First World Problems

It isn't easy being a privileged citizen of a developed nation. This blog is a catalog of the unending ways it's lonely at the top. Contact the honkies in charge at [email protected] and tell us how you've suffered.

[fwps]

I have to get dressed so that I don't look too lazy when I go out to pay the gardener.

(submitted by lifetheuniverseandeverythinginit)

[fwps]

I cant find the right balance between my fan and my electric blanket.

(submitted by connormackenzie)

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I went to go babysit for an hour and the kids didn't know what their own wi-fi password was.

(submitted by princess-absahail)

[fwps]

I type so fast that my expensive fake nails keep hitting the wrong keys.

(submitted by krissy-a-s)

[fwps]

The only power socket near my massage chair is "Plasma Display Only".

(submitted by chrmzn)

[fwps]

I want to enjoy my beer in the garden but the wifi doesn’t work out there.

(submitted by loveiseveryone)

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I get embarrassed while I watch the maid wash my dirty lacy underwear that require to be handwashed.

(submitted by Gece)

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Another Asian person set next to me on the bus. Now people probably think he's my dad.

(submitted by iamrebelspy)

[fwps]

I can’t fit a cocktail table in my family room because it blocks the foot rest on my reclining sofa.

(submitted by AEF)

[fwps]

It pisses me off when good-looking athletes lose. It adds a somewhat depressing dimension to masturbating to them.

[fwps]

All that trouble memorizing Seinfeld quotes, for naught!

[fwps]

The division of labor between my 'wearing to the club' t-shirts and my 'cleaning house/working out' t-shirts is becoming muddled.

[fwps]

I'm overscheduled for Comicon.

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I quit segregating the white from the colored laundry as a protest against linguistic ethnocentrism, but now my nice white shirts are all dingy.

(submitted by Nate)

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I want to start smoking to complete the “Disenfranchised Poet” look that I have been cultivating with my wardrobe. But I hate the smell of smoke, and the e-cigarettes require a USB port to charge and I have none available on my PC.

(submitted by wurldkup)

[fwps]

Every time I download a language learning app in order to be able to order food 'authentically' at my favorite ethnic restaurants, the waiter asks me to confirm my order in English.

(submitted by archael2)

[fwps]

I'm starting to feel the same way about people who drink Gatorade even though they aren't athletic that athletic people who drink water instead of Gatorade feel about me.