1738.

D y l a n ✌ | but you can call me t o n i g h t. #superman. probably gonna be your boyfriend. It's not unusual for me to come to your house and eat everything in your fridge. Talking to me may become difficult if you're easily offended. I can bounce a basketball off of your face six times before you touch me once, and I'll still be the guy to give you the shirt off my back if you don't have one.

[brieisms-blog1]

♥ 63 like this.

↳ INSTAGRAM: @damnbrie​ uploaded a photo.actual conversation behind these photos:

Really did a number on @fxkindylan. Whoops. Maybe next time, you won’t make me wait so long.

View all 23 comments stfuellen so are y’all dating yet or what? damnbrie @stfuellen honestly, do u think that it’s gonna magically become a thing the more u ask me? bc srsly stop stfuellen basically yeah. don’t post shit like this on ig all the time & not expect me to ask. love ya!  damnbrie eat me

[fxkindylan-blog]

keanemccarthy:

Hells yeah, man. I love hearing there are other cat dads out there in the world.

Thanks, dude. I’m glad some people dig it. What’s your cat’s name?

I know. We should start a club. 

He’s called Lafayette. If you know what that name is from then bless you. He’s sort of a dick, but he’s cuddly and we watch videos together. Sometimes, I’ll set a can of food on the table and he’ll stand on a chair to eat it, and I’ll sit on the other end with a pizza. It’s a bonding moment. I’ve been trying to teach him not to judge so much, but he continues to look at everyone like they’ve done something to offend him. He loves the smell of bacon and he really likes storms. He’ll sit in the window and watch the rain fall. Or maybe he’s watching a bird or something, I don’t really know. There’s only a handful of people that he’ll sit next to, and if you’re not one of them, he just sort of glares at you from a chair all the way across the room. I feel like I said so much for such a simple question, but that guy is my son. He’s my Lil Dyl. I mean, I don’t call him that, but. Anyway; what’s your cat like? 

[fxkindylan-blog]

TEXT | DYL & X

X: You can never eat too much macaroni, dude. I'll work it out of you, though.

X: Back and biceps, we're hitting that shit.

DYL: I had an entire box of shells and cheese to myself. I would have shared it but I didn't want to.

DYL: I'm stoked. I got new workout shoes and everything.

[fxkindylan-blog]

spencehummel:

Imma catch more than those hands if you underestimate me.

I’m not underestimating you. I never said it wouldn’t be a fair fight. 

[fxkindylan-blog]

starryastrid:

Okay but who actually shot first? The original movie tells me Han shot first, the special edition tells me Greedo shot first. George Lucas isn’t loyal to me. I’m so mad about it. I need to know the truth but how am I supposed to find the truth if I’m being fed all these lies.

Are you talking about Star Wars?

[fxkindylan-blog]

carteralison:

After spending the morning: 1) explaining gluten to a couple of elderly ladies - who were super lovely despite their grumpy expressions when I told them that there’s not actually gluten in anything without wheat product in it’s ingredients - and 2) baking hundreds of cupcakes for a girl’s sweet sixteen - which I’m sure is going to be super lovely. Hundreds of cupcakes? Where’s my invitation?

I’m super ready for the best part of the whole day - After work naps.

Okay-- what do I have to do to get you to make me hundreds of cupcakes? 

[fxkindylan-blog]

keanemccarthy:

Man guys, I love my cat – don’t get me wrong. He’s the best thing ever but this morning he almost flat out murdered me. I woke up to him covering my nose and mouth with his entire body. Like, damn Shakes-Purr, am I really that bad of a father? Goddamn.

Yooo. Another cat dad! 

I really like his name, by the way. Super clever. 

[fxkindylan-blog]

Are you really going to fight Spencer?

I’d have to be really pissed off at my brother to actually fight him. 

Not only would my dad be angry at both of us; Spencer might give me a run for my money. I’m not saying one of us is better than the other, but we both have different tricks up our sleeves and I wouldn’t want a punch to the face from him any more than he would want one from me. 

[fxkindylan-blog]

saintelip:

You don’t have work or school or something? Cause if you have the day off then you could definitely still be playing video games.

Man... I’m lucky if I get two days off a week from my job. 

If I had time outside of that and school and my friends, I’d be playing right now. But alas; I have a car payment coming up soon and I don’t want to be broke afterward. Nobody really enjoys ramen enough to eat it every day. 

[fxkindylan-blog]

@starryastrid: mmm alright, name the time and place.

@whatthedylan: I don't really care where and when, but if we're talking genres; sad stuff gets me right in my feelings and I hate it.

[fxkindylan-blog]

TEXT | DYL & X

X: No, nothing at all. What do you have in mind? The gym first, maybe?

DYL: Absolutely. I ate too much mac and cheese this morning, and now my abs feel sad.

[fxkindylan-blog]

samantha-annejones:

Sorry! 

And don’t forget it, I might be famous one day

Mmmhm. Well, one day when you’re famous; I’m gonna come wake you up at 3am. 

Good luck, by the way.

[fxkindylan-blog]

spencehummel:

fxkindylan replied to your post “fuck marry kiss: carter, xander, brie”

I love you a lot, Spencer. I really do. But I’m gonna kick your ass.

COME AT ME, HOE.

I don’t think you wanna catch these hands, bro. 

[fxkindylan-blog]

miss you, hubs <3

And here I thought you were cheating on me with my brother.

[fxkindylan-blog]

missbriemarie:

fxkindylan replied to your photo

i’m thirsty

Well, maybe if you’d hurry your ass up and get here, you wouldn’t have to be so thirsty. Just sayin’, babe.

I have to power through another hour of selling footballs and gear to strange people. I was trying to get lifted with Xander after work, but he’s somewhere doing something and I’m not confident in my waiting skills. I’ll come over as soon as I’m off the clock. I don’t know what to do for now, though. Just sit here and disintegrate.

[wickedgaamees]

I know you and I are not about poems or other sentimental bullshit but I have to tell you even the way you drink your coffee knocks me the fuck out.

Clementine Von Radics. (via wickedgaamees)

[brieisms-blog1]

+ DYLAN;

[fxkindylan-blog]

missbriemarie:

Very true, you fuckin’ goober.

No, I mean, you’re coming to talk to me about feelings you’re having. They could be bad, so yeah, makes me a little anxious. But like, if they’re not, you can just say so and I can stop worrying. However, you are still welcome to bring me food.

I know it is. I am not adorable, Dylan Hummel, shut your mouth. Oh my god, leave me alooone. Your hoodies are warm and the sleeves always hang over my wrists and make me feel cute and smol.

Literally yes goober is I.

I just wanted to be sure that you weren’t feeling some type of way. I mean, it makes more sense now. And no, they’re not. I feel cheated but I’ll be there.

Okay. You can go ahead and think that. Normally when you borrow an article of clothing from somebody, you return it to them. I’m still missing like three t-shirts and a pair of sweat pants. Do you feel cute and smol in those, too?