* DEAD MANS BELLS!

hey, will you hit me wherе it hurts? i won't feel anything otherwise.

[fxglove]

fxglove. independent & selective roleplay blog for orla valentine, an original ex-magical girl character based on original lore. low activity. written by zoe, she/they, 25, so very tired. mutuals & 18+ only. triggering & nsfw themes will be present.

rules. about. pinboard.

other blogs: @deatheless, @thanergie, @blkcherries

[fxglove]

thinking about her the last few days....

[fxglove]

  the alley shimmers under a sickly orange sunset glow and the bricks of adjacent buildings bend at the edges of their perception. shadows stretch like smoke and curl into hissing, taunting shapes all around them, and the faint smell of rain mixes with something sharper. every surface hums with a quiet tension, and the air feels thick, almost liquid, pressing against her skin. rose’s gaze flicks to the edges of the twisting shadows and almost instinctively, she takes a step so she's back to back with orla.      ' you're right, ' she replies coolly, her voice steady against the tension. the pulse of the city below their feet is slow and deliberate as though the streets themselves are holding their breath in anticipation. ' we need to run or we need to fight-- your choice. ' @rosaedolor from here

your choice. like any of this has ever been her choice. orla doesn't know if she's ever had a real choice in anything since she was fourteen. even this : she'd never wanted to come back. it was all supposed to be over. but here they are, out again, shadows twisting dangerously in their peripherals as the air stings their cheek. they cast a glance towards rose when she moves, and watch as the dying sunlight droops across her expression, dimmer than it was only a minute ago. her stomach twists.

there's only one real thing to do, though — again, it's not really a choice, is it? their fingers curl into fists at their sides, the burn of their ring against their skin almost achingly familiar. ❛ well, ❜ she starts, rolling her shoulder, ❛ we can't just leave it. someone's gotta do something. ❜

[fxglove]

@heldgirl sent: you really think i could make it? / accepting.

if it was anyone else, she'd think they were joking. maybe even fishing for compliments, if she really wanted to be cynical about it. but it's sunny, which means not only does she entirely mean it, there's an almost unbelievable amount of genuine wonder in the question. it's a near - miracle that they don't reach over to grab her cheeks and shake her until she believes it.

❛ are you fuckin' kidding me? of course i do. ❜ they don't grab her cheeks, but they do reach for her arm, fingers ghosting down the length of her forearm before they settle loosely by her hand. she taps the side of her palm, thumb brushing lightly across sunny's knuckles. all the while, her eyes never leave hers. ❛ these things are like magic, dude. ❜ and she would know. ❛ i've seen the stuff you've made. seriously, even the really simple stuff looks incredible. i have, like, the most faith in you. ❜

though their point is made, they don't drop her hand. they don't look away, either, even though she's shining so brightly it almost hurts to look. instead, orla smiles, small and encouraging, and for a moment, the air seems to still. if she wanted, she could ...

but she doesn't. instead, the air wooshes back into movement, like a rush in her ears, and the moment breaks. her relief is almost as palpable as her regret. their smile grows wider, more teasing, despite the sudden tightness in their chest, and they squeeze sunny's hand once before they drop it, reaching up instead to flick at a strand of dark hair curling by her ear. ❛ now press publish on the new posts before i do it for you. people are gonna love it, i promise. ❜

[fxglove]

i abandon this blog for 3 months i come back i reblog butch arms and i leave

[sweetieboydyke]

you requested more butch arms?

[bnjmin]

"you're welcome," he says - the asshole response in this day and age, isn't it? "i'm like, full of wisdom." also full of a little too much tequila, and so kind of tipsy. sue him - he does, in fact, cave to peer pressure. at least it makes him a touch more pleasant to talk to.

"uh huh." his brain takes a moment to process the words and spit out an actual response. which is, "the music sucks, yeah. congrats." his eyes fixate for a beat on the filter between their fingertips before they flicker back upwards to her. "can i have one?"

