Fuck Yeah KStew's Elbows

Finally, a place to worship the finest fucking pair of 'bows on planet earth, and also the fucker who owns them.

[fuckyeahkstewselbows]

Well I’m back from my 18 month exile in Tibet where I learned to find inner peace and to no longer rely on a stranger’s elbows to find enlightenment. I am now a complete human being and can function as a normal adult once again, and no longer have any use for this blog.

But while I’m here I may as well have a look at my dash:

SWEET MERCIFUL SHIT! THE ‘BOWS HAVE EYES AND THEY CAN LOOK BACK AT US AS WE LOOK AT THEM!

This is a game-changer! The game has changed! Now they’re going to know exactly how often we stare at them. Mother of fuck this is a new world for elbows. Everything we thought we knew has changed.

Fuck....I’ve got 18 months of elbow news I have to catch up on immediately!

[radkristen]

[fuckyeahkstewselbows]

KStew is often pretty fucking good at hiding how hilarious she finds it that her elbows drive us wild, but sometimes she can't hide her amusement.

Here's KStew walking out onto a stage, fully aware of the fact her amazing bows are about to BLOW OUR FUCKING MINDS! And KStew loves that her 'bows BLOW OUR FUCKING MINDS!

And you know what, KStew? We also love that your 'bows BLOW OUR FUCKING MINDS!

[twilightstreasures]

[fuckyeahkstewselbows]

I confess I missed this when it was first posted.

I was too busy staring at the 'bows. Incidentally, "too busy staring at the 'bows" is the excuse I have to keep giving when I miss days at work. But of course, my boss just says "Didn't notice you weren't here. I was too busy staring at the 'bows."

Thank you for your kind words. And yes, I am always right there with you. Laughing at the 'bows. Smiling at the 'bows. Feeling complete due to the 'bows.

[fuckyeahkstewselbows]

"Dude, why the fuck aren't you pointing your fucking camera at KStew's elbows?"

"Because every camera here is pointed at those fucking elbows right now. I want to be the one person to have pictures of something else."

"What?"

"People in the crowd having their fucking minds blown by KStew's fucking elbows."

"Fuck yeah!"

"FUCK YEAH!"

[fuckyeahkstewselbows]

Remember the first time KStew showed up to the MET Gala, thinking it was the 'Magnificent Elbow Tournament' Gala? And she was all set to beat the elbows of every other single person in the entertainment industry but then discovered it was just some big fundraising event?

But was she embarrassed? Fuck no!

Were her elbows the best fucking elbows at the MET Gala anyway? Fuck YES!

[fuckyeahkstewselbows]

Scientists agree that this is how thoughts of the brain are divided up. As you can see, each section has it's own distinct purpose.

Science sure is amazing!

[masenswan-blog]

[fuckyeahkstewselbows]

"Is my leg in shot?"

"Yes it is, Kristen, and it looks gorgeous."

"And is my elbow fully covered and pointing away from the camera?"

"Yes it is, Kristen, and thanks again for doing that. That elbow is just so hot it completely melted my other camera."

"No problem. Happens all the time."

[babymasenjones]

[fuckyeahkstewselbows]

You can only read so many fan letters about your elbows before it starts to hurt your eyes.

Here, KStew has recruited a scruffy bystander to read to her a letter of adoration about her elbows. Because human eyes can only read the phrase "YOUR FUCKING ELBOWS ARE MY REASON FOR FUCKING LIVING!" before they get sore.

Rest those eyes, KStew, because I have several thousand more of those letters sitting on my desk just waiting to be sent.

[fuckyeahkstewselbows]

KStew's elbows are the epitome of class. They could never possibly be any classie- SON OF A FUCK LOOK AT THE WAY THOSE 'BOWS WEAR THAT FUCKING HAT!

Even heads can't wear hats that well! Fucking shit those elbows are untouchable when it comes to fashion!

[absofreakinlutely]

[ifyoureallycared]

“People have decided how they are going to perceive her. No matter how many times she smiles, they’ll put in the one picture where she’s not smiling.” - Robert Pattinson

[fuckyeahkstewselbows]

If I can take a break from our usual elbow-themed programming, I want to talk about this girl's fucking smile for a minute.

Take a fucking look at that smile! Are you fucking looking? It's like seeing two dozen miniature white elbows peeking out at you from between two long red elbows and it's fucking perfect. Just fucking perfect.

Alright. That's enough of that. Smile chat is done for this year. Please stand by for a return to discussions of glorious, glorious elbows.

[fuckyeahkstewselbows]

Need a surefire way to get yourself a Valentine's date. Just try to see someone turn you down once you throw one of these babies under their nose.

"Sorry, but I don't really see you in that wa- SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK LOOK AT THOSE ELBOWS! Your place or mine?"

[fuckyeahkstewselbows]

Say goodbye to that fucking diet, because this is all you'll ever want to fucking eat for the rest of your life!

[melindasordinos]

Kristen fangirling over meeting Robert Redford at Sundance 2014 (x)

[fuckyeahkstewselbows]

Nice of KStew to lie to make Redford seem cooler, but here's a transcript of the actual conversation:

KStew: Oh, hey! Redford: ....heeey. KStew: How you doing? You're nervous? Redford: Yeah, I'm shitting my pants. KStew: Good. It'd be weird if you weren't. Redford: I mean, I'm actually meeting your fucking elbows! KStew: You fucking bet you are!

[lazoey]

everyone has that one celebrity where no matter how shitty of a day you’re having just seeing their face or hearing their voice makes you smile and for that split second you forget about your reality and are taken away to that made up world in your head where it’s just you and them

[fuckyeahkstewselbows]

More like TWO celebrities

Those elbows are my fucking anchor. They make every day a perfect day.

[fuckyeahkstewselbows]

2013 was perhaps the greatest year KStew's elbows ever had.

Just when you thought they were already perfect, they picked up their game and blew us all away. Again! Just like they always do. And just like I know they will in 2014.

This blog turned a year old about 3 weeks ago. Thanks for 12 months of sharing the 'bow love. I always knew I was not alone in my obsession for KStew's glorious elbows, so thanks for confirming that for me.

Here's to another year of adoring those magnificent creatures that KStew calls elbows. Let's make it a year full to the fucking brim of 'bows!

And here was my personal elbow highlight of the year:

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!!

[fuckyeahkstewselbows]

Make sure you reblog this so everyone knows exactly what you want to find in your stocking Christmas morning - one of KStew's glorious elbows!

[fuckyeahkstewselbows]

Finally, a website that is able to put into words the way we all feel about KStew's elbows.