Gay Advice Blog

A blog for spreading boy love! -- Mlm people follow only please!! This blog is trans/nb friendly (mods are trans!) -- You can send in confessions and your feelings about boys via ask or submit! All posts are OK to reblog unless stated otherwise!! - Mod Anchor, Mod Tiny

[gayregards]

2 unrelated questions:

Any advice for a person who is on a process of coming out (gay identity)?

How do I navigate social anxiety disorder?

Bit context:

- Realized that im most likely gay

- im 27 - no prior experience of sex, dating or relationships (i would want to but my anxiety makes dating & friendships in general hard)

- backage from past: school bullying & emotional neglect from parents = depression & mainly severe social anxiety disorder

- social anxiety isnt really related to being gay but to mostly negative experiences about ppl in general > being gay kinda is neutral or even positive thing for me in my mind but my anxiety disorder and negative self image skews my interpretation about things (for example anxiety about sex or other men)

- i guess the worst fear of mine is being bullied again

- social anxiety translates also to self-esteem & body image issues (i dont find myself attractive which is not entirely true i guess since for shits & giggles I made an account to an gay dating app and got couple likes in the 1st day - not planning to meet anyone though)

- i guess the best avenue for me would be to get a therapist which im currently doing but the waiting lists are long & i kinda need help now. Ive wasted enough time already.

i am so sorry i have no idea how long this has been sitting in the inbox, but i do have some things to say about this. i have a severe, debilitating anxiety disorder. it sucks. it is so bad. it has made so many social experiences so, so, SO BAD. dating for me has only ever worked out in situations which started like ldr/online dating. this might be something you can look into! the avenue of text, for me, helps my anxiety because i can revise what i'm saying as i go. i can also take my time interpreting messages longer (i'm nd as well so sometimes it's hard to register things and it takes longer to process and respond). it's likely you'll need to develop a close bond before you feel safe enough to pursue somebody romantically - joining discord servers or facebook groups relevant to the things you like and posting/messaging people from within them to make friends will be a good start. the fun thing about mean people on the internet is that it's really easy to get rid of them. you owe nobody anything on the internet - block people as needed. knowing this has helped me not be *as* scared of interacting online. i hope you are in therapy now, or that therapy comes soon, because the right therapist is such a relief on this stuff. -mod med

[gayregards]

I’ve been having trouble finding love again, and I think it’s because I’m too vanilla.

I’m a big fan of cuddles kisses picnics making love.

But what I’ve found recently and over the years is that a lot of men get turned off or simply weirded out that I don’t have any kinks; that I ain’t into role play bdsm etc etc. Or the fact that when I go on dates I don’t want to instantly go back to their place to have sex with them.

I just don’t know what to do :(

unfortunately it's a tough crowd, but i feel you - i am very similar and don't really engage in kinks, much prefer the more gentle type of love like you're describing. the best advice i have to offer is that the person who is right for you will likely be somebody who feels similarly. or somebody who can fulfill those needs and be mutually content. it's hard, but those guys do exist, and you can find them. if you're using dating apps that'll probably be harder, though. good luck anon, i hope you find your fulfillment <3 -mod med

[imlovedirkstrider]

rent overdue. need about $500 to make it this week. already have about $400. includes late fee.

i could do a big post but i dont have the energy so here are the essentials, my fiance is disabled and can't hold a job due to chronic pain right now, i work part time and my roommate works full time but he just started a new job so the paycheck game is weak. i'm tired and depressed and i can't afford therapy. so help if you can, or share or whatever, i feel like giving up on life but making rent this month would be a little more incentive to keep going

http://paypal.me/pistolwink

$pistolwink (cashapp)

[imlovedirkstrider]

im finally going to sleep now but wouldnt it be cool if i woke up to some good news tomorrow

[imlovedirkstrider]

so far i've gotten $25, thank you to the person who sent that

still a long way from my goal though so please reblog if you can

[imlovedavestrider]

