hi i’m cee. 22, they/them, autistic nonbinary lesbian but not in a cool way.
this is not a fandom blog per se but it’s also not not a fandom blog. right now i post mostly about house md, but every now and then i get cranky about shadowhunters or alex rider again, and i use the #hivecore tag for things that reminds me of HIVE by mark walden. my url is a character from witherward by hannah mathewson; the series isn’t available in the US, but if you’re in the uk/mainland europe and like YA urban fantasy please read it so i’m not the only person stuck obsessing over it lol. anyway where were we.
i write fanned fiction and love answering asks/writing prompts/yapping. my tag for ask games is #hit me. please don’t actually hit me though i’m really nice i promise!!!! also comments on my fic are pellets in my enclosure!!!!!!!
FAQ:
q: *shipping discourse*
a: idgaf i know i have unpopular ship opinions and i’m at peace with being disliked! just don’t come into my inbox and harass me about it. ship whatever you like and i’ll ship whatever i like <3
q: are you [REDACTED] on tiktok?
a: ya sure am. i don’t advertise my tiktok publicly on here because i show my face on there (and don’t on here), but it’s not a state secret or anything. that said i do shamelessly steal my own tumblr posts and turn them into tiktoks when i cba coming up with a new video idea so unfortunately all you get from following me on here is a direct glimpse as to how lazy i am hahahahahaha
q: i want to be your friend but i’m scared!!
a: hey i love making friends. not with minors tho sorry. my tumblr dms are open and if you message me for my discord i’m always happy to hang and shoot the breeze about house. also i’m not scary i promise
q: what is the margaret qualley gif you always reference in your tags
a: this one
it just captures the full range of human emotion to me. i wish there was a way of expressing this gif verbally so i could use it irl. maybe i’ll get it tattooed.
ok that’s enough shop talk mommy needs to go back to defending amber volakis and calling cassia sims a lesbian with comphet. catch ya on the flipside!
cameron is usually in heels, so chase went an embarrassingly long time before he realized she's actually kind of Short. that she isn't His Height. he finds this delightful. he thinks it's very cute. some part of his lizard brain is very into it. she finds it so annoying of him, because she is average height thanks. (it's more that in his head, she sort of towers over him in terms of force of personality and presence, so the idea that actually she's physically smaller is like. lizard brain yes.)
lowkey, cameron has always known chase is like, absurdly hot. annoyingly good looking. her first day on the job he smiled at her and she was like holy shit. that said, she really had no interest in dating him, chase is NOT what she considers Her Type, she prides herself on Personality And Mind More Than Looks, but yeah every now and then she'd look over at him and instead of seeing her Annoying Work Friend she'd just be like. holy shit arms
...the irony is that cameron isn't what chase would consider his type either. friends-to-lovers, assholes!!
chase is very good at making her laugh, cheering her up; they both have similar dumb senses of humor (slightly pervy, bad jokes), and he kind of takes pride in his ability to cheer her up; cameron gets obsessive and caught up in stress and he sort of thinks of it as his job to take care of her and get her to relax. but chase can also -- he is a world champion at Dwelling and obsessing in his own head, so in a way, getting to focus on cameron also helps him: he's helping, he's making a difference, he's making her happy. :) but when he can't, he does get pretty frustrated and can be kind of... how dare you not be cheered up. this is his JOB.
cameron, for her part, has learned (at least by s6) that even though she WANTS to poke and prod and Problem Solve, this doesn't work well on chase. you know what does work? Just Sitting There. petting his hair. cuddling him while he sulks. treat him like a cat and he melts. she does very much wish he'd talk more, open up, let her psychoanalyze him, but...
she absolutely gossips to all her friends in the ER about him. everything. their dates, stupid arguments, sex things... there are about a dozen nurses and doctors who know EVERYTHING about chase, but then when he visits downstairs... it's not like cameron doesn't want to hang out or isn't happy to see it, but she plays it much cooler, lol. only brags when he's not in ear-shot.
