I Literally Hate Him

!! currently tagging ‘#endgame spoilers’ !! see also: Odin, Thanos, Ego

[f0mgl3]

i wont ever forgive endgame for not only making tony “forgive” his abuser but also making him hug the asshole

[irondad-defensesquad]

now that i think of it, i'm 100% sure that the snarky macho womanizer tony tries to be is definitely because howard was indeed the macho womanizer. i haven't seen peggy carter but in tfa howard is very obviously the Man around. he creates stark industries. he's the one behind the us weaponry. he's the big Man that the straight white media loves.

i rlly think tony tries to be like younger howard bc the world expects him to be howard. we see that in im2. howard puts up this whole big stance when in reality he's a very cruel neglectful man who can't even bother to give his son attention. tony was never even told he was loved. the most basic confirmation of affection. and in the im2 related comics, howard does indeed physically abuse his son. tony wanted to go back to boarding school bc of his father.

so we see that tony isn't happy playing that toxic womanizer image. tony isn't like his father at all. tony actually cares even if he tries not to show it. even before his big development you see tony does indeed care for rhodey, happy, pepper and yinsen, tony takes yinsen's words to heart. yinsen is the person that points out the truth behind it - "so you're a man with everything and nothing".

dare i say the side you dislike about tony is actually his father, not the true tony.

[moontheoretist]

This. This is a quote which will always confirm to me that Tony and Howard are NOTHING alike. Even if Howard was once closer to Tony in Agent Carter TV show, he eventually changed for the worse, while Tony even though he was just selling weapons and not caring much before Afghanistan, he changed for the better and was gradually changing for the better with every movie. At first, it was about his weapons killing the American people it was supposed to protect. He was American, so why he should care about middle eastern terrorists? But then it became more. He saw people in Gulmira dying from the very same weapons which killed American soldiers, and it was speaking to him on some level. He wasn’t indifferent. He was furious that his weapons brought harm to innocent people. He was ignorant before, but after that he wasn’t, he had to do smth, anything. Tony always cared for the people more than for his own self-interest. He cared about American soldiers, he cared about Gulmiran civilians, he cared about American civilians, he cared about Sokovian civilians, he cared about Nigerian civilians and about basically anybody on this goddamn planet. Yeah, he was feeling guilty, but he wasn’t helping people because he felt guilty. He was helping because he cared, and he cared even more when he was the reason people were suffering, but it doesn’t mean he didn’t care when it wasn’t his fault. This is just a type of person Tony was, empathetic, even if he was more often than not an asshole. But he changed even in that regard for the better later on.

[tin-can-iron-man]

FUCK Endgame (and honestly I could end the post right here but I'll continue anyway) for trying to paint Howard Stark in a good light. Here's a not so FUCKING FRIENDLY reminder that he was cannonically emotionally abusive in the mcu and cannonically physically abusive in the comics to the point where he is not JUST an ACTUAL DEMON in Hell but Tony's personal torture demon, in Hell. Having Tony forgive him does not bring any kind of closure. Tony Stark does NOT have to forgive his ACTUAL GODDAMN ABUSER. Do you understand how shitty of a goddamn take that is. Did they not read their own script. Howard Stark is an irredeemable asshole and he's not MEANT to be forgiven. Tony, as a full grown adult is still haunted by the mindset and self destructive tendencies HOWARD imprinted onto him since he was 8 years old or younger. He's emotionally tortured to this day BECAUSE every good trait he has was considered weak and useless in the eyes of his own father and it was something Howard wanted and ATTEMPTED to choke out of him. The fact that ANY piece of media turned around and said "this chatacter should be forgiven despite the savage abuse and lasting mental and emotional scars he gave his child." Is absolute shit for that alone.

