k

kiss me till i'm purple

[closure]

[bitchingandmoaning69-deactivate]

my body: I NEED WATER

me: coffee?

[photosbygy-deactivated20200605]

[05am]

[gayoverme]

Have u ever just watched someone move or talk or laugh and ur like wow how the fuck is everything you do so hot

[neckkiss]

It is.

[yasyaskovsk]

[fuckingfemmefatale]

god, i’ve seen what you do for others

[kurrusu]

*me to me*

don't think about it

[fyeaheternalsunshine]

[praying]

[patientlights]

[delusion-pandemic-deactivated20]

[fuckingfemmefatale]

i deserve someone who remembers everything.

all the days we spent together,

each more important than the last.

the little facts about me scribbled on the walls of their skull for their brain to peek at when it’s feeling lonely.

i deserve to make an impact so that when the days do feel like they blend together, days with me stand apart.

i deserve care, presence, and attentiveness.

i want someone who remembers how the wind felt on their skin when i told them i loved them.

perhaps i’m cursed with the gift of a good memory.

maybe i’ve put a lock on those memories to cope.

maybe you’re different.

but maybe i just assign the correct level of importance to things that are important.

because we were important.

but when i say “remember” you say it all blends together. it doesn’t.

remember that i went to your childhood home. that you let me read your middle school diary. remember the sun shining in the car when we snuck away to smoke a joint in the stop and shop parking lot. remember not just the moments, but that i was there too. i had a part in making each of those moments happen.

since you don’t remember, i’ll let them fade too. because what was important to me

should have been important to you.

[amortizing]

[smashing-yng-man]

[fuckingfemmefatale]

she picked me up when i didn’t want her to. treated me like her plaything. wrapped me around her finger. twisted me tighter and tighter and tighter. tangled up one end of my string when the other wasn’t even free from my last holder. i felt myself slipping away from him and tethering myself to her. she loved it too, pulling me from his hands. using her sweet words and her smart mouth, tickling my brain, tugging at my heart, attaching me to her insides. she started it, and god damn did she end it just as feverntly. always in charge of her plaything. the wound up little plaything wrapped around her what felt like a thousand and four times.

discarded now, my string in her pocket. every once in a blue moon, she twirls it absentmindedly. teasing to wrap her finger in me once more. she keeps me there. in her pocket, my holder. but she doesn’t wrap me tight in her grasp anymore. she won’t again. so now this little plaything has to understand. people can have a part of you. the lint will stick in her pocket through hundreds of wash loads. she’ll find a little tiny piece of your thread and think of you.

but it’s your turn now to take the string back. it’s you, it’s always been you. it’s yours, it’s supposed to be yours. so take back your string. tie it on your wrist in a tight little bow and fiddle with it when you get nervous. nobody can take your string for very long. you’re the only real holder. and when you want to give that little string to somebody else, you decide that. you can cut off a little piece and tie it on their finger in a loose, gentle loop. and if you want it back you can take it or you can leave it with them, that little part of you, that string. that string is you, it belongs with you. be your own holder. tickle your own brain. find it within yourself to take yourself out of her pocket, out of his. because that string needs real care now, real love. and the only person who knows how to give it that- is you.

[prurientlyy]

“Sit like a lady” Me: