bloggue

i don't feel sorry for men

[aeroposter]

her haters have to reach so hard like… it’s fine if you don’t enjoy mysteries but if you do the cormoran strike books blow the whole rest of the genre out of the water. generational run of novels. stay mad

[aeroposter]

"you won't BELIEVE what evils jkr has committed now" and it's like. funding a legal defense fund for women to challenge male inclusion in women's spaces. lol ok. there are rapists and wifebeaters and physically violent men out there producing art that everyone consumes no problem but that's different. for reasons.

[atmyhighestpeak]

By far the most clear and self-explanatory example of sex-based socialization is that virtually all trans men will say “don’t treat us as though we’re exactly like other men, our experience being raised as girls in a patriarchy doesn’t just become irrelevant once we transition” and virtually all trans women will say “treat us as though we’re exactly like other women, our experience being raised as boys in a patriarchy becomes irrelevant once we transition”

[gothhabiba]

Legal scholar Robin West calls consensual but unwanted sex a personal, social, and political problem for women everywhere, from college campuses to long-term marriages. The resulting condition—that is, what happens to a woman after repeated engagement in this kind of sex—she calls consensual sexual dysphoria. Dysphoria means a state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction with life. In West’s analysis, unwanted, unpleasurable sex undermines a woman’s dignity, her sense of self-worth, her subjective happiness, and her ability to assert her equality. West’s work is relatively new. In her writing, she notes the limited empirical research available on the subject. She couches her conclusions in words like “it’s likely,” “it must be,” or “it’s hard to imagine.” For example: “It is simply hard to imagine a healthy sense of one’s own agency either developing or being sustained over the course of an adult life in which a woman as a matter of identity and habit bends her will regarding her own body for the sake of another’s physical pleasure.” I’ve discussed the issue with female friends—all of them fierce, funny, smart, independent women—and yet nearly without exception we’ve all done it. Once a year, once a month, or every goddamn night. We grin and bear sex that we do not want and do not enjoy. We follow a tradition laid down (literally) centuries ago by women without our legal rights, education, or consciousness. Why? We do it to keep the peace.

— "Allergic," Tara Conklin. In Wanting: Women Writing About Desire.

[weepyemperor]

"school is bad for boys they can't do their natural boy stuff like running around and talking.. you know boy stuff moving and speaking" oh OK

[lesbianamalvada]

i feel like there needs to be more neil gaiman hate, i expected him to get the jkr treatment. everyone has just been like "oh i'm so upset, I looked up to him so much :(". where's the harassment? where's the pipebombs? where's the thinkpiece about how dead boy detectives was fascist this whole time?

[gendiebrainrotreceipts]

Ofc ppl are gonna be confused that trans men can be lesbians when you’ve beaten into them over the last 10 years or so that these women are in all respects literal men. Historically in the gay community, trans men in general (before the rise of the fujoshi trans man) were understood to just be very masc lesbians, until you forced everyone to unlearn that. They want things simultaneously all ways all the time then get annoyed when people don’t understand, get confused or acknowledge the contradictions. They want to be constantly pulling the rug from under people, so they can go ‘oh you thought you understood it now? Wrong! It’s actually this’ and they want to constantly do that because they like to confuse people, and then wonder why allies get exhausted and fed up with the constant changing of the narrative

[cparti-mkiki]

every time someone is asked to describe what they consider to be positive masculinity (hardworking, protective, whatever) they are at a loss when the follow up question is "okay but what makes these positive characteristic masculine? women have them too"... it's almost as if it's all patriarchal bullshit lol

[cparti-mkiki]

it's even more cringe when they come up with this pseudo chivalry (lol) revival like DEFEND those who cannot defend themselves SWEAR by your honor... you are not lohengrin you are 27 and on reddit

[cparti-mkiki]

what are masculine values?

- good behaviors and values an adult man should emulate

but what good behaviors or values should an adult man emulate that an adult woman should not?

- i never said these were EXCLUSIVE to men

then why do you call them masculine values if they are not gendered

- because they are associated with men

and why is that

- testosterone

i have noticed that the qualities you call masculine are high prestige and associated with authority while the qualities you call feminine are low prestige and associated with submission and caretaking. are you sure there are no social and cultural forces at play here?

