fine line

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hi all! i go by b, i use she/her pronouns, and i reside in the est timezone! this is my child finn. i am always open for plotting and chatting so feel free to shoot me a DM anytime <3 otherwise, enjoy the intro below !

name: finnegan “finn” carsen pinterest: here age: twenty-seven hometown: tbd birthday: march 8th, 1995 loves old libraries, couldn’t care less about museums. dog ears his book pages and writes in the margins, destroying the one thing he holds dearest. wants to write something that makes people feel things while falling into the social norms more often than he can count. keeps his room of the darkest colors while opening the window just to bask in the sunshine. the desire to just be more.

tw: mental health mention, abuse mention

finn is the middle son of his parents and though he thought he’d always be the most looked over, that was never the case. his older brother was a golden child, star student, good at sports. his younger brother was meek, intelligent.

he started struggling with his mental health very obviously at a young age and found expression through writing. journal after journal, he poured out his thoughts instead of allowing them to stay trapped and do more harm. he was a dark minded boy, often overcome by his own thoughts to the point of self-isolating and remaining in his room for days on end.

painted in his memory is the day his parents found one of his journals, a warm july day when he was 15. the trick they played on him that day was cruel. a promised camping trip from his father turned into taking him far away from home and dropping him at a camp that was sure to fix him. there was no hug and kiss goodbye this time. there never had been, when he thought about it.

to say the very least, this camp was not good to its attendees. adolescent boys whose struggles ran deeper than the “counselors” could ever know. they poked and prodded where they never should have, made them work through illness, and even withheld meals when they deemed it appropriate. he spent every summer when he wasn’t in school at this camp until he turned 18 and could leave the house. he only tried to tell his parents about the abuse once. they didn’t believe him.

when finn left home, he took up writing again. he applied to job after job, hoping that someone would hire him to write for them. finally landing as a journalist, he was starstruck. it didn’t take long for others to fall in love with his writing. becoming one of the best known journalists at his office was only the beginning.

he hasn’t spoken to his parents or his brothers in years. once, he thought about writing an expose on the camp. for the first time in his life, his mind ran blank.

to the core, finn is a brooding boy. he’s not unkind, but doesn’t go out  of his way to be kind either. he floats somewhere in the middle, as he  always did. he’s the dark academic type, nose into books and journals  with little attention to whatever else life has to offer. he likes both  facts and good stories. the one thing he still lacks is the ability to stand up for himself when he is blatantly being treated wrong.

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cashwolff​:

“Harassing the townspeople?” Cash had little to no understanding of why people didn’t like them sniffing around and trying to find out what had happened to all these missing kids. He’d never admit it but he was a bit unnerved by the whole case, three missing older teenagers had been one thing but the idea of eleven year olds being in the mix was making him feel all kinds of strange. If it wasn’t for his pompous front perhaps he would have been more relatable but he had a way of being so absolutely self-involved that it was hard to identify if there was a genuine emotion left inside of him. “We’re just looking for answers. They’ll thank us when we bring home these kids,” they’d be adults now but somehow that disappeared in Cash’s mind, he had to paint the big happy picture, himself as a hero and the cast as his entourage. 

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finn shook his head. “not the people we need to be questioning,” he responded, realizing he’d been misunderstood. finn was all about questioning those with connections to the kids, people who agreed to interviews. “i heard one of the townspeople mention that someone had come snooping around their home,” he twiddled his pen between his fingers. “i had assumed it was one of our own, considering we’re the newbies on the case.” he wasn’t sure who it may have been, considering he still didn’t know the cast and crew very well, but he believed that asking questions and snooping were two very different things. people still deserved to live their lives while the crew worked to bring home the children that they lost (if they were still able to be found, that was).

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nevergettoheaven​:

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the blonde nods at finn’s comments, wondering if local hero turned primary suspect jerry juke would make his presence known anytime soon. the way that finn knows her coffee order is a small reminder of how easy things so often felt around him, the way spending time together was almost second nature. sure, things had changed as they’d gotten older, especially after the accident, but as her coffee is placed right in front of her exactly as it would have had she been the one to order it, a miniscule smile tugs at her lips. annie’s nodding along to finn’s words, enthusiastic in her performance, but she chose the wrong moment to take a sip of her drink, finn’s comment about the church causing her to almost involuntarily laugh. which, of course, while trying to drink coffee, didn’t go well. coughing a bit, she places the coffee down, one hand covering her mouth and the grin that’s fighting to break through, the other waving off the couple’s slight concern. 