If u can help us it’s appreciated, Im currently physically unable to hold down any job I qualify for, I’m looking for things I might be able to do but one of my biggest issues is my breathing snd its kinda hard to do ANYTHING when ur struggling to get oxygen

I feel awful and I hate not being to help with our finances as much as I want to. If you can donate its. Really really appreciated

I also have art and cosplay commissions open

[imlovedirkstrider]

rent overdue. need about $500 to make it this week. already have about $400. includes late fee.

i could do a big post but i dont have the energy so here are the essentials, my fiance is disabled and can't hold a job due to chronic pain right now, i work part time and my roommate works full time but he just started a new job so the paycheck game is weak. i'm tired and depressed and i can't afford therapy. so help if you can, or share or whatever, i feel like giving up on life but making rent this month would be a little more incentive to keep going

http://paypal.me/pistolwink

$pistolwink (cashapp)

[imlovedirkstrider]

im finally going to sleep now but wouldnt it be cool if i woke up to some good news tomorrow

[maclexa]

Klaus + talking about Dave

[thyesteann]

what if we held hands at spirit halloween

[grilchis]

so I made a collage out of Maurice whilst I was reading it and honestly you could apply it to lots of books ;)

[pinkfemme-deactivated20210608]

you hear me: homosexuality is inclusive of nonbinary people. nonbinary isn’t a ‘third gender’ and there are so many different experiences and genders one could be. nonbinary people are included in every sexuality.

[gayregards]

Ok so this one boy I like is someone I've known for around a year and one of the 1st ppl I came out to (and he def likea dudes im SURE) and he's wonderful and at a friend's bday party we went rollerskating and he (amd.other ppl) held my hand to steady me but he stayed the longest and our palms were sweaty because I held so tight and i fell a lot an he made me laugh sm and I REALLY LOVE HIM but im nowhere near his type and don't wanna make things awkward and I'm trans I kinda pass but WHAT DO

i'm trans too, and i've gotten feelings for cos men who i feel like i might not pass to. this is really cute! if you're already out to him as trans, i would recommend shooting your shot and telling him how you feel! if anything, you'll get closure about whether or not he returns the feelings. hand holding can be very intimate or very platonic given the circumstances, so i could see this either way!

when admitting crushes on people always be prepared for the worst, for somebody to say no. it makes things better if they say yes, as well as keeps you from getting too heartbroken about a possible no!

as always, i'd love to see more advice in the replies and reblogs!

-mod large

[diverse-reads]

There are plenty of reasons why book lovers want it to be 2021 already… here’s a few more 🏳️‍🌈

[gayregards]

also, in response to a previous post, i think i'm going to try to keep this blog active! if interaction is sucky i might make a new one and just link it but i plan on continuing to give advice, share cute stories, and reblog gay shit!

also a small reminder that we do not answer nsfw asks, though i would be fine with responding off-anon, privately!

also i am changing my mod name (due to some pretty bad dysmorphia) from mod large to mod anchor!

[gayregards]

[this turned out long, whoops]

So my lgbt friends all joke that I’m gay (I consider myself straight, and they know that) but I’ll be the first to admit I’ve done some experimenting (they don’t know that). I guess I personally consider myself an opportunist when it comes to the sexual/flirting side of things? Because I’ll go for it if the opportunity arises, but I won’t search it out—that’s only happened a handful of times anyways, and each time I lost the mood pretty quickly once it actually started. I’ve never considered a relationship with a man, and never thought I’d particularly enjoy it. That’s why I call myself straight, because I wouldn’t wanna mislead any guys and give them false hope if the topic ever came up.