- i don't know man that's just how it is

-> etc etc again and again and again lol

[ryntynryn-deactivated20260325]

quick psa: purity culture is indoctrination that teaches women that their bodies are dirty and that they belong to their future husband only.

purity culture is not criticizing an artist for a problematic album cover that glorifies the degradation of women

purity culture is criticizing female artists for being sexual beings, it is not criticizing them for problematic behavior

[musingsunderstarlight]

I once got called puritanical on a post about "sex work" for saying that sex should be mutually desired and pleasurable for both people. That told me everything I needed to know about what these people throwing around this word really think about female sexuality. They hate it.

That's why the centering of male pleasure today is actually just an extension of purity culture. Any time female artists depict themselves solely as providers of sexual stimulation for men it does nothing to undo the stigma around female pleasure. It's why we constantly have to hear about female artists who supposedly are expressing their sexuality but rarely do we ever hear those same women expressing what kind of men they like or what sexual acts just inherently feel good to them or ever mentioning or alluding to their clitoris the way men are constantly talking about their genitals. Women are constantly defining their own sexuality as their ability to get men off. Their bodies are still "dirty" and they still belong to men only. It's still purity culture.

[valeriesolanasapologist]

Personal, and it might be TMI, but when I started fantasizing more about what a man could do for ME and MY PLEASURE, instead of centering the man in the fantasy, I got it. I got what most women in radfem spaces were trying to say about purity culture, women ACTUALLY expressing their sexuality, and centering the man over what a woman ACTUALLY likes sexually.

Sabrina isn't doing anything radical or positive. She's just reinforcing the status quo that says women are receptacles for men's dicks.

Call me when a woman sings about a man making himself cute and fit for her and sucking her clit.

[unsentimentaltranslator]

THERE IT IS. It’s no accident that the left is focusing on making women sex-positive instead of making sex woman-positive.

[feminafiles-deactivated20240919]

I was watching a documentary called the “State of Alabama vs. Brittany Smith”. It’s about a woman who killed her rapist (who, at the time of his slaying, had her brother in a chokehold). Something in it stuck with me.

When the prosecutor was speaking to her, he asked something along the line of, “Did the [perpetrator] have any visible weapons on him?”

She responded with, “His hands.”

Then he asks again, “Did the [perpetrator] have any-“”

She interrupts him and says, “His penis.”

He speaks again and then she says, “His mouth.”

It just stuck with me because…it’s so right. Men’s hands, especially men’s penises, their mouths, their whole bodies, are weapons, especially towards women. Men are significantly stronger than women physically and yeah, that matters. A woman has no or very little chance of physically defending herself against a male without a weapon, and even that’s very risky depending on the laws in your country. Men use their bodies to hit women, punch women, slap women, rape women, violate women in ways almost incomparable to when used against other men.

Considering how men view women, how they view themselves, how they view masculinity, how they view sex, women and girls have every right to be cautious around men and “picky” about the ones they have in their lives.

[kronkk]

If you ever volunteer with incarcerated women or women in halfway homes from incarceration(which I recommend) , that is a story you're going to hear a lot. They will defend themselves with weapons and then are seen as escalating and not 'reasonable reactionary force'

"I killed my abusive husband while he slept. It was the only way" charged and convicted with 2nd degree murder.

"I defended myself with a gun when he came at me. I couldnt fight back without it." charged and convicted.

"I poisoned my abusive husband because I tried to leave and he almost killed me" charged and convicted

Not to mention Stand Your Ground laws don't include women half the time, the women incarcerated for violent offenses are often traumatized victims of abusive men further being traumatized by an abusive system that punishes women for ending their abuse.

[thebasedkaiya-deactivated202605]

Opinion | Who Gets to Kill in Self-Defense?

