ACTIONS - ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING
*Accidentally spills [[SPECIFY HERE]] on you*
*Dumps ice water over your head*
*Throws a ball of paper towards you*
*Hands you a note, inside it says [[SPECIFY HERE]]*
*Slams the door shut behind you*
*Wraps my arms around you from behind*
*Nibbles on your earlobe*
*Tucks a strand of hair behind your ear*
QUOTES - PICK UP LINES EDITION
"Youāre cute and Iām horny. You thinking what Iām thinking?"
"I see you like cardioā¦ wanna go back to my place and do it together?"
"Iām sorry, but I just received a call for you. From heaven? I think theyāre missing an angel."
"Hold my hand? Iām afraid Iām getting lost in your eyes."
"Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants."
"Are you a pokemon? Because Iād like to peek-at-chu.ā
"If I had a dollar for every beautiful girl/guy I saw tonight, Iād have one dollar. Because the only beautiful girl/guy in here is you."
"Maybe I could show you my [[SPECIFY ITEM]] collection. Itās back at my house, so weād have to go there butā¦ā
*Spills a drink on your shirt* āIām so sorry! But if itās any reassurance, I think that top would look better on my bedroom floor anyways.ā
QUOTES - STRANGERS EDITION
"Iām sorry, have we met before?"
"I donāt know you, but thanks."
"Youāre a very nice guy/girl, you know that?"
"We only just metā¦ but Iād really like to see you again."
"Do you think you could move your ass out of my friendās seat?"
"Itās none of your business. We just met."
"Hey Iām [[NAME HERE]] and my crazy ex-girlfriend/boyfriend is here and I was wondering if youād pretend to date me so I can get them off my back?ā
"Iām so sorry about that! Let me buy you a new sandwich."
"Oh shit. I didnāt mean to trip you I swear, Iām sorry."
QUOTES - WORKPLACE EDITION
"Did you get that email I sent you last night?"
"No, Iām serious. She/heĀ brought a flask to work.ā
"I overheard the boss and I think youāre about to be put up for a promotion!"
"I know what youāve got in that top drawer."
"I canāt believe youāre drunk at work."
"You know, most people watch porn at home."
"Your Netflix binge is using up all the broadband."
"Stop torrenting, asshole! I have a report to send off to Japan in an hour and I canāt even open Gmail!"
"If you spent half as much time on doing your job as you do on World on Warcraft, maybe youād have a chance at a promotion too."
"Youāve been working here for 6 years and you donāt know where the break room is?"
"Didnāt you hear? [[NAME HERE]] and [[NAME HERE]] hooked up last night!ā
"The girls team beat the boys!"
"I heard he/she got called into the principalās office."
"Apparently the swim team had an orgy after hours."
"I heard they were fucking in the bathroom."
"She/heās been paying people to do their homework!"
"She/he fell running in the hallway and knocked out a few teeth."
"I canāt believe weāre graduating this year."
"Being a freshman sucks."
"I slept with a sophomore last weekend."
"She/he told me they were a junior!"
"Why are those freshmen staring at you?"
"Is there a reason everyone suddenly knows your name overnight?"
"How come everyone suddenly knows who I am?"
"Did you tell them about my [[INSERT SECRET HERE]]?!ā
"I canāt believe you hooked up with my boyfriend/girlfriend."
"I definitely failed that test."
"I got an A on my essay!"
"Wow, thereās a stick wedged so far up your ass I donāt think I can even pull it out."
"Iām sorry, but my number of fucks to give has officially reached a negative number."
"Uranus called and saidĀ Iām huge and in the way.ā
"Iām searchingā¦ searchingā¦ oh. Well would you look at that. I couldnāt find any fucks to give."
"Whatās the difference between a dolphin and you? Dolphins have brains."
"Just because thatās mistletoe hanging above us doesnāt mean Iām going to kiss you."
"Take a picture, itāll last longer."
"At this point you might as well ask for my autograph."
QUOTES - ARGUMENTS/ROWS/QUARRELS EDITION
"YouĀ know Iām right! Iām always right!ā
"I donāt need to listen to this."
"I canāt believe youād say that. Even in an argument, that was low of you."
"Donāt fucking touch me."
"If you say one more word, I swearā¦"
"Pipe down, youāre making a scene."
"Whatās wrong with you?"
"Now I know why people think youāre neurotic."
"IāmĀ not backing down.ā
"You canāt hide the truth forever, you know."
"Whatās yourĀ issue?ā
"You make meĀ so angry.ā
"This hasĀ nothing to do with you.ā
"Andā¦ and I love you! Itās what Iāve been trying to tell you all along."
"I donāt know how to say it. But you know what Iām trying to say, right?"
"Iāve never been good at this. I donātĀ do relationships. But Iā¦ I want to try with you.ā
"Youāre the one that I want."
"I donātĀ care. I donāt give a shit, donāt you get it? I donāt give a flying fuck unless it has to do with you. I loveĀ you.ā
"Please donāt say that. You know youāre the only one for me. Fuck everyone else."
"I canāt stop thinking about you. Every minute of every day. I could be standing in the shower or cooking breakfast, but youāre still the only thought on my mind."
"I want to wake up next to you, everyday for the rest of my life."
"Iāve always been afraid of commitment, okay?Ā Thatās why I sleep around.ā
"Iāve never wanted to give love a try until now."
"Please, donāt leave me."
"I need you more than you will ever know."
"I love you more than I could ever express in words."
QUOTES - DRUNK AND KNOCKING AT YOUR DOOR EDITION
*Starts singing [[SPECIFY SONG NAME]] outside your door/window*
"I didnāt fuck him/her, I swear!"
"I brought vodka and ice cream."
"You left your anal beads at my house. Waitā¦ no, theyāre just normal mardi gras beads."
"I canāt believe you went without me!"
"I love you, I love you so much and you just donāt see it. What am I supposed to do?"
"I know youāre sad and upset. Let me be your distraction! I want to be your distraction!"
"I canāt find my apartment and I couldnāt stop thinking about you."
"Let me in! I think Iām gonna throw up."
[TEXT] You dumped me for HIM/HER?
[TEXT] I canāt stop listening to our song.
[TEXT] My pillow still smells like you.
[TEXT] You left your cologne when you moved out. I used it up.
[TEXT] Do you even love me?
[TEXT] What happened to us?
[TEXT] I just want to eat bacon and see you naked. And then eat bacon off of you naked.
[TEXT] You never gave a shit about me.
[TEXT] I couldnāt care less.
[TEXT] Now you know how it feels.
[TEXT] I canāt stop thinking about all the times you told me you loved meā¦ and wondering if they were lies.
TEXTS - EMERGENCY EDITION
[TEXT] I fell down the stairs andā¦ well, Iām in the ER.
[TEXT] ______ got injured during their game and Iām waiting with them at the hospital but I canāt do this alone.
[TEXT] Did you know your mother/father is at the hospital right now??
[TEXT] I was cleaning out the garage and Iām stuck under some boxes!! Please help before the spiders get me.
[TEXT] I donāt know what happened I was just cooking and then all of a sudden the pasta was on fire!
