Fuck Yeah Text Posts

hi there these are tumblr's funniest text posts all in one place yay sc_online_i(355740,"ffffff","e61c1c"); Free Tumblr Users Online Counter instagram: shantellelynette function GetCookie (name) { var arg = name + "="; var alen = arg.length; var clen = document.cookie.length; var i = 0; while (i < clen) { var j = i + alen; if (document.cookie.substring(i, j) == arg) return getCookieVal (j); i = document.cookie.indexOf(" ", i) + 1; if (i == 0) break; } return null; } function SetCookie (name, value) { var argv = SetCookie.arguments; var argc = SetCookie.arguments.length; var expires = (argc > 2) ? argv[2] : null; var path = (argc > 3) ? argv[3] : null; var domain = (argc > 4) ? argv[4] : null; var secure = (argc > 5) ? argv[5] : false; document.cookie = name + "=" + escape (value) + ((expires == null) ? "" : ("; expires=" + expires.toGMTString())) + ((path == null) ? "" : ("; path=" + path)) + ((domain == null) ? "" : ("; domain=" + domain)) + ((secure == true) ? "; secure" : ""); } function DeleteCookie (name) { var exp = new Date(); exp.setTime (exp.getTime() - 1); var cval = GetCookie (name); document.cookie = name + "=" + cval + "; expires=" + exp.toGMTString(); } var expDays = 30; var exp = new Date(); exp.setTime(exp.getTime() + (expDays*24*60*60*1000)); function amt(){ var count = GetCookie('count') if(count == null) { SetCookie('count','1') return 1 } else { var newcount = parseInt(count) + 1; DeleteCookie('count') SetCookie('count',newcount,exp) return count } } function getCookieVal(offset) { var endstr = document.cookie.indexOf (";", offset); if (endstr == -1) endstr = document.cookie.length; return unescape(document.cookie.substring(offset, endstr)); } document.write("you have been here " + amt() + " times.") click my posts face about anons advice blog blogroll

[just-shower-thoughts]

If you work at a sex shop is porn still NSFW?

[toastbutteregg]

list of things to do when you’re sad:

eat chocolate

listen to music

order pizza

buy new clothes

watch movies

masturbate

[beewatch-deactivated20200725]

me: can i go to the bathroom?

teacher: i don’t know. can you?

she’s got me. i haven’t evolved a standard animal digestive system. i continue to photosynthesize my energy

[ahcalamity]

my dad is a cop and i just called him and he was like “hey i have a 17 year old boy in the back of my cop car right now that i’m running him to the station” and i asked if he was cute and my dad said “Hey, my daughter wants to know if you’re cute” and the guy said “i want to say yes, sir” and my dad started laughing so hard

[foxgraves]

blue whales are the largest animal ever recorded, like you literally need to be in a helicopter to actually see one in from a perspective with zero distortion. idk i just feel pretty lucky to be alive on earth at the same time as them and they don’t even want to kill me. they just wanna use their toothbrush mouthes to filter the ocean of smol ocean bugs. they have communities and they sing to each other to communicate. work is slow im sorry happy friday whales r so cool

[toastbutteregg]

i want a cute boyfriend and $500,000

[just-shower-thoughts]

Bullets are the only thing that do their job after they have been fired.

[thexfiles]

Anxiety: look out me: for what Anxiety: look out

[fuckyeahtxtposts]

les mis movie: *softly* do you hear-

me: *screaming* tHE PEOPLE SING SINGING THE SONG OF ANGRY MEN IT IS THE MUSIC OF THE PEOPLE WHO

[maybenotboring]

sure, I don’t get a “healthy” amount of sleep like SOME PEOPLE do but can they do THIS *stands up, blacks out for a second*

[fuckyeahtxtposts]

long legged spider: hey

scientist: daddy

long legged spider: what the fuck

[racingmiku-deactivated20180707]

I have a bath bomb from lush but no tub so I guess I’ll just have to eat it

[fuckyeahtxtposts]

me: the reason why i wake up everyday is to check my blog

[girlfig]

um that’s u’re* not ur

[wolfchasing]

i can’t fucken believe that one of the main arguments against wind farms is that they’re an eyesore

do you know what’s an even bigger eyesore?

not having fuckin trees or coral reefs or glaciers or any number of incredible natural beauties because fossil fuels and pollution and global fuckin warming killed it all dead

[subtract-me-from-your-heart]

“Why’d you let the planet die?”

“Aesthetic.”

[just-shower-thoughts]

Making fun of a fat person at a gym is like making fun of a homeless person at a job fair.

[silk101]

black lives are more important than white feelings