professional nut duster

stupid man

[functionalhuman-notfound]

My mom bought me groceries and then drove an hour and a half across the state just to make sure I had food, what has yours done?

[slowmopokes-deactivated20211207]

A fair fight in-

Skyrim: The enemy is stuck on a piece of furniture, you have a few dozen spells, an enchanted bow, 2000 dragonbone arrows and you can shout at people to kill them. Have fun!

Terraria: The boss monster has 4 phases, each with different attacks and stats. You have health potions, but they’re on cooldown. However, you can build the arena where you’ll fight the boss! Add some spikes!

Fallout: The enemy is a giant lizard-monster with insanely sharp claws. But you have a portable mini-nuke launcher and 35 stimpaks, so you’re fine.

Bioshock: There’s a hulking monster with a drill for a hand rushing at you! Shoot some bees at it. (Also you have a gun)

Dishonored: You can teleport and stop time, but good luck if you get noticed!

Dark Souls: the f**k is a “fair fight”?? lol just try again

[muffin-expert]

THIS 👏 HOUSE 👏 IS 👏 VALID 👏

[functionalhuman-notfound]

Everytime someone says they have an ugly ex, i show them mine and the shut the fuck up real quick lol

[functionalhuman-notfound]

45 days sober, 20 pounds lighter, new medication for nightmares and sleep, relocated to the other side of the state. Shit could not be going any better!

[functionalhuman-notfound]

Psychedelic Buddha I just finished

[functionalhuman-notfound]

My therapist gave me this list of common types of cognitive distortion. Keeping these things in mind can help you alter your behavior in a positive, healthy manner (CBT therapy).

[functionalhuman-notfound]

I'd love to have my septum done again.

[functionalhuman-notfound]

I miss my bubz. I wish I could've given him a more comfortable end, i know he wasn't happy with where we were at or who we were with. I hope he's eating all the cheese and pissing on all of the floors up there in pupper heavan.

R.I.P. Bubz

[functionalhuman-notfound]

Life has been pretty great ever since I've moved on. I got myself a girl, a job, VERY soon my own car again, and then my own place.

Never settle for less, dudes. If you're not happy, especially if you're not even attracted to your SO, you need to put yourself first and leave. Staying is never worth it. I wouldn't be alive if I had chosen to stay and try to make things work. Shit, I almost didn't even survive her fucking family.

Your happiness comes first, always.

[functionalhuman-notfound]

[calopsitasmansa]

Bom dia , desejo um ótimo final de semana para você 🐦 (em São Paulo, Brazil) https://www.instagram.com/p/CHkZLBEFMzu/?igshid=zy92fa5ehg8q

[lutzlig]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[functionalhuman-notfound]

Its seems so insignificant but something as small as "just leave me alone when I'm upset so I can recover" can literally make or break a relationship. Its really nice to be able to go when I need, and not be scared of what she would do to herself. Instead, she just watches Grey's until im ready to come back, and I really, really like her for it.

Boundaries, motherfucker. Respect them.

[functionalhuman-notfound]

The ultimate guitar cheat-sheet, stolen from somewhere on Reddit.

[recaption]