Go Further Afield

Further Afield is a hand-picked collection of gay, lesbian and straight friendly accommodation, exclusively for you. Best of all, it’s completely free to browse our properties.

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Sophie's passage to India

Travel in India can be a roller coaster of emotions, colour and spectacle, and if you want it to pay dividends then it is always best to do some advance route planning. Our India reviewer, Sophie Hartman, will be posting highlights from her forthcoming trip but before she sets out, she has created the perfect 15 day itinerary for anyone wishing to travel around central India.

Day One. Arriving in Delhi, travel straight to Tikli Bottom, for its famed 'soft landing'. Down a fresh lime soda or a stiff gin and tonic, scrub off travel weariness in a hot shower, dive into the pool and have a very Anglo-Indian start before journeying to the heart of India.

Day Two. A leisurely day at Tikli with time for a post lunch snooze, swim or walk (do visit Martin's school) before setting off for the airport to catch the 1800 Air India flight to Bhopal.

Arrive in Bhopal at 1915, to be met by the Reni Pani team and transferred to Jehan Numa Palace Hotel to feast on its fabulous Muglai cooking, and possibly watch a spot of horse racing - the hotel overlooks the family racecourse.

Day Three. Morning in Bhopal. There is much to see in this often neglected city, and you may well consider staying an extra night or even two here. The museums alone, including the best tribal museum in India, could easily absorb a full day, and the famous (Ashokan) Buddhist Stupa at Sanchi is an easy day trip from Bhopal.

Day Four. Drive to Reni Pani. The drive takes about three hours but the road passes right by the extraordinary rock paintings of Bhimbetka, and it is really worth stopping for a couple of hours. This is a World Heritage Site where you may find yourself the only visitor. Some of the paintings date back possibly 30,000 years and the art is strikingly similar to the central Indian tribal art of today.

Arrive at Reni Pani in time for a sundowner, and immerse yourself in the sounds of the jungle.

  Days Five to Eight. Give yourself a good full three days at Reni Pani, there is so much to see and do besides the superb game drives through Satpura National Park: horse riding, kayak safaris, trekking in the jungle, cycling through villages, and of course eating lots of Reni Pani's amazing food.

Day Eight. Long drive to Kanha National Park. Take it slow, and take a Reni Pani packed lunch, there are lovely spots en route in which to picnic. Arrive at Shergarh Tented Camp in time for dinner. Like Faiz and Aly and Reni Pani, Katie and Jehan of Shergarh are keen to show all that Kanha has to offer, not just game drives through the park - though these are spectacular and tiger sightings are common, particularly with their excellent wildlife guide Raj at the helm. But there are many beautiful walks in the buffer zone outside the park itself and some wonderful villages which are easy to walk or cycle to.

Days Eight to Eleven. We recommend at least three nights at Kanha to give yourself a good chance of seeing your tiger. Shergarh is a lovely place at which to hang out, relaxed and friendly with good food and nicely set back from the road so you feel properly buried in the countryside.

  Days Eleven to Fifteen. A bumpy but beautiful drive over the Maikkal Hills through tribal villages and a lot of park buffer zone. Arrive at Sunny Upadhyay's Bhoromdeo Jungle Retreat in time for lunch before he whisks you off to see villages, visit the local temples, shop at tribal markets and, if you are feeling fit, trek through the jungle and overnight in a tribal home. You could spend two weeks here and still find plenty to see and do, Sunny is a wonderful and seemingly inexhaustible host - you may just have to plead for the odd afternoon off, to lounge on your veranda and watch the birds and the butterflies in his garden.

Day Fifteen. Drive three hours to Raipur for the flight back to Delhi and a last night or two with Martin and Annie and Tikli Bottom. They can arrange a car and driver to take you into Delhi for a day sightseeing, or shopping.

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Getting under the surface of gay Paree

You know you are in Paris when the waiter comes over to your table to tell you, ‘your coat is on ma floor’ and then flounces off without picking it up. Some might say Pariseans can be a bit haughty but I would say they are just proud and busy city folk, fiercely protecting their language and culture. And looking around, you can see that they have done a good job of resisting the large chains that have turned so many cities into dull brand-led shopping malls that all look the same.  The culture of thriving small businesses selling cheese, bread and charcuterie, etc, is no accident - the Pariseans have an active policy of keeping the large supermarkets out and long may it last.

Getting under the skin of the real Paris can be hard not least because even the touristy spots are pretty dam fine and appealing. But on this trip I wanted to explore an area a bit further out that sounded like a London version of Hoxton. Belleville and Menilmontant are old working class neighbourhoods, about 15 minutes by metro from the centre where Edith Piaf is reputed to have been born on the pavement in 1915!  Today the bobos ‘bourgeois  bohemians’ have moved in with their art, bars and live music to create a buzzy unpretentious vibe and it is very much the trendy place to be.

One of the anchors for the regeneration of the area is the Philippe Starck  designed hotel – Mama Shelter. The outside of this very ordinary looking modern hotel belies the inside world of funky artsy interiors which don’t take themselves too seriously.  The relaxing bar, brassiere and restaurant have a live music area and there is fantastic food for all budgets from thin crust pizza to full monty French gourmet. The Chef is Alain Sanderens – a leading French chef who is credited as one of the founders of nouvelle cuisine.

But the thing that I like most, about Mama Shelter, apart from the very reasonable room rates, is that they go out of their way to plug you in to what is going on in the neighborhood. They produce their own guide to cafes, open air markets, bookstores and live music venues – Mama knows best -  and every day they write up the best of what’s going down that day and night on a huge mirror on each floor of the hotel. So you really can get out into the neighbourhood and live like a local … well perhaps more like a very well informed visitor.

  If you are less inclined towards the gritty end of town and prefer the more picture postcard Paris with a village feel then Saint Germain des Prés is the neighborhood for you.  This central but self-contained neighbourhood is where the French prefer to stay when in Paris.  Stuffed with art galleries, fashion boutiques, home furnishing shops, famous cafés and restaurants, it is a place where I could easily plonk myself at any pavement café, relax and stare into the middle distance for quite some time.

Our favourite hotel in this area is The Recamier. A quiet location at the back of Place Saint-Sulpice and within walking distance of garden of Luxembourg for a morning jog or a romantic promenade. The Louvre and Orsay museums are two or three bus stops away. From some of the rooms you have quintessential Paris views over the square towards a dramatic church with the Eiffel tower peeping into view.  The hotel has recently reopened its doors after a substantial renovation. All 24 rooms are beautifully and luxuriously furnished. Sylvie, the owner, takes great pride in the quality of everything and provides top tips on the best places to eat and shop including Pierre Hermé: an exquisite and artistic patisserie in Paris. She warns of the queues to get in but says ‘it is worth it - you could make a hat out of the shopping bag - it is so stylish! ‘

And we couldn’t leave without a visit to our old friend - The Marais district – famous for it thriving gay, fashion and design scene. It is still very much the hub of all things creative not to mention the home of the Musee Picasso and the Pompidou centre. Don’t miss the famous gay bar – The Open Café – on the corner of Rue des Archives and Rue Sainte-Croix-de-la – Bretonnerie for the embodiment of all the great things about the Marais. Finding somewhere good and affordable to eat for a light bite can be tricky so try the cosy Apparemment café for great salads and bruschetta, and Sunday brunch where you tick the ingredients you want. For a serious blow out designer boutique hotel in the Marais then it has to the Christian Lacroix designed Hotel Petit du Moulin where each of the 17 rooms is fabulously individually designed within an inch of its life but with respect for the building, which was once home to one of France’s oldest boulangeries.

And because we know that Paris can be pricey here is a great link to things to see and do in Paris for free. Yee ha.

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Stop tweeting and talk to each other

You have seen them too I’m sure. Maybe you have even been one of them, I know I have. I am talking about couples in romantic settings, whether it is a candle lit dinner or a mood moment in a beautiful place taking a peek at their latest email or tweet.

Call me old fashioned but I do worry about the countries ‘love’ rating so much than its credit rating.  Uninterrupted, unplugged time together is where romance starts for me. You can forget the flowers, the chocs and presents. I just want ‘time’ together with all the devices switched OFF! Talking or not talking but without all that bleeping that follows us around most of the time.

So with the nation’s ‘lurve’ in mind, we have created a collection of smaller, romantic places to stay and unplug. Places to unwind, escape, dream and talk together, either for a special occasion or at anytime really because real ‘romance’ is not just for birthdays and Bank Holidays’.

Our ‘Just for two’ collection includes small catering houses like the suitably named 'Loveshack' in the Lake District below as well as B&B’s with lots of privacy.

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Do your Christmas shopping in style in Stockholm

Shopping is not one of my strengths. It is very easy for me to slip into 'trolley trance' but in the right place I can be as cheery and helpful as a Christmas elf. 

So with the Festive season looming, Further Afield is today unveiling new places to stay in Stockholm, Sweden, in time for Christmas and New Year shopping city breaks. Why go now: “The Girl with the Dragon” tattoo will hit the big screens this December and propel Stockholm into the limelight. Further Afield has just returned from the beautiful city of 14 islands, where the new SoFo district (Stockholm’s SoHo) is the hub of Swedish design and fashion - a funky area on the island of Södermalm where boutique design shops sit alongside quirky cafes and galleries. Winter is a great time to go - the water ices over around the city and it takes on a special romantic feel. Outdoor ice skating, stunning shop window displays, and traditional Swedish hot spiced wine (glögg) all add to the festive atmosphere. Christmas shopping tips: Markets: Open daily in the old town (Gamla Stan) and on Saturday and Sunday at Skansen Park. Buy handicrafts, reindeer pelts, ceramics and local sausages from the indigenous people of northern Sweden - the Sami. At the more luxury end there is the famous NK department store and lots of famous brands  including H&M Home Store, Design House Stockholm, Byredo parfums and Acme plus unique jewelry by Efva Attling, Sweden’s most famous Jeweller. Where to stay: The recently opened Hotel Skeppsholmen offers calm lodgings by the water that exude the best of contemporary Swedish design and comfort ‑ and all within easy walking of the city. The 81 rooms use a subtle Swedish colour palette and good design reaches into every corner.  The relaxed and light restaurant/cafe serves drinks, dinner and the classic Swedish "fika" (coffee, lemonade and a choice of buns, cakes and cookies). The food theme is classic Swedish but with a contemporary twist. The Deal: Love culture weekends: stay in a standard room, includes breakfast & free entrance to two local cultural museums from 1395 SEK (circa £135) per person per night.