“so sorry about that, i was a bit too eager with the hot coffee.” of course that was it, not that the thought of her and finn bringing their imaginary gaggle of children to any sort of church was too funny not to laugh about. annie listens as the couple begin to talk about their experience living in the town, raising their children there. they were sure to talk about the athletics programs offered at the high school, about their local church (which was, rather unfortunately, not one mentioned in any of their case notes or research), about the community as a whole. the blonde sips her coffee, trying to decide when would be the best time to interject. as there’s a slight lull in the conversation, she smiles. “i’m so happy to hear that you and your family have had such a lovely experience here. we’ve heard so many good things, it’s just that…well, maybe i’m a bit of a worrier, but some of the things that popped up when we were looking at articles about the town,” annie trails off, leaning in slightly, voice lowered as concern spreads across her face. she shifts her gaze to finn, eyes widening slightly, trying to hint that now would be a good time for him to ask those questions he’d been hoping to ask the locals. 

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it is of no surprise to finn that annie is beginning to lose her cool. really, he should’ve known that the church comment would be the thing to send her, but he just had to add it in there. finn and annie had never been church people, and anyone else who knew them would’ve chuckled at the thought as well. finn’s parents had done their best, tried to raise him in the church, but he hated it from the first moment he stepped foot inside one. he’s sure that if he tried now, he would simply burst into flames. the man stifles his own laugh, quickly molding his face to look like an expression of concern instead. he clears his throat, ridding himself of the urge to chuckle. “you do always try to sip your coffee too soon,” he replies smoothly, a small smile playing at his lips.

finn takes annie’s words for what they are: a cue to start asking what he wants to know. he wraps soft hands around his coffee cup, the warmth spreading through his fingers. “right, like she said, some of the things we’ve found are a bit concerning. maybe not for two adults living on their own, but as the two of us want children, well...” he trails off, glancing out the window for a moment. “we read some things about some children going missing suddenly. not just a few, either. i’m sure you can understand our concern about that in particular. not that i expect the two of you to know what happened, but maybe you have some insight on the safety of children around here.” he meets the eyes of the couple across from them. he feels slightly guilty, as he’s always been a journalist who prides himself in honesty and transparency, but he’s not ready to tell them why he’s asking. there are worse things he could do for his stories, and he vows to never go further. a small fib about his identity can be the worst for now if it helps them in any way.

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nevergettoheaven​:

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“or it’s even bigger than that. maybe there’s a whole bunch of people involved, and that’s why it’s so difficult to get information from anyone, why the cops are pissed that we’re here,” she suggests, on a bit of a tangent. “two separate kidnappings of young people, one tied to a church and the other tied to the school, two important parts of the community.” places where individuals were meant to feel safe, where no harm should come to them. and yet. 

their childhood had been full of moments like this, albeit the context was certainly different. annie dragging finn into her (mostly) harmless schemes, knowing without a doubt that if she needed him, all she had to do was look behind or beside her and he wouldn’t be too far away, knowing that she would do the same for him. annie leans into finn’s side, her smile widening as the couple agrees to meet with them without hesitation. “thank you so much, we really appreciate it,” she chirps, following the couple as they lead them to a nearby spot they say has the best coffee in westport with the best view to match. slipping into a chair on the outside patio, annie smiles as the older woman sits across from her. “we both grew up on the coast, so we really love how familiar westport feels. but, of course, when making such a huge decision like this, you have to consider more than just how close the beach is and the cute shops nearby. i mean, safety’s a huge consideration, the quality of the school district, if it’s a good place to raise a family,” she lists off, glancing to finn as if for reassurance, before her gaze returns to the older couple. 

