They said the hole would go away
They promised I’d be whole again
They were wrong
In their attempt to distinguish the hurt.
Because,
I still can’t look your mom in the face
Without seeing your face
embedded in her kind
features.
I can’t go downstairs
In your house anymore
To where your room
Still sits, empty.
I cant look at the garage door
Because of what you did
It looks at me though,
Like a Mouth
Waiting to Swallow me up.
Your music room echoes with
The soundlessness
Of music,
That will never be played.
The silence is the most devastating noise.
I dreamed of you the other night
you were fine
Okay.
Happy.
Smiling.
Like i remember when you felt your best.
Unlike the moments you never let people see.
Which just made it all the Harder
When
I
Woke
Up
And you were still gone.
They said it’d get easier,
They were wrong.
Their intentions pure
But their words
False.
Sometimes, I leave your key on my neck when I fall asleep.
When I wake up in the morning
I have a red ring where the chain
Cut into my neck.
Every Time.
Its like this constant Ironic reminder.
Is it a Cruel joke? by God? by the Universe?
Maybe.
Because
I don’t take it off
It gets,
heavier sometimes,
The weight of the grief and the pain and the memories.
So many Memories
My own personal cross to bear.
Funny
Me making allusions to god.
You told me you didn’t believe in him
That big man upstairs.
We sat under the stairs on top of that
hill.
And you told me how what you do now is really all you have.
How your life is yours to live.
And you have to make it great.
Because there is no next life to make better.
You tried to kiss me after that.
It didn’t happen.
Like with so many girls before.
I think thats the night we became best friends.
I don’t think I’ll be whole.
No matter how many times they tell me.
Because
You were a kid
and
I loved you.
prguitarman
romaincrisis
tangentwithtanner
theartofmadeline
turnnoffyourmind
jacobvanloon
germansingergirl