Boutique Hotel Rival, just two blocks from the cool SoFo district, is owned by Benny Andersen, previously of ABBA, who has restored one of Stockholm’s most famous cinematic landmarks. Naturally a cinematic theme runs through all 101 of these classic, contemporary and comfortable rooms. The Deal: Save up to £110:.21 Dec-8 Jan (excl Dec 30 & 31) double rooms from 1,395 SEK (circa £140) per night including breakfast. They also have a great concierge who has his own blog on the 'must see things to do and see' in Stockholm.

Bang in the heart of Stockholm’s up-market shopping district, amid luxury-brand shopping, is the classic Hotel Stureplan, which opened in 2008. The room styles range from 18th-century Gustavian, with stripped floors and glittering chandeliers to more contemporary loft-style rooms. Clever design has created an intimate hotel feel, even though there are 101 rooms. The Deal: 3 nights for the price of 2 at the weekend until end of the year. A standard room for two people is 4785 SEK (circa £478).

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Stockholm revisited

The last time I visited Stockholm was with a group of badly behaved UK environmental journalists on a press trip. Naturally they were much more interested in the bars and pretty girls than anything I could say or do.  So while that trip was not exactly a career highlight for me, I have always harboured a longing to return to the beautiful Swedish city of 14 Islands without quite so much baggage.

As you sweep into Stockholm city from the airport on the speedy (20 minutes) and regular (at least every 15 minutes) Arlanda Express there are two things that hit you which recur across the whole of Stockholm. The first is the quality of the ‘design’ of everything right down to the carefully molded birch window trim on the train. No tacky plastic here and those comfortable train seats could grace any fancy restaurant. Then there is the built in effortless eco features across all aspects of life – this train runs totally on electricity from renewable sources.

But the big new thing since I last visited is the Sodermalm district which is the SoHo of Stockholm. Commonly known as SoFo, this bohemian area is stuffed with funky cafes, bars, galleries and boutique design shops. A great place to just hang out and watch the Swedish go about their business. Gamla Stan (The Old Town) is on its own nearby island connected by bridges. As you might imagine it is a tourist hot spot but don’t miss the picture postcard medieval cobbled streets, churches and squares.  Those cobbles can be hard on the heels so don’t forget to stop for the classic Swedish ‘fika’ - coffee, lemonade and a choice of buns, cakes and cookies.  

Getting around is easy. No where is far and we walked for the most part or used the underground but we wished we had hired bikes which are everywhere. But before you head out you might want to get your bearings by climbing the majestic 106m high City Hall to get 360 views across the city and its islands. The Golden Hall within the same building is worth a look – its camptastic glittering walls contain pieces of mosaic made from glass and 10kg of goldleaf.

  Good design is just part of how the Swedes live and we  particularly loved  how they express their design ethos - so  simply, clearly and beautifully.

Stockholm’s reputation as an open and cosmopolitan city is very real. Sweden legalised same-sex marriage in 2009 which can also take the form of a religious ceremony ordained by a priest.

Sean Naughton, The concierge at The Rival Hotel said: “Stockholm is generally a very gay friendly city. As such, there is no gay neighbourhood.  You can find gay and gay friendly restaurants, bars and clubs in just about every district of central Stockholm but most places are mixed and welcome everyone.

No one knows a city like a local so we asked Sean who has his own travel blog for visiting Stockholm to tell us his favourite restaurants, bars and clubs. Thankyou Sean! 

Restaurants & Bars  

Roxy (gay owned and operated, mixed crowd)- located in the SoFo neighbourhood, this cozy restaurant has multi-cultural cuisine leaning towards the Spanish kitchen. Great personable service! The neighbourhood itself is fun to visit to check the locals out… a little bohemian in character with plenty of cafés, bars and restaurants in the evenings. Lots of unique stores during the daytime. www.roxysofo.se 

Göken (gay owned and operated, mixed crowd)- quaint neighbourhood restaurant located on the island of Kungsholmen. Open for lunch, brunch and dinner… small bar where the locals hang out. www.goken.nu (new website coming soon).  