[fxglove]

❛ oh, yeah, you're just just bursting with it. ❜ to her own surprise, she finds she's not really all that annoyed, or at least not as much as she'd expected to be. maybe it's because ben seems just as enthused as she is — which is to say, not all that much. it's as refreshing as it is kind of irritating.

they're expecting the question before it comes, hand already digging in their pocket ( because they may be in a shit mood, but they're not a total asshole ), but that doesn't stop them from rolling their eyes when he finally says it anyway. ❛ yeah, sure, ❜ orla says, producing their pack and holding it out in ben's direction. as they do, almost as if on cue, the music in the background fades into a new song ( and into some high - pitched and far too clearly autotuned oohs ), and they can hardly hold back their groan. ❛ okay, seriously, whoever picked out this playlist needs to be, like, jailed. ❜

[ryebreadgf]

How do you process grief?

by running from it until it finds me in the middle of a sunny street on a beautiful day

[fxglove]

been thinking so much about how like carefree and silly teenage orla used to be ..... like the superhero trope of the hero who jokes at/makes fun of the villain as theyre fighting them was very much something she'd do during battles and as hard as it was she also had a lot of fun and she would try to be goofy to lighten the mood and make it less scary for any civilians nearby :( and while it was a little Enhanced as part of the foxglove persona it all came from a very genuine place and while she still has a lot of that energy but so much of it is subdued or like kind of forced like shes trying to be the way she used to it before everything fell apart

[fxglove]

@curseplay sent: i recently got into foraging. well, the idea of it. i haven't actually done it yet. / accepting.

sometimes orla thinks that, despite how much time they've been spending together, paris is always going to be full of surprises. case in point : this, because ... what the hell? if nettle hadn't looked up at them from his spot on the couch in between them, a reflection of their same confusion in his eyes, they may have almost thought they imagined it. because, seriously — huh?

❛ dude, what? ❜ she shifts against the cushions to face paris better, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. underneath nettle's indignant mewl at suddenly being squashed between their two laps from the movement, the chef on the tv continues her explanation about the various hand - picked plants in her dish ( the reason for paris' declaration in the first place ), but despite orla's earlier interest, it couldn't be further from her mind now. at paris' own confused look — as though what she said made perfect sense and wasn't the weirdest thing orla's heard all day — she shakes her head, a small laugh colouring her disbelief.

❛ what the hell are you talking about? you would, like, die. ❜ and before they can get offended, which she knows they will, she gives them a look, eyebrows raised as she reaches out to swat at their bicep with a snort. ❛ you got sick last week off those storebought strawberries 'cause we let them sit for like, a day too long and you wanna try to eat shit you just find outside? there's no way you wouldn't immediately get fuckin' got by some sort of poison berry tryin' to trick you into thinking it's a blackberry. and i kinda like having you around, so ... feel like this probably isn't a great idea. ❜

[aaashelley]

to whom it may concern: that sword of damocles hangs

[fxglove]

@psych1cwound sent: straight up, there is bad juju afoot. / accepting.

❛ dude, i hate when you say that. ❜ and they hate even more that she's right.

while she wouldn't have necessarily voiced it like that ( even if, at the back of her mind, she remembers the orla that would have, and wonders where she went ), there's something ... really off about the energy in the park right now. now that ursula's pointed it out, it's nearly impossible to ignore. it's almost too quiet, like someone's turned the volume down a few notches. despite there still being people milling out, there's a terrible stillness in the air, something grey and heavy that she could've sworn wasn't there just a few minutes ago. they can hardly hold back their groan. damn it.

instinctively, their hands drift together, a grimace flicking across their face as they rub the pad of their index against the cool metal of the ring on their finger. as they spin it once, twice, against their skin, they glance up at ursula with a tight smile. ❛ we're gonna stay here until whatever it is that's about to happen happens, huh? ❜

if they're lucky, it'll happen soon. if they're unlucky, it'll happen even sooner.

[yardsards]

but i stay silly! *←said in the most world-weary voice you ever did hear*

[fxglove]

@viernas sent: it's not your job to ask questions. it's your job to do what you're told. / accepting.

she is so tired of this. at the sound of their — commander's ( as loathe as they are to call them that in the first place ) rebuke, their jaw shifts sharply, gritting their teeth with such a violence it nearly surprises them when they don't hear a crack. how has she become this? how did she get here? not for the first time, she curses whatever hand of fate that spared her life that night, as she'd laid there bloodied and surrounded by the bodies of both her target and her team. it had felt like a cruel blessing then, to still live. now they know there is no blessing to it at all. to succeed, yes, but to lose it all in the process, and now — to be doomed to this : foxglove, reduced to taking orders. she'd rather be dead.