Self-defense laws were written for men. This is how they fail women who fight back.

this article basically just goes deeper on what @kronkk says but its definitely worth a read imo. absolutely heartbreaking and eye-opening shit

[flashdyke]

love to read about the history of prostitution in japan (or anywhere) and they go, "actually women typically entered the industry of their own free will :) the vast majority of them came from starving peasant families and had no education and therefore couldn't do other work or effectively understand the contracts they were signing or what predatory loans are, but they walked into those brothels by themselves :D"

[flashdyke]

here is my marxist analysis where using poverty and starvation to extract invasive and traumatising labour isn't exploitative or coercive because it's happening to women

[aeroposter]

for pride month I have to say. that if you are feeling left out of the conversation sometimes that’s because it’s just not about you

[buzzcutbulldyke]

You know what was the craziest thing I learned from being married to a teacher? Not that the kids are watching porn and sexually harassing teachers and other students, though that's definitely bad. It's the fact that children cannot read anymore. And it's not like, some of them. 90% of her FIFTH GRADERS cannot read. She writes shit on the board but they can't fucking read it. They don't teach PHONICS anymore, they do this bullshit whole-word reading, and the result is that kids can't sound things out. They literally don't know how to read. This is horrifying to me. They also have no critical thinking abilities and don't even try to do any tasks before deciding they don't know how and it's too hard, like on a level incomprehensible to me. Like she tells me these things and it makes me think like, there's no way the general public is aware of this, right? If you aren't a teacher or a parent you must not know about this. So I am telling you. Watch some teacher tik toks. Read the teachers subreddit. Be aware. Because I'm genuinely very scared of what is going to happen over the next few years. This is fr not good.

This article is from 2019 but it talks about the issue, and touches on the two teaching methodologies

[eyecloud9-deactivated20260327]

my grandma who is a teacher told me the same thing, and that it gets worse every year

[wintertidewater-deactivated2025]

I didn't know about that, but I can't say I'm surprised. The following likely ties into it:

Children need opportunities to develop hand strength and dexterity needed to hold pencils

This Silicon Valley school shuns technology — yet most of the students are children of tech execs

Parents are worried kids don’t spend enough time outdoors: poll

More than half of American parents are worried their kids aren’t playing outside enough, according to a new poll.

"While inmates at maximum security prisons in the U.S. are guaranteed at least 2 hours of outdoor time a day, half of children worldwide spend less than an hour outside" X

A lot of societal changes are horribly messing up children's development.

[jackalopiel]

I’ve read about the affect social media (tiktok) has on children’s attention spans and it’s horrifying.

Also some examples from teacher subreddit for people who aren’t on there

the entire subreddit is like this I just randomly chose examples

[helenreddy]

I worked at a summer camp this year and decided to do friendship bracelets with my kids one day. My kids were ages 8-11, but I figured doing the standard bracelet technique with the half hitch knots would be hard to teach a dozen kids at once so I settled for a simple braid. Literally just a braid. You know, left-to-middle, right-to-middle, basic ass braid.

The kids struggled to even make the knot to start the bracelet (I showed them how, slowly, multiple times). Most of them asked me to do it for them without even trying first. A couple of the girls already knew how to braid, but for the rest? Oh my god. It was like they were just learning how to use their hands.

And don't even get me started with their handwriting! They formed a kingdom at one point, making a document to swear loyalty to the king... when I tell you their handwriting looked like someone just learning how to write... bruh. I still have my childhood diary, so I can see how I wrote back when I was their age, and there's a huge difference. These kids need to not just touch grass, but touch some damn pencils too!

[buzzcutbulldyke]

Truth! And it really is Those Damn Phones (and tablets), they aren't gaining the dexterity they would have if they were playing with their hands. My wife is an art teacher, and some of the work she shows me looks SO much younger than the kids actually are. Like, she really struggles with finding projects that her kids can do, because what we think a fifth grader can do and what her fifth graders can ACTUALLY do are not even close anymore.

[man-hating-woman-loving]

My 7th graders have to write for their independent work. They have the handwriting and spelling skills of first graders and they can’t do any kind of analysis of any text when they’re asked what the meaning or main idea is. The school system and constant technology use is stunting their education and development.