[fuck-howard-stark]

hi! discovered your blog a few days ago and i'm really loving your posts! just wanted to say keep up your awesome work ✨

!!!! oh gosh thank you so much 🥺🥺🥺 sorry it took me so long to respond to this, i hope you're having a lovely day!!!! 💖💖💖

[fuck-howard-stark]

Sorry if it’s rude to ask, but what is a Dissociative Identity Disorder

hello! not rude at all, no worries!

dissociative identity disorder (DID) is the diagnosis for what was formerly known as multiple personality disorder (MPD)!!

it’s a disorder formed due to repeated childhood trauma before 6-9 years old, and characterized by two or more distinct personality states (often called alters, short for alternate identities) and dissociative barriers/amnesia between alters!!

that’s a very brief explanation but if you have any questions abt details feel free to ask! i’m open to all questions and will try to answer as best as i can 💖

[fuck-howard-stark]

Hey, I think Maria suffered from battered wife syndrome. Howard probably made the rules and she had to obey. However, I see fanons stating Howard was “faithful” since there were no hints of his infidelity but I call bs. He was trash .. the only way I could believe it is that he was too old, therein low libido. I’m not sure did tabloids and paparazzi exists during Howard’s time? Could Tony google his dad past scandals? XD anyway! Hope you r staying safe and uve got an awesome blog. ❣️

anon bless u, yes battered wife syndrome def tracks in my opinion!!

also yes, i feel like just because it wasn’t obvious that he was unfaithful doesn’t mean it couldn’t have happened! and very true re: google, like there’s still gotta be ways for tony to find out?? i highly doubt that there was absolutely nothing from that time frame. like. aaaa.

and thank u!! i’m staying safe, hope ur doing the same!! thank u so much for this message and for the kind words 💕💕💕

[fuck-howard-stark]

Y’know, I didn’t really realize it before, but after going through your blog for a while... I never found Thor’s behavior in Endgame funny. I guess it kinda occurred to me that is was supposed to be, because the writers put it in for that purpose, but it really isn’t. So yeah. Your posts about Thor in Endgame are super valid and I agree entirely.

!!!!! hi yes thank you!!!! i’m so glad other people felt the same way, thank you thank you!!

[fuck-howard-stark]

Hey. Happy New Year! In one of ur previous answer anon ask. The anon said that Tony associated “sex and drinking with Howard” I assume the anon was talking about MCU, but we don’t know for sure Howard was an alcoholic in the MCU and Tony wouldn’t know of his dad womanizing days so he couldn’t have associate “promiscuity” with his dad. I just think Maria raised a man that only saw women as objects. Mothers should teach their sons to respect women, lets criticise her too

man i really gotta check my asks more often,, @ tumblr mobile fix ur shit bc i don’t even remember getting this but my memory is also trash so it was probably me. but let’s blame tumblr anyway

anyway hello! happy,, close to halfway through the year? oof. but! regarding howard as an alcoholic in the MCU, it’s not mentioned in the movies but it is in the tie in comics that are canonically part of the MCU timeline.

while tony obviously wouldn’t personally remember his dad’s promiscuity, i cannot possibly believe that he wouldn’t have heard about that. with both tony and howard being in the spotlight as frequently as they were, i absolutely do not believe that there weren’t tabloids that mentioned it, or that the public didn’t gossip about it, or that howard didn’t talk about it with old buddies.

as for maria, i’m going to try to tread lightly here. because as his mother, yes, she absolutely had a hand in tony’s upbringing, i won’t deny that. but with that, i think maria would have been a... “typical” housewife for the timeframe, bending more to howard’s wishes than howard bending to hers. i think a lot of women had to deal with that “fathers letting their boys be boys” rhetoric, a rhetoric we still have to this day.

also, howard was abusive. alcoholic or not, he was a distant, neglectful, and emotionally abusive man. i would not be surprised if that was aimed at maria as well as tony. again, i’m going to try to tread lightly here, and i’m not entirely sure of the best way to phrase this, but i think it’s important to understand that it’s difficult for anyone being abused in the house with an abuser to fight back. someone should have done something, but i’m hesitant to blame maria for potentially being too afraid to fight back against their abuser. but there’s a fine line between self-preservation and indifference, and maria’s an adult whereas tony was a child. i really don’t have a cohesive answer here, i just... want to take into consideration that she was also likely being abused.

i certainly think maria had a major influence, whether passive and/or active, in tony’s upbringing and personality and development. but i absolutely don’t think it’s “”just”” that maria raised tony that way. that seems to place all the blame on maria rather than on both howard and maria.

