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YOU ARE THE REASON

Janaina Medeiros

@theartofmadeline
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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Ellen von Unwerth - Naomi Campbell (Vogue Italia 1990)
Ralph Lauren Spr/Sum 2011
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Zinnia Kumar as a Runaway Bride. Vogue China October 2023 by Zhong Lin
The only behavior I wish women would copy from men is caring less about people's feelings. I am not talking about family or friends, but literally strangers screaming demands at us. One of the reasons why women's issues are so much more policed than men's is because we are so easy to guilt-trip. We care so much about being liked and seeing as good women that we are letting people step on us. It's time to have more pride and less forced empathy.
I sometimes think about this movie I saw where a woman's husband had cheated on her with a younger woman, and she knew that her daughter was actively being cheated on in the same way by HER husband, and still congratulated herself on how she was always able to attract a man.
That's like being proud of the ability to slather oneself in filth and be able to attract a lot of flies.
It's not hard to attract a man, and even the ones women are calling "high value" these days (which really just means high-earning) are just as likely, if not more, to deceive you and discard you the moment they believe something better has come along - and until that moment they'll use you in every possible way until you don't even recognize yourself anymore. Most women would have been better off if a man had never looked their way at all, and I wish they'd stop acting as if attracting them is some sort of achievement.
When I am skeptical of a woman/girl labeling herself as asexual, I'm doing it from a feminist perspective.
How many times have we read of women saying some brainwashed bullshit along the lines of "Orgasming during sex isn't important to me, the special part is feeling close to my partner!" Or the whole conservative woman thing about "wifely duties" where sex is seen as maintenance of the relationship instead of something you enjoy together.
Women are taught by society that our pleasure and autonomy isn't a part of the bigger picture. The increased usage of the asexual label is an attempt to cope with that flawed sentiment instead of fighting it, in addition to women just plain not being attracted to people who don't enhance their lives.
Many of the women who call themselves asexual actually mean celibate (or wish they could be celibate), but that word carries baggage that they understandably don't want. If we want the word "asexual" to have meaning, it's important to focus on telling women that their pleasure DOES matter and it's okay to have standards that no one is meeting.
i mean how does anyone connect with anyone organically anymore. sure you could meet people at work but coworkers aren't friends and they're certainly not your community. sure you could meet people on dating apps but if it goes wrong they'll just disappear from your life and go shopping for your replacement. and everything else is just full of polite hi how are yous until everyone goes back to where they came from because we are so alienated from the process of getting to know each other. i think it's going to become really common for people to die alone in their homes without being discovered for weeks in the future