Nauseous and tired
I'm taking some medication for the next two weeks that make me really nauseous and tired... I also need to be on this really bland non-acidic diet... Also not only need to stay completely sober but also no caffeine... very little sugar... Really going through it with my body right now... I think this is why I am feeling so cranky and moody and angry... The kink anthology is OK so far... I did appreciate this one moment in the last story I read where this girl is all tied up and her partner asks what it is that she wants and she says "I want to trust you" which I think captures the essence of what these stories are like. I'm not really that wet, I'm just caught in a knot of realization and then thinking... Wondering what I would say in that position... certainly not that... even though it is true... saying it, however, would make it feel so much farther away... also... trust to what end? like... i want to trust you to not hurt me? (while experiencing pain -- there is something here) i want to trust you to stay? i want to trust you to not change? i want to trust you with my body? (what does this mean... an erotic deliverance?) trust is a word i am finding really insufficient. Either way, really does make you think... I'm also re-reading wide sargasso sea. One of my absolutely favorite novels... I'm supposed to be baking two lemon poppy seed cakes this week... I believe I will be going to hustle this week, despite the nauseousness. I love sitting on my balcony and reading. Yes, meet me astral side please... Goodnight~