The Hopeless but not so Romantic

"My heart is not a home for cowards"

[remanence-of-love]

[g199x]

After all this time.

I had a dream a little while ago. U were here. U called me up and we hangout for a while. We were in a theater, told u I had to leave because I had work to do. You asked if I could stay for a while and that you needed my help because you have that period pain again. I said there are too many people here and they might take how I'm helping you in a different light, and besides, your assistant was there. You said, it doesn't matter. You came to sit with me, and I did help you. I just casually cancelled all schedules for you, like I always did. Gosh.

We went somewhere - a garden, and you met someone there. I saw you all smiles, and it made me happy.

I went home, knowing you'll be in good hands.

When I got home, I noticed something on my chest. I asked about it, they told me it was a love curse, and you can get it if you go near a love tree.

Great.

The only cure for it was to find someone who has the same curse- and you know- exchange of liquids-lol.

You called me up, saying you were sick. I guess you and your new guy have the curse too. I explained it to you, but you said you wanted to see me in person and talk about it. I asked you when you are leaving, you said probably next month, so I need to see you now.

Again, I cancelled all plans. ----

I met you 7 years ago. We separated 3 years ago and have been friends ever since.

I know it was just a dream, but I also know that my decisions also reflect my reality.

[necrowtic]

Advice for women?

lesbian sex

[feelingsoftheday]

You deserve someone who wants to figure it out with you.

[g199x]

I told u repeatedly that all these are unnecessary because this won’t end well for you. If u knew me u should have known that but u really only thought about yourself.

Do you know know it only takes 3 mins to cook your breakfast? And 15 mins fornthe fried rice? No because ubwerent doing it, I was.

Do you know that when ur drunk you’re 3 times heavier when ur angry? Nooo because I was the one who took time to make sure youre comfortable sleeping drunk and never did I mention this to u

If unknew me u should have known that yhis woild burt me me more because by the end kf this Youll get hurt.

I have made peace with the fact that what we had was bound to fall.

I have made peace with the sad truth that the person I thought u were- the kind, understanding, fun, openiminded soul- did not really exist because you’re a trash who thinks that the world is out there to get you. Who the eff do you think you are?

I never did try to bother u after our end, no matter what ur head tells u.

Wtf?

You had racing uncalled for opinions about me and I did not take it against u.

Yet here we are.

You are sick in the head. You play mindgames you never can win.

What? U try to victimize yourself? Sick.

You and I both know, that you are very far from being the victim. You’re not the main character in this book, love. Never will be.

I have moved forward with everything and you’ll be here living your “best” boring life with all your unresolved mommy issues because you’re a narcissist who played being the vixtim all her life and had downplayed/gaslighted people around you.

If U knew me, you’ll know that I’ll be able to turn things around like I always do. But u don’t because u think u can outsmart me, but you are not as smart as u think u are.

Wtf?

And that concludes my TEDTALK for tonight. Thank you.

[g199x]

I wanted to write about the magic that had happened. However, looking back there was nothing to write about. I looked for art in every corner of months spent, there was nothing there. All I saw were hollow moments of filling up the void- not on my end-maybe. I wanted to romanticize everything. But do tell me, how do you make art out of a moment, a thing, or person when it did not exist to begin with?

[thoughtkick]

“But every time I try to move on, you’re right there.”

— Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl

[wher3smyjuulll-deactivated20231]

[taylorswift]

Allow me to introduce…The 1989 (my version) Sunrise Boulevard Vinyl Edition💛 Available on my site for the next 48 hours 🥰

taylor.lnk.to/1989TaylorsVersion

[thepersonalquotes]

[g199x]

Now I understand. You haven’t really healed from your past. That’s the reason why you can’t trust me entirely nor let anyone in for that matter.

I understand what I need- want to do now.

You will get there. Let’s get you there.

Not because I love you and I want to end up with you, but because I love you and I want you to be whatever you want to be.

You will get there. I will get you there.

I may not be the one at the end of the road, but I will be the one walking alongside with you.

I will take you there.

[g199x]

You once told me that you wanted a big dog. So I planned kn getting one. I wanted to give it on your brthday, but the timing wasn’t right. So I postponed giving you my gift. I decided to give it on our anniversary. I casually mentioned it to you, you kind of said you didn’t want it. So I said I got the dog for myself.

That was the first time I was hurt by what you said.

Then everything came piling up.

[g199x]

I don't why but I feel like you feel that being with me is a hard thing to do.

I am so in love with you but you make me sad.

You told me that you are already tired of chatting and calling, I do understand, I won't push. But it's saddening to see you having fun and enjoying random chat with others. I am jealous, but I won't say anything about it. You might have your reasons.

I remember your sister saying that you're with your girlfriend but your dreams were of someone else.

You told me that I'd cry if you cheated on me, I don't know why you said that, but it hit different. Did you want to see someone else?

I don't know how I would feel about it. Yes, most probably, I'd cry about it, I'd cry for you. But I'd set you free. I'd give you what would make you happy.

I would be miserable but I know soon enough I'd be okay, like I did the last time.

I thought you were different. Right now, you seem to be just like the one that came before you.

So I'll say this now.

Do what will make you happy. I'll be okay.

[g199x]

I don't know if it's my mind playing games on me or it's my intuition telling me something's up. I really hope it's the latter.

[disgustinggf]

dating 101: how to make ur significant other stay longer than ur dad did

[g199x]

Now I understand that no matter how much I wish it from the universe, it’ll never be me.

[g199x]

unblock me you coward