( the worst part is knowing they're right. she knows the role she has been placed in, and she knows the expectations. she should have bitten her tongue, no matter her feelings on the matter. had she been in their position, her retort would have been much the same. but knowing she is right and wanting to listen to her are two very different things. there's a childish stubbornness to it that they don't particularly want to drop just yet. orla is simply showing the same respect she's been given, after all. )

❛ maybe if i was told to do something of value, i'd have no reason to question it. i'm not here to be cast aside. ❜ voice is steely, their jaw still drawn tight, before it splits into something very much like a smile, or perhaps an animal bearing their teeth. ❛ but i apologize. my mistake. if you'll excuse me, i'll get to it now. wouldn't want to continue to get in your way. ❜ and she turns on her heel before they get a chance to reply, hand resting by her sword as she stalks away.

she'll pay for that later, she's sure, but for now, it feels good.

[fxglove]

@heldgirl sent: [ TOUCH ]: while touching the receiver’s waist, the sender’s hand briefly dips beneath the hem of their shirt, skimming briefly across the bare skin of their waist. / accepting.

hold on, i want to try something, sunny had said, eyes suddenly lit up in delight the way they always did whenever she had some sort of idea pop into her head. orla must have made some kind of face, even if they didn't mean to, because she'd held her hands up in front of her excitedly, fingers wiggling in a frankly kind of ominous way, that bright smile nearly shining. nothing bad! just trust me!

and orla, forever the idiot, had said yes. not that whatever sunny's plan is is bad — in fact, even though she's not sure what it is just yet, she's sure it's something great, because she's never met anyone more fashionable than her, and she's always able to somehow elevate even the best of outfits even further. no, she's the idiot because somehow, this has ended up with sunny's hands dancing across her back, along the waistband of her jeans, as she hums in thought, and orla thinks she might just fucking explode. before she can say anything, question anything, before she can even breathe, sunny's fingers close around the fabric, tugging it loose from where they'd tucked it in haphazardly that morning, and then — and then her fucking hand ( holy shit ) slips under their shirt ( holy shit! ), the tips of her fingers brushing hot against the skin of orla's right side.

it's an accident, she realizes too quickly, when sunny gasps and she can feel the twisting of fabric by her shoulder from her nearly yanking her hand away. before orla can stop herself ( before sunny can get too far ), her mouth drops open, voice lower than she intends it to be : ❛ you're okay, don't worry about it. keep, uh, doing whatever you wanted to do. ❜

there's a pause, and orla almost wonders if she's said something wrong somehow, before sunny's hands relax against her shirt again. her humming restarts as she starts pulling the rest of it out, tugging at the fabric and shaking it out so it drapes just so, she assumes. orla can't help but notice how much more careful her movements are this time around. how much she seems to be watching exactly where her hands are going as she untucks the left side.

( she finds herself wishing she wasn't. )

eventually she pulls away, apparently pleased with her work. ❛ there, ❜ sunny says, finally, an airiness to her voice that orla swears wasn't there before, ❛ i thought it'd look better untucked. ❜ there's no mirror, no real way for them to see if she was right or not, but they're nodding already, even before they realize she's holding her phone camera out for them to see their reflection in. oh, huh. somehow this had looked bad when she'd gotten dressed this morning, having considered the option, but now it looks fine. really good, actually. even if they have to pretend the little orla on the screen's cheeks aren't painfully pink. ❛ yeah, you're right. ❜ must be her touch making it right. it usually is.

[fxglove]

did some writing here but im being responsible and saving it to post sometime tomorrow and at not 4am everyone clap

[deatheless]

hello everyone :) sorry ive been so gone its been a Week much moreso than i was expecting lol but i am heading home tomorrow and am intending to slowly be on here more often in the next few days <3 hope u had/are having happy holidays and are all doing well! miss u all!!