Hey, i'm Sunny!

A smile from 🇹🇳 .

[mindfulstudyquest]

gentle reminder you can rise up from everything. you can recreate yourself. nothing is permanent. you are not stuck. you have choices. you can think new thoughts. you can learn something new. you can create new habits. all that matters is that you decide today and never look back.

[dreamgirlvibes]

Discipline looks boring until you see what it builds.

[osaretine]

[keepasteadyhustle]

[catchymemes]

[catchymemes]

[gayasssince97]

“What I Know Is That I Don’t Know”

I don’t know what I feel.

I don’t know how to feel.

I don’t know where to put this ache,

this quiet echo of everything I lost.

I don’t know when it started.

Maybe when she left.

Maybe when my aunt passed away.

Maybe when the world kept turning,

and I couldn’t keep up.

I keep waking up tired.

I keep loving people who don’t stay.

I keep giving chances like they’re candy,

until I have nothing left to give.

I keep pretending I’m okay.

I keep surviving,

I keep showing up,

keep moving,

keep smiling

with a sadness tucked under my tongue.

I’m tired of forgiving.

I’m tired of being the one who holds on

while everyone else lets go.

She let go.

My aunt let go.

Life let go.

And I stayed behind,

still holding the thread

with bloody hands.

I loved her with both feet in.

With a future in my hands.

With dreams I started sketching in real time.

And she left.

I lost my aunt too

the woman who taught me softness

and strength without saying a word.

Cancer took her slowly,

grief swallowed me whole.

Two griefs,

stacked like folded clothes I can’t bring myself to wear.

Two wounds,

neither one allowed to heal.

I walk through my days

with ghosts at my side.

With a heart that beats quietly

like it’s afraid to be heard.

I don’t cry much.

Well I do.

Almost every single day.

I just feel heavy.

I just feel full of something

that has no name.

I just feel like I’m surviving.

Surviving the mornings.

Surviving the memories.

Surviving the silence

that now feels like home.

I want a break.

A pause.

A place where no one needs anything from me.

A moment where I can fall apart

without needing to fix myself again.

Because what I know

is that I don’t know.

What I know

is that I’m tired.

What I know

is that I miss them.

What I know

is that I’m still here, somehow.

Breathing.

Hurting.

Carrying.

Trying.

And what I know

is that I need rest.

Not because I’m weak.

Not because I gave up.

But because I’ve been strong for too long

without a place to be held.

So if you ask me how I am,

I’ll say “I’m okay,”

but what I’ll mean is:

I’m grieving.

I’m lost.

I’m quiet.

I’m cracked.

I’m tired.

I’m still here.

And I don’t know what comes next.

But I know I need to stop before I disappear.

[gayasssince97]

How Do I Let You Go 2offa

I still miss you, tho.

I kinda wish you made it through the pain.

Through cancer, through the needles,

through the quiet nights that screamed at you.

I kinda wish time bent backward,

let us rewrite the ending,

let us rewind to laughter in the kitchen

when your hands were still steady

and your eyes still sparkled.

Don’t get me wrong

you are the strongest person I know.

Don’t get me wrong

you didn’t lose.

Don’t get me wrong

you never gave up.

You didn’t go out with a whisper.

You left a sky full of echoes.

Sometimes we win.

Sometimes we lose.

Sometimes we pretend we’re okay just to get through breakfast.

Sometimes we learn to let go.

But how.

how do I let you go?

You are

you are my second mom.

You are the one who asked, not just if I had eaten,

but if I had been fed—soul-fed.

You are the one who checked if I was warm,

not just clothed.

You are the one who asked,

“Did you sleep, did you rest, did you breathe today?”

Who do I talk to now?

Who do I confess to when I lie?

Who will tell me about my brother’s fuckups

with just enough protection and just enough love?

Who will ask me what I want to eat

and already be making it before I answer?

Who will make tea after every meal

not because we need it,

but because rituals keep us sane?

Because tea is a hug in a cup,

and you

you were the kettle always singing.

This is hard.

This is harder than anyone says.

This is a door that doesn’t close,

a wound that doesn’t heal,

a season stuck between winter and spring.

But how long does a grief last?

It’s all I have left of you.

I don’t want it to end.

If it ends,

does that mean I’m forgetting?

I’d rather hurt

than lose the sound of you

in my chest.

Please visit me in my dreams.

Every night.