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“well, that would make sense. i mean the more witnesses we interview, the more likely it seems that it’s a group of people.” finn isn’t one to conspire, to share all his theories until he has facts. but with annie, he can rattle off any thought, and she’ll never hold him to it. “two important parts of the community and also involving one man. in a small town like this, nothing is a coincidence.” he’d been to his fair share of small towns for stories. all of them proved his point.

finn is allowing annie to take the lead, knowing that her plan is impromptu but also may be advantageous to their search. she had never failed him, not even when pulling him into whatever little plot she’d thought up. he subconsciously squeezes her hand, maybe a subtle way to say that he’s with her, he’s following along whatever she decides in the moment. they follow the couple to the coffee spot, and finn rattles off his and annie’s orders, allowing the other couple to order whatever they please as well. he smiles at annie, offering some solace (though he felt nervous and couldn’t put his finger on why),  “right. i mean, we’re loving the feel of the town so far. it’s definitely very cozy and it seems like you guys have such a tight knit community,” he smiles at the couple then, the expression forced on his lips but they’d never be able to tell. “but truthfully, we want a big family and want to make sure this is the right town for that. the schools and churches back home just weren’t quite a fit for how we’d like to raise our children one day.”

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open starter - any location

finn’s brows were furrowed, eyes (and mind) set deeply on case notes, letting himself become enveloped in this case. work had been a distraction for him for years now, one he could throw his all into and never worry about anything else. he sighed, looking up. “listen, i’m all about getting a good story, believe me. but i really don’t think we should be harassing the townspeople.”

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nevergettoheaven​:

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maybe she should have tried to offer some form of reassurance, encouragement that, with time, it would get easier between finn and angel. maybe that’s what she would have done a year ago, but now, she’s a bit too cynical to offer her best friend possibly empty words. so instead, she just briefly squeezes his arm and changes the subject, allowing them to move onto something easier to talk about. the blonde nods at his reference to the anonymous tip, lips briefly tugging into a frown at the mention of the eleven year old girls who had gone missing. “my question is, why is this the first time we’re hearing about it? five missing kids from one town, all under the supervision of the same guy and no one thought it was relevant to tell us about the earlier case?” it was certainly suspicious, not just for jerry juke, but for the community as a whole. 

spotting an older couple up ahead, an idea comes to mind, and she nudges finn, gaze shifting between him and the couple. “now’s your chance. follow my lead,” and with that, she slips her hand into his, pulling him along as she approaches the strangers. “hi there! i’m so sorry to bother you guys, but do you happen to be from around here?” annie’s entire demeanor has changed, voice upbeat and with an easy smile on her lips. as the couple confirm that they’ve lived here for over twenty years, she continues, glancing up at finn with a quick smile before returning her gaze to the couple. “my boyfriend and i are here looking at a house, and we were hoping to chat with some locals just to get a better feel for the area. would you mind answering a few questions for us?” 

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finn is glad to have the conversation topic leave his past. he knows that annie has her own trauma to cope with from that particular time period anyways, much more heart wrenching than a breakup. he tilts his head slightly to the side as she speaks, physical proof of his listening intently, always interested in what she has to say. annie could talk about nonsense and finn would always listen as if it were the best thing he’d ever heard. “two theories there. either the townspeople don’t want to believe that he could be involved, so they ignored it,” he pauses. “or they know that it’s likely and they’re scared of that fact.” finn has been to small towns before for stories, and he remembers that they usually have their plethora of issues for such small populations.

the man doesn’t even have time to question annie’s plan. he walks alongside her, hand in hand, a gesture that once had felt very familiar but he’s now realizing he forgets the feeling of since annie’s accident. finn watches in awe as she transforms in front of his eyes, suddenly a girl he doesn’t know, but he gives her a smile in return to reassure her that yes, he’s playing along, and to reassure the couple that yes, they are young and in love. finn clears his throat. “we’re actually from the complete opposite side of the country, so we’re really hoping to get the best understanding we can while we’re visiting for a short time. if you wouldn’t mind, i’d be happy to buy us all some coffee to chat over.”

