私の世界は孤独です

[[AutoPlay Warning!!] "Anyway, it’s too boring to keep watching something that has no movement." Indie Matt Jeevas Blog Not Selective. Everyone is free to speak to me always

[skeletonwithabowtie]

Please Reblog if your muse isn't just 'the character I write as', but is someone who is there with you.

[silverinthedark]

[gameboyplayboy-blog]

the-best-dresser:

“Stay with me.” He snuggled up against the gamer, out rather quickly once his eyes were closed. He felt funny, sleeping like he did when he had finally hit the point of exhaustion.

"Not like I got a choic'," Matt smiled a bit without meaning to, it was a bit silly seeing his violent blond be so helpless, like a whole different person was laying next to him.

[mxhxxlkxxhl]

He giggled a little at Matt’s response. “You’re the only one who might be worth it but I can’t have you.” He wasn’t sure why he’d said that, aware of the words only after they’d been spoken. But he was messed up, maybe Matt would forget. He tried to tug on Matt’s arm to get him to lay down with him. “I’m tired.” He whined, playing with some of the gauze on his head as if he hadn’t realised it’d been put there.

[gameboyplayboy-blog]

Despite Matt being in a half daze, he heard every words, he just didn't know exactly how to respond to what he heard. Sure, he really fucking cared about the dumb blond, but he didn't have the capacity to admit it to himself or Mello. Practically being yanked down, the red head fell into the bed quite easily when tugged on, trying to keep his head straight he pushed the blond down as well. "Go to sleep then Mellz..." he spoke half awake himself.

[mxhxxlkxxhl]

“I was going for a date.” He whined, listening to the rest of what Matt had to say. “You have to be. You’re supposed to always be around.” He wrapped his arms around Matt again, lazily resting his head against him. “My best friend.”

[gameboyplayboy-blog]

"Yea...that's me." Matt practically flinched when being hugged, it wasn't like he didn't enjoy being just, 'the best friend'it was just seeing his friend get hurt. Well, the red head didn't really know his feelings for Mello, but he knew he couldn't stand seeing the other leave. It was hard to keep his thoughts straight or his movements in the least bit, the alcohol trying to force him to go down. "A date with a someone not worth it apparently...."

[tis-i-jeevas-christ-deactivated]

[mxhxxlkxxhl]

He nodded a little, resting his head against Matt so he could work. Why stop him? It needed to happen. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to be gone. It was supposed to be one night.” His hold on Matt tightened for a moment as he tried to clean up the blond.

[gameboyplayboy-blog]

He didn't know how to feel anymore, he wanted to scream, no, yell at the blond for even thinking about leaving in the first place. Matt just couldn't bring himself to yell at someone so injured no matter how angry and intoxicated he was, "Ju-just stay still..." The red head sighed, finishing wrapping the gauze around the boy's head. "Ya gotta be more careful Mellz, I can't always be 'round to help ya."

[mxhxxlkxxhl]

“M-mattie!” He began to cling to the redhead the moment he entered the room, “You didn’t leave me. I thought…I thought you left.” He winced and yelped, trying to swat Matt’s hands away as they touched his head. “I…um…” He tried to think about it again. “I d-dont remember. How long was I gone Matt? I don’t remember what happened, was it a long time?” He grabbed onto the front of Matt’s shirt as he looked up at him, needing an answer.

[gameboyplayboy-blog]

The red headed boy felt his heart sink a bit while he tried to ignore all of Mello's pleading and whining, trying to stick to the task at hand, but the thought of how long his blond friend had been gone only made his heart start to sink even more than before, "I--...too long." He mumbled, grasping the gauze a little tighter, eyes not wanting to look at the ones staring him down. "You left...for a long time."

It was becoming hard to hold back his true feelings, hold back the reason he was so wasted that night.

[mxhxxlkxxhl]

He buried his face in the pillow, comforted by the familiar smell and feel. “Matt? No. No come back. You can’t leave me! Matt!” He stared at the door way panicking as he struggled to get himself up. “Where are you going?” Convinced Matt was actually leaving him and not even considering he could be getting something he got himself into his feet but feel right back onto the bed. He was shaking, tears making their way to his eyes as his emotions went into overdrive in seconds at the first possibility that came to mind. “Wh-what if I die? See. See you can’t go.” Fuck. Fuck. A panic attack right now was a bad thing. He felt like he might actually be dying. Oh man he was really bad.

[gameboyplayboy-blog]

Not even noticing the blond yelling out dramatically, Matt hectically looked for the first aid kit. Finally finding the darn thing he came back into the room and witnessed the sad sight in front of him. "You're not' gonna die Mellz." He rolled his eyes, placing the first aid kit on the bed and very quickly pulled out a bit of gauze to get whatever blood he could out of the blond strands. "What did ya even get into ya dummy?"

[mxhxxlkxxhl]

“You thoughtless prick.” He pulled Matt against him, partly for balance. “H-help me to the bed?” Using Matt and the door frame he was able to get to his feet, but he swayed and clutched the doorframe as if a black hole was attempting to suck him into hell. His stomach felt like it was full of butterflies-not the nice kind like being drink and close to Matt but the kind that made him feel sick.

“I can’t walk on my own. It’s really hard Matt.” Shakily he reached back out to him, scared of falling again. “I don’t feel well. I feel funny. Matt? Matt I’m scared.” He was trying so hard to find the right words, failing and almost on the border of saying things that would make no sense.

