An Explosive Aftermath...
A couple of days ago I posted about eating a whole bunch of hummus, milk, and deli meat alongside my fiber gummies, and that the following day I had a presentation for work that I'd have to hold the ensuing gas through.
I intended to film this as a comp. I recorded myself eating aforementioned trigger foods and even got a few farts on video. I figured I'd be able to hold back the farts through my work obligations no problem and do some filming later in the day.
I was mostly right. But things took a bit of a turn. Very slight mention of scat ahead.
One thing that I ate that day that I didn't mention or record because it was kind of an impulse decision but I decided to eat an entire pound bag of dates. I've done this before and gotten some minor stomach rumbles and a couple of farts but nothing that made me add it to the active trigger food roster.
This weekend may have changed that.
When I woke up the morning after loading up on all that hummus and dairy, I felt like I had a massive rock lodged in my guts. Not painful enough to make me think I was in danger, but enough to consider that maybe a pound of dried fruit mixed with a bunch of fiber gummies might stick around in my guts in a more uncomfy way than I imagined.
And of course there was gas. The usual massive bubbles just poured out of me anytime I relaxed enough. I figured the "mass" inside me would just slowly ferment away while I dealt with my work presentation, and while I might have to squeeze my asscheeks a bit tighter than normal, it wouldn't be too bad.
The work event was outside. I was far enough away from the group that I thought I could relieve a little bit of pressure from my grumbling gut to just make things a little easier on me...
...But it turned out something else wanted to come out too...
I went to the restroom to try to relieve myself in the time I had left. This is a not *too* unusual occurence, especially with milk as my dairy source, but what ended up happening was strange.
A very big explosion into the bowl, but with very, very few solids to show for it.
I cleaned up and went and did my presentation. Something about this particular combination of food coalescing in my gut made me ever so slightly hunch over. Again, not enough to make me think I was in any danger, but enough to tell me that my body was going to reject my meal in a great, explosive cloud and that I should be on a toilet when it finally happened.
The presentation itself went on without incident, even if my ass was slammed so tight it could turn coal into a diamond. I walked back to my car thinking I could just stop somewhere on the way home if I needed to. But each step I took just caused my stomach to boil and froth more and more. The mass felt like it was the size of a football and it was fermenting into huge bubbles that smashed into my ass and intestines, begging for release.
I decided I'd better take a detour to a gas station near where I was parked to let loose whatever horrifying bomb was building up deep in my guts. As I got closer to my destination, the cramping got more and more intense as my poor belly reached critical mass.
As I walked through the parking lot, I couldn't stand it anymore. A particulary bad stomach cramp made me stop walking and just stand still, hoping for it to pass. Looking around and seeing no one, I knew I had to let loose.
The nearest person was probably 20 feet away, but the way this fart echoed...they had to have heard something...
But that gave me enough relief to hustle my was into the restroom, where once I sat down, I let loose with what might be the single biggest fart of my life. My biggest regret of all of this is that I didn't have the presence of mind to record it on my phone...
But I sat there for about 20 minutes letting massive streams of gas rip from my increasingly sore asshole. The mass of gummies and dates didn't seem to let up, but at least I was getting comfortable enough to make my way home where I could let rip with relative impunity.
I was certain there would be a ton of solids in the bowl from how severe the farts were ripping out of me, but once again, almost nothing.
The whole experience left me strangely exhausted. Once I was home I just collapsed in bed and slept, waking myself up with a huge fart every now and then...
Looking back, the whole experience was sort of hot in a weird way. Especially being forced to stop in the parking lot desperately holding in gas and ultimately failing...
I may post the little bit of video I took someday, but for now, I hope this story will do :)
