DPS stuff and Random stories

[normal-horoscopes]

GIRL HELP I AM UNDERGOING MITOSIS

[normal-horoscopes]

GIRL HELP WE ARE UNDERGOING MITOSIS

[normal-horoscopes]

GIRL HELP

GIRL HELP

[sweaty-toothed-mad-woman]

[anderperryuri]

i love that everyone’s talking about how tall pitts is rn

i’m gonna offer my favourite pictures of pitts where he’s just so tall he doesn’t even fit properly at his desk

(+ he’s just super cute)

[pittsie-boy]

yeah it’s a struggle

[poetsinnyc]

PUAHHAHAHA I LOVE THIS justice for pittsie he deserves a higher desk and chair

[liamsyux]

i need to know if there’s people who absolutely love dead poets society and dislike taylor swift. i hope it’s not just me.

[beebfreeb]

Messaging people for the first time is so hard. What am I supposed to say? Like, "You seem really odd and your blog intrigues me. Do you want to have philosophical conversations or perhaps talk about fictional characters?" What! Whatever. I will just follow you back and stare at your blog with my big beautiful brown eyes.

[scribe-cas]

Reblog if you're okay with people coming into your DMs with the "you seem really odd and your blog intrigues me, do you want to have philosophical conversations or perhaps talk about fictional characters"

[cozybug-deactivated20231208]

If there are trees you aren’t alone

[hiccupsfreckles]

I can’t tell if this is supposed to be encouragement or an ominous warning

[oswednesday]

#that’s entirely up to the trees

[coolhotdad]

my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.

[youstoodmeupforayardsale-mo-blog]

this passed the bechdel test

[wintersnails]

House has definitely sent Wilson a dick pic or several but he sends them by email because they are both old men and the titles are things like ‘URGENT: please identify if lung cancer’ or ‘patient biopsy results - respond ASAP’ so that Wilson’s guilt complex makes him feel obligated to open each one just in case someone’s life is actually on the line

[not-lupus]

gay sex

[eliotquillon]

if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

[uhhh-ghouls007]

The head & the heart… or whatever

[salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds]

[perksofbeingpoet]

the problem with pitts is that he's so fucking tall.

he's all knees and elbows, arms dangling at his sides when they walk so that his hand inevitably knocks into meeks', he's too tall for comfortably sharing their narrow welton beds; sharing them in a friendly way that doesn't mean meeks has to press his back to the wall to put at least some space between them, pittsie unbearably close and obliviously asleep, not aware that he's crowding into him.

he's too tall because he has to lower his face a little to properly look meeks in the eye, has to dip down in a way that does look like he's leaning in for a kiss, it does, meeks is not going crazy. and all he can do is lightly shove pittsie and laugh, laugh like he isn't thinking about how his shove can only ever reach pittsie's chest instead of the neutral space of his shoulder, meeks can only ever reach where pittsie is soft and warm and open, and when their knuckles brush he has to stare at the ground.

the problem is pitts is too fucking tall.

[gaydeadpoets]

Mr Perry when Neil wants to do theatre:

[gaydeadpoets]

[gaydeadpoets]

[gaydeadpoets]