Ex-Tabula Rasa

I'm just an old man who has been on Tumblr for far too long. Periodic bouts of nonsense and that one Steve Jobs post everyone likes.

[fuiru]

My cat is so damn photogenic.

[theotherendcomics]

[fuiru]

Someone in my French class asked the teacher what the French translation of ‘papier maché’ is and I had to turn my camera off

[truetgirl]

Car Trunk vs Car Boot: A clear win for US English, trunk was already a thing in which you stored items, frequently for transport.

Crisps vs Chips: I gotta admit, the Brits have this one. They're thin slices of potato that have been made crispy. No chipping of any materials involved.

Car Park vs Parking Lot: Equally matched. What's a car park? A place to park cars. What's a parking lot? An otherwise empty lot where you can park.

Elevator vs Lift: Both equally fail to address that the damn thing also goes down.

[fuiru]

So are we calling this a draw or a tie?

[fuiru]

Tintagel castle is the best fucking place

[punkrockhistory]

Happy Birthday to Paul John Weller, singer, songwriter, and guitarist for The Jam, The Style Council, as well as many other musicians and bands, born on this day in 1958 in Woking, Surrey, England.

📸 Robin Little

[fuiru]

Why was Paul Weller’s mouth full of bullets? Because he’d Eton Rifles

[fuiru]

This is why my French teacher hates me

[fuiru]

This post is a compilation of the derpiest things I saw while on vacation in England.

Some Kind of Gormless Face Thing, Glastonbury Abbey, Glastonbury

World’s Dumbest Cobra, Knightshayes House, Devon

Jesus Riding a Donkey Where the Lights Reflecting on the Glass Look Like Goggly Eyes, V&A Museum, London

Horse, British Museum, London

[fuiru]

One thing you need to know about me and my family is that we FUCKING LOVE STONE CIRCLES

If you have a stone circle in your town WE ARE COMING TO YOUR TOWN and we are going to STAND AS CLOSE AS LEGALLY POSSIBLE TO THE STONES

If we can STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STONES then we are OBVIOUSLY GOING TO DO THAT because that is going to MAKE US VERY HAPPY INDEED

My last post showed off our visit to the Uber-circle, the granddaddy of them all, the big (stone) cheese, Stonehenge (and in case you missed it, here’s a reminder)

But Stonehenge wasn’t the only stone circle we visited on our trip to the UK, oh god no

Did you know that Avebury stone circle is so big THEY COULD FIT AN ENTIRE TOWN IN IT

It’s the largest megalithic stone circle in the world and you know what we did last Tuesday?

WE ABSOLUTELY STOOD INSIDE THAT CIRCLE OF BIG ROCKS

LOOK AT THIS GODDAMN ROCK

“But Fuiru,” you say, “size isn’t everything…why don’t you have any love for the smaller stone circles?”

And to that I reply

EAT MY SCORHILL-STONE-CIRCLE-STANDING-IN ASS

This is the finest stone circle in all of Devon and if you disagree YOU ARE A FOOL

[fuiru]

Guys, yesterday I was literally at Stone-fuckin-henge

Just, like, standing around at the fucking hengiest henge that ever fucken henged

There was a rainbow and a Great Bustard called Gertie and it sounds like I’m making it up but I’m not

If it feels like this post is lacking my usual trademark wit it’s because we flew back from England this morning and I have work tomorrow and I’m jet lagged as all heck

But yesterday I stood in the middle of Stonehenge and you better believe that was a good thing.

[prosthetic-placebo]

[fuiru]

It’s like a Honda Civic fucked a 1991 SN ProPad Super Nintendo controller

[eatmorebikes]

[fuiru]

One of my favourite Reddit threads was on a subreddit I subscribe to, called r/fellinggonewild. It's a place for lumberjacks (professional and amateur) to post videos of people doing tree felling work badly and offering commentary on their performance.

One time somebody misread the subreddit title and made a very long post about their feelings, and how they felt uncontrollable, and they were just so emotional all the time, and how do you even cope with all the feelings?

After a couple of well-meaning replies informing the OP that this was 'felling' gone wild, not 'feelings,' there followed a bunch of friendly responses offering helpful advice and support for the person who was obviously going through a really tough time.

It was lovely to see a community come together to help someone who had strayed into their metaphorical garden, and who nonetheless probably needed to hear that it does get better, that they should not despair of the emotions, that we all feel overwhelmed sometimes.

And also, have they considered perhaps purchasing an axe?

[fuiru]

Martika being the greatest pop singer of the 80s is a hill I will absolutely die on.

[fuiru]

As an aging music nerd whose last festival was probably in 2003, I’m a huge fan of Coachella’s livestream. They have live footage from each of the stages on their youtube account and over the last few years I’ve been introduced to some awesome music through it. Highly recommended

[thatsbelievable]

[fuiru]

There’s no limits

[fuiru]

Mrs Fuiru is making Spanische Windtorte for Easter dessert and I have to share what it looks like right now because oh my fucking god the world needs to see this. Look at that thing, it’s pretty much a hat box made of meringue

[fuiru]

Call me Godfrey and chuff me sideways, this is what they serve in heaven. This is the greatest dessert I’ve ever experienced. This is the highest ratio of meringue to mouth it’s possible to have.