wouldn’t care for it, but wanting to show he means well anyway. ❝Maybe we can sit down and talk some more -- If you want.❞