Torget (gay owned and operated, mainly gay crowd)- Located in Gamla Stan (Old Town), a great place for dinner or just drinks. Torget gets quite crowded in the evening, especially on the weekends, with people pre-partying before hitting the clubs. Clientele tends towards the younger and trendier… www.torgetbaren.com 

Mälarpaviljongen (gay owned and operated, mixed crowd)- Summer restaurant & bar! Located on the waterfront of the island of Kungsholmen, this floating bar and restaurant is immensely popular (especially on sunny days). Food is served café style, but people don’t come for the food… they come for the drinks, sunshine and atmosphere. The crowd gets “gayer” as the evening goes on with DJ’s and events. www.malarpaviljongen.se 

Sidetrack (gay owned and operated, mainly gay crowd)- Bar located in the Södermalm area, a bit of an older gay crowd. Great staff with DJ’s as well… and they do serve dinner. Can get quite crowded! www.sidetrack.nu/

Prinsen (straight owned and operated, mainly straight crowd)- a great place to go to try classic Swedish cuisine! This restaurant is located in the Stureplan district which is the upscale shopping district by day and nightlife district after the sun goes down. Good area to people watch. www.restaurangprinsen.se

Gondolen (straight owned and operated, mainly straight crowd)- Mainstay in the Stockholm culinary scene. The restaurant is very popular with tourists and is usually fully booked a couple of weeks in advance. Good food, but the popularity is mainly due to the views over Stockholm. If a table is not available then I recommend going to their bar to have a cocktail and enjoy the same views. www.eriks.se

Clubs (gay clubs are generally mixed with males and females, no purely lesbian clubs at the moment- though that can change!)

Zipper Stockholm (gay club)- Popular Saturday nightclub located in the Stureplan district. Two dancefloors, several bars! www.zippersthlm.com

Kolingsborg (gay club)- Club locale located at Slussen that hosts different gay clubs each week. Wednesdays it’s ”Sthlm Night Fever”, Fridays is “Paradise”  and on Saturdays it’s “Garage”. They often house lesbian clubs (though none right now). www.kolingsborg.se/Club.html

Patricia (gay club)- Sunday club that has been around for ages… 20+ years! Located on a boat that is moored on the waterfront of Södermalm near Slussen. The boat has a fabulous history… used to be Queen Victoria royal yacht. Good restaurant as well where everything is 50% off on Sundays. Several floors, bars and dancefloors. Great outdoor area in the summertime. www.patricia.st/dox/sondagsklubben.html

There are many clubs in Stockholm that can be called mixed… especially in the trendy Stureplan district. www.stureplansgruppen.se/?sid=18

Sean finally adds: “ you should remember that the gay nightlife scene is fickle… gay clubs come and go! All the bars and clubs in the above list have been around for a couple of years, but before visiting Stockholm you should check for updated information. A good place for that is the Stockholm Visitors’ Board’s Gay & Lesbian page http://stockholm-gay-lesbian-network.com/?epslanguage=EN

We are more likely to be found drinking chamomile tea of an evening rather than clubbing, but really our reason to be in Stockholm was to visit hotels for Further Afield.  Hotels in Stockholm tend to be on the larger side but we found some smaller boutique hotels and some larger ones where clever design and hands on owners have created a feeling of intimacy and personality.

If you would like to live and breathe the Swedish design aesthetic in an oasis of calm by the water but within easy walking of the city, then Hotel Skeppsholmen is the one. It celebrates the very best of contemporary Swedish design and food. If you are looking for somewhere bang in the heart of Stockholm’s up market shopping district then check out Hotel Stureplan - an intimate hotel with classic Swedish style and charm.  We stayed at Hotel Helsten where the owner, Per Helsten, has created a boutique hotel which reflects his travels from across the world and his passion for jazz. Thursday is jazz night and the bar comes alive with locals. 

Finally a big thankyou to Visit Stockholm gay and lesbian network Christina and Stina for all their help and support with our trip and for all the wonderful resources and guides that they provide for everyone travelling to Stockholm.  Also, thanks to Ola Erikson from the imagebank.sweden.com for photos 1 and 3 in this blog.

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Swede Dreams: Postcard from Stockholm

Stockholm: A city of islands, each with its own character.

The Old Town: Alfresco cafe life

Old Town charm

Great shopping in the creative funky Sofo district

Swedish ethos perfectly expressed.

The odd bit of bad taste amongst all that fantastic design sensibility!

Even the airport has a beautifully designed crash area for tired tourists! How civilised.

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Bag some late Summer sunshine now

I am just wondering if I have had enough sunshine this Summer to get through a British Winter without moaning. I like to think I am victum of Seasonal Affected Disorder (SAD) but more likely I am just plain old grumpy. But either way I am thinking it is probably best to bank some guaranteed late Summer sunshine in readiness for whatever Winter brings.

One of my favourite cities for some Autumn sunshine is Montpellier in the south of France.  Not just because it boasts 300 days of sunshine every year but also because it exudes a youthful dynamic vibe like no other French city I know. Maybe that is because the university brings the average age down to under 25 for half the population but unlike your average UK city you won’t see groups of lads and gals off their faces on drink binges on a Saturday night. Just lots of very civilized young people eating, drinking and socializing alfresco with their friends.

