Fuck Yeah Biology Memes!

talk nerdy to me 🐢🔬🪲🧬🐁🌳🦀🌱🦕🧫🐦‍⬛🍄

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I would never make it as a bird. The stress of keeping the eggs warm all the time would be too much for me.

[twothousandyearsindungeon]

It doesnt do birds any favors either, great tits or no.

[its-funnytwittertweets]

[dragonpyre]

[sevastiel]

[bugs-are-buddies]

(via entomemeology)

[texasfartsupply]

reminds me of this unfortunate text exchange between my father and me

[bark-barkley]

I WANT TO LOOK AT THINGS MADE BY HUMAN BEINGS

[softwetmoss]

And also occasionally by pufferfish

[hotephoetips-deactivated2017080]

i’m watching Bee Movie for the first time

i’m 1 minute and 30 seconds in

a’ight so this main character is supposed to be a male bee but he uses a pencil sharpener to sharpen his stinger but male bees don’t have stingers?

[hotephoetips-deactivated2017080]

he got a mom and dad but the queen supposed to be the only one procreating so what is the truth?

[hotephoetips-deactivated2017080]

a'ight so this a whole society of bees that feel obligated to walk and drive instead of fly

[hotephoetips-deactivated2017080]

he just became disillusioned with the capitalist system it’s bout to be some shit

[hotephoetips-deactivated2017080]

you’d figure this movie would have more woman characters considering as how female bees are the ones who do all the work but ok

[hotephoetips-deactivated2017080]

i know too much about bees to watch this movie

[great-and-small]

Yeah okay there are like 11 species of heron native to the USA and yes fine I’ve only managed to spot 10 of those species. You might think I’m bitter about that one species evading me but I’m not. I’m actually the Least Bittern person about it in the entire world

[cuunos]

jellyfish lifecycles piss me off a little bit

[cuunos]

you don't have to do that. you can just not do that

[eddieintheocean]

:D they can do more :D (x)

[vamp1rate]

sometimes i really love inaturalist

[sideiest-blog-around]

Oh this is great

[astra-the-dragon]

more highlights:

[Steller's Jay, Cyanocitta stelleri, USA]

[Knight Anole, Anolis equestris, USA]

[yet-to-be-identified fly, Phaoniinae, England]

[Northern Flicker, Colaptes auratus, USA]

you, too, can contribute to the project! :3

[the-vegan-muser]

I have an entire album on my phone of my coworkers & I holding birds

[clonerightsagenda]

When I was at the natural history museum, the fossil section had stickers on the glass to engage children - things like "Flap your arms like a pterodactyl" or "Measure your hand against the mosasaurus." However the first of these I encountered, which I found alarming and threatening without context, was a sticker reading "Struggle like you are stuck in a tar pit"

[clonerightsagenda]

I feel like more bright colors, an exclamation mark, or a more whimsical font choice would've also helped here to indicate that it is a Fun Activity For Children. Instead it felt like getting instructed in my inevitable fate by a road sign

[silly-signs]

Official silly sign

[what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me]

What they don’t tell you about getting into bird watching is that once you get into it, you do not get to decide when you bird watch. You can be on the beach of some distant tropical country with nothing planned except relaxing. But then you see a Common Fluttering Nut Buster and you’re like fuckkkkkkkk holy shit guys the Common Fluttering Nut Buster is not supposed to live this far west holy shitttttttttt

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

some of the comments on the zoo post are like. ohhh you are the 27 year old adult who goes to the zoo and when the zookeeper asks some questions about animals designed to get 3 year olds engaged you’re like. this is MY time to shine!!!! now all these toddlers will know that I am the king of animal facts!!!!

[xyrm-deleted-deactivated2018080]

escaped medical leech

[shadybacon]

There are medical leeches!?

[jesus-lizard-journal]

Yes! They work very hard to get their medical degrees. 

[roachpatrol]

not this one, though. this one’s trying to ditch class. 

[apathy-tied-in-knots]

what was the class, color theory?

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[feldfrog]

Imagine being one of the parents for the kids in the Magic School Bus class. Getting those field trip permission slips home every single night.