[lady-tortilla-chip]

Endgame was so dumb. Making an abuser seem like a nice guy. Killing off one of the only characters who put everything she had into protecting others but sparing the guy who went on a murderous rampage because he was sad. Spared him because he “had a family” but killed off the other guy who’d spent the entire series of movies working to better himself who also had a family. Patching up PTSD with a stupid hammer. And finally a man who couldn’t let of go of the past goes back to erase the life of a woman he’d claimed to love while also abandoning the guy he’d turned his back on the world for.

Ugh.

[marisatomay]

Every Adult In “Harry Potter” Let Us Down At Some Point And That’s Important a 900 page dissertation by me

[hermionejeanblr-deactivated2022]

And that includes Joanne Kathleen Rowling a tear stained afterword by me

[actual-ironman-tonystark]

Hagrid Is The Exception a rebuttal by me

[marisatomay]

The Time Hagrid Told Voldemort How to Take Out Something Protecting an Object that Grants Immortality When He Was Drunk and Other Well-Meaning Fuck Ups a lengthy chapter

[actual-ironman-tonystark]

You’re Absolutely Right a retraction

[original-missif]

How dare you assume Molly Weasley has done anything wrong ever

[kyraneko]

That Time Molly Yelled At The Twins And Ron For Saving Harry From Abuse And Starvation, Thus Likely Communicating To The Abused Kid In Her Presence That His Welfare Was Less Important Than Not Borrowing The Car, That Time Molly Was Utterly Condescending About How Harry Is A Child And Doesn’t Deserve To Know Anything In A Way That Probably Heightened His Determination To Prove Otherwise, That Time Molly Said The Twins Put Together Aren’t As Good As Any Of Their Brothers Over OWL Results That They Worked Hard On And Were Proud Of, That Time Molly Forcibly Cut Her Adult Son’s Hair Right Before His Wedding, That Time Molly Spent A Year Being Mean And Rejectful Toward Her Son’s Fiancee, That Time Molly Sent Hermione A Deliberate “Fuck You” Present For Easter Because She Believed A False Story Written In Witch Weekly Without Making Any Attempt To Ask The People Actually Involved, Those Times She Made Her Youngest Son’s Christmas Sweaters His Least Favorite Color, And Every Time She Belittled Her Husband’s Hobby, The Twins’ Interests, And Bill’s Appearance Because She Couldn’t Be Bothered To Understand Or Value Or Even Be Kind About Them a detailed reminder that no one’s perfect and sometimes what one person doesn’t mind or see hits another person hard

[themiscyra1983]

Florean Fortescue Just Wanted To Sell Some Ice Cream And Help Harry With His Homework He Is The Only Adult Who Didn’t Mess Up Until Getting Killed By Voldemort, RIP an increasingly strident addendum by me

[kyraneko]

OK You’re Absolutely Right Florean Fortescue Was In Fact Perfect As Far As I’m Aware a concession by me

[bananacracker33]

Charlie Weasley Just Wanted To Play With Dragons a fond reminder by me

[slytherellin]

If There Were Zero Expectations For Lockhart From The Start, Did He Technically Let Us Down? An inquiry

[rhosie-wayout-there]

You’re Technically Correct, You Can’t Be Let Fown If You’re Already On The Ground an amused afterword

[stripeyboy-deactivated20210918]

Fluffy is an Adult Dog a thrilling side note

[tired-disabled-and-in-pain]

So... I’m No Longer Above Begging

Hi. This is one of our three blogs with the most followers. I’m about to beg you all for some help. I totally understand if you wanna scroll past. But if you’re willing to listen/read… we need some help.

