[chronictranssexuality]

"you don't owe anyone anything" You are a tar pit. Speak for yourself. I personally owe the cafe employees my dishes put away and my friends a listening ear and small scared insects a cup and a gentle trip outside. Hyperindividualism is a rancid infection borne of capitalism and willfully misinterpreted therapyspeak and I will defy it by continuing to be kind regardless of whether or not it benefits me personally

[prokopetz]

Ancient Mesopotamian steampunk guy wearing a hat with a bunch of levers and inclined planes stuck to it.

[pukicho]

The pikachu in your pfp looks like it seen things 😭😭

That's me, do not be rude.

[wizzard890]

I'm howling

[doggirldick]

imagine if cocks could self-lubricate, like they could secrete ooze

[doggirldick]

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

drake?

[hazeleyedcat]

josh?

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

where’s the body of christ?

[wyrddog]

[weirdness-is-good]

[inbabylontheywept]

my MS paint skillz

[legendofacrius]

What the fuck, this is my car

[legendofacrius]

You didn't even get my hamster stickers in the frame

[grox]

Yo mama so ugly she passed away peacefully in her sleep but was still marked as a car crash victim

[rustmarty]

this is killing me

[klapollo]

i always forget that bird from starfox is named falco lombardi. italian bird. i know his home life is some bananas shit.

[klapollo]

falco's italian bird mom: falcone when are you gonna get a real job. youre comin home all hours a the night smellin like space shit trackin martian dirt on my fuckin floors. how am i supposed to get any grandchildren with you livin like this

falco: ma i dont wanna hear it right now alright can you just tell me where the prosciutto is, im tryin ta make a fuckin sandwich ova here

falco's italian bird mom: giacomo do you hear this bullshit comin outta your son's mouth right now

falco's half italian bird dad: m'watchin wheel of fortune

[milfsisyphus]

the clock & calculator apps are like twin sisters to me

[labrownrecluse]

number...

[milfsisyphus]

[hotvampireadjacent]

Sure why not

[quasi-normalcy]

"Viral" car in Edmonton, Alberta

[ttaibhse]

can we get like a 5 year ban on men making art and just see how it goes

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Me, tears streaming down my face, sobbing, as I stare at the stars: it’s just so beautiful

The medieval peasant I went back in time to give a bag of Doritos to, concerned: what terrible and powerful sorcerers they must have in your age, to be able to veil the vault of heaven itself from view, as you say

Me, sniffling: I didn’t realize, I can’t, it’s so much, I, I… are the chips good, at least?

Medieval peasant, trying to make me feel better: they’re… magical, strange traveler

[thyfleshc0nsumed]

They need to stop packaging pop tarts and their generics by twos. Two pop tarts is too many. I'm 25 years old. I'm practically geriatric. Two pop tarts is too many. Two pop tarts will kill me.

[sneef-to-a-snorf-fight]

ground control to crazy frog

[miss-wizard]

[velvetun]

what it feels like asking anyone 1+ years younger than me if they wanna hang out