[disillusionedmonster]

I feel this in my very soul. I have year 12 students (17-18) who cannot write a sentence correctly. They miss words, make tense and syntax errors and they don't use punctuation. "The author used the theme of identity" instead of explored and their vocabulary is shocking. I sometimes wonder if the swears and foul language they use stunts their ability to speak properly. I am trained to teach analysis of texts and higher order writing like essays. But even then in year 12, their final year of school, what can you even do? Some of them are incapable of coming up with their own ideas at all, which then leaves me trying to drag them through to the point I have to sometimes just give them the idea because if I don't nothing will get done.

[aeroposter]

I also wonder if this is related to millennials insisting that common parenting techniques of the past—discipline, leaving your child alone sometimes, giving them responsibilities with consequences—is child abuse

[kiefbowl]

posts that prove horseshoe theory. put respect on OSHA's name right now.

[platycodon-platypus]

[r-osehips]

What Would You Do If Your Husband Spent $46,000 on OnlyFans?

According to sex therapists, addiction to interactive sex sites is only becoming more common.

this is a good article for the most part but imo misses the core issue even though one of the guys quoted lays it out pretty explicitly:

Paying for parasocial engagement saved Matthew from having to put himself out there. It’s funny, he says, how highly sexual he is online compared to how timid he is toward women in real life. “It made me give up on meeting someone,” he says of Chaturbate. “It was a safe place where I could get the same result, or so I thought, and not have to put in all that work.”

this is why I don't feel bad for men who claim the Male Loneliness EpidemicTM (not a real thing) "forces" them to turn to porn etc.: it's the other way around. they choose to seek out one-sided and/or transactional "relationships" with porn and online sex workers because they are completely uninterested in an actual relationship.

because an actual relationship requires work (everything from basic personal hygeine to listening skills to shared housework) -- work that to a healthy person is only occasionally dull because when you care about someone and find them interesting, there's pleasure in that work.

but to these men it all feels pointless and joyless because they do not care about women and it's not worth it to them. they don't want to have to listen to a woman talk about her day, let alone about her problems (especially not any problems she might have with him). they don't even want to engage with a woman face-to-face irl. they want a woman who cares only about them, and who doesn't ask them to care about her.

and then when their misogyny leads them into self-isolation, debt, and resentment, they turn around and say it was the fault of women all along. and then a whole society, including a lot of women, fall for it and ring the alarm over male loneliness: a problem created solely by men, and solvable only by men, which stems from misogyny and hurts women more than anyone else. it's such bullshit.

[roycohn]

honestly just kicking and spitting mad this morning about how the reason progressives and democrats have lost all power in this country is largely because of virtue signaling idpol shit i ALWAYS thought was fucking goofy all the way back to 20 fucking 12 and got called everything but a child of god for saying “maybe we should focus on actions and gathering power and coalition building and not lbeing perceived as the most ideologically correct in every situation and scolding people for using the wrong words” and yet here we fucking are and we are all going to die under fascism. i hate everyone and everything

[roycohn]

and these people are just off in their own little echo chamber on bluesky taking no accountability for the way the left became the coalition of insufferable teacher’s pets, out of touch academics who level bad-faith accusations of racism at anyone who annoys them slightly, and “zero covid” science deniers who call you a genocidair if you’ve left the house without a mask in the past 5 years. like people literally do not want to reflect on how policing everyone else’s language to death and splitting hairs over “white feminism” and harping on celebrities’ political stances and shit has made so much of this country openly hostile to anyone with progressive ideals and i could have TOLD you this, i DID tell you this in 2021 and got doxxed for my trouble, but they killed cassandra first cuz she feared the worst….

[misgenderer]

one of the most baffling things of the pro prostitution movement is their favorite mantra, “sex work is work.” that’s so funny. what do you expect me to say, “no it isn’t?” because i don’t care. makes not a lick of difference to me. you know what else is work? child labor, sweatshop labor, prison labor, slave labor, sharecropping, indentured servitude. all work. do you know why reasonable people are against those things? it’s not because they aren’t work. it’s because the inherently exploitative and potentially injurious conditions of the jobs make them morally unjustifiable. “sex work is work,” so what? what’s your point?