Like what, another one? Doesn’t she teach? This just says Inside a Dog

[herpsandbirds]

[moveslikekeithrichards]

the stuffed animal situation is phenomenal these days. you can find any specific arthropod or deep sea fish or microbe etc. used to be back in olden times all you could get was bears and mutants

[luulapants]

Rating the birds in my backyard by tendency toward violence

Northern Cardinal, 4/10

I'm sometimes worried the male is sexually harassing the female but I'm pretty sure they're just doing some elaborate public pickup roleplay. The rest of us didn't agree to participate in your kink, guys.

American Robin, 1/10

Literally just some dude hanging out. Never bothered anyone but worms. Big fan of the way you just stand there in the middle of the grass like you forgot what you were supposed to be doing.

House Sparrow, 10/10

You're a gang. You're participating in gang violence. There's ten billion of you living in a single wood pile and it's been civil war for three years now. When will the bloodshed end?

Tufted Titmouse, 1/10

A shy baby. A pretty little guy. I saw you on the neighbor's garage roof and time stopped. There were anime sparkles around you. Come back.

European Starling, 9/10

Why is it always you? Listen, I know, I KNOW the sparrows are the problem, and YET. When the fighting starts, it's always you in the middle of it, provoking them and then screaming like you're an innocent bystander defending yourself. I'm onto you.

Carolina Wren, 3/10

This rating is not for physical violence, which you don't engage in, but for your role as an incurable narc. A tattle tale. I know they're fighting again, okay? I see it. Our yard has been a warzone for years, you don't have to make a big announcement every time someone misbehaves.

Eastern Wood-Peewee, 0/10

If this were "birds who think they're better than everyone else," you'd get 10/10.

Red-bellied Woodpecker, 6/10

It's a utility pole. It's not a tree. You're surrounded by trees that are full of bugs. But there you are, on the utility pole. Committing vandalism.

American Crow, unrated

For who am I to cast judgment on the actions of La Famiglia? I assume you are doing what is best for the neighborhood. If I could, though, without criticism, make a single observation. That when large numbers of you gather in the ominous dead cottonwood - no? No, you're right. None of my business.

Great Crested Flycatcher, 5/10

Frankly, I think you could be doing more. I think your name implies a great potential. I think you should massacre the insects. I think your beak should drip with viscera.

Stay tuned for more criminal activity!

[luulapants]

(continued)

Common Grackle, 7/10

La Famiglia does not suffer you to stop in our neighborhood long, and I trust their judgement in this manner. You have the look of a guilty bird.

Tennessee Warbler, 2/10

You keep to yourselves, and I respect that. I get the sense that you could defend yourselves if it came to it, though.

Brown-Headed Cowbird, 3/10

You're not a crow, and eventually they ARE going to figure it out, kiddo.

Gray Catbird, 5/10

Would you. Respectfully. Would you shut the FUCK UP.

Eurasian Collared-Dove, 0/10

You're doing great, sweetie, everyone loves you.

Red-Breasted Nuthatch, 4/10

A comedian. A little jester of a bird. You're so silly. Sure sometimes you incite violence in others but, really, is that your fault? If it is, we forgive you.

Blue Jay, 12/10

If you could learn any human behavior you wanted, it would be how to build a bomb.

Honorable mention:

Turkey Vulture, 5/10

You weren't in my backyard, but you WERE eating roadkill in the street in my neighborhood. I know the animal was already dead when you got there, but you get violence points for frightening the small children that walked past you. Incredible work.

[auxryn]

This is why Tumblr is good.

[lawfulgoodness]

I immediately scrolled to the blue jay to decide whether or not I wanted to read the rest of the post. Once I realized that OP got that right, I went back and read the rest. 10/10 OP.

[feral-renaissance-cat]

I read this to my dad who sits on his porch and watches the birds and his only note is that he has seen multiple male cardinals attempt to fight their reflections to the death and should have a higher rating.

[someinstant]

OP is correct in all of these assessments, and I respect it.

[elodieunderglass]

Thank you so much @fozmeadows !

[silver-spider-art]

Agree with all of this, but the most violent mo'fo in our back yard is the Ruby Throated Hummingbird.

This little bastard will fight god and win. They are so extremely territorial and will violently chase each other around like they are having an aerial dog fight. The only thing holding them back is their minute size and need for endless consumption less they succumb.

[2birds1pencil]

*insert piping plover emojis here*

[arthur-dentist]

I'm literally working outside of work hours rn (taking a lil break) to enter plover data bc these little buggers are so busy rn I spend all of my time in the field

[isaacsapphire]

I adore that this got in front of someone who was indeed working plovertime.