  Founded in the eighth century, Montpellier is a relative newcomer compared to its ancient neighbours – Nimes, Arles and Beziers.  Today it is one of France’s fastest growing metropolitan centres with bold new architecture which has been carefully added to its medieval bones.

The beach is also not far away (about 25 minutes drive and there are also buses). Choose from gay, nudist, speedo style and family.

Montpellier is also often referred to as France’s second gay city after Paris.  Our Montpellier insider, Pierre Migayrou, who owns Montpellier’s best gay and straight friendly guest house has shared his top tips with us of things to see and do.

  Places to eat and drink in Montpellier recommended by Pierre:

-       Le Petit Jardin. This is his favourite. Both a restaurant and wine bar with a beautiful garden and great food. - Chez Boris. This restaurant come wine bar has the atmosphere of a  little tavern. - Playfood.  Just a bar but very new and original. - The counter of the Arc.  A very relaxed and reasonably priced Brasserie in a very beautiful part of Montpellier. - Pastis. Very elegant cuisine. - Reserve Rimbaud. Simply excellent restaurant but you will need a car because it is on the banks of the Lez. Etoilé.

Other places to eat in Montpellier

-       Lunch on the run: Pain et Cie at 4 Jean Jarais.

-       A splurge meal: Maison de la Lozerre. Grand old establishment resturant.

-       Affordable relaxed try Mesdames et Messiers. 

  Things to do and see in Montpellier

-       The food market at Les Halles in the Place Castellene.

-       Rue St- Guillem with its kitchen shops, chocolatier, cheese shop and local wine store.

-       Musee Fabre: European paintings from  17th century to the present day.

-       A walk through the Botantical garden – the oldest of its kind in France.

-       Hire one of 1200 bikes available from  Velomagg and explore one of Montpellier’s many cycling trails.

-       Christmas shopping !  The Chrsitmas Market is held throughout December on the Place de la Comedie.

-       The new Aquarium. For big kids too and includes a simulated storm at sea.

-       The largest tropical greenhouse in France containing birds, animals and insects and plants from the Amazon basin.

Most people stay in Montpellier for two or three night but why not stay longer, hire a car and tour the Languedoc area.  Further Afield has several stunning places nearby so you can do both town and country in one hit.

- 15 Grande Rue: Informal elegant luxury guest house: 45 minutes from Montpellier.

- Le Grand Hermitage: Luxury villas for two with pool: 30 mins from Montpellier.

- Clos Du Mussanne: Boutique guest house with pool and great food: 30 mins from Montpellier - photo below.

  If you would like someone to join up the dots across the Languedoc, meet you at the airport in a classic jaguar with a bottle of bubbly in the back and take you on a tour of your own making, then we can recommend Barbara and Rocky who provide bespoke tours through their holiday company - La Pause Parfaite. They will work with you to create whatever your heart desires whether it is great wine and food, sailing or just relaxing on the beach.  Perfect for a special occasion for the time poor and very very romantic. They are also the owners of the beautiful and luxurious Le Grand Hermitage Villas.

Getting to Montpellier from the UK: Easy jet fly from Leeds and Birmingham and Ryan Air fly from Luton and Gatwick.

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Whale alert! Further Afield goes surfing in St Ives, Cornwall

Squeezing into my wetsuit I plead that this must be the small size. I don’t hear any reassuring noises from Andrew and continue to wrestle my way in.  

This was my second surf experience. The first was with some lesbian friends in Devon who were much too good for novices. They were however very kind, inspiring and encouraging, and didn’t kick sand in my face. And although most of my time was spent under the waves it was enough of a thrill to fuel plans for a second attempt.

St Ives is a mecca for UK surfers and to the untrained eye they all looked highly competent next to us as we floundered around. We spent a lot of time getting out to the waves, only to get ducked time and time again but when it worked it was truly exhilarating. When I say ‘worked’ I don’t mean the ‘stand up’ kind of surfing. I mean the ‘belly board’ kind of surfing.  Even the best start on their bellies but next time I reckon we need to invest in a surf school session and get some top tips and moves! Or ‘shapes’ to use young surf dude language.

All that thrashing around in the waves is enough of an excuse to think about food. It is true - I am partial to a pasty - but I don’t mind if I don’t see one for a while. I know they are a Cornwall staple but enough! For the more discerning foodie, St Ive’s has some great choices.  We dined with Graham and his partner, John, who owns luxury guest house 11 St Ives at Saltwater  tucked behind the main town.  Stunning locally sourced fish and meat - easy to see why Grahame recommends this place to all his guests.

If you prefer to be by the sea then The Porthgwidden Beach café is set above it own small cove. We watched with detached amusement as a spat broke out over the table next to the window but really you could see the sea from all the seats.  