Talk to me like you used to

soft, certain,

like you never left.

And maybe I will never fully let you go.

Maybe letting go just means

learning how to carry you

differently.

[thememedaddy]

[gayasssince97]

“القسم"

(after Rudy Francisco)

Okssom billeh—

that’s my biggest fear.

To hurt you.

To be careless with something

so carefully built.

To turn your heart into something

it has to recover from.

Okssom billeh—

I don’t want to be another lesson

you have to unlearn.

I want to be the one.

The one

who stays.

Who LISTENS,

Who comprehend,

who doesn’t flinch when your past speaks in echoes.

The one who knows

you are more than what you offer,

more than the way the world has treated you.

Okssom billeh—

I want to be your soft place,

your exhale,

your “you can fall apart here, you can have all your breakdowns and I won’t leave.”

Okssom billeh—

I want to be the one

who brings out the best in you—

not by fixing,

not by forcing,

but by loving you so loudly.

Okssom billeh—

I want to be the one

who grows with you.

Who turns healing into something we do together, not just separately.

like a dance we’re still learning.

You do your part, I will do mine, and dance it together.

I want to make your life easier—

not in grand gestures,

but in the way I take the grocery bags from your hands

without you asking.

In the way I remember how you like your cappuccino, americano and iced latte no flavor with three sugar.

How you are protective of your friends.

How their opinion and presence matter for you therefore for me as well.

Okssom billeh—

I want to be the one

who makes your life feel

less like survival,

more like living.

I want to love you right.

That’s all.

That’s everything.

[gayasssince97]

“I Knew You Before I Met You”

I knew you before I met you.

Not in the romanticized, fairytale way —

but in the quiet, unexplainable knowing.

A pull I couldn’t place.

A frequency I kept hearing

even when everything else was silent.

I knew you at 5 a.m.

when the world slept,

and we wrote things too raw for daylight.

You didn’t know I was there,

but I was.

Sitting with your words like they were sacred.

Reading pain you didn’t say out loud,

but still gave permission to feel.

We were strangers

having the same conversations

in different bodies,

with matching wounds

and no one to name them out loud —

except each other.

Except there,

on those digital pages,

where we grew up

without realizing we were growing together.

I felt you in those posts.

Not just the rhythm of your language,

but the heaviness you carried beneath it.

You never had to explain it —

I knew.

You were there,

on the other side of a screen,

holding pieces of yourself together

while I quietly did the same.

That kind of connection doesn’t vanish.

It stores itself in the body

and waits for the right moment

to return.

And now you’re here.

Real.

Not in pixels.

Not in between lines.

But in this moment.

And it doesn’t feel like starting.

It feels like resuming a conversation

we were always meant to finish.

I want to take this slow.

I need to take this slow.

But it’s hard when your presence feels like exhale.

When everything about the way you move

says, You can rest now. I see you.

This isn’t just timing.

It’s alignment.

This isn’t coincidence.

It’s the result of growth,

of distance,

of time doing what time does —

preparing us.

You feel like reward,

not rescue.

And I am not reaching for you

to be saved.

I’ve already done that part.

I’ve rebuilt.

Quietly.

Fiercely.

Softly.

And the version of me you’re meeting now?

She’s not looking for a fix.

She’s not offering half.

She’s full.

And she’s ready — not to rush,

but to stay.

I still have questions.

I still get quiet.

Still press pause when things get too tender.

But make no mistake —

my hesitation isn’t fear of you.

It’s reverence for what this could be

if we build it carefully.

So I’m not naming this.

Not boxing it up

or giving it a title it hasn’t asked for yet.

But I’ll tell you what it feels like:

It feels like the softness I held onto

when life told me to get harder.

It feels like the strength I built

when no one was watching.

It feels like the moment

I finally saw someone

and felt seen back.

It feels like continuation.

Like memory.

Like we never really stopped.

And if you’re here —

really here —

then so am I.

Not halfway.

Not conditionally.

Not perfectly.

But all in.

This doesn’t need to be rushed.

But it does need to be real.

And this —

is real.

[thegoodvybe]

[introvertunites]

[sfs-alsaud-deactivated20251212]

relationship goals: we both feel lucky to have each other

[cuteless]

date someone you could have fun at a grocery store with

[spoil-mynight-deactivated201909]

I believe in using songs to say things

[68-ai-deactivated20230617]

I’m proud of me because I’ve survived the days I thought I couldn’t