My name is Frank. I’m one of the many of us that share this brain. We are in the process of being diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. And we really, really need to get out of our current living situation.

We are disabled. Between many multiple physical and psychiatric disabilities (all diagnosed), we are a trainwreck. And we currently live with our neglectful/emotionally abusive father, who is a big part of the source for at least three of our alters’ trauma.

We’re trying to apply for social security, but that might take a while, and we need all the help we can get, financially. We thought we’d be able to manage for longer, honestly, but it’s definitely not looking like an option anymore.

We’re fairly decent writers, so we can write on commission if you’d like (just message us about what you want/how much you’d be willing to pay, honestly we’ll do anything), and otherwise we have a Venmo (@.quasarsys) or a Ko-fi.

Even a dollar helps. And a reblog helps, too. Thank you all in advance, sorry for begging. But I just don’t know what else to do anymore.

[fuck-howard-stark]

thank you for creating an entire series dedicated to punching howard stark in the face you are a national hero

!!! thank you!!! i really enjoy writing that series, so i’m really glad people like reading it 💕💕💕

[fuck-howard-stark]

In other news, I’m already expecting Marvel to fuck up Moon Knight and once again throw mentally ill people (and particularly people with DID/OSDD) under the bus, and probably throw Jewish people under the bus again too (the Maximoff twins deserved better).

Representation would be great if they ever did it right, but at this point I’m definitely not getting my hopes up.

Feel free to come talk to me (us) about this honestly, because between the characters from both Netflix (Poindexter, Walker, Russo, Madani, Meachum, etc) and the movies (Banner, Thor, Valkyrie, Nebula, etc), they really love to throw mentally ill and traumatized people under the bus and it’s infuriating as all hell.

[fuck-howard-stark]

Thor: Ragnarok was the closest we got to Bruce’s DID being shown properly in canon, in this essay I will—

[prettiestcaptain]

same bullshit energy

[fuck-howard-stark]

[Image Descriptions: Four gifs. The first two gifs are from Avengers: Endgame. The first gif is Howard Stark saying “I’ll tell you, that kid’s not even here yet and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him” in mocking text (every other letter capitalized), and the second gif is of Tony Stark looking confused with floating equations around him.

The second two gifs are from Thor: Ragnarok, with Odin saying “I love you, my sons” in mocking text, and the second gif is of Loki looking confused with floating equations around him. End Image Descriptions.]

[fuck-howard-stark]

intention =/= reality

okay pals i’m still angry about this and the release of endgame is just bringing back all of my Angry Feelings so let’s talk about thor in endgame and why i am so tired of people laughing at him

for this post, i’m going to be comparing thor in endgame to the 2011 green lantern movie (because i’m sorry, but green lantern was such a disappointment.) this comparison will make sense in a second.

i’ve seen a lot of people talk about “oh, but they intentionally wanted thor seem funny, that’s why people laugh, not because they actually think ptsd or depression is funny!”

and here’s the thing. i don’t care what they intended for thor’s character to look like. they could have put in a literally laugh track and it still wouldn’t have been amusing. at all.

it’s like saying “oh, but they wanted green lantern to be a great movie, so that’s why it is, not because it’s actually a good movie!” like. sure they wanted green lantern to be a good movie, that doesn’t mean it was.

and this comes down to intention vs reality. the intention was to laugh at thor’s ptsd and depression symptoms. but if you actually give a shit about people with ptsd and depression, you know that it’s not funny. it’s not a joke. it’s a lot of trauma and pain that manifests in weird ways.

so every time someone says “but i laughed because they meant for it to be funny!” all i’m hearing is “i don’t see how broken and traumatized thor is in this movie and i think it’s funny that he’s not super buff anymore.”

because if all it takes is what people want us to think, then we all would have loved green lantern. after all, that’s what they wanted us to feel, so obviously we have to feel that way.