For me the most memorable thing about St Ives are the beaches which just get better the further you walk. Porthminster beach is a hop, skip and jump from the main beach and the town.  If you fancy a romantic beach side lunch or dinner meal then the Porthminster Beach café is the one. You can also stay minutes from this beach at the lovely eco chic Primrose Valley Hotel owned by friendly and welcoming, Andrew Biss. If you are more adventurous then the walk to the dunes in Lelant is a breathtaking coastal walk taking 2 hours. Take a picnic because there is nothing but you and a huge unpopulated beach when you get there. More hidden secret beaches can be found in this great Guardian article.

Finally don’t forget the other apres surf activities. St Ives has been the place that artists have headed to for the ‘light’ since sculpture Barbara Hepworth made her home there in 1949. Today you can’t move without tripping over an artist, and of course the Tate St Ives is their shrine. See latest their balloon installation ... find your inner child.

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What makes a hotel gay friendly?

When I first met my partner, Andrew, I entered the world of romantic mini-breaks. Like Bridget Jones, I knew that they happened in the countryside and featured log burning fires, long walks and romantic meals in quaint pubs.

This is all many moons ago. Our relationship survived its foray into the British countryside and we have deleted the memory of the shuffling and uncomfortable owner of the bijou hotel in the Lake District whose discomfort with us was never communicated but clear for us to feel. We prefer to remember the wonderful hotels, owned and run, by warm, friendly and caring people with nothing but complete respect for us and our relationship: The romantic Chateau in France where we shared five courses of exquisite food and bountiful wine with the owners or the funky urban chic country house in Devon whose youthful owners were very proud of their gay guests and not in a pink pound kind of way.

We are often asked what ‘makes a hotel gay friendly’. For me the main clue is in the word ‘friendly’. I don’t need a constant corporate smile and I don’t need my towels tying into flamingos. I do however expect to be treated with the same respect as other guests and their partners, and want to be made to feel relaxed and comfortable from the get go.

There is training out there to help hotels and their staff put gay travellers at their ease, avoid the wrong language and daft questions, and while that may help, it is really the ethos and values of the people who run and manage the hotel which are crucial. For me it is about whether they are genuinely gay welcoming or are they just ‘box ticking’, and are they mindful of the fact that three out of four gay travellers are worried about the reception they will receive at their holiday accommodation (Out Now Consulting 2009).

At Further Afield we aim to meet the owners to find out what makes them tick as well as checking out the hotel for quality and personality. Many of our places to stay are gay owned but not all, and what unites them is an insightful approach and genuine welcome for all gay travellers.

But always, whenever we go to view a new hotel and meet the owners I have in the back of my mind, Andrew and myself arriving at a hotel in the Lake District after knowing each other for just a short time….younger, shyer and slightly less sure than we are today, and I want to understand how will they be greeted and treated.

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48 Hours in kooke Whitstable

If you can picture a nautical fancy dress themed wedding in a chip shop on a beach then you will get some idea about the quirkiness of Whitstable on the Kent coast where we spent last weekend at a wedding.

Not many British coastal towns get the right balance between ‘Cor Blimey’ seaside fun and middle class deli 'chi chi' but Whitstable does. Maybe it is the juxtaposition of classic fish & chips with oysters. People of all kinds come from miles around to Wheeler’s classic and simple oyster parlour. The décor probably hasn’t changed much in the last 30 years and is all the better for it, and why bother when your food is just amazing and you booked up to six weeks ahead at weekends (Tel: [phone]). Needless to say we were not organised enough to book ahead but you can get great takeaway snacks and oysters of course, and eat them on the beach with a beer.

Great food and independent eateries are everywhere.  The guys in the cheese box shop are so helpful and really want you to come in and sample their wares.  Great sausages and much more for the barbie from GH Theobald Butchers on the High Street. If you are looking for a more romantic dinner venue then Samphire serves very good modern British food like suckling pig and cured Kentish beef.

  Creativity is in abundance Whitstable. There is possibly slightly too much cliché seascape inspired art but the Caxton Contemporary was worth a visit. I was wondering why Whitstable has such a thriving arty gay community community and then I remembered that much of the film version of Sarah’s Walters book ‘Tipping the Velvet’ was screened there.      

We stayed at 98 Island Wall owned by photographer Christina Wilson. A beautiful romantic clapper boarded self catering house a few streets back from the beach.  A perfect bolt-hole for two or two couples sharing. Perfect for Summer or Winter. And opposite is the wonderful Windy Corner café … great breakfasts and lunch. Slightly erratic service but somehow it all blends beautifully with the chilled vibe that is Whitstable.

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I left my straight brother in San Francisco

Work and family have brought me to San Francisco for over ten years. It must surely be a mistake that my straight brother lives in gay central with his son while I live on a small holding on the English/Welsh border. But it only goes to show that the only thing queerer than folk is families.

San Francisco has a place in the heart of most gay people. Even if you haven’t been you have most likely read about it or have some strong images of it in your head - the trolley cars, beefy blokes on the Castro, the Golden Gate bridge, etc.

