MOVED TO BIGIDIOTENERGYTM.

[fuckingretired]

hi im moving rhis back to @bigidiotenergytm bc i have no self control

[fuckingretired]

me: WHY DONT I HAVE THREADS HERE!!!!! also me: never gets on

[fuckingretired]

❛ ... yeaaaahhh i can’t. fridays are MASTURBATION DAYS. ❜

( open - ! )

[foxrobbies]

[fuckingretired]

terrifiesyou‌:

              shane’s husand @fuckingretired wont stop talking about blue will smith and shane has now gone two days of no sleep cause of him.

❛ but WHY woul’ they make ‘im so FUCKABLE if they ain’t gonna put ‘im on a shirt? ❜

[fuckingretired]

someone give me a thread where rhis and ur muse knew each other during rhis’ huntin days and now they either run into each other by accident or ur muse needs his help but then sees the mess he has become and is like wtf

[memekinking]

Inbox me; "Kinky..." and I'll generate a number between 1 - 70.

VERY NSFW!! 18+ ONLY!!

Keep reading

[fuckingretired]

‘walked in on while naked’ sex - Gwen

reasons 2 get freaky. ( @prxtty-muses ! )

❛ oh. ❜ -------------- well. this was ... unexpected. he SWEARS he doesn’t do this every time he gets out of the shower. he doesn’t always walk around naked. you know, except for when he does. and it just so happens he was going to get his cup of coffee, figured there was no use putting clothes on yet, annnnnd okay, he doesn’t have a great excuse. but he also hasn’t covered himself up yet either. he stares. blinks. then raises a brow. ❛ y’know ... i saw a GREAT video once tha’ started jus’ like this. ❜

[fuckingretired]

also ‘i can’t sleep’ sex

reasons 2 get freaky. ( @windsorrose​ ! )

it was one of those sleepless nights. one where he couldn’t block out his senses no matter how hard he tried. even with the bottle of whiskey, now empty, that was hidden underneath his side of the bed --- nothing seemed to help. so now he was OVERLY DRUNK, and bored. he turns over towards the woman, spooning her and nuzzling her neck. ❛ windsyyyyyyyy ... ❜ he slurs out. ❛ ‘m hornyyyyyyy ... ❜

[fuckingretired]

reasons why rhis and klaus would get along:

1. hopeless gays 2. getting high/drunk to avoid seeing ghosts

[fuckingretired]

[fuckingretired]

he’s been drinking heavily recently. it was clear he was COMPLETELY STRESSED, rightfully so. he’s taken the last few months to help his mother, who previously wanted nothing to do with him, with his father’s funeral. then he ultimately caved in and told his mother she could move closer to him. that he’d help her now that his dad isn’t around.

needless to say, it was an experience he never really wanted. his mother’s sudden “connection” after his father died. didn’t sit right. but if this was his last chance at being with his family ... so be it. yesterday just so happened to be eventful. his mother’s been moved in to her place for a good month. he had went to help her, and ultimately nearly DIED in her new house. so now he’s damn near unconscious, struggling to take another drink of his whiskey.

he’d need a few more bottles before being even remotely okay.

( open - ! )

[fuckingretired]

oh, he’s BEYOND drunk. he has to be. he can tell there’s something weird about the other, but nonetheless, rhis knows he’s half-demon. and to even STAND being near the guy, he has to be shitfaced. but hey, if he’s gonna have a down-to-earth conversation with a demon, this is a good start. and wouldn’t ya know? the guy’s even offering him some more alcohol. he GLADLY takes it. he lets out a hearty laugh. ❛ dad’s fuckin’ SUCK! ❜ he opens the bottle on the counter top and takes a big swig back. ❛ m’old man threatened t’SHOOT me if i ever showed m’face to ‘im again. like i’d even wanna see th’ fuckface. ❜

continued. ( @heartbeatswithrage ! )

[fuckingretired]

rhis always does the do w/ his weird ass fuckin t-shirts on not bc he’s insecure of his beer belly but bc he just thinks it’s funny as shit

[minacixus-blog]

nsfw starters; fifty reasons to have sex

[offershopea-blog]

minacixus:

send a number for a starter. they are sorted into categories ;

 CATEGORY ONE; general

‘i can’t sleep’ sex

‘make up’ sex

‘break up’ sex

‘revenge’ sex

‘rebound’ sex

‘i’m bored’ sex

‘curiosity’ sex

‘first time’ sex

‘homecoming/prom night’ sex

‘hotel room’ sex

‘distraction’ sex

‘the condoms are about to expire’ sex

‘anniversary’ sex

‘snuck out of the house to hook-up’ sex

‘post-argument’ sex

‘we’re drunk and horny’ sex

‘comfort’ sex

‘walked in on while naked’ sex

‘to change the subject’ sex

CATEGORY TWO; risky/kinky/strangers

‘i need a place to crash’ sex

‘your friend just told you about a new position’ sex

‘the elevator broke down’ sex

‘end of the world/the world is in chaos’ sex

‘i can’t believe we survived’ sex

‘i caught you masturbating’ sex

‘you caught me masturbating’ sex

‘crotchless underwear is a thing’ sex

‘i’m/your pregnant and horny’ sex

‘we’re in a public place and i just spent the last half hour making you ridiculously aroused’ sex

‘you’re my teacher and i finally seduced you’ sex

‘i’m your teacher and i can’t believe your my student’ sex

‘best friend’s younger sibling who suddenly got hot’ sex

‘i saw a cool scene in a porno and i want to reenact it’ sex

CATEGORY THREE; cheating/assumed cheating

‘everyone thinks we’re banging, so we might as well just do it’ sex

‘we’ve been friends-with-benefits for a long time, and now that one of us is in a relationship, are we going to stop?’ sex

‘randomly hooked up one night and the next monday you walk into my work and i discover that my favourite colleague is actually your husband/wife’ sex

‘one or both of us is in a relationship, but we can’t help it’ sex

‘we’ve both been cheated on by our respective partners, so fuck it’ sex

CATEGORY FOUR; established relationships

‘we just got engaged’ sex

‘i thought you were dead, but you’re not and i can’t believe it’ sex

‘we were childhood sweethearts, and we haven’t seen each other in years’ sex

‘i need to lose my virginity and you’re the only person i want to lose it to’ sex

‘you just walked into my office for a job as my secretary/assistant and we haven’t seen each other in years, but sexual tension is a thing’ sex

‘our families hate each other for (insert reason here) but that doesn’t matter to us’ sex

‘we’re in a dysfunctional, toxic relationship but i still love you more than anything in this world’ sex

CATEGORY FIVE; lgbti+

‘my girlfriend left me with blue balls, and you’re her brother and i’m pretty sure i’m not gay but lets go for it’ sex

‘we pretended to be lesbian lovers to get a creepy guy to stop hitting on us, so we kissed to complete the charade and we both kind of liked it, so…?’ sex

‘you’re my room mate and you’re really hot, but we’re both guys/girls and this is new to me’ sex

‘i’m gay and you’re curious and you asked me to show you what it’s like’ sex

‘you’re gay and i’m curious and i asked you to show me what it’s like’ sex

[fuckingretired]

i wanted to draw more memes but this’ll do

[bongwatershots]

I’m BLB (Bastard loving Bastard)