[gameboyplayboy-blog]

Even though the red head was still extremely mad at Mello, he couldn't just leave him like this. Grabbing the blond and putting his arm around his shoulder, Matt tried his best to shift the other into bed. Which only turned out to be rather complicated in his drunk stooper. "I wouldn't be throwin' out names like tha' Mellz, you're in no shape for that kinda talk." Putting him down in the bed, he stumbled to find the first aid kit.

"Ya should just be glad I'm here for ya," He spoke in the best way he could, but it all still came out in a huge slur.

[mxhxxlkxxhl]

It was all a blur. Walking out. What he’d taken. All he knew was that he was really messed up. He couldn’t think. He didn’t know where he was. Why did he leave? Thankfully he had his phone, a twenty percent charge left. He tried calling Matt, of course getting no answer. His phone did tell him that he was in a place he knew well. Mello began his journey home, ignoring the stares of people as he walked. He tried to piece together what had happened, he’d gone out on a date. Yeah. But…what then? He couldn’t focus on walking and thinking at the same time, so he just walked. For about a half hour.

He finally made it back, slamming the door open as he stumbled in. He still hadn’t gotten closer to being over whatever he’d been drugged with. “Matt? Matt where the hell are you?” He rubbed the back of his head, flinching as it stung and feeling almost dizzy as he pulled back a red hand. Dizzier. He closed the door, stumbling his way very loudly toward Matt’s room. He wasn’t very far outside the door when he fell, unconscious for a few moments. He tried pulling himself up, leaning on Matt’s door frame. “M-matt?” He moved too quickly, his vision going dark as his head forced him back down on his knees. How long had he been out and what had they done?

[gameboyplayboy-blog]

The red head didn't hear the door being slammed open, to lost in the extreme daze that only high amounts of alcohol could achieve. His vision too blurred over to notice anything out if his eye sight. It took a lot for him to even hear the blond call out his name.

The small noise going completely past him until he finally heard his name right next to his door. Jumping up, he toppled the bottle onto the floor as it rolled out of his lap quickly, stumbling to the door he threw it open to see an injured blond at his feet. Many emotions flooded his mind, he was still extremely angry at his blond friend but seeing him like this struck an entirely different feeling. Dropping to his knees, he put his hand on Mello's shoulder, "Mellz! Mellz what happened!?"

[deathnotetruths]

When Matt proposes to Mello, he is so nervous that he drops the ring three times. 

By the time he sinks to one knee with the ring clutched tightly in his gloved hands, Mello is laughing so hard he’s crying and Matt’s ears turn bright red in embarrassment. 

Mello thwacks his forehead and kisses him, and Matt can barely make out the “Yes, I’ll marry you, you absolute idiot” before he lets out a whoop and tackle-hugs Mello so hard that they both fall over in the middle of the park.

[thepeculiarauthor]

[gameboyplayboy-blog]

Matt was done. Mello made his choice. Now all Matt wanted to do was forget. ‘Best way to forget is to drink, right?’ Despite the time, Matt snuck into the kitchen and grabbed the closest bottle of wine. Sure, it wasn’t too strong, but it would get the job done. Quietly and stealthy sneaking back to his room, Matt made sure no one saw him. Once back in his room, Matt set the bottle down on the table. Maybe he shouldn’t be so eager to drink…Instead, Matt reached for his GameBoy Advance and sat on his bed. Maybe gaming would help… After about 15 minutes, all gaming did was make him more frustrated and hurt. No matter what he did, all he could think about was Mello. His laugh, his smirk, his harsh tone, his kind words… Fed up with his emotions, Matt threw his game console across the room. It hit the wall, and the screen cracked. Normally Matt would be upset, but at this point, Matt couldn’t care less. Matt picked up the bottle of wine and stared at it with hesitation. Might as well, right? Not bothering to get a cup, Matt opened the bottle and took a swig. A slight burning made it’s way down his throat. 

Lighting a cigarette, Matt had a moment to think. Mello ran away. Again. Once, sure, it hurt, but they were cool. But again? That hurt. Matt laughed bitterly. Why did he care so much about the blond? He was rash, and violent. He was obsessed with beating an albino boy. He had a huge inferiority complex. So then why did Matt care about him? Taking another swig from the bottle, Matt shook his head. He was so pathetic. He knew why. It was because Mello was his entire world. If it wasn’t for Mello, Matt would be all alone. Mello was kind to him, at times. He tolerated Matt’s presence. He was generally concerned about it, although he had odd ways of showing it. They trusted one another. Taking a drag of his cigarette, Matt wanted to laugh. He was so pathetic. But it didn’t matter. He was going to get drunk, and by tomorrow, he will have forgotten about his feelings for the blond.

[kimbeekitty]

I wonder what he had to say after Mello came back, bloody and burned.

[gameboyplayboy-blog]

[fuckyeahroleplayadvice]

School Drabble Prompts

Send one for me to write a drabble:

📚 Studying in the library ✏️ Going to a new class 🔬 Working in the science lab 💯 Getting a good grade on an assignment ❌ Failing an exam 🍑 Eating lunch outside on a nice day 📝 Hearing gossip about a new student 📖 Daydreaming during a lecture 💁 Being called to the Principle’s office 🎨 Taking an art class 🎊 Graduation ceremony 📱 Getting caught texting in class 📎 A classmate asking to borrow something 📌 Getting randomly called on and not knowing the answer ✂️ Stage fright while giving a presentation 

[roleplaypairing-confessions-dea]

xiv-xion and light-me-up-matt are too cute! I could watch they’re bickering all day!

[gameboyplayboy-blog]

…We don’t bicker!