Filled with imagery from Armistead Maupin’s Tales in the City, I was prepared to love San Francisco from the very first but it took some while for it to get under my skin to the point where I really do love this city. It is a very manageable city of villages, which run into each other. You can walk everywhere and yes there are quite a few hills but that just adds to sense of discovery and sublime views. Every year my bro and me take to the streets to amble for miles to eat and drink ourselves daft and update our list of grumpy old men things to banish when we get into power. It being San Francisco, this year we banned utility kilts (very popular now in San Francisco), excessive interest in crystals and our Mum who was also in San Francisco and threatened to join us.

San Francisco is still considered by many as the seat of enlightened and progressive US thinking on many issues including gay and lesbian politics. More than anywhere I know, I feel a real sense of a strong community of gay and straight folk working and living together. Sometimes it feels feel like getting a glimpse of the future - a world where gay and lesbian families are an established and welcome part of the fabric of everyday life and work. The gaybourhood around the Castro is a still a geographic focus for the gay community but unlike other cities, gay folk live and love across the whole city without anyone batting an eyelid.

Like many things, Americans generally like their hotels big and I have struggled to find some where good to stay on the smaller side that has been dusted since the Summer of Love. I can honestly say that I have scoured the streets but I can find none better than Bill and Bob’s 22 room Parker guest house near to the Castro. I did however find this small funky hipster hotel in the downtown area which we hope will join Further Afield.

I can’t finish this blog without mentioning Armistead Maupin’s latest book in the Tales of the City series – Mary Anne’s Autumn. Loved it but I was left at the end with a huge feeling of loss. I am just not ready for Micheal and Mary Anne to be old people … I want then to live forever young in my imagination.

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Spanish late nights breathe new life into old person

I think it is probably illegal to go to bed before 10.30pm with a Chanomile tea in Spain. Something about an early night is just wrong in the the land of flamenco and bull fights. Anyway, a little bit of sun and some Gypsy King Music and I think I am in my early 20's again... flinging caution to the wind and staying up all hours and quaffing too much red wine.

So at the end of our whirlwind tour of Andalucia - Malaga, Marbella, Rhonda, Seville, Cordoba and Granada, I am 'done in' but very much alive. I am generalising of course but it seems to me that the Spanish live hard and fast with lots of noise and colour and coming back to the UK in early March feels like someone turned down the sound and colour.

Highlights for me: The Alhambra in Granada - the scale of it and it's awesome beauty, free tapas at every bar in Granada soaks up the plentiful red wine nicely, the sedateness of Cordoba after the raunchiness of Seville, Jean Francois and Luc's place up in the hills behind Malaga and Desi's place in the Old Town of Marbella.

Some lessons learnt: Eat just two of those hard green olives that appear with every meal and not two bags if you want to avoid being sick on the hard shoulder of the motorway, and if you can, ditch the car - driving into Spanish cities can wreck your car, your relationship and any holiday tranquility. That said we survived the whole trip until I crashed into a post when parking in the Airport drop off car park! 

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Ummm... not sure whether to laugh, cry or despair... or maybe all three.  How does it make you feel?

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Stop tweeting and 'check in' at a love nest

The Loveshack in the Lake District: Romantic bolt-hole

You have seen them too I’m sure. Maybe you have even been one of them - I know I have. I am talking about couples in romantic settings whether it is a candle lit dinner or a mood moment in a beautiful place taking a peak at their latest email message or tweet.

Call me old fashioned but I do worry about the countries ‘love’ rating so much than its credit rating.  Uninterrupted unplugged time together is where romance starts for me. You can forget all the flowers, the chocs and gestures. I just want ‘time’ together with all the devices switched OFF!  Talking or not talking but without all that bleeping that follows us around most of the time.

So with the nation’s ‘lurve’ in mind I have selected some romantic places to stay and unplug with some great deals.  Places to unwind, escape, dream and talk together.  Either for Valentines or even better at anytime because ‘romance is not just for Valentines, birthdays and Bank Holidays’.

 Black Rock House, Hastings: This seaside town is enjoying a true renaissance and that goes with the quality of places to stay.  Tracey-Anne and Lesley’s contemporary guest house leads the way. Check out their 20% off before of March deal.

 Inspira Santa Marta,  Lisbon Portugal; Race to meet the sun with a Spring visit to Lisbon at this beautiful nature inspired hotel. Check Out their 3 for 2 deal before end March.

 The OId Post Office Cotswolds: For those that enjoy the quintessential country break amidst glorious countryside, quaint villages and old style luxury this is a real gem of a place to stay. 

15 Grand Rue, Languedoc France:  Abi’s restrained French style has created a decadent place to stay in the heart of the medieval town of Caux. Book before March and save 15%.

 Kincaple Stables, St Andrew’s: If it’s a bracing walk across an empty beach you favour these recently renovated stables are an ideal base just outside the historic Scottish town of St Andrew’s.