But last night I had a dream—it’s a bit weird, bear with me—where I met gay US presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg, but about fifteen years younger to match my own age. He broke down for some reason or another and I calmed him down by tightly hugging him, like basically cradling him, until everything was good. I hate hugs in real life too, so it’s crazy how fondly I’m remembering on this dream...when that’s something that would make me immensely uncomfortable if it actually happened. But in the dream, we went on to be very close and spend most our time together talking and just enjoying each other’s presence with what I feel like was quite a bit of romantic subtext (nothing ever got physical, whatsoever). I’d never felt more calm or safe in my life, honestly. I’ve had that platonically in real life before, and if this felt like those times, I wouldn’t be questioning anything. But this felt more similar to the past times where I was with a romantic partner, and that’s what has me confused.

I can’t really be bisexual if I’m not sexually attracted to other men and can’t really envision settling down with one either, right? So why do I like the idea of that dream scenario so damn much?

-------------------------------------

submission by @18and23

RESPONSE:

in situations such as this i encourage you to recognize the fluidity of sexuality. you don't *have* to be certain of your sexuality or even really put a label on it. one reason you could be so attached to that dream scenario is an attraction to men, possibly romantic, sexual, or borh, that you have a mental block on due to internalized homophobia.

another possible reason is that you find it exciting, or taboo, to experience such an intimate friendship/relationship with a man, where you can be affectionate without fear. if this were the reasoning, i believe it would have so much to do with toxic masculinity and western ideals for men.

but that is just a couple of guesses i have based on my personal experiences and from what i've heard. if anybody else has any more feedback, please feel free to respond to this post! thank you guys!

-mod large

[gayregards]

this week i found out that i have been outed by three of my friends. it’s on a small scale, but rumors about my sexuality are starting to spread and i’m really really scared. and pretty sad. i would love some help/guidance on how to handle this. i think i’m going to have to come out to my grade at this school retreat thing next weekend, but i’m terrified. anyway. aaaaaaa!! help please -💫🏳️‍🌈

not too sure how long ago you sent this but i'm going to answer the question just so the advice is out there!

rumors will be rumors, i'd start by considering what you want out of this: do you want to come out? are you ready to do so?

next i recommend letting those friends who have outted you know that that's really not cool, and they have no right to do so

if you don't want to come out, ignore the rumors. people thought i was gay long before i came out but you'd be surprised how unlikely it is that they confront you. you'll want to have a plan on what to say just in case (my backup plan was just telling the truth) but like i said, especially in school, people are rarely confrontational when it comes to rumors

if you are ready to come out, and you choose to do so, you should get to decide when and how. if you go this route, it's your time to shine, my friend. good luck to you.

-mod large

[gayregards]

This blog is now an archive unless one of the other mods does something with it

[imlovedirkstrider]

This is my dog zeus.

i’m in danger of losing him or having to turn him over to a horrible home.

My dad just gave me a week’s notice to collect $400 to move my dog into our apartment. We are living paycheck to paycheck right now. Not to mention we would need to buy food at the bare minimum. If I don’t get this money my dog will either go back to previous conditions with my mother (very ungroomed, tight quarters, shoved in a cage with another dog who was aggressive to him) or have nowhere to go. Goal set to $500 to cover initial supplies. Please help.

https://paypal.me/pools/c/8h4A03E4oI

Dog in Danger

My dad just gave me a week’s notice to collect $400 to move my dog into our apartment. We are living paycheck to paycheck right now. Not to

[imlovedirkstrider]

just looked at our rent (due tomorrow) and thanks to houseguests for con waaay increasing our bills and already being broke we are roughly $200 down for rent. fortunately ive already gotten that much thanks to all the people reblogging but i cant pay my pet deposit if i have rent due so its a priority. thank u guys for all ur help

[gayregards]

this is mod large’s dog and his post, please help in any way you can!

[gayregards]

Uh I'm a pansexual trans guy.. I still def like guys tho.. am i allowed to follow

Of course!!! All men who like men are welcome here

[gayregards]

Hey Mod Big! Can you let us know if you see this? We haven’t heard from you in a while and were wondering if you’re still here! Also we can’t message you on Discord hence this public post. Thanks!

-Mods Tiny and Large