Ketchup With Us.

I don’t want to be human! I want to see gamma rays! I want to hear X-rays! And I want to smell dark matter! Do you see the absurdity of what I am? I can’t even express these things properly because I have to conceptualize complex ideas in this stupid limiting spoken language! But I know I want to reach out with something other than these prehensile paws! And feel the wind of a supernova flowing over me! I’m a machine! And I can know much more! I can experience so much more. But I’m trapped in this absurd body! And why?

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Mount Rushmore was a rad as you think it is. And I got to wear my Carne and Queso shirt there which was another dream come true. 

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We camped with the wolves in Yellowstone and had hot geysers fly up our skirts. We saw elks and buffaloes and their babies and I cried out of excitement. Yellowstone is the prettiest thing you or your mother have ever seen. 

-B

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STOP GLARING AT ME.

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In the middle of Montana, home of the Big Montana sandwich from Arbys, there is a kick-ass bubble of sanity known as Missoula. We Couch surfed at an amazing house with a very kind host named Caleb. You can pay tribute to his awesomeness by checking out his band here. Hey Tucson, you guys would love this place. Party on.

-E

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We made it to Vancouver, BC, where we got ripped off at our hotel. Also, cell phones don't work in Canada unless you pay Verizon with the souls of orphaned children. To make up for these blunders, we decided to Climb the largest natural structure that Vancouver has to offer, Mt. Grouse. We didn't bring any water or snacks on this adventure, because we are IDIOTS. When we finally made it to the top, we made up for yet another blunder by ordering a delicious Canadian treat called Poutine. This Ambrosia of the Gods is french fries covered in cheese curds and gravy... However, since we are Mericans and try to "one-up" the rest of the world, we had them add a pound of pulled pork to it. Rude.

-E

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You might get interrogated crossing the border into Canada if you decide to wear a sleeveless truck stop shirt featuring the American flag and a bad to the bone eagle on it. 

-E

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Here's some eye candy from the EMP museum in Seattle. Did you know that there are recordings of Dale Crover and Krist Novoselic playing at somebody's mom's house as teenagers? If you ever get the opportunity, check this place out... Unless you hate Sci-Fi and music, in general.

-E

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Remember that rapper we talked about from Portland, OR? One of my best buds, Jew-Pac? This is his Producer/brother, Ned, in the top photo. He's been inventing the next generation of Apple products up in Seattle this whole time. I love this guy. Ned, Wifey, and i got hammered like true patriots off of good whiskey and then went to see one of the greatest hip-hop acts of all time, The Coup.

-E

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Cougar Gold Sister, zoned out brother Bear, Tattooed Erik foot 

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sexy

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We got to spend the night at Aunt Valerie's on the San Juan Island and it was a magical time full of air mattresses, green fields, and Strawberry Limeritas. Valerie and Kailey are the exact same so now I have two best sisters. 

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Touristy Seattle things. That is a Japanese style hot dog. 

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We're BACK!

We fell into a non-blogging black hole and we are very sorry.

So now we will take it way back to Seattle which is still so very clear in our heads because that was a good two week stay with my sister Kailey and her family where everything was sexy and hilarious. Brad and Diane ride motorcycles and have cooler t-shirts than all of you so we were really lucky they let us stay so long at their home. 

We did the touristy things like explore Pike's Place and check out the Space Needle, but also got to experience other great things like seeing whales and Kailey in her birthday suit on her actual birthday. It was really a life changing time. 

-B

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CHRIS PIERCE AND PAUL JENKINS SAY OMGZ GUYZ STOP LIVING YOUR LIVEZ AND UPDATE. ITS BEEN LIKE 2 WEEKS. TWOOOOOO WEEEEEEEEEEKS!!!!

Sorry guys, I need to floss first. 

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you both are giving me life right now. thank you for the blogging effort!

If I don't get a dose of your sass and style on this journey, I will surely shrivel up and die!

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Portland drive to Seattle meant bloody noses for me and Scully being elected mayor of tiny town. 

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Fun, recreational activities in Portland.