The Love Shack, Cumbria: Minimalist eco design in a stunning location proves to be a great combination time and time again for this love nest in the trees.

Villa Mazamet, SW France:  An old merchant’s house which has been rescued and restored by Mark and Peter to create luxury on a budget. Check Out their Valentines and Winter Warmer offers.

Whitehouse, Devon: Clerkenwell by the sea, a funky cosmopolitan hideout run by friends Tamara, Ally and Matt.  They have a great 2 night deal with dinner included. Snuggle by the fireside and feast on seasonal food.

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B&B owners in the dock again

Today was another leap forward and a cause for celebration for gay equality with a declaration of unlawful behavior in favour of a gay couple who were refused a double room at a B&B in Cornwall. But before we had time to pop the champagne cork the ‘religious freedom card’ is being wheeled out and the debate starts to get heated.

 I have read a lot of bile and baloney in amongst all the excellent commentary. But I think the whole issue boils down to two important points:

The first is a legal one. If you choose to open up your home as a hotel or a B&B then it becomes a commercial enterprise which means that community standards and laws apply. So in law there is no basis for turning someone away for being gay irrespective of your own views. To do so is every bit as bad and illegal as turning someone away for being black or Irish as happened in the 1950’s.

The second is more moral and humane, which I hope reflects a changing world of different social attitudes in which gay and lesbian people are not just tolerated but embraced and accepted. The judge in the case talked about a change in social attitudes which ‘cuts across’ some people’s beliefs.

Clearly some B&B owners are lagging behind that change in social attitudes. 13% of owners at B&Bowners.co.uk report that same sex couples may not share a bed at their B&B – that’s 13% who don’t care or know about the law. This rump of opposition will eventually fall away but until then it is right that they should be exposed.

But in the meantime I would like to see this story turned on its head. I think we need to get some of the amazing ‘leadership’ stories out of the closest. I know many straight owned guest houses who genuinely welcome their gay guests, and I know many straight people who love staying at gay owned guest houses. It is time to shine a light on these stories and relationships to show the 13% that they are in the minority and on the wrong side of history.

So please help me to urge mainstream travel editors to do something about it because I am feeling like a lone voice.

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The Sea, the Sea

Sometimes nothing but the sea will do it for me.  A quick blast can put everything back in perspective and help delete the built up of itty bitty crap that can dog the day. My current favourite is Pembrokeshire....all the beauty of the Cornish Coast without the hoards.  We walked from White Park Bay to Porthgain along the coast and reached the Sloop Inn in time for a fat boy's late breakfast. Perfect day.

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Coming Up For Air

It is some time since I lived and worked in London but I remember only too well the intense need to escape the city at regular intervals. Like many ‘time poor’ Londoners I bolted for the South Coast and it really felt like I was coming up for air.

For sometime now Further Afield users have been urging us to get more places to stay on the South Coast and this week we cherry picked some places to check out.

Some would say that starting a tour in Margate is brave. In terms of regeneration it is still very much work in progress but the opening of the Turner Contemporary in June 2011 should accelerate all that. Meanwhile, if you are prepared to get beneath the surface there are some great things to do and places to eat. Beautiful and undiscovered Botany Bay or maybe try out the surf at Joss Bay. The Indian Princess is one of handful of Indian restaurants in the Michelin Guide and no visit is complete without a visit to Eddie Gilberts Fish and chip Restaurant. If you are looking for more insider info and a fabulous place to stay then The Reading Rooms are the ticket. The Guardian’s queen of guest houses, Sally Shalam , says that it is possibly one of the best B&B's that she has stayed in and she has seen a few.

Next stop Hastings. Despite the recent burning down of the pier there is much talk of its renaissance with a focus on the new Jerwood Gallery opening in 2011. For me it is very much a town of two half’s with its fun fair and pier and then the more refined old town with its amazing architecture and chi chi vintage shops and cafes. I am quite happy with this split as I can indulge both aspects of my dual heritage – one side of the family owned a fish and chip shop and the other side were much more A la Carte.  We recommend staying either with the delightful Tracey-Anne and Lesley at their sumptuous boutique guest house – Black Rock House or with Lionel and Brendan at the very unique and stunning Swan House.

Now if I were to live anywhere along the South Coast it would have to be Whitstable. I love its kooky slightly wayward feel and its shoulder dropping chilled out vibe. Pottering along the wonderful beach followed by an amble around round the town with its great cafes and boutique shops is a great way to spend a weekend. If you are looking for somewhere to stay near the sea then 98 Island Wall is a romantic self catering bolt-hole with lots of cosy features including log burning stove - perfect for a hunkering down seaside escape.

No visit to the South Coast is complete without a trip to see your old best gay friend – Brighton.  Still cheeky after all these years with all the fun of fair yet refined and elegant too with all that beautiful Regency architecture. More boutique hotels then you can shake a stick at these days but the out and out leader for us is the classic, serene and calm Kemptown Guest House owned by Claas and Russell.