i am made of love, and it's stronger than you @gayghosty - Tumblr Blog

I have so much to do I feel like I'm drowning, I literally have no idea how to sort all the stuff I need to do into manageble bits to sort out

Ugggh going on insta was a mistake..... Everyone I know is like having fun and going to parties and stuff and I'm just lying at home doing nothing.... I know it's only been half a week since I moved, but I feel like I should already know lots of people uggggg

#i kno my expectations are unrealistic #i just wanna hangout w all the cool le/sbians

Ahhhh AHHHHHH I love my girlfriend so so so so so so so so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#this is too sappy for my main blog but i rly wanted to say this!!!!!!!#im litteraly the luckiest girl alive bc my girlfriend is the most beautiful and sweet and kind and funny person in the whole wide world!!!!

#family //////#death //////#neg /////////#im not sure where else to say this so yeah idk

ugggggh im so stressed out about getting a job, i should of started job hunting like a month ago bc nowheres hiring anymore and the longer it takes to find a job the long i have to stay in the middle of nowhere

#i hate executive dysfunction so much

I am p upset, me and a friend were talking about what mythical creature we'd b and they said a mermaid, so I jokingly said id be a siren, bc id lure men to their deaths with my singing voice, and they got annoyed and said "you're making a bad name for all lesbians kat, like Ur representing the lesbian community and making it seem like all lesbians are man hating misandrists" and I'm rly upset but I feel like I'm overeacting but I just feel like I'm a bad person now and I don't know what to do with myself

#like I didn't think what I'd said was that bad? I just rly like Greek mythology and was making a joke?#and I cant bring this up with them bc I feel like theyd tell me I was making men feel bad with that joke #I just feel like I don't belong anywere now

honestly,,,,, im so sad at the mo,,,, like my photography/art Alevels are done and i felt like i was free for like a day but,,,,,, i remembered about english and like, why the hell did i, a dyslexic person, pick to do an english A level, what is wrong w/ me????

#neg /#like i love books so much and i wanna be free to just read gay books in peace at this point #im trying to read every classic lesbian fiction book ever written bc ive read all the super known ones an im hunting down others

Nothing like a call from your sister to ruin ur make day and make u feel awful about your life choices and yourself and the fact that you'll never be good enough and you've always been an outcast :'^)

#i was having the nicest day I've had by myself in months #aaaaand now I'm feeling v v v bad about myself #family /

urrrrrgggggghhhhh im so confused about gender and have been for ages and like, if im not nb, trans or cis then like what the fuck am i????? i id as a women in a lot of ways but like only in relation to being a lesbian??? i feel like im not quite in any catogry, non of them quite fit right and its so frustrating and i feel like im a gnc women maybe i guess? and probs butch but like,,,,, im not sure,,,,, im also p femme,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, uggggh i h8 this

#someone thought i was a guy today bc ive been dressing butch and it rly upset me #but like in the past that was something i desperatly wanted #i dont kno how to deal w/ being viewed as a person at all #i should sleep ugh

after my interview i got the train home with a friend from school that i havnt seen in a while and it was rlyrly nice to hangout and catch up again but,,,, as soon as i got off the train my brain was like “everything u said was bad/annoying, and they think ur a shitty person!!!!” and its like??? no they dont??? why does my brain hate me ugggggh

man im rly freaked out about my blood test results this tuesday, like i already hav a life limiting condition and i dont wanna have something else like thyroid problems or anemia or chro//nic fati//gue ughhhhh

#im just @ my body like #im already disabled..... pls chill......#illness ////

honestly all i want right now is a cup of peach bubble tea and to see my girlfriend :cc

#i have way too much course work and not enough time #i hate being in school its killing meeeeee #food ///

ahhh this has been a rly good day, i actually talked to my sister on the phone and she gave me a rly cool rio//t grr//rrl cd, and my gran is doing so much better ((i even got a super nice polaroid of all my family ahhh) plus i got loads of ne/w wave dvds!!!!!

#family ///#hospitals ///#things r going so good rn ahhhhhh

gotta love when u have to go back to the hospital, u where kept in against ur will twice, and u spend the rest of the day reliving the most traumatic parts of ur childhood, flashbacks and all :) :) :)

#hospitals ///#hospitalization ////#medical abuse ///

i dont wanna just be sad and mopey about this so like im just gonna call my sister tomorrow to just say hi bc i dont like that we dont talk and i dont like that she didnt call me on my birthday and i want things to change so im gonna try and sort this out

#i know ive been imiture about this stuff in the past and ive avoid her bc i dont know how to deal with agressive people #but i want to fix this

my sister didnt call or message or send me a card on my birthday(today) and im really sad like i know we argue and i know shes trying to b a lot more accepting and stuff but it kinda hurts that she didnt call

#it just sucks that we arent friends #like i would like to be friends but shes rly mean just like as her way of friendship #and i understand that but i just wish she respected me

ohhhhh god im so anxious about applying to uni uggggggggh im freaking out i dont wanna apply to manch/ester met bc i rlyrly dont wanna go there, i wanna go to st marti/ns but everyone tells me i need to have a backup school :ccc

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i am made of love, and it's stronger than you