NOTORIOUS pet namers. babe. baby. honey. hon. the occasional sarcastic sweetheart. my husband. my wife. chase delights in calling her "allison" around other people, especially people like foreman, like, look at me, i'm on first name basis. cameron usually calls him robert, but will switch to rob sometimes for convenience. she does, however, refuse to call him robbie.
because they're both so fucking busy, they schedule dates and do it OBSESSIVELY. there's probably a spreadsheet. they have a fridge calendar and spend an hour a week updating their schedules and free time. cameron's type-a nature and chase's meticulousness really combine into an organizational bomb here. ONE real date a week. THREE cafeteria lunch/dinner dates. i have three hours free on wednesday and you're working 2nd shift so let's plan for sex at 11:15. this... works for them? they enjoy the planning and anticipation. it's fun okay.
they split household chores in some arbitrary but sensible way. neither of them cook much, but chase tends to be a bit more in charge of dinner planning because he cooks slightly better and is a more adventurous eater who likes finding new things to try, and cameron is more of the grocery/household goods shopper.
cameron said i love you first. chase probably wanted it first, like, he knew and wanted to say it, but he was waiting her out both because he was afraid of rejection and because he suspected she might panic and run.
cameron is a bit clingy, actually. it's not physical, she just... kind of always has to know where chase is. not in a location tracking way, it isn't that she doesn't trust him, she just... what if something happens and she doesn't know where he is, right? his spontaneous streak does stress her out. she doesn't mind if he wants to grab drinks after work with a friend, but if he doesn't tell her, she'll be sitting at home imagining worst case scenarios, he's dead in a ditch, right? he's been missing for four hours he's absolutely dead she's alone again she's spiraling.
when they first started sort of dating, cameron knew she liked him, like: that was easy. he's funny, he's nice to her, he's hot, they have fun together. she didn't think that was love, she didn't love him, but that's what made him feel safe and appealing: he wasn't a threat or scary, she trusted him, he was easy. it reaaaallly snuck up on her. it really wasn't until human error and she realized she might never see him again and suddenly it was like. that's unacceptable. that isn't okay. everything else is changing and that's fine, but this isn't.
cameron was like, "sure, i'd like kids someday," she always assumed she would but it was kind of a Future Problem, right? she hadn't put too much thought or planning into it. but then one day she sees chase playing with a kid in the ER and she's just like. shit. i want kids. let's have three kids.
cameron is the big spoon. this is IN PART because chase is a light and restless sleeper and she started cuddling him to get him to STAY STILL she can't sleep he's being so annoying, but it worked almost too well. (of course, they do take turns. she's not immune to a nice cuddle at all. once cameron is asleep she is OUT but she very much likes to cuddle on the sofa or what have you. but mostly chase stop breathing loudly go to SLEEP.)
things cameron dislikes about chase: his flippancy, how sometimes his joking is more teasing, that he chews on EVERYTHING, that he leaves towels on the floor, that he will NOT open up when he's upset, that he is so good at reading her but she sometimes feels like she can't read him at all, his insecurities and jealous streak.
things cameron likes about chase: he makes her smile, he's funny, the moments his apathetic mask slips and he cares so much, that he's a terrible liar with no poker face, that he's so smart and capable without even trying (this can be a little annoying), his arms and shoulders, playing with his hair, (secretly) that he steals her shampoo and smells like whatever fruity scent she buys. she buys progressively more floral soaps on purpose.
things chase dislikes about cameron: how anal she can be, how skittish, how she gets worked up about everything, that she has to do everything perfectly or not at all, the way she runs away when she's scared. that she's flat chested.
things chase likes about cameron: that she cares about so much. everyone. everything. openly, like it's no big deal. that she's silly but so unsubtle. the way her eyes light up when she thinks she's being funny. how driven she is, how her career has taken off (even if he sometimes wishes she had more free time for him). how she's usually so buttoned up but at home she'll be barefoot and wear pajamas and seem so different. how she's an ugly crier. how she'll always rest her head on his shoulder when they're watching TV. that even though she could have anybody, she's with him.
we need to talk more about the fandom experience of "I actually do like the idea of these two characters together and think it would have been an interesting direction for the show to have gone in, but unfortunately everyone who openly ships them is so exhaustingly unpleasant about it that it's barely even enjoyable to engage with the fandom at large anymore so the ship itself is now ruined for me"
ah doing ma thing just like god int- (remembers im atheist) just like the universe intend- (remembers i don't believe in determinism) just like noone and nothing intended ever. doin ma thang fucking unpredictable style
Remember in 2010 when Taio Cruz said "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes"? I appreciated his restraint. You can't just throw your hands up in the air whenever. There's a time and a place, and that time was 2010, and the place was the club.
often you will see things online where you just have to be like "what a strange thing to say" or "i don't think that's true :)" to yourself and try to move on or you will lose your mind
my opinions shouldn’t be rejected— @eliotquillon - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