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dylancrane​:

“everyone is hot in their own way. i’d fuck almost anyone, you know, just to try it. call it sexual fomo if you want… after my cleanse, obviously,” she didn’t mind being vocal about her flaws, she just never really identified or honed in on the bigger issues. standing there in his trailer with the door still ajar then she thought for a second and then shrugged, “i know what we should do… i mean, since crime is totally off the table… lame…” she pretended to pout but leaned forwards grabbing him by the hands to pull him up, a smooth enough motion as she released almost immediately. she wasn’t too touchy feely but she also wasn’t stoic. “karaoke! there’s gotta be some old dude dive bar around here with an open mic night. look at this place.”

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“that’s certainly an open minded way to look at things. i can’t say i agree with the sentiment, but to each their own,” finn responded. he was never one to sleep around really, always a partner at a time even though very few of them were real relationships. that just sounded like a lot of time and energy that he didn’t have. the man sighed as he was pulled to his feet, the words from her tongue making him regret agreeing before she had mentioned anything. “karaoke? if you think i’m going to agree to karaoke this stone cold sober, i think you’ve got a misconception of who you just met.”

[poeticallybitter]

[maya-hawke]

LEXI & FEZCO Euphoria | 2.08 “All My Life, My Heart Has Yearned for a Thing I Cannot Name”

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me: i dont give a shit

narrator: actually, he gave many shits

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havntcd​:

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“We have some secondary interviews on the schedule for some of them,” even that was a stretch, “but after all this time, people don’t want to talk about it over and over again.” Hannah could understand it but it didn’t make their job any easier. “You know, the more I think about it, the stranger it is. Even with the interviews we did get, it feels like it was all done in secret, that they weren’t supposed to be there or talking about it…” Maybe Dylan had a point. It felt more and more like a cover-up every single day. “I agree, we have to be delicate how we ask him to do one though, I really don’t need anyone getting him upset and refusing to do it because he thinks people suspect him already.” Even though she did, she definitely did.

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“of course not. but unfortunately for them, if they want to find out what happened to their loved ones, they might have to subject themselves to that,” finn responded. he could understand not wanting to talk about such emotional things over and over, it was part of the reason he’d never written a story on what happened to him. “i thought the same thing. kady’s sister only wanting to talk to one specific person was odd, and it was like none of us knew they were happening until they did.” but what could he really expect considering this was as much a reality show as it was solving cases? “fair point. i mean, hopefully he can see it from a perspective where we’d just want to interview him for being an involved member of the town, or something like that.”

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demcntiime​:

“ well i ain’t plannin’ on callin’ the cops on us, are you ? ” he shot him a look, “ no ? then nobody’s gettin’ arrested. now stop bitchin, i need someone to be the lookout while i pick this lock. ”

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finn sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. he didn’t want to be involved but at this point he was in too deep, the other man was already at work. “what are you even looking for?” he questioned, keeping an eye on the environment around them.

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levi-zhao​:

“Hardware set up, software set up, reinstalling things, basic fixes, I’ve done some ethical hacking for companies to figure out how to strengthen their systems, and I’m qualified for some forensic tech things, but I haven’t actually used any of it,” Levi said, listing off of things, “so I’ve been all over the place. But I guess that you’re right about that, though I can’t see anything that we actually solve being a cryptid.” 

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finn nodded his head. tech had never been an interest of his, in fact he kind of steered clear of it other than basic use. “forensic tech sounds like it would be cool, but i don’t really know much about any of that so maybe not.” he shrugged. “if anything we solve ends up actually being a cryptid with proof i’ll gladly admit i’m wrong, but i doubt that’ll happen.”

[christopherwooddaily]

[fyeahgh]

[brendenfraser]

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gdizeph​:

“ i still am gonna toss my hat in the ring and say that somebody made a deal with a demon and or satan, the amount of headaches and unexplained memory loss is ridiculous. “ running a slender hand through curly locks, a smile spread across rosy lips. this is probably the most i’ve spoken in months. “ i’m a bit offended that so many people think it’s aliens or bigfoot when my number one suspect is the creepy bus driver with prior victims. “

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finn shook his head. “sure, if you believe in those sorts of things. to me it just sounds like someone was ill,” he replied, a shrug of his shoulders. finn didn’t like any of the outlandish supernatural theories, but he figured sooner or later he’d grow immune to them considering his company. “but i do agree with that sentiment. he should be our next priority to interview, if you ask me.”